JJM- Intuitive Eating and Exercise

Happy Sunday! I’m just over here running after my 9 month old with a hand vacuum and loving every minute of it. Well actually, not entirely true. While I love that she’s making a mess everywhere she goes these days because she is learning, I actually really hate cleaning. Like I want to hide my head under the covers and hope it will all clean itself kind of hate. In fact, in my eating disorder days, that’s precisely what I did. Any time I would designate a day to clean, I wou...ld get anxious about doing it that I would start by eating something to procrastinate and before I knew it, I was deep in a binge, feeling shame for eating all the things and not cleaning that I would only set myself to restrict food on Monday. In case you have been following my posts, this pattern of bingeing/restriction comes up a LOT. That’s because it is never about food or my body shape, but rather was my coping strategy for everything. But I’m off topic, back to cleaning (notice how I hate this topic!). I’m noticing people posting spring cleaning and organizing projects with all the extra time at home. I’m going to be honest that they sometimes make me feel bad that I’m not doing the same. I guess I am, at a much slower pace. Comparing my efforts just isn’t helpful to my wellness. There are so many factors- maybe their kids are older and not destroying everything in their path? Maybe their kids are the same age but they love cleaning/organizing so it’s more fun for them? Maybe they have another motivation to clean like a move? Maybe they use cleaning to cope with other things going on? All of these are ok, just like mine is, and we never know others realities so we don’t need to compare. Lastly, I have learned to lean into my dislike of cleaning and change my expectations. My house is never spic and span, nor is it so bad that the health of my family is compromised. It’s somewhere in the happy middle. There is also nothing wrong with getting help. I’m not ashamed to say the we hired a cleaner when I was pregnant to help out and it was the best decision we ever made. I can focus on the things I love more like running after my little mover and shaker. And off I go to do just that See more

This morning I was tired. Isla woke up earlier than she normally does and I definitely could’ve used more sleep. My hand hurts as I cut it yesterday trying to make a box tunnel for Isla (yep, I’m starting to get bored over here. Although as my friend reminded me, I’m being creative. Positive spin win!). It was in this moment that I could feel myself spinning. I looked at the dishes my husband left out last night, the dog paw marks that are a constant in my house these days ...due to the muddy conditions, and the pile of other boxes that I set aside to make some more toys for Isla and I started to feel overwhelmed. Turning to social media and seeing what seems like the complete opposite of my reality and I started to feel not enough. It is in these times that I would have wanted to give up on my day and perhaps turn to food to shovel down any discomfort I would feel, which would truly end any chance at a good day. The thing is we have this expectation that we have to feel happy all the time. That we need to have it together. That we have to be the perfect parent all the time lest we mess up our kids. That’s just not the reality. In fact, in our perfectly curated social media world, that’s just not anyone’s reality. It’s ok to let the waves of feelings wash over us. It’s ok to breathe those in and then exhale them out. And in that time, just being in the stillness ok with the fact that you don’t have to DO to be enough. If there is anything that has become further cemented to me during this time, it is this fact. Remember that it is not easy EVER, let alone during these times. You are so enough even when you feel like you aren’t. A million times enough. In those moments when you need to be reminded of that, reach out or reach deep inside and you will find that strength. Even if it takes a while, you will get there. And in the process, feel free to sit, have a tea/coffee/mimosa (no judgement!) and just be. It doesn’t have to be perfect but it is real. And that’s what our kids and families need. #momthoughts #youareenough #wellness #mindset #antidiet #parenting #ottawamb #edrecovery #feelings #haes #bodypositive #strength See more

And I know it’s a Friday night, but in today’s world, it’s just like any night! I finished part 2 of my blog on food, control and uncertainty. It’s about seeking control by trying to control our food intake through restrictive practices. As always, I love to chat about this, so feel free to message me if you have feedback! Xoxo ... http://thebodypositiveparent.family.blog//food-control-an/

I never intended on sharing this picture publicly. We took this photo to keep for ourselves as something that has impacted Isla’s first year. We didn’t want to share it because we didn’t want to make light of everything that’s happening. People are dying and while we need humour and the innocence of babies, it just didn’t feel right to share. So, why am I sharing it now? It got me thinking about how lucky I am to even be taking this picture. I am privileged. I have the re...sources to be able to buy the things that I need and am grateful for that. I also recognize how quickly that can change, as so many people I know have lost their jobs and went from feeling in their comfort bubble to needing help to pay bills and put food on their table. My husband is still working in an essential job (which brings its own concerns), I’m still collecting EI on mat leave and we have savings. This situation allows me to give back and we have done so by collecting to donate to the local food bank, being part of charity activities and offering our time to help others. This is how we can help in small ways that may not seem like a lot but every little bit counts. The fact that I’m privileged does not escape me, but the thing is, I’m allowed to have negative feelings during this time. This lack of abundance brings up scarcity feelings in me. Part of my eating disorder used to centre around feeling like I needed to eat it all lest I don’t get it again. This scarcity was exacerbated by dieting where I was not allowed certain foods. When I allowed myself to have them, it was all or nothing. All to say that our relationships with food are deep seated and rooted in our experiences. This may come out in times of uncertainty. This can make us feel shame when we feel as if we should be grateful. It’s ok to feel these thoughts. Honour them and find ways to share them in safe ways. Journalling, talking with a counsellor or trusted person. Someone who will listen and tell you it’s ok to feel this, even if you are privileged. Love is the only way we are going to get through this. And shame should not exist in love. Let’s talk now to remove the shame. We are all in this together. See more

What are the thoughts that you have when you open your fridge? If you are like me, this opening may be happening more often. In these times, I question what I am thinking and feeling when I open the fridge (and sometimes close it and open it without getting food). I’m going to go through a few possible thoughts you might have and how to respond to them. 1) I’m hungry: then eat!! Unless you don’t have any food in there, you are allowed to, and should eat. If it’s close to ...a meal, have a snack. If you just ate recently, if you are still hungry, eat! If you haven’t been moving your body as much as you normally do, eat..you are hungry! We don’t question when we have to use the washroom, we just do it. Why not start treating our hunger the same way? 2) I’m bored: this is something I find myself noticing more when I get to the fridge, mostly when I can’t decide what to eat. Often I’m not really hungry but want to pass the time and eating is fun so why not? And why not? It’s ok to eat out of boredom. Especially in times like these. And really, even during normal times. But hey, if you are bored and eating only takes a short amount of time, could you decide to do something else sometimes? Something that might last longer and be more fun? No judgement when you are choosing to use food when bored. Just notice and decide if maybe something else will be more rewarding. 3) I’m feeling stressed, anxious, etc: Feelings and food go together so well. I mean I’m not sure if I would’ve gotten through any breakup without a pint of ice cream (or many things in life...I love it!!!). Again, there is NOTHING wrong with using food to help with your emotions. It’s how we treat ourselves when we notice that we are doing it. Do we treat ourselves with kindness? Do we berate ourselves for doing it? Are we ALWAYS turning to food? We can learn to build a toolkit where food is part of it but not all of it. BUT that takes time and help. It’s ok if you don’t have it all figured out. It does not make you a bad person. Noticing it and being kind in it is the best thing you can do. #haes #bodypositive #coach #wellness #parenting #ottawamb #antidiet #postpartum #minds See more