A Safe Place to Heal

Don’t miss this. The most exceptional people and facility to help addicts and partners of addicts.

Dont miss this. The most exceptional people and facility to help addicts and partners of addicts.

Think positive for 2020: to ensure good health, eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate truthfulness and maintain an interest in life. Happy New Year

YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW: There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free of fear and apprehension. One of these days is YESTERDAY, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. YESTERDAY has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back YESTERDAY. We cannot undo a single act we performed, we cannot erase a single word we said. YESTERDAY is gone. The othe...r day we should not worry about is TOMORROW. With its possible adversities, its burdens, its larger promise, TOMORROW is also beyond our immediate control. TOMORROW, the sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it dies, we have no stake in tomorrow for it is as yet unborn. This leaves only one day - TODAY. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities -YESTERDAY and TOMORROW - that we break down. It is not the experience of TODAY that drives people mad, it is remorse or bitterness for something which happened YESTERDAY and the dread of what TOMORROW may bring. Let us therefore live but one day at a time. See more

Check out my newest blog post. https://sexandrelationshiphealing.com//your-body-knows-ev/

Check out my blog post : https://sexandrelationshiphealing.com//partners-of-addict/

Coming together to network and pursue the goal of helping others. These three are the real deal. Seeking integrity provides support for sex addiction, partners of sex addicts and residential care. I am proud to be affiliated with them. #prodependence #sobriety #addiction #soberliving #seekingintegrity

Our mistakes dont limit us, our fears do.Our mistakes dont limit us, our fears do.

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning... to the end. He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years. For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth and now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth. For it matters not, how much we owe, the car..the house.. the cash. What matters is how much we live and love and how we spend our dash. #future #livelife #relationships #connection #love #sobriety #healthyrelationships

Your heart is much too beautiful of a place for bitterness, anger and resentment. That hurt you have experienced is real. Don't let it take anymore of you. Time to let love, peace, kindness, gratitude, joy and contentment flourish in that beautiful place. #joy #peace #contentment #love #kindness #gratitude #grateful #anger #bitterness #resentment #depression #sobriety #healthyrelationships #addiction #relationships #sadness #anxiety #unconditionallove

Anything that annoys you is teaching you patience. Anyone who abandons you is teaching you how to stand up on your own two feet. Anything that angers you is teaching you forgiveness and compassion. Anything that has power over you is teaching you how to take your power back. Anything you hate is teaching you unconditional love. Anything you fear is teaching you courage to overcome your fear. Anything you cant control is teaching you how to let go.

Life is a moment to moment affair. Your circumstances in this moment don't have to be your circumstances tomorrow or next week. The only thing constant in life is change. In this moment you may be feeling down, full of despair, hopeless, loss of control and stuck. This is not permanent, if you allow the space needed to be able to orchestrate the circumstances, situations, opportunities and people to enter your life to help repair. My dearest friend is Jordan Binnington's mom,... (Lindsay) we have known each other since grade 7 and I have watched how our lives have changed year by year, day by day. Little Jordan enjoy time at our cottage and with my children. For most of you he is the guy in front of the hockey net for the St. Louis Blues. From the time Jordan was 16 his life has changed immensely, but through all that he always made room for change and never gave up. At 16 he was drafted to the Owensound attack, at 18 he was drafted by the St. Louis Blues. He lived in Owensound, Kalamazoo Michigan, play for the Chicago wolves and Boston Bruins farm team. He was then sent to San Antonio Texas and by December he was playing in the NHL. Along the way there were a lot of disappointments, rejections, missed family events, sadness and exhaustion. His life was constantly changing but it was his ability to cope with these changes that mattered. No matter what you're dealing with today, change is possible. Life isn't going to change by clicking your heels together nor is it going to happen instantly. Be where you are today, surround yourself with supportive people and ask for help. #nhlplayoffs #nhl #positivechange #support #jordanbinnington #mentalhealthawareness #depression #positiveinfluence #unconditionallove #anxiety #sobriety See more

