The Beginning of Drawing

Today: changing from lines to blotches, using three different pencils - an HB for shading complicated areas lightly at first, then a 4B & an 8B for picking up speed with larger areas of darkness -... I'm left-handed, so I'm working my way across the page from the right side; you can see at the top where my hand still smudges the empty space, even though I mostly keep it covered by another sheet of paper - I like to fill spaces with cross-hatching - patches of lines running against each other in random directions - I'll blend & smooth them a bit eventually, but I like the texture and movement of them; details aren't sharp yet, as I work my way towards accuracy - I find much of shading work depends on relativity - how one part looks, or should look, compared to another part, not just by itself; I go to the fourth floor of the library three blocks from my home & sit at one of the big tables next to a window wall - that's where I sit to shade & erase - small erasers are very important... when I was plotting & drawing the lines of this picture, I worked at home, standing up - with Audrey clamped to a board leaning against the wall on top of my printer - just to make sure I wasn't blindly trusting measurements that might be wrong. Today was two hours' work; I don't know if I'll finish in time for her anniversary on the 20th, but I'm lucky to be drawing & I wish everyone could be safe enough to draw - to do whatever they love. I know she was killed (given cancer) for talking about making everyone safe. She made the mistake of working for the UN & saw what they really do to people. I didn't know this, the first time I drew her in 1993. Drawing her put me on the path of learning the great truths of this world, & so drawing has become my religion - my discipline, my way of understanding, seeing God & devil, good & evil... ...do you see how we need dark & light to make a picture? One is not bad, evil - both are good - and they join together in a spectrum to make all the shades of every colour. (And yes - white, black & greys have two necessary qualities of colour - any two of three qualities are proof of being counted as colours.)

What makes you want to draw? I stopped when I was 2, because I got into trouble for it - I did careless drawings for school assignments after that, but carried pain & anger and stayed silent... then, when I was 15, Audrey died and I wanted so badly to express myself that I dared to draw her the very next day. I have drawn the same image of her every so often since then - it's how I taught my eyes to see & my hands to record. This will be my 6th drawing of her, I think & this ...January 20th will be 27 years since she died and gave me back my drawing voice. Here's how I draw her, and anything else from a photo reference: I measure this picture to match the photo - I have a large print of it in an old movie book (for other pictures I adjust/increase measurements for enlarging, and work hard not to screw up the ratio;) I give the picture a border so the shape is correct & I have lines to measure from; I mark fine pencil dots in the picture for places in the photo that are easy to measure - I measure sometimes in inches, mostly in millimetres for accuracy - & I measure from top or bottom and from one side or the other; I'll need to finish blocking in the pearls on her necklace & the diamonds in her hair - then I'm all set to start shading. I'll post updates as I go & no, I didn't measure anything for the first few drawings of her - I always started with her eyes, and usually left out her surroundings. I wanted quick gratification. I'll show all the drawings together when I'm finished this one - January 20th. Always start with, always know & always remember what matters enough to you - to make you express yourself - even when you are silent - especially when you are silent.

Simply. In pencil. Fine lines can break you, though! You could settle for a sketchy result, but this is an opportunity to increase your conviction, to focus your intention - if you want to be capable of firm lines the first time 'round. It's a matter of taking time and allowing for patience - same as always.