The Self-Confidence Project

We have to care for ourselves and we have to care for each other. K xx

Dont judge your emotions, simply experience them. They are a visitor in a room. Acknowledge, and let it pass. K xx

Are you tired of repeating the same relationship patterns, over and over? Each time we get into a relationship, we hope for a different outcome. But if we continue to show up the SAME way, we are going to get the SAME result.... You see, we tend to repeat what is familiar. We repeat what we learned in childhood. We repeat what was traumatizing in order to gain some mastery over it. We often think or believe we are doomed or supposed to suffer this way. In its essence...we repeat what we do not repair. Does this sound a bit like you? If so, I am here to tell you that you can absolutely change your relationship attachment and experiencing more satisfying relationships. I am not here to tell you this is easy or happens at the flick of a switch. It is a conscious, subtle and often challenging process. But I am here to support that. I support my male clients to create greater awareness of themselves. I support my male clients to define healthy boundaries. I support my male clients to get clear on what they want, and I support you to build a plan around this. I challenge you to ask yourself... 1) What does your life in 5 years look like if you dont change a thing? 2) What does it look like if you make just a few positive changes in your understanding of self and relationships? If you are excited by the second question, Id love to chat with you. Send me a DM or drop a comment below for a private conversation. You either change and grow, or you don.t K xx The talented @vidavaleria Vancouver, B.C. See more

This weeks podcast out now! Episode 22: 10 Signs Youre Emotionally Unavailable https://open.spotify.com/show/1Ls7jcsc1hOFnoU3FXyWng... You can find the link for SoundCloud and iTunes here as well: iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com//the-self-confiden/id1508166181 SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/kimberly-hill-667091376

Men, drop a if you agree! K xx

Sometimes our thoughts can help us, and sometimes they can hinder us. Remember you can question your thoughts, they are not reality. K xx

Are you overthinking relationships? Is this causing you anxiety and overwhelm? When we overthink, it can become mentally exhausting and makes us feel like we are stuck in one place. Then, we often avoid action. (Now, we are actually stuck!)... And things like rumination can make you more susceptible to depression. So youre in a perpetual cycle. But the good news is we can change this and we can build our confidence to get moving again. Awareness is the beginning of that change. And often a perspective change is what is needed. So if we stop waiting for perfection, and work out small steps we can take....then in 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months and 2 years, we have a major change within ourselves and our lives and our relationships. I am looking for 2 men who want to invest in themselves and their future relationships. I am looking for 2 men that want to get clear on what they want, upgrade their knowledge on healthy relationships and start feeling more worthy, confident and satisfied. Drop me a comment or a DM to learn about what 8-week of working together will look like. You are the biggest project youll ever work on. Make time for yourself. K xx The talented @vidavaleria Vancouver, B.C. See more

When I think about any past relationship (friends or intimate), I always wonder how I could have shown up better, or communicated more clearly. Sometimes I get a little down because I have high expectations of myself. I believe many of us try to dissect the past and search for where we could have improved.... And some of this reflection is needed and is healthy for us. But too much can be damaging. So where are you sitting in this fine line? Do you take your past lessons and grow from them, developing healthy confidence? Or do you dwell and beat yourself up because you "should have", "could have" or "wished" you were better? Are you finding that you worry and overanalyze things? Does this lead you to feel stressed, anxious and shitty about yourself? It can sometimes be hard to stop over analyzing things, especially if you suffer from stress and anxiety. But there is good news... There are many things we can do to overcome this and to take some of the healthy reflection, but also develop self-compassion and reduce our stressors. Because the ultimate goal is to become a better version of ourselves, each day. Little by little. It is about moving forward, versus moving backwards. And if you spend all your time in the past, how can you move forward? I help my male clients to move towards their goals. And no, we dont ignore the past, but we explore it with kindness, and we take the lessons to propel ourselves forward. Because the goal of my clients is to become more confident, more healthy, more assertive and more loving. The goal of my clients is to improve their relationships. And this is the outcome we get. So, what are your personal and relational goals? Curious to work towards them with a professional? I invite you to send me a DM for a complimentary conversation. K xx The talented @vidavaleria Vancouver, B.C. See more

