Joy Within
Nourish Wellness - 1822 Comox Ave - Suite C V9M 3M7 Comox, BC, Canada

In 4 more sleeps, we will begin another deep dive into all the ways in which you can be the change agent in your family! Parenting is challenging enough as it is and now many are struggling on additional levels. They are seeking solutions to end conflict, reduce stress, communicate better, connect more and support their children in more impactful ways. Gain the knowledge, tools and support to bring you and your children into new levels of success and navigate the most impor...tant role you have. https://www.facebook.com/events/1072282763255965

The foundation of the Nurtured Heart Approach is this - awakening children to the greatness of who they truly are and ensuring they believe in and can access those unique qualities for a lifetime. We do it through the 3 Stands that provide a foundation for any situation at any age. Through knowledge grounded in the critical role of relationship, evidence of how our energy shifts intensity and the goal always being the nourishment of Inner Wealth, NHA has tools and techniq...ues that work. Explore a powerful way to use an effective, heart-centred approach to build relationships, transform behaviour and grow Inner Wealth. You can be the change agent to help your family thrive! Only a few more days to sign up for my next workshop (visit my website or Facebook page event). Find out why others are calling NHA life changing, a whole new level of deep and genuine appreciation,a new way to communicate and transformational. The Nurtured Heart works because it goes above, beyond and below everything else that is out there.

...and an important piece of having real emotional intimacy with ourselves and others while being one of our great human challenges

Resiliency is one of the top skills many parents want for their children and for themselves. How do we build it? How do we use it? It is true that what we focus on expands. Just think of the last time you had a worry about something and thinking about it not only didn't solve the problem but probably preoccupied your time, kept you awake at night, had you on edge with loved ones. You focused on the worry and it took up more and more space. If we flip that idea, we can us...e this to our advantage. For example, think about what resiliency looks like. Maybe it's emotional regulation in the face of irritation. Perhaps experiencing a disappointment or hurt and reaching out for support. It could include flexibility, boundaries, tenacity, communication etc. Look for those actions in yourself, your children and your partner. You may just start to see more seeds of greatness than you realized were there. The seeds you water grow. What you focus on expands. When you see a glimmer of resilience, focus on it, give it energy and watch it grow.

I was so honoured to receive this Certificate of Recognition from @startupcomoxvalley!! 'Marny is a successful local business owner who celebrates 6 years in business. Her passion and dedication as a Nurtured Heart Approach Advanced trainer and Spiritual Psychotherapist shines and has helped so many local families and individuals be the best selves they can be. Her always eloquent, intuitive and thoughtful approach to not only her clients, but to all aspects of her life is ...inspiring. Her consistent commitment and focus with the Nurtured Heart Approach of parenting is admirable and will lead to many more accomplishments.' I love sharing my passion for healthy, connected relationships and building the greatness in all children at @nourishwellnesscomox. Thank you Kristen for being my fervent cheerleader

This is a truth that I have come to embrace recently and I felt such a weight lift when I actually let it sink in. I have not been the hardest hit and in some areas, there has even been little impact. For me, it has been a slower process of dealing with constant emotional turmoil and a steady depletion of energy. While able to use the slow down to find new ways to connect and keep everyone sane, even this has taken a lot of energy. Individuals, couples and families are all ...getting through this year since COVID really started to impact us in Canada in different ways. It is important to acknowledge how it is affecting us. While some feel isolated, others feel they can't get any time alone. Some people are losing their jobs while others can't get a break from them. Parents are picking up more responsibility to entertain, school and counsel their children. Children are detached from friends, anxious about where this is all headed and angry that they have no say in something that has impacted them so profoundly. The list gets too long and the point is this. We are normally operating at a pretty high level of output and that has not gone away because the world slowed down. It just changed its form. Acknowledge your feelings and give them a safe space to be heard. From here, we can begin to talk about it, share what is true and move forward in tapping into healing, renewal and reconnection.