What is more difficult for you, leaving your comfort zone or staying in your comfort zone? #Routine #ComfortZone #UnhealthyRoutine #Freedom #Stuck #Change #Health #Wellness #Depression #Anxiety #Fear #Relationships #Unhealthychoices

It is during the worst storm of your life that you get to see the true colours of the people who say they care about you. #care #unconditionallove #healthyrelationships #depression #anxiety

Just finished our first free group online sessions. It went very well and it was great to help out the men in the group who could not afford support. I am starting a new group in April. Pass this along to anyone who could benefit. www.fromtheheartofaddiction.com This is what some of the guys said: "This was my first time attending a group in response to my drug addiction. I had been hesitant to go to a group in my community, but the format of online video has made it easier..., with less feelings of shame. Debbie's analysis has been extremely valuable and the group interaction has also meant a lot to me. We have actually formed a Whatsapp group outside of our group just to stay in touch and provide support. I would recommend this group with Debbie for anyone struggling with any kind of addiction." Sam "At first it was difficult to share my story, also I'm not used to feeling safe opening up about my feelings. Debbie is very good about making everyone comfortable, not asking anything more than a person is willing to give. I can tell she puts a lot of thought into our sessions, tailoring to the needs of our group, rather than sticking to a structured outline. She must really want to help people, cause I know I'm not paying for her time in the group. I seem to be the only one in our group with no experience with a recovery program in addiction. Debbie, has made me feel very welcome & safe. We are very blessed to live in a time with the technology we have to participate in a much needed process without having to leave the house. Jim #support #recovery #sobriety #soberliving #livingsober #addiction #freesupport #sober #soberlife #alcohol #drugs #gambling #food #slaa #sa #aa #ga #drugaddiction #alcoholaddiction #addictionawareness

I'm speechless about this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsqvliyTQwY&feature=youtu.be

Hi everyone my website is up and running. For those of you who have been following this new addition to my practice please pass it on to anyone who may benefit from this. It is all online. Although the site is specific to sex addiction I am open to alcohol and drug addiction as well.https://www.fromtheheartofaddiction.com/

A colleague of mine posted this and I wanted to share it with you. Whether you support the legalization of Marijuana or not, this is an interesting read......With all of the people extolling the benefits of Marijuana and the fact that the Canadian government has now legalized Marijuana, many are probably wondering, How bad can this drug be? I decided it was time to inform you of the adverse effects of this drug. There is medicinal Marijuana and recreational Marijuana. The m...Continue reading

Fantastic day hosting therapists, networking and brainstorming on how to help our clients.

I am a part of a new foundation that helps addicts get the support they need. The Foundation was set up by a gentleman who is a recovering addict himself and wanted to give back. This is his way of helping the addiction community. I am a Therapist and have an online practice across the country helping addicts live a life better than they have ever known with sobriety. This group does not take the place of individual therapy or couples counselling but is an add on to their sup...port. It is in an online group setting with a max of 6 people per group. It is for addicts or partners of addicts (in separate groups). If you know of any sex, porn, love addicts or alcoholics that are dedicated to their recovery but have limited finances and are looking for support free of charge please contact me at [email protected] Thank you Debbie Allen www.asafeplacetoheal.ca See more

Check out my website as I just recently added some new areas. www.asafeplacetoheal.ca

When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6SyYO0jnFI&feature=youtu.be

As more and more people in society continue to struggle with addiction on a daily basis especially sex and porn addiction, these new technologies make it more enticing, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex83dhTn0IU

This was sent to me this morning. It is worth the read as approached Oct 17th. *It's high time we took a breath from marijuana commercialization* By BOB TROYER | Guest Commentary September 28, 2018 at 4:51 pm...Continue reading