Hey, All - Have 10-15 min? Episode 21 Out Today - "Emotions Are Not The Problem." You can find it on Spotify, SoundCloud and iTunes.... Get the link here: https://linktr.ee/kimberlyninahill #thescproject #menscoach #lifecoaching #relationshipcoaching #podcasts

Brene Brown describes shame as "the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging." And this is simply untrue. We all deserve love.... K xx See more

And from this point forward, I ask the same of you! K xx

Men, when was the last time you FELT OK asking for what you need? Asking for what we need makes us feel vulnerable. But many men dont do this because they fear two things: 1) Being Needy... 2) Being Rejected And often when our needs are not being met, we instead develop what is called protest behaviour. Some of us can act in manipulative ways to get our needs met, or we hide our true selves and begin laying brick upon brick on our "resentment" tower. This means, over time, we start to look at our partners differently. But heres the thing. Your needs are not going away. And if you cannot communicate them in THIS relationship, what are the chances you can do this in the next one? We all have different emotional blueprints and attachment styles. And we can learn to understand what our needs are and learn the best ways to communicate this. Because by doing this...you are giving yourself and your relationship the best chance of HEALTHY success. Asking for what you need is NOT needy, its called self-respect. So send me a DM for a conversation on this topic. We can talk about what it would be like to work together and what you might be able to achieve in 8-weeks of private coaching. K xx The talented @vidavaleria Vancouver, B.C. See more

Thank you, Brian! Its been a pleasure working with you for 8-weeks!

Sometimes letting go of all that worry, even for a brief moment in time, can be enlightening... Take this moment for a mini 2-minute meditation and breathe. K xx

Being passive means youre not standing up for yourself... K xx

Beautifully said. K xx

Many of us spend a great deal of energy rationalizing why we arent handsome, good enough or the right person for the job. What would happen if you transferred that energy to believing you were? K xx

Thank you to everyone for over 800-page likes! Thank you to everyone for over 800-page likes!

Men, do you struggle with being taken advantage of in your relationships? Or at least does it feel that way? The biggest and most reoccurring theme I see with the men that I work with is this - assertiveness. There is a very big space between being a pushover (i.e. Nice Guy) and being aggressive. ... Men are told they are either too nice or too aggressive. So...how do you be nice without being a pushover? Or How do you be assertive without being aggressive? This is what I coach many men on. Learning the language, the energy and the ways to identify what you need and how to communicate this. Remember, that being assertive is not about thrusting your will on somebody, it is about standing up for your rights while being sensitive to the rights and opinions of others. And this can be challenging. But it is hugely important. And the earlier you do this in your relationship, the easier. So if youre not doing this, my question is, why not? So let me ask you... Are you finding that youre doing SO much for the other person and still falling short at the end of the day? Are you feeling depleted of energy? Do you consciously avoid conflict? How do you show up in relationships when you need something? Or want something? Do you communicate it, or compartmentalize it? I am looking for two men to enroll in my private coaching program, starting in September. It all starts with a complimentary conversation to see if working together is right for you. I invite you to send me a DM for a conversation. K x The talented @vidavaleria Vancouver, B.C. See more

Thank you, Richard, for another wonderful client testimonial.

