Transitions Life Coaching
2295 Kirkburn Drive L7P 4E9 Burlington, ON, Canada

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to connect with you in this crazy year we've all had! However you celebrate the holidays, these are the gifts I wish for you; *Time to simplify and enjoy the moment... *Remembering loved ones *Gratitude *Finding a magical moment *Peace in your heart *Love To my clients, thank you for your trust and confidence in me. You have been my greatest gift! Happy holidays and may the upcoming year be filled with limitless possibilities for us all Photo credit: Three Crowns Studio

This time of year can stimulate and provoke memories and feelings about people in our lives who are no longer present at our holiday celebrations because of death, divorce or other estrangements. Here are five holiday tips to give you some practical, and emotionally helpful guidance as you navigate the holiday season. *DON'T ISOLATE YOURSELF... It’s normal and natural to feel lost and alone. Honour when you need space but allow yourself to be with people, and participate in activities. *TALK TO A TRUSTED FRIEND It’s important to have someone you trust to talk to about your memories and the feelings you have. Ask your friend to just listen to you and not try to "fix" anything. You’re sad, not broken, you just need to be heard. *DON'T MISUSE FOOD OR ALCOHOL TO COVER UP OR PUSH DOWN YOUR FEELINGS As children, when we were sad about something, we were often told, Don’t feel bad. Here have a cookie, you’ll feel better. The cookie didn't make us feel better, it just distracted us, and the real cause of the sadness wasn't addressed. When we get older, alcohol and drugs are used for the same wrong reasonsto mask feelings of sadness. *DON'T GET TOO BUSY - AVOID HYPERACTIVITY Be careful not to get too busy. Being super active just distracts you, it doesn’t really help you deal with your broken heart. *MAINTAIN NORMAL ROUTINES Adapting to the changes in your life following a death or a divorce is an enormous adjustment. You are learning how to move from being with someone to being alone. It’s never a good idea to add a host of other changes while you’re trying to adapt to so much disruption in your life Be aware that your feelings and emotions might show up differently from year-to-year. You may feel grief and loss because of how you wanted the holidays to be versus how you are actually experiencing them, especially in this year of Covid. Know that it can be hard, and however you are feeling is okay.

With the holidays fast approaching, we constantly see images of happy families together sharing the joy of the season. But this has been a year unlike any other. Many people have experienced significant emotional loss, change, and transition. The thought of celebrating may fill you with anxiety or sadness. Here are a few ideas that may help you face the some of those things you might find challenging.... 1. BE PREPARED Before plans and expectations sneak up on you, be honest about what you can and can't do this year. Some things may feel too hard. Decide what is best for you and gently decline plans that are too stressful. 2. TALK WITH OTHERS Talk frankly with your family and friends. Tell them what is making you anxious, and explain that you may have some sad emotional moments, but that is just the way it is this year. 3. LET OTHERS HELP YOU It can be hard to let go and at the same time, physically and emotionally exhausting to do everything you have done in the past. Choose the things that you want to do and ask others to help with specific tasks. Let someone else bake or clean up. Remember, you friends and family love you and they want to help! 4. HONOUR A LOVED ONE There are so many ways to do this and they are as individual as you are. Light a candle. Make their favourite dessert. Use decorations that remind you of your loved one. Donate to a favourite charity in their name. Plant a tree. Invite everyone to share a favourite memory. 5. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF & OTHERS Taking the lead and being honest about how you feel, makes it safe for others to be honest as well. There is no right or wrong way to get through holidays. The key is to take care of yourself! Please know it's possible to take meaningful action to move through the emotional pain of loss and make the next special day on the calendar something that can be better enjoyed. Kirsten Frey Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist www.tlclifecoaching.com

In the face of loss, many men still feel the need to be self-contained, stoic and to express little or no outward emotion. As a society we are getting better at encouraging men to openly express their feelings, but in practice few do so. The messaging from early childhood all through the adult years is deeply ingrained: "Big boys don't cry" "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" "Man Up!"... Masculinity is equated with striving, moving and activity. Many men experiencing a loss will throw themselves into their work in an attempt to distract themselves from their painful feelings. Offer your friend both activity and time for reflection. Ask him to shoot hoops, play golf, or go for a hike. Let him know that you really want to hear how he's doing, how he's feeling. Be a safe space for him. Tell him you'd like to help. Offer to listen whenever he wants to talk. Don't worry about what you'll say. You don't need to "fix" anything, because the reality is, you can't. Just listen to the words he shares with you. Let him know that in your presence at least, it's okay for him to express whatever feelings he might have-sadness, anger, guilt, fear. It's okay for men to feel and express rage, to be more cognitive or analytical about the death, to not cry. All of these typically masculine responses to grief may help your friend heal; there is no one "right" way to grieve. Let him know that around you, he doesn't have to be strong because you will offer support without judgment. "Helping a friend in grief is a difficult task. Helping a man in grief can be especially difficult, very few friends follow through on their desire to help. I encourage you to stand by your friend during this painful time. Your ongoing presence, patience and support will help him more than you will ever know." (Alan D. Wolfelt - Ph.D) www.tlclifecoaching.com

If you are a man, love a man, or are raising a man, tune in on Friday!!