Debbie Allen Every struggle in life will either make you bitter or better, you must decide which one. #struggle #life #lifestruggles #bitter #better #addiction #sobriety #resentment #relationships #challenge #gratitude #lifesjourney #seekhelp #health #wellness #abetterlife #abetteryou #recovery #lifechanging #lifehelp #timetoheal

http://theconversation.com/with-teen-mental-health-deterior

When you have clearly hurt someone, they have told you they are hurt and angry, why is it so difficult to apologize? This is an age old questions that seems to be getting worse in our society as time passes. Sometimes it's pride, ego, lack empathy or other reasons. Embracing another person's feelings or perspective, saying sorry and truly making amends for what you have done can be virtually impossible for some people.... Im sorry is one of the first things we learn to say as children, yet some adults refuse to apologize even when theyre clearly in the wrong. Why is that: 1. Some people have trouble separating their actions from their character. I made a mistake vs I am a mistake Apologies represent a threat to their basic sense of identity and self-esteem. 2. Apologizing might open the door to guilt which in turn can open the door to shame. While guilt makes people feel bad about their actions, shame makes non-apologists feel bad about their selveswho they arewhich is what makes shame a far more toxic emotion than guilt. 3. Non-apologists fear that by apologizing, they would assume full responsibility and relieve the other party of any culpability. 4. Some people view apologizing as a sign of weakness and vulnerability. 5. By refusing to apologize, non-apologists often are trying to manage their own emotions. They often feel more comfortable with anger, irritability, and emotional distance Experiencing emotional closeness and vulnerability is extremely threatening to them. They can even take it a step further and be like a prickly porcupine if others get to close to them emotionally. Its a safety net to protect their hearts. These are people that have been hurt in the past by others and they will not let anyone get near them emotionally. 6. Some will avoid apologizing by minimizing their actions and using phrases such as, I didnt mean it, thats not who I am, thanks for telling me, I was only kidding. These are often insulting and offensive to the receiving person as they are responses with no accountability. It is very difficult for the person on the receiving side to forgive when the offending person wont own what they have done.

Here are the five stages of grief if you had parents/parent that had limited love and empathy for you. Acceptance is moved to the top because without it you cannot move on to deal with the other feelings. 1) Acceptance: accepting that one or both parents had limited love and empathy to give. 2)Denial: A child needs love above all else. It was easier to deny that one or both parents were incapable of love. 3) Bargaining: wishing and hoping they will change. Coming at it at a d...ifferent angle each time hoping this time will be different. 4)Anger: feeling anger and rage that your emotional needs were not met. Anger towards yourself for continuing the pattern with one or both parents. 5)Depression: feelings of intense sadness of having to let go of the hope and maybe even the relationship. Letting go of all expectations. #acceptance #accepted #denial #grief #bargaining #anger #rage #depression #depressed #love #empathy #recovery #hope #loveyourself #bewithpeoplethatloveyou #unconditionallove #sadness See more

Is it the most wonderful time of the year? For some absolutely, for others not so much. Does it feel like you are the only one that isnt going to be having a joyous time? You are not alone? There are so many people who feel alone and isolate over the holidays. Here are a few ideas: LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS: It is very easy to get caught up with songs, commercials, magazine advertisements, peoples conversations and suddenly your wondering, but what about me? WRITE YOUR OWN ...SCRIPT, change it up. Go to a movie, organize something with others that are alone, see if you can visit others, travel and experience a new adventure. REACH OUT: Very few people are going to post lonely and miserable this holiday season So reach out on social media and see who is available, volunteer somewhere, open your home to others for a meal. ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS: Instead of avoiding or denying your feelings, accept them as they are. Put into words the most likely reasons for your loneliness. Take control of those feelings and accept them as neither good nor bad, but just as they are. Be kind to yourself and believe that you can change the loneliness you feel. Reach out to a therapist to talk about it, work through it. RESIST THE URGE TO ISOLATE OR IGNOR OTHERS: Sometimes when we're feeling down or lonely, we feel even greater desire to isolate ourselves from others. Reach out to an old friend who you haven't spoken with in a while. Talk by phone, text, or in person. Spend time one-on-one with friends and family or in small groups of three or four people to have a more personal connection with them around the holidays. Sometimes large parties or gatherings can feel isolating if you're not feeling connected to the people there. Being in a smaller group may make it easier for you to relax and connect with people. Give yourself ample time to recover after these gatherings if they are difficult for you. LOOK AFTER YOU and give yourself what you need over this busy season. See more

