Jolyn Sloan Counselling

As we are inching our way to close out this year I’m amazed at the number of stories that have come to the surface of people who are repeatedly traumatized and ...then dismissed. While I certainly don’t have the answers, it’s been tragic to see the additional nuance of people creating more chaos around those stories, rather than offering validation for those who are hurting and demand change. When I reflect on what has made the biggest difference in my own journey, it has always been validation and safe space. That’s a mix of what’s been offered to me by others and what I’ve offered myself. I hope you take on the challenge that if you need validation and safety, you fight foe them. And when you find them you figure out a way to model that for others to find it too. There are so many broken hearts that aren’t sure if the pain they carry matters. They believe that by being them, it created a traumatic experience. This isn’t true. We are part of a world at war dominated by power in the wrong places. Your pain and response to it is real. I hope you honor that. Thinking of each of you today and hoping/trusting you’re mindful that you’re never alone in your hunger for authentic connection to others who know the cost of breaking a cycle. Happy holidays to each of you.... And, if you have connections at RayBan, please let me know. #shame #trauma #innerchild #traumainformed #childhoodtrauma #fatherwound #holidaysarehard #highlysensitivepeople #innerchildhealing #cyclebreakers #estranged #cyclebreaker #empathsofinstagram #emdr #emdrtherapy #dysfunctionalfamily #empath #traumarecovery #traumahealing #scapegoat #empath #mensmentalhealth #emotionalabuse #exvangelical #motherwound #posttraumaticgrowth See more

What trauma response(s) shows up in your life and business?

Many people are aware of how their family history impacts their lives for the positive and the negative. Some are still scrambling to understand how they got to where they are. Therapy helps to keep the generational damage in the past and redeem the future. It helps not only protect your children or future children from the same trauma, it also helps to heal the inner child that's still hurting and needs you to listen. (Photo orginally posted by Dag Vissoh)

In case you didn't know...

Let's talk about boundaries. A boundary is a psychological line separating you from other people. Some don't have boundaries and can't tell the difference between their own self, needs and feelings and others. This leads to bullying and controlling behaviour or being taken advantage of. On the other hand, some people are so independent, they have huge walls that keep people out. Here's the thing. Having healthy boundaries means that you don't allow just anyone through you...r inner gate. You choose carefully. Some people might only have access to the side walk or your front yard. Just because people think there are owed access to your gate (for whatever reason they justify) doesn't mean you should let them. Are they safe? Kind? Loving? Trustworthy? People who have taken advantage of your lack of boundaries will be angry when you start to erect them. They will blame you for not being loving or forgiving; for having changed. This isn't a bad sign-especially for people pleasers. But if these boundary smashers learn to respect your boundaries, they may be worthy to come through the gate when you are ready. But it's your job to enforce it. Boundary smashers don't wait for consent. They stomp right through. You might need to kick them off your land for good or until they learn how to treat you properly. Don't ever feel guilty for your personal boundaries. They are there for a reason. To keep you safe. Not all are welcome. And not all are welcome to all aspects of who you are. Choose carefully. This is a major win for self-love and respect.

Happy fall everyone. Looks like change is in the air. I have some big news to share. I'm moving to the Fraser Valley in B.C. I will miss my clients dearly but look forward to the adventure and the new people I am meant to meet. I'll keep you all in the know of where I land. Online sessions are always an option. Take care and stay safe everyone.

An important resource to share on supporting people in domestic violence situations. https://www.violencelink.ca/go