Evita Consulting

I finally had some energy so decided to put a post together this morning. These are some games I’ve been playing with my kids over FaceTime while I’m stuck in my room sick! * * Sorry to disappoint you parents- but kids don’t want to just talk to their parents about their day. I’ve learned this the hard way. I just want to scream TELL ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE!... and they won’t, as much as you beg. So I’ve found playing fun, silly games helps us to connect, gets them talking, and always leaves everyone in a good mood. You may not being having the deep, philosophical, meaningful conversations you hope for- but you are setting the stage for them to come and talk to you when they do have something important they want to share. Have fun!

Dr. Gordon Neufeld pointed this out in a lecture I heard him speak at and it’s stuck with me for a long time. It reminds me of Dan Siegel’s hand model of the brain (scroll back through my feed to read a thorough overview of that). * * Holding more than one emotion at a time is important. We can all do it. And it’s a sign of maturity. But, there are times - especially in children and teens whose brains are still developing - that this is quite literally impossible in the mome...nt. And, if we as adults have not learned or were modelled unresourceful ways to handle our emotions as we were growing up, this might also be difficult for us. * The good news! We, as parents can LEARN. Through mindfulness, practise, self compassion and growth we can learn the skills it takes to keep our temper balanced. And as we model that learning for our kids, they will also begin to learn how to do it too. * * Just remember regulate before you educate so that both you and your child/teen can be in a state of mind where connection and growth can occur. Good luck parents! This is important work! See more

This one might be a tough one to come to terms with for some, and it can be hard to implement... but hear me out. * When we give consequences to our kids because of behaviour challenges what do we want? We want them to stop the mistaken, Un-resourceful or damaging behaviour yes? But behind that what we all really want is for our child to LEARN what to do INSTEAD of that behaviour. * Did you know it can take 3 months to build a habit? 3 months of repeating the same thing day ...in and day out until it comes to a point where we are doing that think without really thinking about it. Our kids and teens need help practising habit building for resourceful behaviour. What that means is... it’s not enough to just give a consequence for the unwanted behaviour- you have to give an expectation of the desired behaviour and then give them opportunities to PRACTISE. * Here is an example: Your 12 year old feisty preteen daughter is screaming at her younger brother for sitting beside her watching a show and just simply being alive - leave me alone you’re so annoying I HATE YOU!... in comes parent. Those are unkind words. In this house we use words to build each other up. 5 minutes later you hear her screaming again you’re such an IDIOT. You’re so DUMB! In comes parent those are unkind words. In this house we use words to build each other up. You have lost your tv privileges for 1 hour where you can show me you know how to use kind and gentle words when you need something * The consequence is logical- she’s yelling at her brother while watching tv. The reaction from the parents is clear... this is what you did wrong, this is our expectation. And you have given her an OPPORTUNITY to PRACTISE what to do differently for the next hour. This is the start of habit building... if the opportunity for practise is too long- it won’t be worth it, she might as well not even try. Give short spurts of directed opportunities to practise and then PRAISE when you see it. * We cannot expect our kids to just *know what healthy and appropriate expression of frustrations are without teaching them first. They need our help. That’s your job. * This can be hard. Please ask any questions below See more

Something about how many people teach the enneagram that sort of rubs me the wrong way is that it seems to only focus on what we need to change, or do differently. Yes, the enneagram is so helpful for helping us understand our deeper motivations and desires and fears and it’s when we recognize and bring awareness to those things that we can start to undo some of the false stories we’ve learned to tell ourselves. HOWEVER~ I think we tend to forget that it’s also GOOD and BEAUTIFUL to be who you are and it’s also important to embrace those things about yourself that make you... YOU! * * We need all kinds of people in this world. Take a moment and give yourself compassion, and some appreciation for making the world go round just the way you are so good at doing naturally.

Who struggles with setting limits? Did you know our kids actually crave limits? And the reason why they keep pushing is because they’re looking for the boundary? This is one of the hardest things about being a parent but so important.

