Vancouver Counselling
1892 West Broadway V6J 1Y9 Vancouver, BC, Canada

Just an update as far as Walk and Talk sessions, which are now starting at Huckleberry Trailhead, located just west of Imperial Drive on the South side of 16th Avenue. Lots of free parking on Imperial and 16th. https://goo.gl/maps/qLrkddf5fp38hgRb7

We can mistakenly think that being compassionate is just about understanding/helping other people. What often happens, even with our best intensions in mind, is that we end up taking on a role of power, creating a dynamic of being the saviour, the fixer, the one to be dependent on. Though this role may feel empowering, it often perpetuates a sense of helpless, dependence, even emotional/psychological enslavement. What if we took the approach of power with, wherein respect, m...utual support, solidarity, and collaborative decision making becomes the modus operandi. How would that change the way you respond and see people? How would your approach change if you didn't think in terms of us or them, but rather the collective we? . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #radicalcompassion #srinisargadattamaharaj #tarabrach #mindfulness #jevanscounselling @jevanscounselling See more

Wanted to thank everyone who was able to join in on the Instagram Live Discussion/Q & A yesterday! Claudia and I will be meeting Live every Monday at 5:30 PST for the month of May, delving into more aspects of compassion and other related stuff! Instagram inks are below.... BTW, hope to do a live video on Facebook in the near future, and will keep you updated. @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling @jevanscounselling

What if we took the approach of power with, wherein respect, mutual support, solidarity, and collaborative decision making becomes the modus operandi. How would that change the way you respond and see people? How would your approach change if you didnt think in terms of us or them, but rather the collective we?

We can mistakenly think that being compassionate is just about understanding/helping other people. What often happens, even with our best intensions in mind, is that we end up taking on a role of power, creating a dynamic of being the saviour, the fixer, the one to be dependent on. Though this role may feel empowering, it often perpetuates a sense of helpless, dependence, even emotional/psychological enslavement. What if we took the approach of power with, wherein respect, m...utual support, solidarity, and collaborative decision making becomes the modus operandi. How would that change the way you respond and see people? How would your approach change if you didnt think in terms of us or them, but rather the collective we? . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #powerwith #aboriginalactivistsgroup #empowerment #mindfulness#radicalcompassion #jevanscounselling @jevanscounselling See more

It seems like ages since I've posted something, and I hope everyone is having a fantastic summer. I've trying to get out into the great outdoors as much as possible, but still managing to get some reading in. Currently, I'm delving into Radical Compassion, by Tara Brach, and today's quote is taken from this book. The importance of actually seeing people is a practice in itself, and that's such a vital part of my own personal/professional life that I keep coming back to....th...e healing power of being seen. . . . #selfcompassion #compassion #anthonydemello #beingseen #radicalcompassion #tarabrach #jevanscounselling @jevanscounselling See more

Toots Hibbert has Sailed on...... A true inspiration in so many ways. Was fortunate enough to attend many Toots and the Maytals shows, and had the honour of meeting him way back in 2005. My heart goes out to all those who have lost a loved one. Though their physical form has Sailed on, their spirit is the wind, the breeze, a gentle reminder that they are always with you..... .... . . #sailingon #tootsandthemaytals #tootshibbert #rip #gratitude See more

Lately I've been thinking about my own unconscious biases, which a difficult thing to unpack because of they're implicit in nature. How does one become aware of beliefs/biases that they're unaware of? A first step for me has been realizing how my own experience as a white male has shaped my world view. For instance, I can walk the streets at night without worrying that I might be harassed or attacked because of my race and/or gender. I can drive my car without ever consider...ing being pulled over because of my race. I can go pretty much anywhere by myself (ex. pub, concert, movie theatre) and feel completely safe. How would my view of the world/society be different if I was a person of colour or women? It's a challenging one to think about in such hypothetical terms, and that's why listening and educating myself has been so important. To dig even deeper I highly recommend taking the Harvard Implicit Bias test, which is free and the link is below. https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/canada/takeatest.html How this all relates to compassion is a topic that I'll be exploring in future posts. . . . #implicitbias #unconsciousbias #jiddukrishnamurti #compassion #selfcompassion #jevanscounselling See more

