Family Kinnections

"I am writing today about the children of this pandemic. After a lifetime of working among the young, I feel compelled to address the concerns that are being ex...pressed by so many of my peers about the deficits the children will demonstrate when they finally return to school. My goodness, what a disconcerting thing to be concerned about in the face of a pandemic which is affecting millions of people around the country and the world. It speaks to one of my biggest fears for the children when they return. In our determination to 'catch them up,’ I fear we will lose who they are and what they have learned during this unprecedented era. What on earth are we trying to catch them up on? The models no longer apply, the benchmarks are no longer valid, the trend analyses have been interrupted. We must not forget that those arbitrary measures were established by people, not ordained by God. We can make those invalid measures as obsolete as a crank up telephone! They simply do not apply. When the children return to school, they will have returned with a new history that we will need to help them identify and make sense of. When the children return to school, we will need to listen to them. Let their stories be told. They have endured a year that has no parallel in modern times. There is no assessment that applies to who they are or what they have learned. Remember, their brains did not go into hibernation during this year. Their brains may not have been focused on traditional school material, but they did not stop either. Their brains may have been focused on where their next meal is coming from, or how to care for a younger sibling, or how to deal with missing grandma, or how it feels to have to surrender a beloved pet, or how to deal with death. Our job is to welcome them back and help them write that history. I sincerely plead with my colleagues, to surrender the artificial constructs that measure achievement and greet the children where they are, not where we think they 'should be.' Greet them with art supplies and writing materials, and music and dance and so many other avenues to help them express what has happened to them in their lives during this horrific year. Greet them with stories and books that will help them make sense of an upside-down world. They missed you. They did not miss the test prep. They did not miss the worksheets. They did not miss the reading groups. They did not miss the homework. They missed you. Resist the pressure from whatever ‘powers that be’ who are in a hurry to ‘fix’ kids and make up for the ‘lost’ time. The time was not lost, it was invested in surviving a historic period of time in their livesin our lives. The children do not need to be fixed. They are not broken. They need to be heard. They need to be given as many tools as we can provide to nurture resilience and help them adjust to a post pandemic world. Being a teacher is an essential connection between what is and what can be. Please, let what can be demonstrate that our children have so much to share about the world they live in and in helping them make sense of what, for all of us has been unimaginable. This will help them-- and us-- achieve a lot more than can be measured by any assessment tool ever devised. Peace to all who work with the children!" #LoveWhatMatters Credit: Teresa Thayer Snyder

Don't miss our social emotional skills class for adolescent girls. Tuesdays from 6-7. Based in DBT and CBT principals, this class offers girls an opportunity to build emotional regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness and interpersonal effectiveness skills through lessons, group discussion and art-based activities. A wonderful addition to individual DBT therapy. https://outschool.com//finding-sunshine-a-social-emotional

Join our new Mindfulness Class for Teens. This flexible schedule class begins in November and offers teens a chance to learn mindfulness for wellbeing. https://outschool.com//a-mindful-path-a-journey-to-emotion

Join our new Finding Sunshine class for girls. An emotional wellbeing class. Tuesdays from 7-8pm. Message us for a link to save $20 https://outschool.com//finding-sunshine-a-social-emotional

New sessions of Sitting Still Like a Frog: Introduction to Mindfulness are now listed. Let me know if you are interested in attending, and I can send you a $20 rebate for Outschool! You essentially get this class for free! https://outschool.com//sitting-still-like-a-frog-introduct

Self-regulating when our children are dysregulated can be challenging. It isn't our fault when we feel dysregulated. There are so many reasons why we feel what ...we do. Our system is simply trying to protect us from perceived threat. As adults, it is our responsibility to practice managing our behavior and understanding the role of all emotions so the big ones are no longer perceived as a threat to our safety and connection. Brain research proves that habitually uncomforted distress leaves a child with toxic levels of stress hormones washing over the brain and throughout the body, whereas regular nurturing during distress helps children develop vital stress-regulating systems in their higher brain, relieving the body of the toxic stress. Simply put, children who are punished, ignored, or purposefully isolated during distress struggle to manage stress in a healthy way later in life, whereas nurtured children learn to comfort themselves and others through empathy and logical thinking. Self-regulation, or the lack thereof, influences every single area of our lives. It is possible to rewire the brain later in life, and many of us are accomplishing this by nurturing and parenting, as we nurture and parent our children. Through conscious communication and compassionate connection, we strengthen ourselves & children, as we practice moving from temporary states of dysregulation to more regular traits of regulation. Give yourself and children plenty of nurturing. Remember this is a life-time practice made more natural with every second we choose to pause and respond with safety and connection. Emotional intelligence will flow more naturally for our grown children. We are sowing the seeds and they will continue to water them to reap the harvest. With love, Lelia www.leliaschott.com Parent Nurturing / Coaching

Starting mid October, join this psychoeducational class!

Join our Outschool class for children 4-7!https://outschool.com//sitting-still-like-a-frog-introduct