Svetlana Antonyshyn, RP. Psychotherapy & Relationship Counselling

You want to know how therapy works? This is what happens. First, life doesn't work. You try to do your best to manage it, but it's not working... You may suffe...r from all kinds of things: uncontrollable anger, fear, panic attacks, toxic relationships, all kinds of drama in relationships, depression, emptiness, and life void of meaning.. You reach out. Therapy begins with working with denial. You think you know what the problem is, but it is rarely the case.. your existing problem often is a just symptom of an issue you don't want to face.. For example, you might think you have anger management problem, but anger is just a cover up for a deep seated shame, or fear of vulnerability, or fear to face that you are in a wrong marriage or in a wrong career... And so it starts: the dance between therapy pushing you towards your real fear, and your defense system controlling the pace, preventing you to face your real pain. Good therapists respect that pace and show compassion and non-judgmental regard towards your defenses, understanding that those defenses worked at some point and understanding that the defenses need to develop trust in the process...Also good therapists gently push towards more vulnerable places, meeting those vulnerable parts with compassion and providing alternatives to the shame, guilt, fear or any other difficult emotion. Once one vulnerability was dealt with in a non-judgmental, compassionate manner, therapy becomes easier - you are meeting your deep seated issues more readily, thus developing confidence. Confidence is not a feeling, confidence comes from practice. Eventually you have enough practice in dealing with painful and difficult emotions and cognitions, you begin to develop faith and trust in yourself and your ability to deal with what life brings. You learn to relate to your feelings and desires in a healthier way, you develop courage to face whatever emotions and thoughts may rise. Your inner dialogue becomes encouraging, supportive. You learn to let go of critical, demeaning voices in your head, and old conditioning loses its grip on you. You become independent in your thinking. You become compassionate towards our inner child. You See more

Maintaining healthy boundaries helps to increase self esteem, confidence and overall mental health. Also, harmonious relationships are not possible without boun...daries. Not knowing where you end and where another person begins, contributes to confusion, power struggles, codependency and other pain in relationships. There is no quick fix here. Some tips on how to create healthy boundaries: 1. Make it obvious: write down where and when you don't have healthy boundary. Pay attention to your anger. Anger shows up when our lines (boundaries) are crossed. Anger will help to identify unhealthy boundaries. 2. Write a letter to yourself encouraging change, addressing all the fears around these changes. 3. Make a list of personal rights, i.e. boundaries and keep it where you can see it often. 4. Periodically answer the question "Who Am I?" in your journal. 5. Look for opportunities to practice saying "No". #boundaries #selfcare #healthyrelationships See more