Another practice of compassion is looking to see the goodness in others, or what Tara Brach describes as positive mirroring. This involves pausing to notice what we dont like or seems wrong, and then shifting to observe what you appreciate about this person. It could be just saying to yourself, "Theyre doing the best that they can". Notice how this shift in perspective affects the way you relate to this person, and how this is mirrored back at you. . .... . #compassion #selfcompassion #tarabrach #nelsonmandela #mindfulness #postivemirrorspositive #jevanscounselling See more

It seems like ages since Ive posted something, and I hope everyone is having a fantastic summer. Ive trying to get out into the great outdoors as much as possible, but still managing to get some reading in. Currently, Im delving into Radical Compassion, by Tara Brach, and todays quote is taken from this book. The importance of actually seeing people is a practice in itself, and thats such a vital part of my own personal/professional life that I keep coming back to....th...e healing power of being seen. . . . #selfcompassion #compassion #anthonydemello #beingseen #radicalcompassion #tarabrach #jevanscounselling @jevanscounselling See more

Angela Davis is truly an inspiration, and today's quote embodies the Yang qualities of compassion-standing up for justice, liberty and freedom. I've included a link of a recent interview Angela Davis did on Democracy Now, and really encourage everyone to watch 13th (on Netflix), which she is interviewed throughout the documentary. Hope to see you Vancouver folks at the Freedom March on Friday (June 19th) starting at Jack Poole Plaza at 4:00 PM. https://www.democracynow.org//...angela_davis_on_abolition_ca . . . @freedommarchvancouver #compassion #selfcompassion #angeladavis #jevanscounselling See more

Such turbulent times we're living in, and so easy to take comfort in expressing opinions, arguing and/or shaming others. As a person of privilege I'm so hesitant to give any advice, but I strongly encourage you to pause and listen to people of colour, learn some history, and gain a deeper understanding of these protests/social movement is happening. @blackvancouver suggest the following resources: Fruitvale Station, Selma, Do the Right Thing, 12 Years a Slave, If Beale Stree...t Could Talk, Get Out, The Hate U . . . @blackvancouver #compassion #blacklivesmatter See more

For more information go to @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling

Lately Ive been thinking about my own unconscious biases, which a difficult thing to unpack because of theyre implicit in nature. How does one become aware of beliefs/biases that theyre unaware of? A first step for me has been realizing how my own experience as a white male has shaped my world view. For instance, I can walk the streets at night without worrying that I might be harassed or attacked because of my race and/or gender. I can drive my car without ever consider...ing being pulled over because of my race. I can go pretty much anywhere by myself (ex. pub, concert, movie theatre) and feel completely safe. How would my view of the world/society be different if I was a person of colour or women? Its a challenging one to think about in such hypothetical terms, and thats why listening and educating myself has been so important. To dig even deeper I highly recommend taking the Harvard Implicit Bias test, which is free and the link is below. https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/canada/takeatest.html How this all relates to compassion is a topic that Ill be exploring in future posts. . . . #implicitbias #unconsciousbias #jiddukrishnamurti #compassion #selfcompassion #jevanscounselling See more

Angela Davis is truly an inspiration, and todays quote embodies the Yang qualities of compassion-standing up for justice, liberty and freedom. Ive included a link of a recent interview Angela Davis did on Democracy Now, and really encourage everyone to watch 13th (on Netflix), which she is interviewed throughout the documentary. Hope to see you Vancouver folks at the Freedom March on Friday (June 19th) starting at Jack Poole Plaza at 4:00 PM. https://www.democracynow.org//...angela_davis_on_abolition_ca . . . @freedommarchvancouver #compassion #selfcompassion #angeladavis #jevanscounselling See more

Such turbulent times were living in, and so easy to take comfort in expressing opinions, arguing and/or shaming others. As a person of privilege Im so hesitant to give any advice, but I strongly encourage you to pause and listen to people of colour, learn some history, and gain a deeper understanding of these protests/social movement is happening. @blackvancouver suggest the following resources: Fruitvale Station, Selma, Do the Right Thing, 12 Years a Slave, If Beale Stree...t Could Talk, Get Out, The Hate U . . . @blackvancouver #compassion #blacklivesmatter See more

