Carla Stern Psychological Services Inc.
231 - 6th Ave. SE T1A2S4 Medicine Hat, AB, Canada

I just want to say thank you to my clients and colleagues, past and present. This year hasn't been an easy one... We've had to:... Pause sessions back in March when COVID first became a thing... Reconnect in the late summer/fall Wear masks in common areas Work together behind a plexiglass barrier Wear masks even throughout therapy Sanitize hands coming and going and in between Fill out COVID checklists Take extra time to clean and sanitize between clients Limit wait room capacity and time before appointments Juggle homeschooling and appointments Find creative ways of working through issues or challenges with the changing world we live in And for some, shifting schedules or other obligations had to take priority in these uncertain and challenging times (Thinking of you!). I just want to take a moment to acknowledge that this hasn't been easy on anyone. And I am so grateful for the patience, understanding, dedication, compassion, and support of the incredible people I get to work with every week! #OfficeUpdates #Gratitude #IHaveTheBestClientsAndColleagues

Despite how it feels in the moment, kids don’t misbehave JUST to make you mad... Especially not at a very young age. Typically, there’s a lot more to their behaviour.... It may be that they’re: Seeking connection (albeit, not in the most effective manner) Trying to avoid emotional or physical pain (even if it IS just in their mind) Attempting to achieve a goal (this can be anything from a certain colour of cup to getting the toy they want) Communicating big emotions (they may not have the language or ability to express those, OR the skills to cope with them effectively on their own) Feeling out of control (when they sense their little worlds are in chaos, or they have too little or too much control over their environment, they’ll seek to feel in control by controlling the things they can) Overwhelmed (too much stimulation, too tired, too hot, too cold, in pain, getting sick, hungry - when there’s too much going on inside their little bodies its harder to cope with the things around them) Bored (if kids don’t have things to keep them stimulated and engaged, they’ll find things to keep them stimulated and engaged, and sometimes that means bugging their sister and other fun games) So next time you find yourself feeling like your kids are doing things JUST to make you mad, try to look a little deeper... WHY are they doing it? Are they tired, bored, looking for attention, upset, hurt, trying to avoid something, wanting something? When we figure out what’s at the root of it, we can begin to address it more effectively. Sometimes, that means figuring out how to meet their needs in the moment and planning ahead to prevent the misbehaviour in similar situations in the future. And sometimes it means setting limits and addressing misbehaviour more directly. And also figuring out how to prevent the misbehaviour in similar situations in the future. #Behaviour #ChildBehaviour #WhyKidsMisbehave

Christmas is a time to focus on family. And this year, staying grounded in our values and traditions may be more important than ever. While this year may look a little different than most, we still have a lot to be grateful for, and have lots of little traditions we can continue to practice this Christmas. ... One of my favourites is grabbing a coffee (hot chocolate for the kids!) and driving around as a family looking at all the beautiful Christmas lights! (Although some of us in the family may enjoy it more than others ) It just fills my with Christmas spirit! It’s a nice time to relax, talk, connect, and bond with the kids. And (bonus!) we all get to stay warm and cozy! What’s your favourite Christmas tradition you’ll still be practicing this year, despite Covid?

Your kids are not their emotions. Emotions are fleeting, not fixed. Want happier kids? Teach them this! We all hear our kids say (and probably say ourselves) things like I’m mad! Or I’m sad etc...... But saying I am... (or You are...) anything implies some fixed trait. And while the language may be subtle, it does make a big difference in how your kids see themselves, and how you and others see them. Heard enough or said enough, your kids may begin to view themselves as just angry or bad or sad. And the stories we tell ourselves about WHO we are, are very powerful in shaping our thoughts and behaviours. Just making one slight shift in how you talk about your kids’ feelings can have a very powerful impact. Emotions are states. They come and go. No one IS angry... they just FEEL angry. And our feelings change all the time throughout the day. So, next time your little one says I’m so mad! Or next time you notice their big feelings of any sort, simply restate it like this: You’re feeling mad or whatever emotion they may be experiencing in the moment. State why. And remind them that those feelings are fleeting. Here’s an example: You’re feeling angry because you didn’t get the toy you wanted. It’s hard when we don’t get to do what we want sometimes. What could you play with instead? You’re meeting them where they’re at, empathizing with them, teaching them that their feelings are okay, and also gently and subtly teaching them that there are ways they can shift those emotions. It’s not a quick fix, but remember - you’re playing the long game. Your child develops and learns slowly over time, through repeated experiences. Repeated over time, this dialogue becomes internalized. Your child will learn that they are not their emotions, and that while they can’t always control the feelings that come up for them, they can become aware of them and find ways of shifting them. #Emotions #YouAreNotYourFeelings #YourChildIsNotTheirFeelings #FeelingsAreFleeting #PlayTheLongGame #ChildDevelopment

