Amanda O'Reilly

Ever done this? You text someone and they don't text you back or you're out for lunch with someone and all of a sudden their mood changes and you make their behavior mean something negative about you? I know I sure have. ... When we’re not standing firmly grounded in our worth, and anchored in our truth our insecurities pop up, and automatically think we’re to blame for someone else's mood, behavior etc ... We start going through our mental Rolodex thinking we must have done something wrong, and then we start shit shaming ourselves and make the other person more important than us. Then, we put them on a pedestal. Above us. The problem with this is that in order to have balance or connection, someone needs to fall, not to mention we're also sending ourselves the message that we're not good enough for them. This is a trauma response, learned behavior from childhood where our needs weren't fully met and we had to diffuse conflict to feel more secure in our relationships and earn the approval of others. We aren't sure why we feel "off" when someone's mood shifts, or our environment shifts - but we feel unsafe. In order to gain safety we placate, we people please to create safety in our connections. We must get to the root of it in order to excavate the pattern at play, because that's all it is, a pattern. Our perception of self is distorted. We aren't seeing ourselves clearly, we make other people's stuff ours, which leads to disconnection from our own internal experience, not to mention our energy gets wasted trying to organize other people. Ah hello, no wonder why you feel exhausted?! Something even more interesting ... many even use other people's bad behavior to reinforce the pattern and the narrative that they mustn't be enough so it gives them a pass to stay stuck, small, or in the drama. We need to appreciate the survival strategies that got us here, but it's time to let them go so you can have authentic, balanced, unconditionally loving + supportive relationships + let the anchored feminine get back into the driver's seat. What do you say? Isn't it time to stop looking for excuses in order to feel bad about yourself?

Healing the sisterhood wound has been a journey. This wound runs deep for me as I've had women betray me more times than I am even comfortable recounting. We don't talk about it do we? The feminine is rising,+ awakening right now + many feminine wounds are surfacing to be healed.... For yrs, women have been taught to not trust each other. Learning to survive in a patriarchal world, we learned to turn against each other, compete, compare + step on each other to get the top, bc there were fewer spots up there. Society has taught us to turn against each other, betray each other, + obsess on appearance, weight, followers + it's taking it's toll. It's ENOUGH! Can you imagine what the world would look like if we stopped judging + gossiping about each other + started working together + authentically supporting each other? I want a world where we trust women. Where we support our sisters. Where we aren't judging her or holding back from being her biggest cheerleader because we think her rise means we're failing. No one needs to fall in order for another to rise. The most potent cure for self-sabotage is sisterhood. To-get-HER we rise. It's time to get our little girls up off the floor ( heal our own inner child ) help heal the collective and end this cycle of competition + separateness. See another sister's success as your success, as she's showing you what's possible for you too. Her beauty is a reflection of YOUR beauty. Her light is a mirror of YOUR own. We are all reflections of each other. I feel so hard for the younger generation right now, experiencing their own fears, their parent's fears, isolation, judgment, rejection + not being included in certain "bubbles" Their self-worth, their lack of self-love + all their insecurities are rising to the surface to be healed. So this giveaway is for them cause I feel they need a little extra love + a reminder. If I could go back to my younger self, I would tell her to fall in love w/herself. I wld remind her that others opinions are just that, opinions. If they’re mean imagine what they must be feeling yo be protecting that hurt into others? Who do you want to win this special arm party? em @ Ottawa, Ontario

What causes you to feel your most magnetic + best self? What inspires confidence in you? What causes you to be your BEST self ON purpose? ... Wouldn't it be amazing to know how to feel the way you actually want to feel, on-demand? This is something I was talking with a gorgeous client about this morning. The key is FEELING, meaning its in your body. When you feel something, that's how you know, because you can feel it, it's in your body, you feeeeeelllll it - it's not a concept, you have a feeling of confidence, patience, safety, aliveness, energy, generosity, feeling of clarity, abundance, gratitude. All feelings. Which means that it's located somewhere in your body. The feelings are either big or small. So you could have a tiny bit of patience, or an overflow of it. The key here is figuring out what you want to FEEL more of, what gives you the feeling that your after. Then, it’s about embodiment. Getting it into your body. What can you do to give yourself more confidence, energy, patience, whatever it is you're desiring more? What sparks joy or the feeling you want to experience more of, then DO that! If you want it, you can will it by installing those behaviors and qualities, then once it's part of who you are, your identity, it's then a part of what makes you you. You no longer need to decide to be, or will it, you just are. Naturally. No more outbursts, or arguments or feeling that others are taking what you don't have to give because you will be in overflow, abundant, and you'll be able to be generous because you'll have ample to give. Recognize right now where you have an overflow, and where you don't, that’s where you're self-sacrificing which leads to us giving what we don't have, and then leads to resentment. Take inventory of where you're lacking the qualities that you want to embody, and allow yourself to be present for the things that cause you to be that best version of you. What do you need to happen in order for you to be XZY? It IS about being full of SELF and it isn’t not selfish, it's necessary in order for you to BE the best version of you. I mean what else should you be full of if not self?

Finding yourself is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten-dollar bill that got lost in last winter’s coat pocket. You also aren’t lost.... Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are today. ‘Finding yourself’ is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering of who you were before the world got its hands on you. It’s really time to stop shrinking to fit into places you've outgrown! This is a season of BEing yourself. The question remains are you willing to disappoint another in order to be true to you? Great way to do that is imagine who you will be if you do step into that version of you, and imagine who you will be if you don’t? Remember should is shit. So is wish, can’t, don’t. So tell me what’s one thing you’re gonna do for yourself this weekend to step into the extra-ordinary, amazing, awesome, expansive, free version of you?!