Thank you. #RemembranceDay #veterans #thankyouforyourservice #grateful

Many of us grew up learning that we are not supposed to talk about sad, negative, or painful emotions. We hear things like; "Don't feel bad, here's a cookie." "If you're going to cry, go to your room." "There's plenty of fish in the sea."... "Stay busy and keep your mind off it." So we develop the habit of bottling up our feelings because that's what we've been taught to do. The pressure from all that emotional energy builds up and we automatically seek relief. We do this in a variety of ways; *Food *Alcohol/Drugs *Fantasy (Gaming, Movies, Netflix, Books) *Anger *Exercise *Sex *Isolation *Shopping *Work Most of these actions aren't harmful in and of themselves. They become harmful when you engage in them for the wrong reasons. When we use them as a distraction from the real, HUMAN emotions we have. But here's the thing...you can't selectively numb emotion. If you are numbing yourself to disappointment, grief, frustration, and resentment, you are also blocking the way to joy, peace, fulfillment, and enthusiasm...limiting your capacity for a healthy and happy life! Are you tired of the unresolved emotions that are weighing you down? Would you like to start the New Year discovering the tools for long-term relief? I'm here and ready to guide and support you. Kirsten Frey Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist kirsten@tlclifecoaching www.tlclifecoaching.com

First responders are the helpers. They are the ones we call in times of crisison the worst day of our lives. And they are proud of the work they do. I know this and can say it because I proudly served as a police officer for 18 years, alongside firefighters, ambulance personnel, and nurses. These folks are our front line, and their jobs cause them to be repeatedly exposed to death, grief, injury, pain, and loss. They experience threats to their personal safety, long work h...ours, frequent shift changes, and poor sleep. All of this leaves them at a higher risk of stress, fatigue, grief, and burnout along with the possibility of developing depression, anxiety, or PTSD. Being strong for others is what they do. They’ve learned to suppress or bury vulnerable feelings in the moment so that they can do their jobs. In addition, they experience the same personal difficulties you and I do. As human beings we need to to express our normal and natural feelings as soon as we feel safe to do so. With someone we trust. And helpers have a hard time asking for help. I did. Because being the one that others come to is their familiar way of being. To show vulnerability can feel like weakness, or a loss of credibility. But the price we pay in unexpressed emotions is the heavy burden of grief. With 26 years of combined experience as a police officer and holistic practitioner, I have seen the negative impact that grief can have on our work, our relationships, and our health when it isn't recognized and honoured. This is why I use The Grief Recovery Method. An evidence-based program that provides the effective tools to help you move through a significant emotional loss of any kind in a safe and confidential space. *First Responders Rate available to current and retired members*

I wanted to begin a new week with this important reminder... Thank you for being uniquely YOU! The way you show up in your life...at work, at home, with family and friends. Who you are, what you do, and how you do it, is SO important and necessary.... So, go into this week brave. Embrace every experience. Welcome opportunities. Connect with your heart, not just your mind. Take care of yourself too! BREATHE. Remember the pause. Ask for help, if you need it. I'm here if you need me. Kirsten

Here's a fun challenge for you this week... Before you open your eyes and get out of bed each morning this week, ask yourself this question; "What Is The Greatest Expression of Myself I Can Be Today?" See yourself in your mind's eye being the highest version of yourself. Who are you BEING? How are you thinking and speaking, and what are you doing?... Our conscious mind is powerful because of; 1. It's ability to direct our focus 2. It's ability to imagine that which is not real What's neat about this is that our subconscious mind can't distinguish between what's imagined and what's real, so whatever is brought up by our conscious mind and intently focused on, also brings up all the emotions and feelings associated with that image in our mind. Continuously being in charge of your thoughts through directed focus and visualization, you can influence what programs your subconscious mind runs. Do this often enough, and with enough FEELING, and you can begin to reprogram your subconscious belief system! And when that happens, you will BE the greatest expression of yourself www.tlclifecoaching.com

Heal Yourself First . When I was a personal trainer and holistic nutritionist, and my clients met and exceeded their goals, they would be SO lit up and excited that they would try to convince everyone they knew that they should do the same . Maybe you know that feeling...when you’ve created such a positive change in your life and just want to share it, so EVERYONE you care about can have that same feeling!... . How did that go? . Trying to help others heal in an effort to help ‘fix’ them, almost always pushes them away. This is true for our children, spouses, parents, or friends. It’s a thin line between being supportive, and putting expectations on someone, wanting them to change . People choose to change and heal in their own time. . As a life coach and certified grief recovery specialist, I don’t create the motivation, choice, or commitment for the people I work with . They do . What I do is give my focused attention into supporting and guiding the deep healing work they do with compassion and respect . And I am able to do that because I have done the work myself...and continue to do so . When we make the choice to heal ourselves we stand as an example for what is possible for others . www.tlclifecoaching.com #healyourselffirst #makethechoice #letgo #possibilities #freedom #peace #support #livefree #love #openheart #griefcoach #lifecoach #tlclifecoaching

We Can't Move Freely Forward While Holding Onto The Emotions From The Past. Unresolved grief is about all the unmet hopes, dreams, and expectations we had for a relationship or experience. The things we wish we had said or done differently, in a better way, or more often.... The plans we had for the future. Being able to say goodbye to those unmet hopes, dreams, and expectations, while holding onto the fond memories, can help you resolve what is emotionally incomplete for you from a loss of any kind. It's important to honour your grief, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Using a simple, evidence-based 4-step process you will discover what is incomplete for you and how to release those feelings so they no longer continue to cause lasting emotional pain. The beauty of this approach is that it gives you the effective tools to reclaim peace in a safe space where you can share your story without judgement . Grief. We can't go around it, or 'get over it'. We must go through it to get to the other side When you're ready to heal and want to cross that bridge, I am here with compassionate support. Kirsten Frey Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist Kirsten@tlclifecoaching

Numerous studies over the past few decades have shown that bottling up your emotions can, and does, affect your body and your mind. Suppressing our emotions (anger, sadness, grief or frustration) can lead to physical stress on the body. Even if the core emotion is is different, the effect is the same. Short term, it can affect blood pressure, memory, and self-esteem. Long term, it can lead to problems with aggression, anxiety, depression, and can increase our chance of prem...ature death, from all causes, by 30%. Emotional expression is good for your emotional and mental health! Putting feelings into words releases hormones that have therapeutic effects on the brain, meaning that verbalizing your emotions can actually make them seem less intense. Emotional pain can cause internal pressure to build, and venting helps us find release for all that pent-up emotional energy. The very word 'E-Motion' is energy in motion. Our emotions are meant to flow through us, not to be stored inside us. It is a normal human impulse to share when something wonderful happens to us and also when something terrible happens. Sharing our emotions helps us connect with others and receive support and reassurance when we need it the most. Being listened to by others, and having them share their experiences with you in return is a wonderful way to validate your place in the world and know that your thoughts and feelings are important. As an Advanced CGRMS it's my privilege to be a trusted space for people. To help them relieve painful emotions so they can move forward, lighter and at peace. Are you ready to let go of what's heavy for you? Let's chat! [email protected] www.tlclifecoaching.com

