Creating Connection
136 3rd Avenue P4N 1C5 Timmins, ON, Canada

Ask for what you want! Im a big advocate for partners asking for their needs to be met. Its not nagging or demanding, but a simple I need a hug, I would really like some time alone tonight, I need you to be more affectionate with me, I need you to do the dishes every other night... you get the point. A lot of people argue that I dont want to have to ask my partner to do these things for me, they should just know - or if they do it only because I ask then it doesnt fee...l genuine Ex. I dont want to have to ask my partner to be affectionate I want them to just want to do it. But if your partner isnt the lovey dovey type they dont think about holding your hand or giving you a kiss goodnight. They show they love you in other ways like making sure your car runs smoothly, making you coffee in the morning etc. . This is my stance. . If I like tacos and my partner likes them too but its not theyre go-to, they dont ever crave it (they like burgers). Do I not want the tacos now just because I had to ask for them? and when my partner gave me what I asked for, do I want them less because it wasnt their idea? No! I want the darn tacos, Im going to enjoy them and appreciate my partner for giving me what I asked for. And tomorrow, Ill be happy to have burgers with them. Same philosophy for attention, affection, compliments, thinking of you texts etc. If these are things you need to feel good its OK to ask for them, even if it wasnt your partners idea, theyre probably more than happy to offer it when reminded. . #lovelanguages #affection #wordsofaffirmation #whatdoyouwant #iwantitthatway #holdme #loveme #relationship #letstalk #couples #couplestherapy

Reality check. If you do not communicate your expectations with your partner - you will be disappointed when they dont meet your (unspoken) expectations of them. If I expect that my partner & I will spend the evening together, relax, cuddle, watch a movie but I dont tell them - when they come home from work and tell me they have plans with friends - I WILL be disappointed because my expectation for the evening isnt going to happen. I may be left to feel unimportant and not... a priority because I had a night planned together and they didnt. Communication is key. If my partner thinks were going to spend the day together but I planned to schedule in some much needed self-care, they might be left to feel rejected, not wanted because we didnt talk about our plans or expectations. Your partner cannot read your mind no matter how long youve been together. . #expectations #communicationiskey #realitycheck #letstalkaboutit #relationshipadvice #partner #couples #couplestherapy See more

Listen for one way an affair can start and some tips for prevention! #relationship #infidelity #couplestherapy #attachmenttheory #connection #tuneinforlove #payattentiontome #timmins #timminsontario

What would be a good balance of time together and time apart from your partner? How do your different personalities relate to your needs for togetherness and separateness? How can your partner meet your needs for both closeness and independence? Finding balance is key. Without balance one partner may be left to feel lonely, dismissed, unimportant, while the other may be left to feel smothered, overwhelmed, torn. Be open about your expectations for how much time you need to spend together, separate, with friends, family etc and how you expect this will change at different stages of your relationship. #together #letstalk #independenttogether #boundariesarebeautiful #meetmewhereimat #communication #partner #couples #relationship #couplestherapy

Question to ask your partner - what motivates you? Asking this question can help get to know what it is that gets you out of bed each morning. Is it to be the best version of yourself you can be? To be a great mom? To travel/explore? To be creative?... To hustle at your dream job? To be your own boss one day? To build your dream home? . Ultimately, what ignites your soul? Knowing this about your partner can help guide a lot of future conversations and helps you get to know each others dreams, desires and motives behind everyday actions and behaviours. . #youlightupmylife #fireinside #dreams #lifegoals #motivation #communication #partners #couples #relationship #innerwork #getoutofbed See more

Does your teen struggle with BIG emotions? If your loved one is a super-feeler it can be tough as a parent to know how to help when your child is explosive, angry, stressed or shut-down. No matter how you try to help, you seem to be pushing them farther and farther away. You feel like you can never get it right, you dont know where to turn, you want a happy and healthy relationship with your teen. Emotion coaching provides a road map for regulating BIG emotions to help your ...teen reduce the urge for substance abuse, cutting, eating disorders, impulsive or explosive behaviour. Your teen doesnt want to come to therapy? No problem! Emotion coaching is for YOU, the parent/caregiver to develop skills to connect and communicate effectively with your loved one. Contact Kaitlin, Registered Psychotherapist for more info www.creatingconnectioncft.com [email protected] 705-221-7567

