Meristem Counselling Services
603 Argus Road, Suite 209 L6J4R9 Oakville, ON, Canada

OUR COMMITTMENT In light of the current social climate, it is important to use our voice to stand for what is right. We, at Meristem Counselling Services, condemn racism, bigotry and oppression in any form. We are deeply saddened and grieve for, more recently, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and all the many others who have been the victims of senseless violence because of the colour of their skin. We stand in solidarity with individuals facing systemic injustice... and those who have joined them in protest. As our society struggles to understand the heartbreaking and frightening events that have unfolded in Philadelphia over the past week, and systematically throughout our nation’s history, we hope that we can contribute in some way, even if it is simply awareness and education, toward positive change in the inequality and hardship faced by persons impacted by racism. We are dedicated to helping individuals from all racial, religious and socioeconomic backgrounds heal and lead meaningful lives. We strive to be aware of our own role in injustice and ingrained biases and prejudices that may hinder our therapeutic work with clients. We continue to be committed to being a part of the solution and providing equal access to counselling services to everyone. With this forever in mind, we believe that we can help shape our world to be a more kind, tolerant and accepting place - one person at a time.

HOW CAN I BE A GREAT STEPPARENT? Is it just me, or are stepfamilies becoming more and more prevalent? Creating a healthy stepfamily can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. If you have children from a previous relationship and you’re considering a relationship with another special someone with kids, there are a few things you may want to consider to help ease the transition. First, sit down and discuss your expectations as it relates to topics like buying a house together..., purchasing a car, date night, soccer practices and many other things. It’s better to have an idea of what you think it should look like, but adaptability is key. How will you handle discipline? Is it okay for the stepparent to discipline their spouse’s child? Trust me, it is often more assuring to kids (and their other parent) if their own biological parent disciplines them. What about bonding with the kids? The bond stepparents have with their stepchild is immensely important for healthy and stable stepfamilies. You both should be able to talk about each child and feel that you are heard, but when it comes to children, consider the fact that marrying their parent is a BIG deal. Remember that you aren’t there to replace their father or mother, so focus on encouraging and building your own relationships with the children, and do whatever it takes to accomplish this. What about holidays? Taking into account that the kids will spend time with both biological parents during the holidays, work to create new traditions and ask for the kids’ input for making the transitions a little easier. When the biological parents talk directly and make arrangements ahead of time, it can lessen confusion. Encourage family meetings so all the children feel equally heard and valued during the process. Although blending families is no easy task, discussing things like these ahead of time can help everyone prepare well for the journey ahead. And remember, it's not a science. Be kind to yourself, mistakes will happen, but it's how you repair that will make the difference.

Do you know any teen who is struggling with social anxiety? This may be their chance to build social confidence:

TRY THIS... I read a blog recently about a vital communication skill called active listening. Therapist, Jennifer Jill Schwirzer, said that "being heard and understood soothes the soul". This is so true. I would go as far as saying that it feels freeing and fulfilling. It creates a sense of connection and confirmation of who we are - our sense of self. We derive strength, value and hope from someone really listening to us. We feel like we belong and exist and are worthy of attention. This is powerful! Give it a try, really listen to someone by dropping whatever you are doing, looking at them straight in the eye with interest and concern, and reflecting back what you heard. You might be surprised at how effective and bonding this skill can be. You'll be on your way to becoming a master communicator!

Amplifying the negative is a cognitive distortion that only gets worse if not challenged and changed.