It takes courage to acknowledge our painful feelings...to ourselves, and others. The truth is, most of us never had an adult sit down with when we were kids and explain HOW to deal with the normal emotional pain that we all experience as a part of life. If fact, most of us learned to suppress our naturally occurring feelings in an effort to 'please' others, or to avoid the perception that we would be burdening others by honestly expressing our emotions.... It's true, not everyone deserves to hear our story, but we all need someone who can hold that space for us. It takes courage to be vulnerable. But when we can...with someone we trust...the feeling of relief and peace is freeing!

It is possible to move from grief to peace. Let me show you how.

October 10th is World Mental Health Day 1 in 4 people experience a mental health challenge every year. Join me in the WHO #MoveForMentalHealth challenge and share a video showing how you support your own mental well-being... Holidays can be a tough time. If someone’s on your mind, check in with them

Last week I was honoured to be interviewed by Elisha Galambos , founder of EAG Innovation. EAG Innovation is a place where the world of education, art, and mental health for families meets through programming, events and workshops. With our children going back to school this week, it's good to know there is additional help and support if we need it. To help children and their families transition and cope through this uncertain time, EAG Innovation is offering complimentary C...ognitive Behavioural Therapy Sampler sessions. https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/free-cognitive-behavioural-ther

It was a privilege to be interviewed today by Elisha Galambos from EAG Innovation. EAG Innovation uses creativity and an innovative curriculum to educate families about mental health. Grief and Mental Health. Two topics that benefit from more open and honest discussion!... https://www.facebook.com/eaginnovation/videos/2706045249714862/

Do you see obstacles as a threat, a puzzle to solve, or an opportunity to grow? Your perception of the obstacles you face, makes a difference. Overcoming obstacles is a normal part of the process to achieving our goals. Sometimes we are able to overcome the obstacles we face and sometimes we can't. Staying open to alternatives and possibilities is important when we come up against what's in our way. Accept that you're going to feel some emotions when you're challenged by an o...bstacle. This is normal! Acknowledge those emotions..then take a step back, BREATHE, allow them to subside and ask yourself; "Is there something I can learn from this experience?" Practice Acceptance. There are obstacles on the path to every goal. Expect and accept them as a natural part of achieving what you desire. Be Flexible. A flexible mind is the key to new ideas and solutions. Knowing what doesn't work is valuable information and allows you to consider alternatives that might. Be Willing to Ask for Help Brainstorming with others and asking for feedback can help you hurdle the obstacle. They may have access to information or resources you don't. They will have a different perception and may see solutions you haven't considered. Set Small Goals Obstacles can feel challenging and overwhelming. Break down what you need to do to overcome them into small steps. Then focus on one step at a time. Remember this saying; "Yard by yard, it's hard. Inch by inch, it's a cinch!" Celebrate! Acknowledge your accomplishments and celebrate your wins. This helps you stay motivated and realize that you CAN do hard things. Enjoy your week...you've GOT THIS!

This came up as a memory from 3 years ago. It couldn’t be more true today! As we head into the weekend, let’s be mindful of taking care of ourselves and each other There has been more change to our familiar way of being, and the way we live our lives, in the last 6 months than any other time in this generation. And we are still in it. ... We ARE adaptable and resilient, but we need to remember that there is an emotional impact to all this change and uncertainty. If you are more irritated, frustrated, sad, angry, can’t sleep, drinking more, or spending significantly more time gaming or binge-watching Netflix lately, I want you to know that these are normal and natural reactions to all the change and uncertainty going on. This is GRIEF We are grieving the loss of all our hopes, dreams and expectations we had for this year. All the vacations, weddings, graduations, baby showers, funerals that didn’t happen, or were changed from how we normally experience them. Our work, school, and social activities have shifted, and continue to do so. People have lost their jobs, their relationships, and their lives. So let’s be compassionate to one another! Connect with someone in your circle this weekend and ask how they are feeling. You don’t need to fix anything, you only need to listen with an open heart. Ask for help if YOU need it! Don’t say you’re fine if you’re not. Let someone hold space for you Kirsten Frey Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist [email protected] #pandemic #secondwave #change #loss #conflictingemotions #thisisgrief #normalnatural #compassion #listen #bekind #openheart #adaptingorhealing #griefcoach #lifecoach #tlclifecoaching

It's also a great day to tell someone that you appreciate them, respect them, admire them, or just feel really grateful for them. This doesn't have to mean only family. There are times when you feel a genuine connection with a friend, colleague, or neighbour. The feeling rises from within and the words form in your mind...and then you suddenly feel embarrassed. Or you're unsure how they will respond. Or you're in a rush. So you don't say anything.... With those close to us it's so easy to think, "they know how I feel about them." Can you remember when someone shared with you how much you meant to them? How did it feel? Pretty great, I bet! A genuine compliment, or heartfelt "I love you" has the ability to completely change someone's day. It may mean everything to the one who hears it. On a day they really need to hear it. As a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist I often hear people say they wished they told a loved one how much they loved them before it was too late. Or a friend how much they meant to them. Or a colleague how they have positively impacted them. Unresolved grief is almost always about things we wish we had said, or done differently, better, or more. Today is a great day to say what's in your heart If you need help to discover and complete what has been left emotionally incomplete for you by a death, divorce, or any other loss, I can help. Let's talk. #todayisagoodday #shareyourfeelings #love #gratitude #respect #saywhatsinyourheart #genuine #connection #weareallinthistogether2020 #noregrets #unresolvedgrief #griefrecoveryspecialist #griefcoach #lifecoach #tlclifecoaching