Question to ask your partner - how do you think Ill react if you share a secret with me? If your partner is fearful of your reaction/overreaction/defensiveness/criticism they are less likely to open up. To help with open conversation, start by asking whats their biggest fear. Fear of judgment Fear of embarrassment Fear youll leave (abandon me)... Fear youll tell your friends Fear youll use it against me later Fear you wont believe me Openness and vulnerability are ingredients for connection. When fear gets in the way, we can be left feeling alone, distant, not important. I hear a lot of people say, I want my partner to open up to me, be able to tell me anything, get emotional with me. We tend to push our partner to talk when theyre not comfortable which leads them to further shut down and not talk at all. Another key ingredient is to watch out for our own defences when our partner does open up

little Monday morning run to start off the week! #5km #selfcare #runhappy #happymonday #businessownerlife #bosslife #bosslady #womeninbusiness #motivation

Its helpful to be specific when communicating needs with our partner. Many of us are guilty of assuming someone close to us can (or should be able to) read our minds. Tell your partner what you need and when. When Im stressed, I need... a back rub to hear you tell me everything will work out... let me complain & just listen, dont fix it tell me Ive got you, were in this together bring me coffee . #supportme #coffeeislife #communicationiskey #stressrelief #partner #couples #relationship See more

New business cards just arrived! Front & Back what do you think?? #womeninbusiness #localbusiness #oneyearinbusiness #timmins #timminsontario #canada #brandidentitydesign #branding #therapist #therapistsofinstagram #couplestherapy #couplescounseling #badassbossbabe

Question of the day! Ask your partner what they envy from others relationships? Its natural to compare ourselves to others, we see couples that appear picture perfect, holding hands, laughing, doing fun things or just hanging out. While most people say its not healthy to compare ourselves (which for the most part I agree), talking about these things in an open and respectful way leads to opening up about what you need more of within your relationship. - holding hands in pu...blic - - more alone time - - date nights - - cook together - - lunch hour quickies - - more balanced gender roles- #questionoftheday #communicationiskey #relationships #connection #envy #sharedontcompare #holdmyhand #couplestherapy #timminsontario #relationshipcounselling

Because choice. Because choice we dont try. We dont try because were led to believe that the grass is greener on the other side, or that happiness should be easy, or if our partner doesnt fulfil every single need that they arent right for us. . We have a display of options at the swipe of a finger, making it easy to compare and fantasize about everything we dont have instead of putting the phone down and looking into the eyes of the beautiful soul in front of us. Desper...ate to connect with us and we dont even pay attention. We set unrealistic and high expectations and when were disappointed we move on. We dont try because we believe that someone else will come along and do it better instead of making this, right here, right now, better. Instead, we want instant gratification because we can. Because choice is easier. . #takeyourpick #grassisgreener #grassisgreenerwhereyouwaterit #onlinedating #plentyoffishinthesea #swiperight #swipeleft #instantgratification #romanceisdead #waitforme #allyouneedislove See more

Question of the day to ask your partner! What do you like about us? I often start out a 1st therapy session by asking the couple how they met and what attracted them to each other. I want to get a sense of them as a couple, what do they like about each other and what they like about being in this relationship with each other. Couples are usually in a rocky place in their relationship when they come for therapy but they are almost always able to still tell me what they like about each other and whats the glue that keeps them together . #relationship #questionoftheday #partner #couples #admirer #couplegoals #thisisus #humanconnections #letsgetpersonal #couplestherapy #timmins #timminsontario #northernontario