Bedtime can be a great time to connect with your child, and enhance your relationship daily. The key is to create consistent (but not rigid) routines. The earlier the better, but it’s never too late to start. By creating consistent routines, you’ll be making bedtime more predictable, and you can build in time for focused connection.... Kids thrive on predictability. Even if they resist at first to new structure or expectations, if you stick with it, they will even come to look forward to it. So what should you include in a bedtime routine? Well, all the usual and boring stuff of course... Like getting their pjs on and brushing their teeth. But the magic is in the connection. No phones or screen time at least half an hour to an hour before bed (for you too, so they see you’re in it with them and don’t feel like they’re missing out!) Bath time can be a great time to play, connect, and talk with your little ones, or can be some nice alone, quiet, down time for older kids. Both of which can help them relax and get their minds ready for bed. Reading together or just spending a few minutes talking about their day - the good, as well as the challenges (in a positive, reflective manner) can help build those connections, enhance their mood and your relationship, and clear their minds to ready them for sleep. And when these points of daily connection become routine, it enhances your child’s trust and security within the relationship. They learn that - no matter how their day has gone - they get to connect with you at the end of it. #ParentChildRelationships #BedtimeRoutines #Connect

YES!! All of this!

ALLLL of this! I especially love #5 - Discipline with respect, not shame Which one’s your fave?

Clients, please note the new bylaw that comes into effect tomorrow As per the new Bylaw, all individuals (except those listed as exempt) will be required to wear a mask upon entering and until exiting the office. Please contact me if you have any questions or concerns.

My littlest one had her first tantrum a few weeks ago... here’s how I handled it (and it hasn’t happened again since... yet!) At 18 months (and until about 2 1/2) kids don’t understand consequences. It’s all about teaching what TO do, not what NOT to do. ...Continue reading

Your heart breaks when you hear your little one cry... or maybe you just get frustrated and don’t know how to help. Here are 11 great things you can say when your child’s crying to help soothe them. Which one do you use?

YES!! Listen up, mama!! This is for YOU!

Such a great tool to check in with yourself and understand where you’re at. If you’re in crisis or struggling, give yourself some grace. Know it’s okay to not be functioning at your typical level.... Focus on the little things you have to be grateful for, and celebrate even the smallest wins. Some days, the fact that you got out of bed and took a shower is worth celebrating - so celebrate it. The more you can focus on the positives, the better you will begin to feel, and the better you begin to feel, the more positives you’ll find to focus on. Be kind to yourself

Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and a little bit out of control with more COVID restrictions being put into place, and all the uncertainty and fear surrounding us. Should you keep calm and carry on? Or should you join the masses and buy ALL the toilet paper? ... I don't have all the answers... Heck, . I don't think anyone does! But I DO want you to know that I'm here, and I'm riding this crazy (COVID) train with you. In the last few days I've been speaking with a lot of kids and parents. And here are my top takeaways that I hope will help you navigate this time: Even through all the challenges and uncertainty, you have a lot to be grateful for. Focus on the good. Stay (virtually) connected to the people who've got your back. You may need them now, more than ever. Get back to basics: Stay hydrated. Eat healthy. Get enough sleep. Exercise. Have fun. Hug your kids. How are you handling these uncertain times? What helps keep you sane through all the craziness? Share with me in the comments! I'd love to hear your ideas and what works for you!

Parents of Babies/Toddlers/Preschoolers What burning questions do you have on how to handle your child’s difficult emotions or behaviours? What keeps you up at night?... What is one thing that, if answered, could help move your child and your family in the right direction? I have my own ideas, but what content can I focus on that would bring YOU the most value? Drop your thoughts below! Or send me a message if you prefer to remain anonymous. (Nothing too personal though - remember, this IS Facebook, and it is NOT therapy. Just a way to provide some focused, relevant information and education to you and everyone else following ) I’m planning to compile a list of questions to answer throughout the month of November. Still pondering the format... I haven’t done any videos for a while. What’s your preference? Photo with text writeup? Short video (under 5 mins)? Medium video (5-15 mins)? Long video (over 15 mins)? What do you think? Help me help you!

