Rebecca Eames Counselling

When we fight anxiety, it fights back. When we ignore anxiety, it talks louder. No matter what we do to try to make it go away, anxiety always finds a way of coming back with more arguments, more concerns, more what ifs and more problems that need fixing. Why does it do this? Because when you try to make it go away you're either engaging with it which means you're telling it you're joining the fight and there's a fight to be won or you're dismissing it and not listening to ...what it has to say. It thinks it has to try something new to get your attention or simply shout louder. Instead of trying to make it go away, say: Hey anxiety. Thanks for telling me that. What you have to say is very interesting. I'd love to get to the bottom of what's REALLY bothering you. Right now though I am not entering into this battle with you. I hear you. I am so grateful you care. You can stay. But I'm going to get on with the life that I care about." #anxietytalk #vancouveranxietytherapy #vancouvercounsellor #anxietyhelpers #workingwithanxiety

Can you willingly be with your pain? One of the goals of therapy is often to help people expand their tolerance for uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, with the hope that we can stop destructive and avoidant behaviours and move towards healing. But what does it actually mean? To be with our pain? To feel? Sometimes the best way to explain something so abstract is through the use of metaphor. The mind loves a metaphor. It takes what it knows from one thing and applies it to ...another. Somehow a metaphor sinks in in ways that words alone do not. These 4 metaphors are taken from ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy) which employs the use of metaphor to help people defuse with thoughts and feelings and lived a values-based and meaningful life. It's powerful and life changing stuff. If you're into it - check out the book Get Out Of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven Hayes. This workbook is a great introduction to ACT. What's been a powerful metaphor in your life? How do you move towards pain and discomfort? I'd love to hear more so comment below. #ACT #acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy #fmanagingpainfulfeelings #therapyforanxiety

WHAT IF I AM ACTUALLY OK? Someone I am working with shared a beautiful piece of wisdom with me during one of our recent sessions and gave me permission to share it here with y’all. After months struggling with anxiety and intrusive thoughts she had a thought that felt different. ... What if I am actually ok? No answer was needed. We sat together for a brief moment of silence, just smiling. WHAT IFs are the language of anxiety. Uncertainty is scary as hell and anxiety knows how to get your attention with MANY a pesky what if. Have you heard these before? What if I have anxiety? What if it’s actually worse than anxiety? What if this feeling never goes away? What if these thoughts never go away? What if I can’t fix this? What if I can’t cope? What if there’s something wrong with me? It's hard to live with a constant stream of WHAT IFS. I know. I've been there. You're not alone. But there's good news. There's a better question - one that allows uncertainty to be unresolved. It remains curious and open-minded. The power of a WHAT IF can be used for good. Are you willing to try these instead? What if what I’m feeling needs to be felt? What if I can have anxiety and live my life anyway? What if there’s nothing wrong with me? What if I just need to stop, let this be here and feel the fear? What if this is a human response to stress? What if I am not broken. What if I’m actually OK? Do you have a long list of what ifs? What ways do you answer back? I’d love to hear how you experience the power of a WHAT IF so comment below. #anxietyrelief #vancouvermentalhealth #therapyinvancouver #anxiousthoughts #therapyforanxiety #anxietyhelp #anxiousminds