Question of the day to ask your partner! You can make this one a 2-part question and ask about the little things in your day to day that excites you or ask about the big things that you look forward to like travel, competition, concerts etc. #questionoftheday #feelalive #excitedforthefuture #relationshipgoals #couplestherapy

You just found out your partner cheated on you. You talk to friends/family but they all say the same thing, once a cheater, always a cheater. When you first got together you told yourself, if he/she ever cheats on me I will leave. Now that it actually happened, you find yourself doubting everything you thought you would ever stand for. After the shock, anger, devastation and disappointment youre surprised to find that you actually want to try to make it work. You just don...t know how to get passed this. On top of that, you fear that your friends/family will judge you for staying. Your friends say you deserve better, or have some self-respect and leave. You agree for a moment, and then you think but I love him/her and Ive invested so much into this relationship to just throw it all away. You want to learn to trust again and learn how to get unstuck from this emotional rollercoaster. There are a lot of issues that couples can overcome alone - healing from an affair is not easily done. Seeking help from a couples therapist who is well trained in working with couples and infidelity will help give you a map for healing. Visit my website to find out how I can help www.creatingconnectioncft.com

I have to confess I dont have a straight answer to this question. Love is complex, it has no rhyme or reason. Ive had a relationship where we were the most opposite in every way possible and it worked well, we complimented each others opposites and it seemed like the perfect fit- until it wasnt. Ive had a relationship where I felt like we were soul mates in every way because in every way possible we were the same, it was easy, simple, fit me like a glove, it was perfect - until it wasnt. So there is no answer. Love is love. Love is blind. Love doesnt make sense. Love needs attachment, commitment & fulfillment. Which ever way those needs are fulfilled, either by sameness or by opposites it can work. #questionoftheday #loveislove #oppositesattract #birdsofafeather #soulmate #relationship #youdoyou

This just came in the mail! Ive been anxiously awaiting this book Quickies - The Handbook of Brief Sex Therapy Goodbye world. Ill be busy reading #lovelearning #reading #intimacy #passion #eroticism #lgbtq #relationshipadvice #sexuality #loveaffair #letstalkaboutsex #quickies #couplestherapy #psychotherapy

Question of the day to ask your partner! What advice would you give yourself if you could turn back the clock for one hour? Ask your partner their answer and then share your answer with them! This question is a lot of fun and youll probably be surprised by the answer! #questionoftheday #letstalk #advice #lifeadvice #communicate #timetravel #couplesgoals

Question of the day to ask your partner! Ask each other what is your definition of cheating? This question is crucial when beginning a relationship because everyone has their own boundaries and definition of cheating and ideals for the relationship. It can become a grey area if you and your partner havent had this discussion. Cheating can be a lot of things, anywhere from talking to another person, to sex with another person and everything in between. ... At the end of the day, its anything that you feel you cant tell your partner about because hiding anything breaks trust. Communication is key. #questionoftheday #communication #lover #connection #infidelity #couples #partner #relationship #letstalk #letstalkaboutsex #affair #affairrecovery #couplestherapy #communicationiskey See more

Couples argue about money more than any other topic. Agree or disagree? Its important to explore what money means to each of you. For some, money symbolizes stability or security, others see money as enjoyment. Some believe its important to have enough money to buy high quality things while others want just enough in the bank to cover the bills. Couples need to know where their priorities align, where they do not align and how they can create mutual goals. #couples #money #finance #partnerincrime #relationshipgoals #security #stability #status #control #goals #communication #letstalk #couplestherapy #therapist #timmins #timminsontario #canada

Questions for Connection - ask your partner their ideal date? Get creative and paint a picture of your perfect date for each season Here in Northern Ontario we see all the extremes from cold to hot and everything in between (mostly cold though) Find out your partners perfect night & why. #questionsforconnection #questionsforcouples #datenight #dreaming #fancy #nightout #summervibes #summernights #love #couple #partner #relationship #creative #letstalk #timmins #timminsontario #northernontario #northerngirl #canadiangirl