I'm Doing An Instagram Giveaway. Please enter to win. Find me @asafeplacetoshare I've teamed up with @superguysober2.0 to do a giveaway. Mick has been a great inspiration and support for people struggling with addiction. I am a therapist passionate about helping addicts and mental health issues. Together we want to spread the word, "you can have a life better than you have ever known" The draw will be on Sunday November 12th. Two winners, two prizes. Tell your friends and family across Canada.

Better to do something imperfect than to do nothing flawlessly. #forgiveyourself #forgive #perfection #sobriety #addiction #fear #holdingback #takeachance #individual #indivduals #stepout #deepbreath #youcandoit

I woke this morning struck by something so ever-present. Whenever the human race is struck by tragedy there is this pendulum effect that swings the other way and I begin to hear of miraculous moments of kindness, compassion, empathy, gentleness, generosity and people coming along side and reaching out to others. The strength of the human spirit is demonstrated in a profound way when viewed through tragedy. Often we spend our days listening to the news, working and going about... our lives with our eyes wide shut but with tragedy the blind is lifted and eyes are wide open. In tragedy we see the strength of the human spirit as we face seemingly overwhelming circumstances and odds. Hope, resilience and triumph is made stronger through tragedy. People of all different races, religions, backgrounds, income status band together to survive, aid and triumph. Helping others gets us out of our heads of what we dont have, what we want, other negative thoughts and shifts us to the other side of thankfulness, gratitude and living in the moment. #gratitude #livinginthemoment #generosity #kindness #empathy #tragedy #compassion #miraculous See more

Why connect in- person? TOUCH:builds trust. Often, when people meet face-to-face, they touch each other. This can be a handshake a hug from a friend or a business-appropriate touch on the arm at the end of a meeting. Touch causes the centers of the brain associated with rewards to activate. You are literally conveying warmth, something you can't do digitally. HIDDEN MESSAGES: They are in non-verbal communication/body language. Peoples pupils dilate when they are happy or e...xcited, and constrict when they are sad. Its harder to hide reality in person. MIRRORING EMOTIONS: when you see a person take some action, your brain fires up the neurons associated with the same action. When your conversation partner smiles, a part of your brain smiles too. ACTIVITIES: With real life friends, you can go out to galleries, to your favorite restaurant, concerts, courses, coffee shopping and do things together you both enjoy. POSITIVES: online/remote meetings are an excellent option for when distances between participants are very great, time is limited or getting together is impossible. These meetings can be more time-efficient because travel time is significantly reduced or the person lives in a remote area. But for friendships, you can't beat the connection of meeting in person. Take the time, hide your phone and sit across from someone special to you and connect. #connection #friendshipgoals #slowdownplease #unplug #liveinthemoment #touch #livelifetothefullest #meetinperson #lovedones #selfcare See more

None of us wake up one morning and say "Today is the day I am going to destroy my life" ARE YOU STUCK ? https://www.youtube.com/watch

Have you felt so much that you started to feel nothing? #suppression #numbness #apathy #silence #abuse #pain #acceptance #sadness #grief #lackofreaction #lackofemotion

When you make a commitment, you build hope. When you keep a commitment you build trust. #trust #hope #honesty #sobriety #infidelity #addiction #integrity

EXCUSES TO USE, BECAME REASONS TO GET SOBER Start living a life better than you have every known. #sobriety #addiction #nomoreexcuses #purejoy #codependent #strength #bepresent #reachoutforhelp #imrighthere