We transform many times throughout our lives. Sometimes by choice, sometimes by chance. You may find yourself moving through different phases: * The Resistance Phase * The Uncertainty Phase ... * The "A-HA!" Phase *The "Of Course" Phase Transformation feels unsettling, uncomfortable, and let's face it, even painful sometimes. It's not easy. WHY then, would you choose to experience the work of transformation over staying in your nice, happy comfort zone? Because change happens, whether we choose it or not. It's part of being human. We are meant to expand and evolve in our time on this planet. Choosing personal growth and intentional change brings a number of positive benefits; 1. Self-Awareness & Authenticity 2. Positive Progress 3. Vision & Purpose 4. Momentum 5. Resilience 6. Confidence 7. Mastering Your Mindset 8. Healthier Relationships 9. A Sense of Adventure & Fun 10. Personal Freedom, Peace & Happiness Remember, periods of rest are a vital part of the transformation process. We need time to integrate what we learn. Being in constant action and pushing ourselves incessantly creates burnout, not growth. CELEBRATE! Recognizing and celebrating your wins along the way reinforces the meaning behind all of your transformational work. People who take the time to reflect on and celebrate their wins are generally more optimistic, take better care of themselves, have better coping strategies, and tend to be less stressed. "Change is inevitable, but personal growth is a choice." (Bob Proctor) Allow yourself to transform as many times as you truly need to be free.

Reiki is a gentle, hands-on method of healing that promotes deep relaxation, reduces stress, increases mental clarity, and activates our body's own natural healing ability. It compliments other medical and therapeutic treatments, and may help speed up recovery time from illness or injury. Reiki is used all over the world, including in hospitals and hospices. The Cleveland Clinic offers Reiki as one of their Integrative & Lifestyle Medicine options. Reiki can help;... *Promote Deep Relaxation *Strengthen Immune Function *Relieve Stress & Anxiety *Promote Pain Relief *Ease Muscle Tension *Energize & Balance The Body Receiving Reiki is a wonderful experience! Lie comfortably and fully clothed on a massage table and allow yourself to relax and simply observe the sensations that shift naturally throughout your session. Every session is unique and you may feel different sensations at different sessions. Many clients fall into a meditative state, or sleep. Reiki will leave you feeling re-energized and re-vitalized. I create a safe, nurturing space so that you can access the best in yourself. Your well-being is always the priority. And to help you manage the busy-ness, uncertainty, and stress that September can bring, I am offering 1-hour Reiki sessions for $75 for the entire month. This is a savings of 25%! Book Your Self-Care Reiki Session Today, You Deserve It!

Has all the change and transition over the last 6 months made you feel like you’ve been riding an emotional roller coaster? You are definitely not alone! Join me TOMORROW night as we shine the light on what may be at root of your experience and how to navigate through it.

Nothing Makes Us Feel More Exposed & Vulnerable Than Grief. It cracks us wide open and raw, and we are often left with confusing and conflicting emotions. Our hurt needs to be heard before it can be healed.... In my 26 years of combined experience as a police officer and holistic practitioner, Ive seen the negative impact grief has on our lives when it goes unexpressed or unrecognized. Loss is Universal but Grief is Personal. Grief work has changed my life and this is why I am so passionate about teaching it! I use an evidence-based, educational program that provides the life-long tools we need to resolve an emotional loss of any kind. You are not alone You can feel better, let me show you how. www.tlclifecoaching.com #grief #loss #lonely #painneedstobeheard #emotionalnotlogical #nostagesofgrief #youarenotalone #griefsupport #griefrecovery #healing #freedom #actionsteps #tools #healyourheart #thegriefrecoverymethod #tlclifecoaching

Dear friends who are self-employed, run their own business, or want to support small businesses! Here's an opportunity to see the variety in our extended circles. Post a link to your website below without a description - just the link, it speaks for itself. Anyone who follows me can see it and visit your site. If you're of a mind to pay it forward, feel free to copy this text onto your own page and give others the chance to reach more people through your circle. Let's INSPIRE, MOTIVATE, and SUPPORT one another. Paying it forward from Whitney Hammond

Grief & Loss Are a Normal Part of Our Human Experience We ALL experience loss many times in our lives, and grief is the normal and natural reaction to those emotional losses. Yet most of what we learn about grief is not normal, natural, or even helpful!... There are several misconceptions around grief. I know how you feel is a common one. This is a well-meaning comment that people say when theyve experienced a loss similar to the one were going through. The truth is, we never truly know how someone else feels. Our relationships and experiences are unique to us. And when we lose that experience or relationship, our grief is also unique to us. For example, lets say you and I have both experienced the death of our mothers. You had a close, loving relationship with your Mom, and I had a less than loving relationship with mine. Similar loss, but our grieving experiences are completely different! This happens in families too. Each person has their own unique relationship with the one that has died so they will have their own expression of grief. Some people cry. Some dont. Some want to talk about the loss. Others need to process before they share with someone they trust. There is no right way to grieve and there is no time frame or stages of grief, contrary to popular opinion. Recovery from loss is achieved by a series of small, correct actions. Most people dont even know recovery is possible! You CAN feel better, let me show you how. www.tlclifecoaching.com #grief #loss #bereavement #uniqueexperience #grieveyourownway #norightway #notimeframe #nostagesofgrief #griefjourney #griefrecovery #trust #share #listen #actionsteps #tools #griefcoach #lifecoach #tlclifecoaching

Join us Tuesday night!

