Cryptic

Story of my life (from the accordionist's perspective)! Thanks to David for bringing this to my attention.

Our drummer is in Montréal right now so here's how we practise.

The Grease Returns

First song we've put out in over 2 years. More to come.

New single in the works. Stay tuned.

video by Kristina Hoekstra Taken at the Buckingham in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada on Nov 5, 2018

We're playin Rockin 4 Dollars tonight at The Buckingham; new drummer - new cover song in the set.

Hard hitting journalism from the Mushroom Kingdom.

If you play drums and you'd like to work with us, message us.

Playin with the Central this Thirsday! Be there.

Dig deep down into your liquor encrusted souls and pull out 10 measly dollars to come see some of the most experimental and technically gratifying noise our city has to offer. Liquor is also exceptionally good and cheap at this establishment. Get on it.

We're practising for the frst time in months. Show announcement soon. Drink.

Well, one year since the election and this tool has accomplished nearly nothing. Keep them mini-fingers tweetin' Donny Drumpf.

The struggles when your band sounds more like this than any of the bands you're on bills with.

I tried to play some of our songs from The Drink on an acoustic today and gave them actual vocal melodies. It sounded terrible. Don't expect this to ever be recorded. -Claire

Cryptic does BC

Pathetica, the fest we played last night in Vancouver was unreal. In the words of our drummer Hugh Jackman, "Holy hell." Our livers are barely makin' it to the next show today in Calgary. Our hearts were set adrift with the cigarrete butts that litter Crab Beach. Our minds are filled with fried chicken, dabs, and Passive songs. Our clothes smell faintly of PBR and cat piss. Thanks to Korlon Marrisan and Aaron Levy for places to stay, Thanks to Dollarama for our sustenance. And thanks to Lucius Diamond for absolutely nothing. Most Matts can pretty much just fuck right off.

Our 7am arrival in BC after a 12 hour drive.

Shiny new bum league merch for our little tour.

New merch ready for tour

Practising doing vocals and leads together. Vancouver, we'll see ya soon

We're playin a show on Calgary July 9th with D.F.H. and You Take The Bus When You're Dead! Stumble on down. It'll be worth the stumble.

This cover band featured our very own Kevin and Claire on bass and drums!

Welcome to Latino's Bar Restaurant Bed and Breakfast Café Lounge Bistro ESL School Retirement Home Concert Venue Margarita Dispensary Art Hall Thoroughbred Race Horse Shelter and Grill on the water front. Where they offer you the finest of the finer things. Cryptic is on at some point after 10pm.

We've been practisin. Beefin up. Improvin our times. Hittin the bikes. Sittin some up. Pushin even more up. We hope to medal in the renowned sports listed below: Drunkus High Gin Long Gin... 400 metre drink Speed Whisky Beerminton Drunk Kayaking Diving into liquor Ginnastics Gindo Rumby Shooting Synchronized falling down Taekwondrunk Triathaliquor Decatheliquor Vodkaball (indoor) Golf See more

New album now being recorded. Drum tracking has begun. Unnecessary gopro videos to come. Also, we're playing a show at Latino's on June 3rd. New costumes, new china cymbal, and I [Claire] got a freeze pedal. Be there.

Get down to the best basement Whyte has to offer for a night of noise. *** Hidden within the phrase above is a list of liquor you should probably shove down your gullet on the day of the show.... This - to yourself - you most definitely owe. See more

He'll never pull that trigger

It just says ‘Dryers are for clothes only’what the hell happened here?

New song played on Dec 23rd 2016 in Edmonton. Dig it.