#blackouttuesday

It's been a struggle the last few days thinking about compassion, and trying to process it from my own place of privilege. Growing up as white male I spent most of my life completely oblivious to all of the advantages that were simply laid out in front of me. The world was created for me, in the TV shows I watched, the unearned respect/acceptance I received, the fact that opportunities were given to me without question. I never to consider whether my worthiness was based on m...y gender or skin colour, and coasted through a great deal of my life thinking all my accomplishments were earned and deserved. Awareness is such an important step, but the challenging thing is what to do with that awareness. Knowing that I'm a benefactor of colonization is a heavy one to sit with, and wonder how does compassion for self and others fit into the mix. I shared this quote today, because right now it's the only thing that makes sense to me. Still I question how are we supposed to love people that do such hateful/horrible things? I get how to be compassionate towards people that are oppressed or discriminated against, but how about towards the racist oppressors? From Dr. King's perspective, what does it mean to truly love? . . . #drmartinlutherkingjr #love #compassion #selfcompassion #privilege #mindfulness #jevanscounselling See more

Starting in about two hours (Monday June 1st) at 5:30 PM PST going on Instagram Live to talk about the compassionate practice of Making Amends and Forgiving. Claudia and I will be taking taking questions, so if you already have one in mind feel free to put them in the comments below. Our Instagram handles are below, and hope to see you there! @jevanscounselling @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling

Its been a struggle the last few days thinking about compassion, and trying to process it from my own place of privilege. Growing up as white male I spent most of my life completely oblivious to all of the advantages that were simply laid out in front of me. The world was created for me, in the TV shows I watched, the unearned respect/acceptance I received, the fact that opportunities were given to me without question. I never to consider whether my worthiness was based on m...y gender or skin colour, and coasted through a great deal of my life thinking all my accomplishments were earned and deserved. Awareness is such an important step, but the challenging thing is what to do with that awareness. Knowing that Im a benefactor of colonization is a heavy one to sit with, and wonder how does compassion for self and others fit into the mix. I shared this quote today, because right now its the only thing that makes sense to me. Still I question how are we supposed to love people that do such hateful/horrible things? I get how to be compassionate towards people that are oppressed or discriminated against, but how about towards the racist oppressors? From Dr. Kings perspective, what does it mean to truly love? . . . #drmartinlutherkingjr #love #compassion #selfcompassion #privilege #mindfulness #jevanscounselling See more

This coming Monday (June 1st) at 5:30 PM PST going on Instagram Live to talk about the compassionate practice of Making Amends and Forgiving. Claudia and I will be taking taking questions, so if you already have one in mind feel free to put them in the comments below. Our Instagram handles are below, and hope to see you there! @jevanscounselling @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling .... . . #compassion #selfcompassion #forgiveness #makingamends #jevanscounselling @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling @jevanscounselling See more

Forgiveness does not ignore the harm or justify a persons misdeeds, but releases our pain and anger connected to it....Russell Kolts The path of forgiveness can be incredibly trying, and something we cant just grant to another person. Knowing that we are all flawed, and have the capacity to act insensitively, selfishly and disrespectfully is a huge part of the graceful act of compassion/forgiveness. Keep in mind that forgiveness can take a great amount of patience, and at t...imes support from a therapist, friend and/or spiritual teacher. Today, consider someone who hurt you (start with a small hurt). Imagine what it would be like to forgive this person, to let go of the ill will you carry with you as a result of that hurt. Once youve done this you might think of if/how youd like to express forgiveness to this person. In doing this, reflect how doing so might impact your relationship. . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #forgiveness #mindfulness #johnconnolly #russellkolts #anopenheartedlife #jevanscounselling @jevanscounselling See more

Today on Instagram Live (5:30 PST) well be talking about the compassionate practice of presence and holding space for another person. Love to have you join in on the conversation! @jevanscounselling @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling .... . . #compassion #selfpassion #presence #holdingspace #mindfulness #waynedyer #intention #jevanscounselling See more

