Carla Stern Psychological Services Inc.
231 - 6th Ave. SE T1A2S4 Medicine Hat, AB, Canada

Teaching kids about goal-setting, planning, perseverance, and delayed gratification is a life skill they can use now and well into adulthood! With all the talk about New Year Resolutions, now’s a great time to do just that! Not sure where to start? ... Start the conversation naturally, when they talk about something they want to achieve, or when they ask about New Year Resolutions. Ask them about their own goals. What’s important to them? What’s something they want to achieve? Why are those goals important to them, personally? What would making achieving them awesome? Then offer to help them come up with an action plan to get there. Try to let them take the lead, but offer support. Review their goals with them, if they're open to it, or when they bring it up over time. Or just ask them how they're making out with their goals from time-to-time. If they have frustrations, or forgot about them, or chose to ditch them, it's a great time to open the door to conversations about that too! Maybe they just need some help with revising their goals, or perhaps the goals they set weren't actually that meaningful for them in the first place. Or if they're making great progress, you can talk about why that is, what they're doing each month, week, or day that's helped keep the momentum going. And regardless of whether they've achieved their goals, are on their way, or have gone backwards - don't criticize or try to push them into new or different goals. Remember, your kids' goals are NOT your own (I have a hard one with this myself sometimes!). TRY NOT TO JUDGE THEIR GOALS No goal is too small or insignificant to help them learn the skill and discipline of goal-setting. Your kids probably don’t care about saving for their college education (yet!), but small, fun goals are great for teaching! Maybe they want to save up for a new toy. Or ask a certain kid to play at recess. Or learn to spell their name or read. Or make a spaceship out of LEGO. Or make the hockey team. Or win a dance competition. The goals they’re most passionate about will be the ones they work hard for and will be most successful at meeting! And we want those small successes for them early on so they can learn to build up to bigger goals over time. Just do your best to support and guide them as they go! #ParentingWithIntention #GoalSetting #SkillsDevelopment

For parents, Mondays can be especially tough, particularly after a long break from regular routines. For many, it's back to work, back to rules and routines and schedules, and back to packing lunches every day. And sometimes, it's even back to trying to coerce your kids to get up and get to school, or preparing yourself for the weekly or daily phone calls home from school or daycare.... Parenting (and life) can be tough sometimes - especially on Mondays! But what if - just for ONE day a year - you ditched the age-old attitude about Mondays being horrible, and shifted your mindset, paying attention to only those things that you LOVE about Mondays! Well, guess what... Today is apparently National Thank God It's Monday Day! So you get to do just that! And who knows... maybe it just might stick, and you'll find yourself actually looking FORWARD to Mondays, instead of dreading them! Here's what I love about Mondays... 1. I get to go back to the gym (well, when it's open anyways...) after a two-day break, which always makes me extra excited! 2. I love routine, so I look forward to getting back to regular schedules! 3. I love my kids and cherish the time I get to spend with them, but I love my work as well! And I get to see other adults (which, as a mom, is always nice.. ), and get to provide help, healing, and value to others. What do you love about Mondays?? #NationalThankGodItsMondayDay #ThankGodItsMonday #ThankGodItsMondayDay

What New Year Resolutions did you set for yourself or your family this year? Also, now that it's January 3rd... are you still as excited about them? Maybe you want to change something for yourself, your kids, your family, your career, your finances, or your relationships. Whatever it is you resolve to do this year, know that you're probably - at some point - not going to be as excited about it.... And that's okay! That's when the rubber meets the road (so to speak...) Those of you who will truly reach your goals by this time next year, are those who stick with it... Even when it gets old, boring, tough, and feels more like work than an exciting goal. Here are a few quick tips to help you persevere through the tough times, for yourself and your family. 1. REMIND yourself of your resolutions and your "why" Why did you set that resolution in the first place? When you can remember what was so important about that resolution in the first place, and what the deeper motivation is behind it, it will help you keep going when things get tough. 2. REVIEW your progress regularly The start of the year is a natural time to set new goals in life and in business, but if you don't review them until December 31st, you will find yourself exactly where you are right now (or maybe worse!). Review your progress quarterly, monthly, weekly, and/or daily - depending on your particular goals. 3. REVISE your resolutions, as needed Every once in a while, after reviewing your progress, you may realize things aren't progressing as planned. What's getting in the way? What can you do about it? Is this the goal you REALLY want for yourself and your family - deep down? Sometimes revising your resolutions means making small tweaks. Sometimes it means making drastic changes. And sometimes it means ditching your goals and creating new, more relevant, realistic, smaller, or bigger ones altogether. Whatever your resolutions, remember that true change isn't just surface-level. Or you'll be back to the same old resolutions or goals, over and over again each year. Resolutions that actually stick are about making meaningful changes to or within your lifestyle, that are sustainable over time. That means it will take time, effort, work, and perseverance. But if it's truly meaningful to you, and if you stick with it over time, the dividends will pay off in the end. Now go turn those resolutions into a reality! I'm rooting for you!

Here’s to the end of a challenging year. You made it... Maybe you made it through barely hanging on.... Or maybe you reached the end of 2020 stronger, wiser, and more resilient as an individual and as a family. Wherever you’re at right now, I hope 2021 brings you brighter days ahead, health, happiness, love, and prosperity. Happy New Year!!