We may not be able to delete memories or events that happened to us, but we can learn to heal and grow from them. We can take the lessons, and become stronger. K xx

Amen to this. K xx

Men, how do you show up in relationships? Are you the shy and quiet type? Are you the over-giver?... Are you a little bit needy? Do you lean out and avoid when things get hard or a little too comfortable? How do you show yourself in relationships? Do you feel balanced? Do you feel useful and respected? Many of the men I speak with are understanding how they show up in relationships. They are understanding how they present themselves to the world. They are understanding what they attract. They are learning how to show up better for themselves. Because they want to improve. They want to do better. They want to be useful. They want to experience great love. And then want to know which of their behaviours might stop this from happening. And this is the work we do. We seek to understand, to partner together and to create a more desirable outcome. Thats why the clients I work with are experiencing happier relationships, better dates and improved self-esteem. And some of them are finding loving and meaningful relationships because they are opening themselves up to this. If youre curious about what working with a coach would be like, lets get onto a phone call. Everyones results are different, but they are all positive. I invite you to send me a DM for a conversation and we can see if working together is right for you. K xx See more

This is why I see the value of coaching. We can do a very good job of solving our own problems, however, there is always that one layer, that one portion that we can never see. It takes a fresh perspective, a new voice, a changed dialogue. K xx

We do not get to know ourselves better simply by getting older. Understanding ourselves is a conscious CHOICE to follow the clues, instead of ignoring them. Ignorance is not bliss. K xx

Make sure to take care of you. You can only give to others when your cup is full. Heres your reminder to take care of yourself. K xx

The three Ss of relationships. Do you have all of these? If not, which is missing for you?... K xx See more

The only person you should ever compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. But the sad truth is many of us fail to remember this important lesson. We often compare ourselves to others and compare our relationships to other relationships.... And this causes us to feel inadequate, sometimes even depressed. But the good news is that we can improve our relationship mindset. We can learn to understand our own needs... We can learn to understand our own boundaries... We can learn to create desirable relationships... We get clarity on what we want... We can improve our self-worth... And we can reduce conflict and improve communication... But we can only do these things if we are willing to look at our truths and our current inadequacies. This is not viewing ourselves with a negative lens, this is viewing ourselves with a truthful lense. Because taking stock of where we are TODAY, and then planning out how to improve on this is the only way we get better, develop self-worth and experience satisfying relationships. Otherwise, what are you doing to change your current situation? This is the work I do with my clients. And in 8 weeks, we create massive changes. Are you ready to face your truth? Or at least explore what this might look like? Send me a DM for a complimentary conversation. K xx See more

The best revenge is self-improvement and moving forwards, not looking backwards... K xx

Effort is what is required. We cannot always have a perfect understanding, but the question is, are you willing to try? K xx

Yes, there is a healthy ego and a level of self-admiration that is required for us to be healthy, happy human beings. Go ahead and celebrate your positive qualities... K xx

Men, are you tired of your insecurities preventing you from having great love? Are you aware that how you feel about yourself reflects on your external world? And what would your loving relationships look like if you could feel 10% better about yourself?... How about if you could increase that by 15%? What would 50% do for you? My guess is things would improve... My guess is relationships would feel more comfortable... My guess if you would ALLOW more love into your life... My guess is you would FEEL more love. And what does that look like? . . . This is ultimately what I want for you. I work with men because MEN deserve love. I work with men because men deserve support. I work with men because there is a lack of females supporting men. I choose this line of work because of the impact of coaching on the emotional lives of men. I love what I do, and I RESPECT the work my clients put in. Ladies, did you know there are MANY men out there trying to improve themselves so they can SHOW up for you in move loving, passionate and beautiful ways? It brings a tear to my eye because I am so grateful we are starting to see a small erosion in the negative societal programming men have dealt with. So if you are wanting to improve yourself, your relationships, your clarity, your ability to love... lets have a conversation. I have worked with men across Europe, Australia, APAC, USA and Canada this year alone. I have two spots opening up in late August/September for my tailored 8-week private coaching program. If youre interested or want to simply learn more about how working together can make a difference, send me a DM. K xx See more

Yup, heres the truth. Passion doesnt simply expire with time, it is a conscious choice to let it expire. Do you want more passion in your relationship? Choose it. K xx

This is true power. When we can act in healthy ways, despite our fears. What lies on the other side of the bridge? K xx