Such a profound message today that connects love and compassion with our own very survival. When feeling disappointed or things dont go the way as planned, its so easy to judge/blame ourselves (option 1), or others (option 2). Todays focus is about flipping the script by coming from a place love and compassion. Option 3 is having love/compassion for another person, and option 4 is for ourselves. You can think of a situation recently when you reacted by using option 1 or ...2 (Ex. Im obviously an idiot for thinking youd show up on time). In reflection, how could have you responding using option 3 or 4? (Ex. Sometimes things happen that we have no control over, and I can learn to be more patient). Adapted from An Open-Hearted Life, Russell Kolts . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #minfulness #dalailama #anopenheartedlife #russellkolts #love #jevanscounselling @jevanscounselling See more

To listen, and really hold space for another person can be extremely challenging. Often, even when we think were present and really listening, our minds are just thinking about the next thing we want to say and/or completely lost in thought. Listening is a practice, which involves noticing where our minds are, and then coming back to the moment.....again and again and again. Todays focus (by Russell Kolts), is about paying attention to what others behaviour and speech tel...l you about their needs. For example, when someone says "No one listens to me!", they may actually mean, "Im frustrated and need understanding". When we understand the persons actual feelings and needs, we are honing are listening skills, and therefore better equipped to help them and be compassionate. . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #mindfulness #anopenheartedlife #carlrogers #russellkolts #listening #empathy #jevanscounselling @jevanscounselling See more

We often feel a sense of threat/distress when we dont understand our own needs and/or the needs of others. Threat is habitually expressed through blaming, criticizing, or shutting down. Todays quote really touches upon the importance of clarifying our own needs, so we dont perceive unmet needs as threatening or personalizing others behaviour, which leads to seeing these people as the enemy. Think of a recent situation when you felt threatened, distressed or hurt. Can yo...u identify what you needed in that moment? (for yourself, not from the other person) "I felt lonely, and needed some companionship" We can do this for other people as well who may be acting critically towards you by asking the simple question, "OK, underneath this criticism/blame what do I think this person needs?. . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #anopenheartedlife #marshallrosenberg #nonvioletcommunication #nvc #needs #jevanscounselling See more

Im not sure if youve heard, but as of May 19th counsellors in BC are being permitted to return to their offices and start working in person again. Since the middle of March Ive been conducting all sessions either over the phone or through online video, which for the most part has been going very well. Id really appreciate if you could fill out the survey (only 6 questions), and the link is below.... https://us13.list-manage.com/survey*|UNIQID|*

Its just going to be me solo today (Monday) on Instagram Live at 5:30 PST. Todays theme is Compassionate Communication, so get your questions ready.....or not, and you can just listen to me talk. Link below. @jevanscounselling

Todays quote really illustrates the importance of being clear about what are own needs are, which often reside under feelings. Once we can identify the need (ex. inclusion, acknowledgement, safety, empathy), the challenge is to express this need in a way that is heard and understood. Its common to use strategies, like being passive aggressive to get a need met, which might work in the short term, but cause stress/divisiveness in the long term. Ideally, we want to learn stra...tegies to express needs that bring about understanding and connection. In todays Instagram Live, Ill be talking about how we can communicate and use strategies that support connection, empathy and understanding. To join in on the conversation go to @jevanscounselling at 5:30 PST. Hope to see you there!! . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #nonviolentcommunication #nvc #marshallrosenberg #instagramlive #jevanscounselling @jevanscounselling @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling See more

Such an important element of compassionate communication is understanding our own feelings and needs. This can be incredible challenging being that many of us were brought up in cultures/societies that look for meaning externally through comparing, judging and blaming. Such an important practice is exploring/understanding what feelings and needs reside under our inner critic (that voice that habitually judges ourselves or others). Todays focus, outlined by Russell Kolts, i...s to think of recent situation in which you were upset. Write down a description of what happened, leaving out any words that describe the possible motivations of the other persons motivations (purposely irritating me), any emotive words (gave me a dirty look) or any words that describe what is happening (shouted, gloated). Example. "I sat down at the dinner table. My partner looked at me and laughed, and continued talking to his friend". In what way does the situation appear differently to you now? Can you objectively understand what you were feeling and needing in the moment? (Ex. "I was feeling vulnerable, and needed to be acknowledged in some way"). . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #marshallrosenberg #nonviolentcommunication #nvc #anopenheartedlife #russellkolts #compassionatecommunication #jevanscounselling See more