Unresolved grief is about all the unmet hopes, dreams, and expectations you had for a relationship. The plans you had for the future. Even in the best of relationships, we can be left with plans that never got to happen. And in negative, or less-than-loving relationships, a death or divorce can rob us of the possibility of repairing the relationship, preventing it from ever becoming positive. ... To be able to say goodbye to those unmet hopes, dreams and expectations can help you resolve what is emotionally incomplete for you from a loss of any kind. Discovering and saying what was left unsaid or undone so that it no longer limits you or affects your capacity for happiness. It’s important to honour your grief and I want you to know that you are not alone. Action, is the key to recovery. It’s never too soon or too late to heal your heart If you’d like to know more, let’s have a conversation. You can reach me at [email protected] #grief #loss #futureplans #hopes #dreams #expectations #itsoktosaygoodbye #releasethepain #toolsforyouremotionaltoolbox #support #compassion #healing #griefcoach #lifecoach #tlclifecoaching

Understanding Grief We expect to grieve when we experience the physical death of someone close to us, or the loss of our marriage through divorce. However, there are many more life experiences that can create feelings of grief, including job loss, a medical diagnosis, infertility, Empty Nest syndrome, and retirement, just to name a few. Any kind of loss that creates an emotional response can be considered grief. We also experience grief when we have conflicting feelings arou...nd the end of, or a change in, a familiar pattern of behaviour. Many folks experience this when a loved one has died after an illness. There is a feeling of relief that they are no longer suffering, but sadness that they are gone. Loss is a normal part of being human, and yet most of us have never been taught how to effectively move through these emotional experiences. We fall back to our logical mind to try and make sense of whats happening. But grief is emotional, not logical, so trying to use our mind to heal our heart is the wrong tool for the job! Visit www.tlclifecoaching.com to learn more AND for your complimentary The Six Myths of Grief E-Book #understandinggrief #loss #bereavement #sad #lonely #conflictingfeelings #confused #griefsupport #griefcoach #certifiedgriefrecoveryspecialist #tools #actionsteps #healyourheart #tlclifecoaching

These are 6 common misperceptions about grief that keep us from effectively healing after a significant emotional loss of any kind. And here are 6 replacements that can help us share in a healthier way! 1. "It's Ok to Feel Like That, It's Perfectly Normal." ... We don't want others to feel unhappy, so we encourage them to push sad or painful emotions away to focus on being positive and logical. Grief is emotional, not logical, and it is part of being HUMAN! It's important we allow ourselves to experience the full range of our human emotions. 2. Acknowledge Their Emotions Many of us grew up with our parents reinforcing the idea that if we replaced what we lost (our favourite toy or pet) that it would fix everything and we would feel better. We didn't feel better, just different. The truth is we can't "fix" a loss, and we need to be allowed to feel bad when our hearts are broken, and be heard without judgement or analysis. 3. "It's Safe to Talk" Grieving in isolation is a learned behaviour and a result of social conditioning. Our natural impulse when we receive good or bad news is the same, we want to tell people we trust! 4. "It's Ok to Show Your Emotions" Many people try to hide their feelings by "being strong". When we cover up our honest emotions, we are lying to ourselves and others. Real strength is communicating our feelings rather than burying them. 5. Take A Moment Keeping busy is a very common way to distract our mind from what's going on. We think the busier we are, the less we will feel the pain. It takes A LOT of energy to suppress our feelings and that can have a negative impact on our wellbeing. Allow time and space to be with the feelings. 6. You Need To Take Some Action To Get Through This. The false idea that time heals emotional wounds is a misunderstanding of the normal reaction to loss. As we adapt to the new and painful reality of the loss, we begin to function a little better. This gives the illusion that time has healed us, but all that's happened is we're adapting to the loss. It's the action we take within time that affects the quality of our lives. If you want to start your own healing journey, click the link and set up your discovery call today. www.tlclifecoaching.com

I am so grateful to have shared the day with 4 incredible ladies at todays Create Your Life Vision Board Workshop. Thank you Bev, Teri, Joanne, & Barbara for a day of connection, inspiration and the courage to live life aligned with your clear intentions. I am so excited for all of you!!

If you are aligned with children in any way...as a parent, teacher, or organization register for this pivotal summit coming soon!

When it comes to supporting someone experiencing loss, we're often afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Recently, I posted this questions, "What is the best thing anyone did for you in the days, weeks, and months after a loss?" The response was immediate and illuminating. While there is no "perfect" way to respond, here are some of the meaningful ways grievers found support in their loss

Listening to Someone Whos Grieving Its hard to know how to support someone whos grieving a loss. The best thing you can do is be a good listener. Often, grievers just want to be seen and heard during their emotionally difficult time, and being able to hold that space for them is an invaluable gift.... 1. Be Present. In our every day experience we can tell when someone isnt focused on our conversation. How does that make you feel? Now imagine a friend is going through an unimaginable loss and we are distracted. They may not want to share because they can tell we arent fully present, and this can increase their feelings of loneliness or isolation 2. Be Patient. Most of us find it difficult to share our feelings at the best of times. Grief takes time to process and everyone experiences it at their own pace. Contrary to what most people think, grief is not a series of stages, and there is no timetable 3. Take Your Cue From Them: Some take comfort in remembering their loved one and want to talk about them. Others may not be ready to talk about their loss. They may need more time to process and reach out to you when theyre ready. If youre not sure, ask. 4. Dont Compare Losses: I Know How You Feel is one of the most annoying/infuriating phrases grievers hear. The truth is we DONT know how someone else feels, even if weve experienced a similar loss Acknowledging that we dont know how a person feels and offering to listen and do our best to understand can help them feel more supported in their grief. www.tlclifecoaching.com

What was most helpful and least helpful in any loss experience youve had?