The question I get asked the most often- BY FAR is some form of how do I parent my child from their enneagram type... and my answer isn’t always what people want to hear. We can’t. The thing we have to focus on the most is leaning into the best of your own type as a parent. However, That doesn’t mean the enneagram can’t help us at all in terms of recognizing our children’s emerging types. * * Read all 10 slides to find out 3 strategies parents can use to help their children... on their own journey and 4 tips for recognizing an emerging type in a child/teen (hint- it doesn’t come down to their number at all). * * Any other ideas on how to pick up on where your child might be coming from at any given moment? Please share them here! See more

Sometimes parenting from the best of your enneagram type takes a total shift in your inner self talk. These are just nine ways we can use language to help us stay encouraged, empowered and motivated as parents. Can you think of any other affirmations or mantras that you say to yourself for empowerment, encouragement or motivation as a parent? Share them with me here! * * *... * * * * * #enneagram #enneagramtype #personalitytypes #thekinparentapproach #enneagram1 #enneagram2 #enneagram3 #enneagram4 #enneagram5 #enneagram6 #enneagram7 #enneagram8 #enneagram9 #positiveparenting #parentingpersonality #mindfulparenting See more

The enneagram focus of attention are 9 ways in which our deepest needs and desires are honed in on in order function in the world. We tend to direct our energy toward this one aspect of life in order to feel safe. This focus can lead us to use our conditioned defence mechanisms if we are not aware and open to incorporating other ways to meet our needs too. * * How do you see your FOA Showing up in your every day life?

I am so thrilled to announce that you are invited to join me on a 4 week journey toward building a thriving family. Swipe > to see all the details, and how you can get a discount. * * This 4 session workshop is built to help you, as parents & caregivers reach inside yourselves to find the unique gifts and strengths you bring to your family, and use them toward creating deep bonds of love, and respect in your home. *... * This workshop is one of the ways I offer my program the KIN Parent Approach. It is 4 Sundays starting February 21, where we connect intentionally with other parents & caregivers, building community togethet as we learn new tools for our parenting journeys * * If you want to sign up or need more details please DM me here or email me at [email protected]. I can’t wait to start! See more

Do you ever feel like you’re practically pulling teeth to get your kid to tell you about their day? How was school, what did you do today? gets a response of it was fine or I don’t know.... then it turns into how do you not know? You must have something to say, which in turn makes your kid shut down even more. Maybe it’s because we’re asking the wrong questions? * * After a long day of school, oftentimes the last thing a child wants to do is rack their brain to come u...p with something interesting to appease their parents of their seemingly nagging and incessant questions. For us, we know it’s coming from a place of love, concern and true interest... but for them? It might just feel like a chore (especially when we get annoyed with the answers they do give us). I know this is a battle for many of us! * * These are some age appropriate questions to ask instead of how was school today? For younger kids, making them open ended, fun, goofy and not too serious in order to create a quality connection with your kids. For older kids, sure sometimes they can be fun and goofy, but also- ASK THEIR OPINIONS! Show them that you’re interested in what they think and what they have to say. See more

Enneagram Cast Bio ~ Type 7 Swipe to see all 3 slides * * I get tired of hearing about the types from a 3rd person experience. I have a hard time finding myself in those types of descriptions. So I decided to share each of the types with you in a new/fresh way. First @martiamade took my notes and created these characters that we tried to make really represent the energy of each type. And then, using that energy I got from these characters and my knowledge about the enneagra...m I’ve created a sort of cast bio if you will of the 9 types. * * As always, remember that you may or may not resonate with everything about your number. And also remember you’re so much more than you’re number! It’s not meant to define you, but to enlighten you and help you become more aware. * * What do you resonate with about type 7? Do you see yourself in this description at all? Anything you disagree with or would change? See more

Enneagram Cast Bio ~ Type 9 Swipe to see all 3 slides * * I get tired of hearing about the types from a 3rd person experience. I have a hard time finding myself in those types of descriptions. So I decided to share each of the types with you in a new/fresh way. First @martiamade took my notes and created these characters that we tried to make really represent the energy of each type. And then, using that energy I got from these characters and my knowledge about the enneagra...m I’ve created a sort of cast bio if you will of the 9 types. * * As always, remember that you may or may not resonate with everything about your number. And also remember you’re so much more than you’re number! It’s not meant to define you, but to enlighten you and help you become more aware. * * What do you resonate with about type 9? Do you see yourself in this description at all? Anything you disagree with or would change? See more

