Coherence Counselling

Isolation is hard for us humans. Sometimes really, really hard. Some of you may be feeling a bit of a reprieve right now from the intense isolation of the first couple months of the pandemic, but still - to a person, every client I’ve spoken with since April has struggled with this aspect of the pandemic. . So there are two things I want to say about this. Number 1: if you have struggled with feeling isolated during the pandemic, even if you live with family members or other...s, you are having a normal human reaction. Us humans are herd creatures - like most of our other mammalian cousins, we are literally wired to be dependent on others for survival. Even those of us who tend toward introversion will usually hit a wall where we need some form of human contact eventually. So, if being isolated has been really hard for you, please know that’s not a personal flaw or shortcoming - it’s part of being a human mammal. . Number 2: this one is more of a curiousity than a statement. If you struggled with having too small a pod, or no pod at all, this spring (or are continuing to struggle with that now), I wonder if these summer weeks (when it’s relatively safe to meet people at a distance outdoors) could be an opportunity to connect with other micro-pods that might want to merge into a slightly larger pod once we head into the colder months and potentially more restrictions again? I guess what it comes down to is this - I’ve heard so much struggle, especially from families with young kiddos, around both kids and adults not having access to social connection, so I’m curious if there are things we can do now to find our herds/pods that will get us through the next wave? Are you looking to merge pods with another family? Why or why not? I would love to hear your thoughts on this. . . . . . #pandemiclife #pandemicbaby #covid19 #covidbaby #pod #germacule #bubble #isolationishard #socialengagement #ventralvagal #somaticexperiencing #polyvagalparenting #polyvagaltheory #attachmenttheory #community #humansaremammals #pandemicparenting See more

Yes, I know that, technically, the WHO is calling it World Breastfeeding Week. But we’re into inclusion around here, and there are plenty of awesome parents who nurse their children who don’t identify as having breasts. So, whatever language you use to describe your body, big props to the folks out there doing the hard and beautiful work of feeding your little one from your body. . And, while we’re on the subject of things we do around here... I talk a lot about attachment.... Today, I think it’s important to name that for those parents who don’t and/or aren’t able to nurse their children, for whatever reasons, there are still many important ways that you (and everyone!) can foster secure, healthy attachment with your little ones. So, I also want to give big props to all the parents out there doing the hard and beautiful work of building secure attachment in ways that don’t include feeding from their bodies. . . . . . #preandperinatalpsychology #pregnancy #breastfeeding #chestfeeding #bodyfeeding #nursing #queerparenting #parentingiscomplicated #parentingcanbehard #parentingcanbeawesome #attachmentparenting #gentleparenting #peacefulparenting #postpartum #attachmenttheory #babylife #covidbaby #vancouverisland #ppmd #postpartumdepression #postpartumanxiety See more

Self-care is somewhat of a complicated topic for me, because I see some problems with North America’s mainstream narrative around self-care, particularly the commercialization of self-care, and the fact that self-care puts the onus on individuals to deal with the effects of chronic stress and burnout without questioning the culture that drives our collective chronic stress and burnout in the first place. . That said, I do think self-care has it’s place. For example, this is ...what self-care often looks like for me these days - taking my dinner down to the beach, going for a swim, then drying off in the warm sun. In this pandemic time when I’m seeing all my clients virtually and spending all day looking at a screen, spending a few moments in nature every day is the perfect antidote for my zoom-fatigue. The challenge is that in those moments of overwhelm and fatigue when we need that antidote the most, we tend to have the least energy to do it! This is why, at least for me, the self-care that’s most effective is easily accessible, feels good, and directly addresses the source of stress on my system - in this case, too much screen time. . What new challenges to your wellbeing has the pandemic brought for you? What ways have you developed of caring for yourself through those challenges? . . . . . #selfcaresaturday #naturetherapy #zoomfatigue #coastsalishterritory #nurturingresilience #somaticexperiencing #somatictherapy #overcominganxiety #overcomingdepression #healingjourney #healingfromtrauma See more

The weight of trying to be a perfect parent can be so, so heavy! Thank goodness, research shows us that our kiddos don’t actually need us to be perfect - they need us to be attuned, responsive, and when there’s a misattunement or some other rupture, they need us to take the lead in repairing it. . What might it be like to give yourself permission to be an imperfect human being? And to model for your children how to repair and come back into connection after we’ve made a h...uman mistake? . . . . #parentlife #momlife #dadlife #attachmenttheory #neurobiology #attachmentparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #parentsofinstagram #momsofinstagram #dadsofinstagram #healingjourney #healingtrauma #somaticexperiencing #preandperinatalpsychology #overcominganxiety #overcomingdepression #ppn #myrnamartin #therapistsofinstagram #emotionalintelligence #nurturingresilience See more

In other words - giving our nervous systems a break (or even lots of small breaks through the day!) from crisis mode will actually help us build the resilience and capacity we need to meet the demands of the crisis. What helps your nervous system switch gears out of crisis mode, even just for a moment or two? . . . .... . . #somaticexperiencing #polyvagaltheory #kathykain #peterlevine #coherence #itsoktotakeabreak #naturetherapy #resilience #nurturingresilience #overcomingtrauma #overcomingdepression #overcominganxiety #britishcolumbia #bcparents #covid19 #pandemicpregnancy #pandemicparenting #peacefulparenting #attachmentparenting See more