This coming Monday (May 18th) at 5:30 PM PST going on Instagram Live to talk about The Art of Compassionate Communication. Claudia and I will be taking taking questions, so if you already have one in mind feel free to put them in the comments below. Our Instagram handles are below, and hope to see you there! . .... . @jevanscounselling @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling #compassion #selfcompassion #communication #nonviolentcommunication #nvc #jevanscounselling See more

Understanding what were feeling and needing is such an important part of compassion. The challenging thing is that our brains-nervous systems are hardwired to assess threat, diagnose and react accordingly. The next few postings are going to focus on the practice of stepping back, getting clarity of whats going on in terms of feelings, and then how we go about best communicating what were most needing in the moment. The first step is clarifying for yourself whats really ...going on, so the focus today is understanding your own feelings and then identifying what you actually need. "Im feeling irritable, and thinking that I need to eat something" "Im feeling so alone, and need to reach out to someone" Keep in mind that connecting feelings to needs is a skill that gets stronger with practice! . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #anopenheartedlife #nonviolentcommunication #nvc #mindfulness #marshallrosenberg #jevanscounselling @jevanscounselling See more

Yesterdays Instagram Live was about the nervous system, and how it connects to compassion. A key part of developing a healthier nervous system is our abilities establish safety through social engagement. To put it simply, we do this by nurturing our abilities to self and co-regulate. I should mention that regulating our nervous systems can take many forms, and this nurturing process involves develop ways that support our mental and physical health rather than causing more ha...rm (ex. excessive drinking). Todays focus is thinking of ways that you already healthily self-regulate, and perhaps how you can enhance this process. As well, think of how by being compassionate you provide an opportunity to help others co-regulate, and those people in your life that you feel safe that support you in the same way. You still have time to check out the yesterdays Instagram Live by go to stories @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #selfregulation #coregulation #polyvagaltheory #drstuartshanker #jevanscounselling @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling @jevanscounselling

Join us Today, Monday May 11th on INSTAGRAM LIVE, for a great discussion about Compassion-The Nervous System and Body. @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling @jevanscounselling

Today (Monday) at 5:00 PST back on Instagram Live, talking about the practice of Compassion-Our Nervous Systems and Body. Go to @jevanscounselling to join in on the conversation. Feel free to put your questions in comments below.

Join us today, Monday May 11th, for a great discussion about Compassion-The Nervous System and Body. . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #instagramlive #nervoussystem @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling @jevanscounselling

Happy Mothers Day. So appreciative to all the compassionate motherly peoples in my life!! . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #mothersday #motherteresa

Who inspires you?

Reading, writing and exploring the topic of compassion has been a fantastic learning process. What I have found particularly inspiring is discovering all the great people from different walks of life who speak to the profound power of compassion. Todays focus is bringing to mind sources of inspiration for yourself. This could be particular people, songs, poems, books, or even places in nature. How can you create a some kind of daily/regular practice that involves reflecti...ng on what inspires you? Think of ways of building this reminder into your life, providing inspiration when you most need it....Thubten Chodron . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #thubtenchodron #alberteinstein #inspiration #inspire #jevanscounselling @jevanscounselling See more

In yesterdays Instagram Live, Claudia and I talked about Compassion in Action, which can take so many forms, including how we treat ourselves as well as others. Todays quote really illustrates how even the small acts of compassion can make a huge difference, and all it takes is reminding yourself to be more present/engaged with the world around you. This is a practice, and you can start with something simple by just reminding yourself to perhaps say hello to a neighbour, or... asking the cashier how their day is going. It could even be about doing something kind for yourself, like eating a healthy meal or treating yourself to some ice cream. With mindfulness any kind gesture can represent an act of compassion. . . . #compassion #selfcompassion #anopenheartedlife #leobuscaglia ##compassionpractice #jevanscounselling @anaclaudia_holisticcounselling @jevanscounselling See more