Breelove Counselling, Inc.

When dealing with some of the outcomes of childhood adversities or trauma, borderline personality behaviours can creep up and make things challenging... . It's not just the ups and downs... . It feels like you are replacing one shit situation for another...... . Behaviours look like on the outside as though individuals self sabotage their situations or create their own chaos... . Being unaware of the connection between borderline personality behaviours and adverse childhood experiences or trauma, makes... . Fear of abandonment, feelings of emptiness, unstable relationships,unclear self image, and threats of self harm... . That much real and that much overwhelming... . Know you do not need to suffer alone... . There are opportunities of healing and recovery, however, that means finding the courage to intentionally seek an awareness, understanding of your experience, to help expand your window of tolerance... . The responsibility can feel overwhelming and unfamiliar... . Just remember, you deserve giving yourself the opportunity for self worth and self compassion, meaning showing up for yourself when the fears come up and reminding yourself that your adversities or traumas do not dictate whether you are deserving of good things or not... . Be well See more

Regardless of how it looks on the outside, you are your own expert when it comes to how you interpret and perceive emotions, experiences, and the world around you... . When things feel big, give yourself permission to validate and honour those feelings... . Sure they may be unhelpful right now, but you're doing your best to work through these "big deal" feelings...... . Be kind to yourself and remember, if their big to you, then it's okay to make a big deal out of them... See more

Lately the topic of self abandonment lingers around in a lot of our sessions... . When we unintentionally choose to self abandon ourselves, this means we leave that responsibility to others, we risk rejecting and suppressing our feelings... . Then we feel abandoned or rejected by others when they don't fulfill that need...... . Let's be clear here, as an adult, you can be left, but you cannot be abandoned by others, only you can abandon yourself... . As children, we can be abandoned, as we need others to be responsible for our well being and worth... . Your self abandonment behaviours are not yours to carry since childhood, however, they are yours to take responsibility for, now that you are an adult... . Recognize how you abandon your worth, give yourself permission to express kindness and self compassion, and most importantly... . Show up for yourself... See more

Our Clinical Traumatologist Kayla Breelove Carter shares her insight on back-to-school anxiety... Check it out :)

Mental health is as important as physical health and should not be determined based upon privilege... . This is the reason why Breelove Counselling prides itself in offering to all of PEI islanders, New Brunswicker's, and Nova Scotians free, pay scale, and insured services for those in need... . Our first session is always free...... . Depending on need, referrals to our community counselling program offers individuals free counselling therapy... . Because everyone deserves access to mental health, not just the privileged... . Be well See more

Give yourself permission to explore self compassion and be the authority you need, no one knows better than yourself... . Give yourself permission to listen and explore what you have to offer... . Be well

Every step counts... . Healing can be hard to see when we seek for external validation or successes... . Finding the courage to trust yourself after years of self sabotage, self rejection, or even self abandonment is a huge step in the process of healing...... . Be kind to yourself, trust your process... . Trust in yourself... . Be well See more

The journey is intentional... It's hard... Yet not impossible... . Things will feel as though the current is against you, because our world, no matter how beautiful and wonderful it may seem, it has not been set up for people who are the most injured to be able to easily trust, love, or believe in the power of self... . Please, don't give up... It takes vulnerability, courage and intention to do some of the most radical things humanity has experienced...... . Great change comes from great sufferance, most of you have suffered enough, it's time for a change... . Stay woke my friends... You are worth it... . Be well See more

Trust me... It's never easy being a parent, yet alone being a parent and doing the best you can considering the adversities you, yourself have experienced as a child... . This does not mean you're a bad parent or that you are doing anything wrong... . It does mean you have a choice and chance to be intentional around how you parent...... . Intentional about how you model unconditional worth, how you show up for yourself and your kids... . Parenting, being human... It's a journey, give yourself permission to be kind to yourself and the opportunity to be accountable for how you manage situations as a parent... . If things feel overwhelming, it's okay to take a time out... You got this... . Be well See more

It's hard to work on ourselves, especially when we have an adverse background... . Lending ourselves vulnerable to our partner and them not doing their own inner work can make it even harder... . It might feel like your not getting the validation or honour you deserve...... . That you continue getting messages of "stop trying to change me" or " you are the problem, not me"... . Inner work is part of what it is to be human, it is part of our journey towards our authentic self... . Having a partner that can be vulnerable with you and also show up in their own inner work is an important part of an authentic relationship... . This does not mean you have to force people... Remember, you can bring a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink... . Like anything, it has to come from our own willingness to be vulnerable and by finding the courage to want to become better versions of our selves... To become our authentic self... . Nothing is wrong with you, you are not the problem... . You may need to reflect deeply on how much value does your relationship truly bring to your authentic needs and self... . It's scary, to think of being alone, or to think that this part of your life chapter may need to end, reflect deep, is this because of what you experienced as a child being a "relationship" is this fear of not wanting to "relive, painful feelings", do you fight between self abandonment and wanting to feel wanted? . Take your time and never compromise your true self for the comfort of others... Especially when they are unaware or they do not want to deal with their own inner work... You are much more worthy than this type of rejection... . You are worthy of a partner that sees the worthiness too... . Be well See more

Bond is bond, whether nurturing or traumatic... . The difference is the ripple effect it makes... . Safe and nurturing bonds give us the ability to have regulated stress response, a decent amount of self worth, and an ability to navigate life pretty well...... . On the other hand, those who carry their parents traumas may end up with a disregulated stress response, poor self worth and struggle though life, continuing to try and connect to an unsafe bond... . What happened to you is not your fault... . It's a "wired in us all" type of basic need as humans to need and want to connect to others... . What happened to your parents is also not their fault... . Give yourself the opportunity to carry your own experiences, to connect with yourself in a way that allows for an unconditional inner bond, and give yourself permission to let go of the traumas that don't belong to you... . You are worthy... . Be well See more

We want to be helpful, we want to be kind... . Often times, this ends in us putting ourselves last and carrying other people's weight or sufferance as though they are ours to carry... . You are not alone in this, you don't have to keep doing this if it constantly compromises your self worth...... . Remember that most sufferance and pain is a result of what happened to you, not a result of your wrong doing... . Give yourself permission to carry your own weight, and if you really want to, be a support for others to carry their own... . Be kind to yourself, you are worthy... . Be well See more

We can differentiate between different types of trauma, such as adverse childhood experiences and generations of racial trauma... . What's the commonality? . When something terrible is allowed to happen and the truth cannot be told...... . Survivors of trauma know that healing begins when we are able to tell the truth... . Racism is trauma... Inequities lead to trauma... . Talk about it, allow the truth to be told, in our homes, in our community, in our government... . Help begin the healing... . Be well See more

Doesn't mean you have your shit together... . Doesn't mean you understand it all... . Doesn't mean no mistakes happen...... . It means you are trying... . It means you are making it possible to be self compassionate... . It means you will one day go from survivor to thriver... . Always remember... Breathe. Trust. Let go... I. Am. Healing... . Be well See more