Jones Jardine Conflict Solutions

A positive co-parenting relationship can be challenging but the effort pays off!

Heart always finds a way

Great advice for how to talk to the conspiracy lover in your life: use the SART method.

Our first relationship with parent figures sets the foundation for all other relationships including the one we have with ourselves. Many of us have experience...d unresolved trauma + attachment wounding. Meaning, that first relationship was unsafe inconsistent, emotionally disconnected, or pushed us to be a version of ourselves that didn’t reflect who we actually were. This causes us to be in romantic relationships that re-enact the our familiar past. If we are unconscious to this, we will be in patterns of relationships where we feel unseen, misunderstood, abandoned or betrayed. Few of us have experienced authentic love. Authentic love doesn’t come from a space of needing to be completed, or to fulfill wounding. It doesn’t say change or be a version of you that feels best for *me.* Authentic love provides a safe space for two people to evolve, stop betraying themselves, + to fully express who they are without fear or shame. It’s a practice that involves doing the work to become aware of your patterns as two people learn to forgive themselves + to honor themselves. It’s freedom. Trauma love is an internal prison where we seek to be chosen + loved at any cost. It usually has cycles of strong emotional addiction. Where two people are seeking to control each other to protect themselves from pain. Underneath trauma love is fear + a nervous system that cannot allow for vulnerability. There’s also a lot of shame because many people don’t understand Red flags aren’t red flags if they once felt like home. Our opportunity as adults is to create a new home a safe home first within the Self. As we cultivate this safe home, we can be a safe home for others. Love says I witness all aspects of myself + another + practice forgiveness, grace, + clear boundaries around what no longer serves me #selfhealers

Think of couples therapy like stopping the storm before it even begins. This "maintenance" can be essential to the health of a relationship and help couples wo...rk through whatever may come their way. And according to the research, prevention is 3x more effective than intervention. With the help of a Gottman-trained therapist, you and your partner can discover tools to manage conflict, attune to one another and shine together. Find a therapist near you on the Gottman Referral Network: https://bit.ly/3a90HlJ

What all humans are actually seeking is to be seen, heard, + loved. We want people to sit with us. Hold space for what we are experiencing. Sit with something w...e express. Spiritually, we all want to be witnessed without someone trying to change us, change how we feel, or to deny our own reality. Few of us have been modeled how to do this. Most of us have been talked out of our feelings + our life experiences since we were children. Unable to sit with our emotions, we go around as adults trying to fix situations around us (which actually means make ourselves feel more comfortable.) Feedback is powerful. It can be extremely healing to absorb feedback, sit with it, + integrate it if it aligns with us. Feedback can also be unsolicited. It can feel invasive, dismissive, or frustrating. When we self express, we are in a vulnerable space. Normalize saying I’m not looking for feedback on this one, thank you. Normalize PAUSING before unconsciously interjecting with your own feedback. Normalize asking: Do you want feedback, or do you just want me to listen? As you become more conscious, you’ll see that few people actually want feedback. They want to be heard. As you practice being fully present in a space of listening, you’ll notice how much your relationships shift when you’re not acting as a fixer attempting to control emotions, narratives, + realities of others. These boundaries allow us to connect to our OWN inner voice + our own intuition #selfhealers

This is a great and free resource for families! It’s worth making time in your busy schedule to attend :-)

Very good advice for people living in the Peace Region.

Hmmmm... now there's a thought worth having... how do you show your strong negative emotions?

Very useful article on defensiveness. The skills and approach’s here will work in most relationships, even co-parents :-)

Have you defined your money laws yet? If you and your partner have arguments about finances, you're in good company. There is no easy way for a couple to go th...rough life without butting heads over money. That’s because arguments about money aren’t about money. They are full of power and meaning that make discussions about money sometimes more emotional than the situation seems to warrant. Defining your money laws can help your partner can come to a place of deeper understanding during conflict. Money laws are the things that must happen for you to feel financially secure and happy in your relationship. They tend to follow a simple if-then framework. If you can identify your money laws, you can instantly help your partner understand you better and improve the quality of your relationship. If you take time to understand your partner’s money laws, you will be able to turn the destructive fights about money in your partnership into a constructive way to grow closer to one another. Explore tools to help you and your partner invest in your communication skills on Gottman Connect: https://bit.ly/3ci5PUO

Well that's one way to do it. If your coin flip calls for a divorce, we can help with the paperwork.

Being able to identify the Four Horsemen in your conflict discussions is a necessary first step to eliminating them and replacing them with healthy, productive ...communication patterns. After watching thousands of couples argue in the Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman was able to identify specific negative communication patterns that can end a relationship. He called them the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse," and they are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. To drive away destructive communication and conflict patterns, you must replace them with healthy, productive ones, and fortunately, each of the Four Horseman has a proven positive behavior that will counteract negativity. The new Gottman Relationship Coach: How to Make Your Relationship Work will help you and your partner identify the Four Horsemen and what to do if they're present in your relationship. Shop: https://bit.ly/2IT2YHi