Great parents teach children respect and accountability, while also encouraging them to think critically and make their own choices (which sometimes includes making mistakes). Do you agree?

Let’s talk self-care for a moment... and no, not the fluffy stuff. I mean REAL self-care. Taking care of your SELF, so that you are better prepared to take care of your kids. As a #parent, you’ve no doubt felt the guilt of desiring some time to yourself, WITHOUT your little shadows!... But what if taking that time away actually HELPS your kids, instead of hurting them or making you a bad parent for taking that time out for yourself? For me, it’s a quiet house early in the morning when everyone else is still asleep. Or reading alone in my room. Or taking an hour to pump some adult music while I’m working out AWAY from the house, all by myself, surrounded by the motivating atmosphere of the gym (where no little children are running around calling out mom or tugging at my pant legs). When I do these things CONSISTENTLY, I show up for my kids happier, healthier, and with a much more calm, positive, patient, and solution-focused presence. And in turn, my #kids are happier, healthier, more calm, patient, positive, and solution-focused. Hmmm... funny, isn’t it? We beat ourselves up as parents for wanting me-time, and yet taking that time - guilt free - actually makes us BETTER parents... You see, it’s all about shifting your perspective. I mean, I get it. I’ve felt that #momguilt too... But when you really take that time out for yourself doing whatever it is you need to do, you can REALLY show up for your kids. So go ahead. Carve out time for YOURSELF. And do it with the CONFIDENCE that you are, in fact, becoming a better person and parent BECAUSE of it #parentingtips #selfcare #guiltfree #metime

Beautiful message. I just had to share for any parents who are stuggling right now and need to hear this

You are the CEO of your own little family... and at no position in your life will you EVER experience greater accomplishments, bigger challenges, or more significant stakes than in the leadership of your children. Great leadership takes courage, confidence, patience, problem-solving, critical thinking, consistency, empathy, compassion, hope, resilience, an action-oriented and solution-focused mindset, and forward-thinking focus. Do you have what it takes? ... The greatest leaders of all are those who constantly develop and refine their leadership skills, are proud of their strengths, acknowledge their weaknesses, are constantly learning and growing and refining their approach, approach failure with perseverance, and are never afraid to ask for help. We all know the leaders we look up to... and those we can’t wait to get away from. Develop these leadership skills within your parenting role, and you will be on a path to raising incredible children! And your kids will thank you for it, too... Choose your leadership style wisely.

Set your kids up for successful online learning! Some tips posted by Advance Occupational Therapy Services

Mindset is the foundation for EVERYTHING you do in life, whether it's related to your career, relationships, health, wellness, education, and yes...even parenting. Your mindset is the key to becoming a more confident, responsive, and effective parent. When you face challenges, obstacles, and adversity, whether you get through it better on the other side really depends on how you step into it.... How you see your circumstances. How you view yourself as parents. How you perceive your skills. How you envision potential outcomes and your future. If you master NOTHING ELSE in life, MASTER YOUR MINDSET! Because this, above all else, will determine how healthy, happy, and successful you are as a parent, and it WILL trickle down (for better or worse) to your kids. So set your KIDS up for success, by setting YOURSELF up for success.

Individual therapy is essential - and for many of life's most difficult challenges, individual therapy can not only be helpful, but REQUIRED to help you move forward in a positive direction through the challenges you face, with the support you need. When it comes to children, however (especially very young children) there is NOTHING more powerful than learning the skills and working together WITH your child. While a therapist may see your child for an hour a week (or less), a...s a parent, you have the opportunity to work with them every single day... Imagine how much impact you can have when you learn the skills necessary to support whatever challenges it is that your child is facing, and apply them with your child in your daily life... Nothing can compare.

As adults, we have power, control, influence, and strength over the children around us. The way we use that power, control, influence, and strength with those who depend on us ultimately determines who we are. When you, as an adult, put your child first - when you are vulnerable, compassionate, caring, helpful, calm, patient, and kind - that is when you truly stand tall as a man, a woman, a human being.