My Passion is Helping People BE the Best Version of Themselves . It doesnt matter what your past or your present looks like, if you are willing to change, then anything is possible. No matter what the circumstances, you can change your life. There is always a way. Know you CAN make the change you want. All you need is;... *Clarity *Intention *Action *Trust We live in a world that promotes distraction and playing small. The pandemic has fostered a lot of confusion and uncertainty. A clear intention allows you to move out of the confusion and powerfully create the life you really want to live. This month Im hosting a full day Create Your Life Vision Board Retreat. This day is designed to give you the time and space you need to map out the ideal outcomes in each area of your life. You dont have to bring a thing, Ill have everything you need, right in the room! Date: Sunday 16, August Time: 10am-5pm Fee: $125 - includes all supplies and lunch **Only 4 spaces left** To register or ask for more details; [email protected]

My client came to me because she was going through an extremely difficult divorce. Before our work together she realized she was holding onto a lot of anger and resentment and she didnt like how it made her feel. Like she was still giving up her power.... To move freely into the next chapter of her life she knew she had to resolve these uncomfortable feelings, but HOW? She chose to work with the Grief Recovery Method and now hear what she has to say; After the loss of my 30-year marriage, I turned to Kirsten for help in dealing with my conflicting emotions. I couldnt have chosen anyone better to guide me through the Grief Recovery Method process. Kirsten is insightful, intuitive, supportive and trustworthy. She made me feel comfortable right from the first session. I felt gently guided to dig deep within and let emotions come to the surface that I had worked hard to forget for a long time I urge you to consider this program...it frees you! You can put down the emotional baggage youve carried for so long. You will have the information and tools to deal with any new losses. You wont feel the need to bury your grief. You will be able to heal, find peace, and even happiness! Without Kirstens help I would not have been able to complete the program and free myself from the grief that had been there for YEARS. Thank you, Kirsten! (B.T - Waterdown) THIS is why I love what I do! Supporting people with the education and tools they need to heal from an emotional loss of any kind Learn more about The Grief Recovery Method by visiting www.tlclifecoaching.com #divorce #brokenheart #grief #loss #everythingchanges #emotionalhealth #youarenotalone #compassion #support #griefcoach #lifecoach #healing #emotionallycomplete #tlclifecoaching

Because Every Child Deserves to Live Well! Thrilled to be a participant in this groundbreaking 4-day online event! Over 25 hours of content from more than 40 experts on Child & Family Wellness ... 7 Content-rich themed segments including; Mental Health, Education, Play, Trauma, Mindfulness, Self-Esteem, Physical Health and Student Perspectives. 4 Videos just for Kids!

Ladies! Are you craving a little connection, laughter and inspiration? Tea Time with Andrea & Friends is a must see! Take a break and join Andrea Martin, Jenn Grachow and I this Thursday at 3pm right here on FaceBook for a fun and lively chat about life and business. ... Send in a question or concern you have in our areas of expertise and well answer it. See you there! https://facebook.com/events/s/teatime-with-andrea-friends/319303902435915/?ti=icl

They are BACK by popular demand Monday Mojo Breaks Uplift your week with a positive focus!... #MondayMojo #gratitude #postive #focus #energy #quotes #tips #tools #recommendations #ourexternalworldisamirrorforourinternalworld #youchoose #transformation #expansion #personalgrowth #enjoythejourney #tlclifecoaching

Starting my week with GRATITUDE! . Shared a superb day yesterday with @WhitneyHammond, @AlexisDuncan, @MandyAllen, @LanaYilmaz, and @TraceyMcKinney at the Create Your Life Vision Board Workshop. . We explored clarity, intention, and the power of the mind. We connected through conversation, shared stories, and laughter. We combined resources. AND we practiced aligning ourselves with our deepest truths and desires... . Thank you Ladies for joining me and sharing this fabulous day!! . Intrigued? . The next Create Your Life Vision Board Workshop is Sunday 9th August from 10am-5pm. To register or for more details contact [email protected] See more

Because we are thoughtful, loving, human beings we sometimes take on the experiences, feelings, or responsibilities of others. Especially those closest to us. Todays message is a gentle reminder that we can only take on what is ours to own. ... We cant take someones elses pain, or the learnings that come from their circumstances. What we can do is be willing to listen without judging, analyzing, or fixing.

We all have goals, dreams, and wonderful things we want to create and manifest in our lives. We get EXCITED! We get INSPIRED! And then life, aka COVID-19, kicks in... We get distracted. Busy. Trying to make sense out of all the uncertainty. One day merges into the next. We live more out of habit than intention There are so many things outside of us demanding our attention that we lose the connection to our inner wisdom, which simply wants us to feel a certain way. Clear. Focused. At Ease. At Peace. Powerful. Expanded. Inspired. Abundant. Free. Visualization is one of the most powerful mind exercises you can do and what you focus on, expands Join me on Sunday, July 26th from 10am-5pm for the Create Your Life Vision Board Workshop! This full day retreat was developed so you have the time, space, and coaching you need to reconnect to your internal wisdom. Tap into your unique intention with clarity, discover the key most folks miss, AND construct a tangible, powerful tool that can assist you in creating authentic outcomes, YES, even in this incredible year! Workshop fee is $125 and includes all supplies and lunch. Dont delay, only 2 spaces left! To register contact [email protected]

Im super excited for my FaceBook Live chat tomorrow morning with Whitney Hammond from Wallet to Wealth! Her Female Entrepreneur Speaker Series is offered every Monday at 10am. Grab a cup of coffee and join us!

There is no right way to heal after a loss. Thats why I, and other amazing speakers are sharing our stories and our knowledge on the topic to help you find an approach that works for you. When you register for this FREE virtual event Healing From Grief & Loss: Top Experts Guide You On Your Journey to Find Strength, Comfort, and Joy Again, hosted by Andrea Newman, you will hear a variety of speakers with their own experience to help guide you on your journey.... Register here: https://healing-from-grief-and-loss.heysummit.com/ . Once you register, youll see the whole schedule of all the speakers, so you can add it into your calendar! This free virtual event runs until July 5th. This afternoon at 5pm Andrea and I will be talking about UnMasking Grief. Youre not going to want to miss it! #grief #loss #transitions #change #norightwaytoheal #journey #virtualevent #free #comfort #experts #guidance #support #tips #tools #youarenotalone #healyourheart #lifecoach #certifiedgriefrecoveryspecialist #tlclifecoaching

