Dawn Clarke Counselling
432 Tulameen Rd. Kelowna, BC, Canada

Self-esteem is the internal awareness of our own preciousness in the midst of our humanity. ~Pia Mellody

On the other side of things, you are constantly moving, planning, organizing, caretaking, filling up your schedule because slowing down, and turning inwards feels too dangerous. We can hold implicit felt body memories that keep driving us to act.

A person's brain makes neurons with more synapses which become connected to other neurons - making them the unique individual they are in response to their life... experiences. Here's how that happens in your head. Five Ways Experience Changes Your Brain https://buff.ly/2Bg1I9s #mentalhealth #brain #child #neuroplasticity #emotions

When an adult caregiver is in safe/calm state, the child’s mirror neurons detect and replicate that state. The more frequently the child is in this mirrored ventral vagus state, the healthier their myelin sheath will be.

If we are activated we can follow the self-soothing techniques as indicated in this article but we can only discharge these stuck energies if we feel safe enough to do so. So let’s be gentle with the people we live with and recognize that co-regulation is vitally important to strengthen that sense of safety in our environment, and in turn, our physiology. If we are too sympathetically charged to ask for what we want, then a time out will suffice until we are regulated enough ...to reach out. A time out is not a wall, rather it is a flexible boundary indicating that there needs to be some space to calm the nervous system first. This is relational respect. Ruptures are inevitable in relationships and learning to repair skillfully and timely is essential to creating self and co-regulation. It is possibly the bravest thing you can ever do and it gets easier with practice. If we can't be that safe haven for others, there are many roads to self-regulation and it starts with asking for help. See more

Thoughtful Thursday

The Springboard of Potential: this is the place inside of us where possibilities arise. When we are putting all of our energy towards managing stress, anxiety,... toxic relationships and depression, there is very little left, if anything, for imagination, problem solving, being creative and nurturing ourselves. It’s possible to cultivate and expand our sense of Being in the middle ground. This is the platform for which our ideal selves become actualized. #somaticexperiencing #rangeofresiliency #selfregulation

Yeah. We learn about love through relationship. How is one supposed to love themselves if they’ve never been shown how? It starts in our earliest relationships, by dynamic attunement and the rupture and repair sequence with our primary caregivers. If we didn’t have that consistent nurturing and care early on we can practice secure functioning and get those skills on board. Secure functioning begets secure functioning and it's an ongoing practice. Our survival instinct is ou...r strongest biological impulse and attachment to others runs inherently deep as well. It is essential to our health and well being to be connected to a few safe others, more importantly, when we are living alone. Knowing we have a safe haven, a community of secure functioning people is vitally important to our sense of self-love and self-worth. No one is perfect and we are not always secure functioning all the time, so be kind and protected. If you don’t have these people, this tribe, then practice. Be the longing -- meaning what you yearn for in others be that in yourself. This is the gift you bring to the world. <3 https://dianepooleheller.com/attachment-styles/ https://toko-pa.com/2013/11/05/belonging-be-the-longing/