Halifax Star-Lord

I finally was able to bring Ezri home yesterday. It was a strange feeling, seeing a little wooden box with her name on it, knowing it contained ashes that at one point were a soft tummy, a friendly purr whenever her name was called and loving kitty kisses whenever her lower back was scratched. It was a strange day. I was fine when I picked her up. I was fine when I got home. I was fine all day. At around 8 pm I went to the workshop to put her in her little place of honour a...nd ended up sitting there for 45 minutes cradling this little box and talking to it. All the memories flooded back. All the good times. All the interactions that we will never have again. I don't generally get attached to people or animals. I have many friends and I've had many pets but I have always believed I had a pretty good grasp on death. Sure when a person I know or a pet dies I'm sad for a day or two but usually, I'm able to accept that it's over. With Ezri gone I feel like I've lost such an important part of myself. It's raw, it hurts and it doesn't seem to want to heal. My world seems so empty without her which is silly because I've got my wife and kids, other pets and my many good friends. Logically I should be fine. I have every support I could possibly require but the only support I want right now more than anything is to hear her little meow one more time. Rub her little belly and fall asleep with her on my chest just purring away. I know it's been three weeks. I know I should be moving past this by now. I know. I just can't seem to do it. Every time I think I'm fine I suddenly remember something that reminds me of her and then I'm a mess all over again. I was looking through my old YouTube videos last night and realized that Ezri was in my very last episode of Seesquee Talks. I had forgotten about that. I remember because I was suddenly very upset and almost deleted the video. I can't walk two feet in my house without memories. She's been everywhere in my home. She followed me everywhere. Sorry for the ramble. I'm just a bag of unchecked feelings this morning. #toabsentfriends #ripkitty

#fivelookchallenge

It’s my 34th birthday and my first as a civilian. Woke up to notes all over the house. I’m so grateful to have such an amazing wife and kids. #itsmybirthday #birthday

New cosplay idea!! #splintercell #samfisher #thirdechelon #fourthechelon

Here's a little side project I'm working on. It's still very much a work in progress. #masseffect #masseffect2 #masseffect3 #masseffectandromeda #masseffectseries #masseffectcosplay #n7 #spectre #cosplayweapons #ender3 #rustoleum