After losing someone you love, life can be challenging Sometimes you wake up and immediately think of them and it hurts so much that you just want to stay in bed all day. Grief can affect so many of us in a number of ways and there is no correct way to navigate these emotions. If this sounds like you and you are looking to start your journey to find strength, comfort and joy again, then I have the perfect thing for you!... Healing From Grief and Loss: Top Experts Guide You On Your Journey To Find Strength, Comfort, and Joy Again, hosted by Andrea Milner is a FREE Virtual Event that may help you in that journey. All of the speakers share their experiences with loss and what helped get them to where they are now I hope to see you there Register here: https://healing-from-grief-and-loss.heysummit.com/ #freevirtualevent #grief #loss #life #healingjourney #comfort #guidance #support #experts #share #youarenotalone #tlclifecoaching

What Can You Say To Someone Who Is Grieving? Do you know someone who is grieving, but dont know what to say to him or her? Many of us feel this way... We want to be helpful and supportive, but weve never been taught how to talk with someone experiencing a significant emotional loss. We simply say what we observed our parents say growing up; or we share what has been said to us when our own hearts were broken When people dont know what to say to grievers, they often dont say anything at all. This leaves the person grieving feeling isolated and alone, when all they want, and need, is to be listened to without judgement, analysis, or criticism When grievers do build up the courage to share their emotions, sympathetic friends usually say, I know how you feel Unfortunately, this well-meaning phrase robs the person experiencing the loss of the opportunity to openly share their feelings Because the truth is, we dont know how they feel. We may have experienced a similar loss but their experience is unique to them . If you want to help someone whose heart is broken, two of the most helpful phrases to say are, What happened? or I cant imagine how you are feeling. Then listen to the reply. Let them talk openly and freely (if they choose) without sharing your own experiences, interrupting, or correcting them. This allows them to feel safe and heard which is invaluable . Would you like more information on how to talk to grievers? Message me and Ill be happy to send you a FREE Grief eBook filled with helpful tips . Do you have a question about grief & loss? Post it below or email me at [email protected] #grief #whattosay #bepresent #listen #heartwithears #dontcompare #emotionalsupport #letstalkaboutgrief #griefcoach #lifecoach #tlclifecoaching

Lets Talk About Grief and Loss Does this topic scare you or make you uncomfortable? Maybe you, or someone you know, is currently experiencing grief and looking for guidance on your journey to finding joy in life again. When Andrea asked me to bring my story to her summit, I said YES because this important topic needs to be brought into the open, discussed, and shared, especially during this time of Covid-19. Even if you have not experienced a loss of your own, you will learn... some tips on how to talk to somebody who is. Register Here: https://healing-from-grief-and-loss.heysummit.com/ Join me as I share my story in the FREE virtual summit Healing From Grief and Loss: Top Experts Guide You On Your Journey To Find Strength, Comfort, And Joy Again #grief #loss #virtualsummit #share #discussion #youarenotalone #guidance #tips #tools #resources #comfort #healingfromgriefandloss #findingpeace #certifiedgriefrecoveryspecialist #tlclifecoaching

Honoured to Be Featured on the Love & Loss Podcast! I cant tell you how much I enjoyed talking with Sheri Johnson https://www.facebook.com/Love-Loss-212350919591992/ In this podcast we have an open and honest conversation about miscarriage and grief. We discuss the six familiar myths that may be getting in the way of your healing. ... I share my personal story of loss and how I recovered from heartbreak. Ladies, if youve had a miscarriage, or any other type of loss, (or know someone who has) have a listen. Whether youve experienced infertility, infant loss, the loss of a parent, your marriage, your pet, or even the loss of your familiar way of being in this pandemic, the discussion applies. Its all loss. And it all matters To hear the podcast, click the link; sherijohnson.ca/16 or head over to iTunes or Spotify and search Love & Loss . If youd like to know more about The Grief Recovery Method book your discovery call at www.tlclifecoaching.com #miscarriage #infertility #infantloss #grief #support #healing #griefcoach #lifecoach #tlclifecoaching

Grief & Recovery Many of us have never seen these two words together before. Centuries ago, grief was often viewed as an opportunity for personal and spiritual development. In our modern world, especially in our western culture, moving through intense emotional pain has become such a misunderstood process that most of us dont know how to respond to loss.... So what do I mean by recovery? Recovery means feeling better. Recovery means claiming your circumstances instead of your circumstances claiming you and your happiness. Recovery is finding new meaning for living, without the fear of being hurt again. Recovery is being able to enjoy fond memories without the painful feelings of regret, resentment or remorse. Recovery is knowing that it is perfectly okay to feel sad from time to time and to talk about those feelings no matter how those around you react. Recovery is being able to forgive others when they say or do things that you know are based in their lack of understanding about grief. Recovery is one day realizing that your ability to talk about the loss youve experienced is indeed normal and healthy. Most importantly, recovery means learning the skills that we should have been taught in childhood...the skills that allow us to deal with loss directly. The tools of grief recovery allow us to complete what is emotionally incomplete from a loss of any kind. They allow us to move forward in life fully expressed and emotionally free. Would you like to know more? I invite you to a personal discovery call at [email protected] . Youre not alone #grief #normal #natural #griefrecovery #griefsupport #releasepain #feelbetter #peace #honouryourself #expressyourself #effectivetools #evidencebased #action #support #guidance #listeningear #nojudgement #iseeyou #clearyouremotionalspace #griefrecoveryspecialist #griefcoach #lifecoach #tlclifecoaching

Prepare Yourself For Positive Change! The best way to create positive change is to prepare yourself for it mentally and emotionally . Often, our mindset & feelings are rooted in the way its always been. What if we took a look at the other end of the spectrum? Spend some quiet time this weekend imagining how it will feel when your vision becomes reality, and align your thoughts and emotions with that new reality... www.tlclifecoaching.com #thoughtsbecomethings #newreality #vision #imagination #consciousmind #focus #clarity #intention #meditation #journal #makeavisionboard #unlimitedpossibilities #createalifeyoulove #lifeciach #griefcoach #tlclifecoaching