Enneagram Cast Bio ~ Type 6 Swipe to see all 3 slides * * I get tired of hearing about the types from a 3rd person experience. I have a hard time finding myself in those types of descriptions. So I decided to share each of the types with you in a new/fresh way. First @martiamade took my notes and created these characters that we tried to make really represent the energy of each type. And then, using that energy I got from these characters and my knowledge about the enneagra...m I’ve created a sort of cast bio if you will of the 9 types. * * As always, remember that you may or may not resonate with everything about your number. And also remember you’re so much more than you’re number! It’s not meant to define you, but to enlighten you and help you become more aware. * * What do you resonate with about type 6? Do you see yourself in this description at all? Anything you disagree with or would change? See more

Enneagram Cast Bio ~ Type 8 Swipe to see all 3 slides * * I get tired of hearing about the types from a 3rd person experience. I have a hard time finding myself in those types of descriptions. So I decided to share each of the types with you in a new/fresh way. First @martiamade took my notes and created these characters that we tried to make really represent the energy of each type. And then, using that energy I got from these characters and my knowledge about the enneagra...m I’ve created a sort of cast bio if you will of the 9 types. * * As always, remember that you may or may not resonate with everything about your number. And also remember you’re so much more than you’re number! It’s not meant to define you, but to enlighten you and help you become more aware. * * What do you resonate with about type8? Do you see yourself in this description at all? Anything you disagree with or would change? See more

Enneagram Cast Bio ~ Type 5 Swipe to see all 3 slides * * I get tired of hearing about the types from a 3rd person experience. I have a hard time finding myself in those types of descriptions. So I decided to share each of the types with you in a new/fresh way. First @martiamade took my notes and created these characters that we tried to make really represent the energy of each type. And then, using that energy I got from these characters and my knowledge about the enneagra...m I’ve created a sort of cast bio if you will of the 9 types. * * As always, remember that you may or may not resonate with everything about your number. And also remember you’re so much more than you’re number! It’s not meant to define you, but to enlighten you and help you become more aware. * * What do you resonate with about type 5? Do you see yourself in this description at all? Anything you disagree with or would change? See more

Enneagram Cast Bio ~ Type 4 Swipe to see all 3 slides * * I get tired of hearing about the types from a 3rd person experience. I have a hard time finding myself in those types of descriptions. So I decided to share each of the types with you in a new/fresh way. First @martiamade took my notes and created these characters that we tried to make really represent the energy of each type. And then, using that energy I got from these characters and my knowledge about the enneagra...m I’ve created a sort of cast bio if you will of the 9 types. * * As always, remember that you may or may not resonate with everything about your number. And also remember you’re so much more than you’re number! It’s not meant to define you, but to enlighten you and help you become more aware. * * What do you resonate with about type 4? Do you see yourself in this description at all? Anything you disagree with or would change? See more

Enneagram Cast Bio ~ Type 3 Swipe to see all 3 slides * * I get tired of hearing about the types from a 3rd person experience. I have a hard time finding myself in those types of descriptions. So I decided to share each of the types with you in a new/fresh way. First @martiamade took my notes and created these characters that we tried to make really represent the energy of each type. And then, using that energy I got from these characters and my knowledge about the enneagra...m I’ve created a sort of cast bio if you will of the 9 types. * * As always, remember that you may or may not resonate with everything about your number. And also remember you’re so much more than you’re number! It’s not meant to define you, but to enlighten you and help you become more aware. * * What do you resonate with about type 3? Do you see yourself in this description at all? Anything you disagree with or would change? See more

Enneagram Cast Bio ~ Type 2 Swipe to see all 3 slides * * I get tired of hearing about the types from a 3rd person experience. I have a hard time finding myself in those types of descriptions. So I decided to share each of the types with you in a new/fresh way. First @martiamade took my notes and created these characters that we tried to make really represent the energy of each type. And then, using that energy I got from these characters and my knowledge about the enneagra...m I’ve created a sort of cast bio if you will of the 9 types. * * As always, remember that you may or may not resonate with everything about your number. And also remember you’re so much more than you’re number! It’s not meant to define you, but to enlighten you and help you become more aware. * * What do you resonate with about type 2? Do you see yourself in this description at all? Anything you disagree with or would change? See more