COLD WATER Therapy isn’t the only way to support your mental health. Recently I’ve started taking daily cold showers and swimming at the local beach. In Vancouver in the rain. Yikes! ... It’s amazing. My skin feels silky soft. My anxiety has lessened. I feel good about myself knowing I stepped out of my comfort zone. It’s different. It’s fun! There’s other things to love about cold water immersion! IT’S QUICK, SIMPLE & FREE I don’t have to go far or add in an extra task on my to-do list. I turn the shower to cold for 20 seconds after my daily shower. At first 20 seconds was too much - so I started with 5 seconds and built up. I found it easier when I stuck my head under for a few seconds first. IT SHIFTS MY MENTAL STATE QUICKLY When the body is immersed in cold water it activates your sympathetic nervous system/stress response. This means norepinephrine (the adrenaline of the brain) is released, your heart beats faster and you breath more deeply. The result? Feeling alert, focused and ready for action. IT REDUCES STRESS Immersing myself in cold water is stressful but when you repeatedly expose your body to small doses of stress the nervous system gradually learns to handle stress better. There’s a name for this process - it’s called hardening. BOOTS IMMUNITY Research shows that immersing in cold water naturally boosts your metabolic rate and stimulates the body’s immune response helping to fight off viruses and other pathogens. INCREASES TOLERANCE FOR SUFFERING The body isn’t the only thing that hardens to discomfort and stress - so does the mind. It takes a lot of willpower to willingly embrace uncomfortable situations. I noticed it challenged some limiting beliefs. I did something hard and I tolerated it. This is known as top down control and is me taking charge of my brain and it feels empowering. FEELS LIKE ADVENTURE In a time of social distancing and limited travel, life can feel mundane. I take a friend and make a morning of it. We plunge at a local beach, lake or river. The added element of nature and the elements make it feel like a mini-adventure. The coffee/tea and a hot water bottle are my rewards for after! Have you tried cold water showers? What benefits have you noticed?

All the feels for this poem. So many good reminders. I hope it soothes the soul.

Had to hold back the tears on this one. Tears of sadness and and hope. A powerful and beautiful piece of writing on grief. "Grief is a chance to get a hold of that hurting thing, to look at it fully and carefully, to take what’s left of what you’re grieving for and make it into a part of yourself you can take with you. Grief isn’t about expulsion and denial. It’s about consumption and reflection.... Things are scary. We are allowed to be anxious and afraid right now. We have lost a world. You’ve got permission to grieve." https://www.theglobeandmail.com//article-the-life-you-tho/

SENSITIVITY As a kid (or an adult) were you told you were too sensitive? Were you introduced as being shy or quiet? Maybe you were shamed for being this way? Our culture doesn’t do a great job of accepting and celebrating sensitivity. ... But as much as being a highly sensitive person, or HSP, comes with challenges, this awesome personality trait comes with exceptional gifts. Challenges: *you become overwhelmed easily when under pressure. *you often need to spend time alone to recharge and process thoughts and feelings, even if you’re an extrovert. *you can be overstimulated easily by noise, crowds of people and physical closeness. *you absorb the feelings of others around you and feel their feelings as if they were your own. *you’re deeply effected by and find it hard to let go of bad news, disturbing images and violence. *you experience vivid dreams and nightmares. The gifts: *you can empathize with others and relate making you someone who connects deeply and creates meaningful relationships. *you care about the world and hold deep values around social, political and environmental issues. *you have a deep appreciation of nature and experience it beauty on a deep and visceral level. *you have an incredible ability to create and experience art, music and poetry - so much so that it move you to tears. *you consider the feelings of others and take great care in how you communicate and behave. *you have what it takes to be a great leader! You work well in teams and when you sensitivity is celebrated you inspire, receive loyalty and respect, and people follow your example. There’s so much more to being a HSP than what’s here in this post and I recommend reading The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr Diane Aron if you want to get more information and insight. But thee important point I want to make is that there’s so much GOOD STUFF about being sensitive. If only we could learn to embrace this trait more and find compassion for our natural gifts instead of shaming ourselves and others. So today I say, Big up to #hsps - I’m one of you and I love ALL of who you are. #highlysenstiveperson #nottoosensitive #personalitytraits

So interesting and I look forward to what the findings will be on this. My hope is that parents across the world will be given more support and time for rest.

Human connection is vital. Hugs are vital. Seeing these children in their emotions after their first hug had me in tears. This past three months have been tough. Being embraced by another human is where we belong.

Inner child work is powerful. On my journey it offered a transformative path and process for healing past attachment wounds. Last week I was called to spend some time with 8-year-old Becky (as a kid I was always Becky) and wowzers, it turns out she’s an insightful and wise little lady. Her guidance was simple and clear. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t forget to play. Be curious. Never dim your light. ... When was the last time you had a play date with your inner child? When was the last time you listened to one another, felt with one another and walked alongside one another with kindness and compassion? #innerchild #traumainformed #healing #play