Hope Blooms And just like that we go from below 0C at night to sunny skies and slowly warming temperatures . In the last week tree buds are unfurling and the leaves are stretching open to receive the sunshine.... More and more flowers are blooming and adding colour everywhere we look. There was a lift in my heart yesterday as I walked. I am lighter and brighter than I was last week. Nothing changed - we are living with the effects of the pandemic, and will for some time to come - but observing Natures cycle reminded me that everything changes. It is the only thing we can be sure of. We are all moving through this time with as much knowledge, compassion and patience as we have. There are heartbreaking days, inspiring days, some boring meh days, and some absolutely wonderfully fantastic days! Through it all hope blooms, just like these spring flowers. We are getting through this. We are resilient and brave and creative! We have talents, skills, and abilities that can help others in all sorts of ways. Sometimes we need the help and it is okay to ask for that help. This time of isolation and distancing has reminded us that this is not our natural way of being. We are tribal. It is in our DNA. We are meant to participate, share, love and touch. I know I will never take this for granted again. My wish for you is to find some time in the next few days to get outside and feel the sun on your face. To plant your feet in the grass and take in all the colour bursting through all around you. To take several deep, cleansing breaths and feel...hope Kirsten #hope #springs #change #transition #resilience #growth #expansion #give #receive #share #connect #together #love #kindness #support #humantribe #allinthistogether #lifecoach #griefcoach #tlclifecoaching

Thoughts Become Things When we experience the emotion of the event we want to create ahead of its possible occurrence, the body (as the unconscious mind) begins to respond as though the event is actually unfolding.... We must become the very person we are trying to create! What does the future YOU act like? What are their thoughts, how do they hold themselves? You need to be that person NOW in order to create it (Dr.Joe Dispenza) #thoughts #becoming #things #vision #elevatedemotion #inspiredaction #act #asif #createyourreality #liveconsciously #bydesign #BeDoHave #transition #change #transformation #lifecoach #tlclifecoaching

The Power of Focus & Visualization Welcome to a new week!What goal(s) have you set? Have you made time to focus on visualizing yourself achieving that goal? The ability of our conscious mind to direct our attention and awareness is one the most important powers we have, and to create change in our life we must learn to control what we consciously focus on .... The other important ability of our conscious mind is the use of visualization. Your mind can literally imagine something that is totally new and unique...even if its something youve never experienced before! The really neat trick here is that our subconscious mind cant tell the difference between what our conscious mind imagines, and that which is real. So whatever we bring up in our conscious imagination and intently focused on, also brings up the emotions and feelings that are associated with that image in your mind for you to experience. By continuously being in charge of our own thoughts through directing our focus and using visualization, we can influence what programs our subconscious mind constantly runs. Do this often enough, and with enough emotional energy, then we begin to reprogram our unconscious internal belief system. And when that happens thats when we experience change on a very deep level! www.tlclifecoaching.com #Monday #motivation #whatsyourwhy #focus #intention #emotion #clarity #vision #consciousmind #dailypractice #inspiredaction #everythingbeginswithyourthoughts #thoughtsbecomethings #createyourreality #lifebydesign #possibilities #lifecoach #tlclifecoaching

TRANSFORMATION THURSDAY! Since Im not able to see clients in-person right now, I took this opportunity to redesign my office. My intention was to create a calm, light, cosy space...one that would feel comfortable for my Life Coaching, Grief Recovery, and Reiki clients.... Just need to decide on wall decor it will be complete and I am thrilled with the result! Thank you @andreamartindesign for creating the design plan that brought my vision to reality. You are a creative genius! A big appreciative shout out to my hubby, Scott, and my friend and neighbour @jerrydasilva1975 for all the help I am beyond grateful to do the work I do. Supporting people transitioning through significant life changes and experiences in as healthy way as possible so they can live life fully expressed and free. Im so happy to invite you to my new space once we can be together again. If you are in need of support now, please dont hesitate to contact me at kirsten@tlclifecoaching or to explore online options. www.tlclifecoaching.com #transformation #officeredesign #comfortable #cosy #healingspace #light #welcoming #lifecoaching #griefsupport #griefrecovery #Reiki #visionboardworkshops #andreamartindesign #threecrownsbranding #tlclifecoaching

What If Its a Less Than Loving Mothers Day? Mothers Day is definitely a reason to celebrate, but for many people it can bring up sad or painful feelings. Many people have issues with their Moms, so if the idea of Mothers Day upsets you, please know your feelings are normal and natural.... Death isnt the only reason people may be grieving around Mothers Day, although it certainly is a reason for many. * Maybe your Mom was abusive or less than loving * Maybe she didnt mother in the way you needed * Maybe you simply wish things in your relationship were different, better, more in some way This was my story with my Mom. We were never close despite me trying to bridge the gap between us for years. We didnt enjoy the same mother-daughter relationship so many of my friends had. Eventually I stopped trying. It hurt too much to keep having my heart broken from the one person I wanted to love me most of all. I learned to bury that pain. I accepted that was just the way it was. Unknown to me, all those unresolved feelings I was carrying around were affecting other relationships in my life. And thats the thing. Unresolved grief can have a long term negative impact on our lives. The more we try to ignore it, bury it, or push it under the rug, the more it will affect our life. Grief can affect our current and future personal relationships, our work and our health. The intensity of the feelings may lessen over time, but grief doesnt heal on its own. I learned how to complete the relationship with my Mom and heal my heart. It started with being honest that I wanted something more for myself, that I wanted to be free from the pain and resentment I felt. I wanted to do the work to recover from this loss, and found a beautiful human to help me. I wanted to heal so I would be better able to live from an open heart rather than a closed one. Would you like to be free from your sad or painful feelings? Try talking to someone you trust. Tell the truth about yourself. Ask them not to judge, criticize, or analyze ( then dont do that to yourself either!) Get a copy of the Grief Recovery Handbook, or reach out to me for a complementary discovery call. You arent alone. Kirsten Frey Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist www.tlclifecoaching.com