Question of the day to ask your partner! Keep this one for date night and integrate what you come up with into your evening together. Is it when I see you in your element? (being artistic, dancing around or playing a sport) When you wink at me.... When I wear that little black dress? When you are assertive, take the lead and take control. When you whisper that you want me. When I smile at you like youre the only one I see. When you stand up for me to your friends. Here are a few ideas to get you started. #questionsforconnection #connection #couples #partnerincrime #relationshipgoals #love #intimacy #eroticism #datenight #fridaynight #letstalk #letstalkaboutsex #couplestherapy #psychotherapy #onlinetherapist #timmins #timminsontario #canada

Surviving covid19 with your other half is tough. Were managing our own stress and insecurity while also supporting our partner and other loved ones. Clear communication about what you need for comfort and support in those heightened moments of stress and anxiety will change the game. Make sure to be clear about what you need and when, as much as we would like to think they can, our partner cant read our mind. They usually have the best intentions in trying to help but ofte...n they need a bit of a road map and thats okay if its leading the way to stronger bond and emotional support #Reassurance #relationship #couples #partner #couplestherapy #instatherapy #communicate #letstalk #letstalkaboutit #anxiety #stress #mentalhealth #support #covid19 #coronavirus #strongertogether #timmins #timminsontario #northernontario #canada

Questions for Connection - since its Sunday I thought this would be a great question to ask your partner today. . Start the week off in a positive way by checking in with your other half to ask what YOU can do better. #questionoftheday #connection #letstalk #support #strongertogether #couples #partnerincrime #relationship #couplestherapy #timmins #timminsontario #northernontario #canada

Virtual therapy available! - a lot of people think online therapy will be impersonal. In reality, its like inviting your therapist into your living room, it adds another layer of comfort and intimacy between you and your therapist #virtual #onlinetherapy #couples #couplestherapy #insession #relationships #letstalk #mentalhealth #connection

Question of the day to ask your partner! Its important to check in with each other. Given the current state we are in it will be easy for your partner to say theyre overwhelmed by corona virus - dont let them get off so easily! Dig a little deeper for specifics about whats been difficult lately! Change of routine? Finances? Loneliness? Loss? #questionoftheday #communication #letstalk #relationship #partner #couples #overwhelmed #support #strongertogether #mentalhealth #stress #couplestherapy #psychotherapy #timmins #timminsontario #northernontario #canada #yourdowntowntimmins

Question of the day to ask your partner! Sometimes were afraid to ask our partner about their fears because of our own fear that we might not be good enough. We need to share our insecurities so that we can receive reassurance - you are good enough you are worth it you are the only one I need you are the one for me #questionoftheday #communication #letstalk #datenight #relationship #fearless #reassurance #love #loveyourself #lovers #partnerincrime #couples #couplestherapy #psychotherapy #timmins #timminsontario #canada

Questions for Connection - here is your question for today! . Sometimes it can be difficult to communicate what we need or want from our partner for intimacy and connection Its important to communicate openly about your needs and wants. If that doesnt feel comfortable, talk about WHY it doesnt feel safe to talk about it. Dont be afraid to be playful, to explore each other. Many of us are in lockdown and are spending a LOT more time with our partners which means NOW is th...e time to improve communication #questionoftheday #letstalkaboutsex #letstalk #sexuality #sexualhealth #mentalhealth #couples #intimacy #lovers #partnerincrime #relationship #communicationiskey #connection #couplestherapy #psychotherapy #timmins #timminsontario #northernontario #canada #canadiangirl See more

Do you tend to bottle up your emotions? Its common for one partner to think that its best to try to handle things on your own - maybe you think you can handle it or you dont want to be a burden. You think my partner has enough stress already Although you have the best intentions by not sharing the load, this is actually a recipe for distance and disconnection in your relationship. Being vulnerable creates closeness and a sense of teamwork - me & you - you & I - youre in this together! #connection #partner #couples #relationship #letstalk #communication #mentalhealth #stressfree #couplestherapy #teamwork #strongertogether