Such a great tool to check in with yourself and understand where you’re at. If you’re in crisis or struggling, give yourself some grace. Know it’s okay to not be functioning at your typical level.... Focus on the little things you have to be grateful for, and celebrate even the smallest wins. Some days, the fact that you got out of bed and took a shower is worth celebrating - so celebrate it. The more you can focus on the positives, the better you will begin to feel, and the better you begin to feel, the more positives you’ll find to focus on. Be kind to yourself

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!

Great parents teach children respect and accountability, while also encouraging them to think critically and make their own choices (which sometimes includes making mistakes). Do you agree?

You are the CEO of your own little family... and at no position in your life will you EVER experience greater accomplishments, bigger challenges, or more significant stakes than in the leadership of your children. Great leadership takes courage, confidence, patience, problem-solving, critical thinking, consistency, empathy, compassion, hope, resilience, an action-oriented and solution-focused mindset, and forward-thinking focus. Do you have what it takes? ... The greatest leaders of all are those who constantly develop and refine their leadership skills, are proud of their strengths, acknowledge their weaknesses, are constantly learning and growing and refining their approach, approach failure with perseverance, and are never afraid to ask for help. We all know the leaders we look up to... and those we can’t wait to get away from. Develop these leadership skills within your parenting role, and you will be on a path to raising incredible children! And your kids will thank you for it, too... Choose your leadership style wisely.

Individual therapy is essential - and for many of life's most difficult challenges, individual therapy can not only be helpful, but REQUIRED to help you move forward in a positive direction through the challenges you face, with the support you need. When it comes to children, however (especially very young children) there is NOTHING more powerful than learning the skills and working together WITH your child. While a therapist may see your child for an hour a week (or less), a...s a parent, you have the opportunity to work with them every single day... Imagine how much impact you can have when you learn the skills necessary to support whatever challenges it is that your child is facing, and apply them with your child in your daily life... Nothing can compare.

Mindset is the foundation for EVERYTHING you do in life, whether it's related to your career, relationships, health, wellness, education, and yes...even parenting. Your mindset is the key to becoming a more confident, responsive, and effective parent. When you face challenges, obstacles, and adversity, whether you get through it better on the other side really depends on how you step into it.... How you see your circumstances. How you view yourself as parents. How you perceive your skills. How you envision potential outcomes and your future. If you master NOTHING ELSE in life, MASTER YOUR MINDSET! Because this, above all else, will determine how healthy, happy, and successful you are as a parent, and it WILL trickle down (for better or worse) to your kids. So set your KIDS up for success, by setting YOURSELF up for success.

As adults, we have power, control, influence, and strength over the children around us. The way we use that power, control, influence, and strength with those who depend on us ultimately determines who we are. When you, as an adult, put your child first - when you are vulnerable, compassionate, caring, helpful, calm, patient, and kind - that is when you truly stand tall as a man, a woman, a human being.

YES!! Listen up, mama!! This is for YOU!

Parents of Babies/Toddlers/Preschoolers What burning questions do you have on how to handle your child’s difficult emotions or behaviours? What keeps you up at night?... What is one thing that, if answered, could help move your child and your family in the right direction? I have my own ideas, but what content can I focus on that would bring YOU the most value? Drop your thoughts below! Or send me a message if you prefer to remain anonymous. (Nothing too personal though - remember, this IS Facebook, and it is NOT therapy. Just a way to provide some focused, relevant information and education to you and everyone else following ) I’m planning to compile a list of questions to answer throughout the month of November. Still pondering the format... I haven’t done any videos for a while. What’s your preference? Photo with text writeup? Short video (under 5 mins)? Medium video (5-15 mins)? Long video (over 15 mins)? What do you think? Help me help you!

Let’s talk self-care for a moment... and no, not the fluffy stuff. I mean REAL self-care. Taking care of your SELF, so that you are better prepared to take care of your kids. As a #parent, you’ve no doubt felt the guilt of desiring some time to yourself, WITHOUT your little shadows!... But what if taking that time away actually HELPS your kids, instead of hurting them or making you a bad parent for taking that time out for yourself? For me, it’s a quiet house early in the morning when everyone else is still asleep. Or reading alone in my room. Or taking an hour to pump some adult music while I’m working out AWAY from the house, all by myself, surrounded by the motivating atmosphere of the gym (where no little children are running around calling out mom or tugging at my pant legs). When I do these things CONSISTENTLY, I show up for my kids happier, healthier, and with a much more calm, positive, patient, and solution-focused presence. And in turn, my #kids are happier, healthier, more calm, patient, positive, and solution-focused. Hmmm... funny, isn’t it? We beat ourselves up as parents for wanting me-time, and yet taking that time - guilt free - actually makes us BETTER parents... You see, it’s all about shifting your perspective. I mean, I get it. I’ve felt that #momguilt too... But when you really take that time out for yourself doing whatever it is you need to do, you can REALLY show up for your kids. So go ahead. Carve out time for YOURSELF. And do it with the CONFIDENCE that you are, in fact, becoming a better person and parent BECAUSE of it #parentingtips #selfcare #guiltfree #metime