So true! Our intensity is our life force. We need to feed it rather than punish it.

This space is so important and something that I work a lot with parents on. In February, I was posting about the idea of tuning into intention, shifting focus and finding new ways to communicate. How our energy behind our words is a large part of what our children hear and respond to. This can be tough when we are escalated ourselves. ... What helps you find that pause, the space, your reset before you react? This is the moment that holds the opportunity to listen to our feelings and consciously choose how to respond to them. The how, when and why of our response can change so much. Check out my next parenting workshop by visiting my website or the event posting on my Facebook page and explore new tools for finding and using your reset.

Parenting can be a real roller coaster of emotions. From the deepest love to the fiercest anger, there are lots of things we feel. For most of us, with our desire to protect and raise contributing members of society, there can be fear. Fear of what they will become, what will happen if, what is not happening that we think should be .... ... The next time you start to feel your energy rising up looking for a way out, pause. Tune in and see if there is fear. What are you worried about or doubting? Can you now focus in a little more clearly and see what is NOT happening? In that moment, the same energy that brought fear can now bring gratitude. For more information on this dynamic, how it affects our relationship with our children and tools to help shift interactions and influence, join my next parenting workshop. Details are on my website or event on my Facebook page.

You are not alone and there are still ways to connect in deep, meaningful ways to feed emotional intimacy. None of us firmly grasped the toll homeschooling and taking care of children without any [help] would take on couples, relationships, privacy and intimacy, said Dr. Brotto, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of British Columbia. Couples are home working together you’re beside each other all day long. It has translated into a lot more emotion...al distance, Dr. Brotto said. Separation and a sense of separate identity are critical for desire and cultivating interest in sexual activity. https://www.theglobeandmail.com//article-another-victim-o/

This giveaway is on Instagram but if you are a parent in Canada (or know one) who could use new information, effective tools and an approach that has been called 'a real game changer', head over or send them over to @joywithinparenting to find details on the post below. Only 3 days left to enter! If these dates don't work for you, this gift can be applied to any workshop this year.

February arrives next week and it is a great time to explore our relationships and how the power of focus, energy and the heart can influence them. For the month, get curious to see how you feel about really noticing what is going well. I will post weekly exercises on Facebook and Instagram to help. Every day, there are things that inevitably go ‘wrong’. Stuff happens, scenarios play out that we can’t control, our emotions go sideways and challenges can be abundant. ... Do you notice how consuming these things can be? As they take up space in you, do you see how they affect the way you see your children and your partner and therefore how you interact with them? We are going to flip that. In between those moments when things go ‘wrong’ are things that go ‘right’. Even if there are many MANY stressful things that happen it might be hard to find, but there is something that is different than the struggle. If we focus on the challenges, we make them bigger but if we focus on the calm, that is what gets bigger. When we are in moments of stress and struggle, it is hard to see past them. We can think about them long after they are over and revisit them regularly. They can keep us awake and preoccupy our thoughts. This is not about denying the challenges or the struggles. In fact, it is absolutely about acknowledging them and even feeling them. It is also about being aware of how we can get stuck and, therefore, make problems bigger. Know that you have a choice. What you focus on expands! Bring your intention and your energy to what is going right in THIS moment. Then, watch it grow. Join me next Monday to start exploring some ways that can help us do that. If you have any questions, leave them below or reach out directly for one on one support. My work is heavily grounded in the Nurtured Heart Approach as well as other evidence-based parenting methodologies. Feel the successes and see how it helps to keep everyone more connected.

Thank you Daily Wonder for putting this together and setting us all up for a 'great-ness' start to the year. I love collaborating with you!!

Lately, I have found myself looking at my experience as a parent with awe about how much it has changed and challenged me. Everything I thought about what it would be like and everything I thought about who I am. All the ways in which I imagined both my personal and professional life to unfold. The times raising children would hold up for debate all the expectations and beliefs I had - for myself and my children. They have all shifted and probably will continue to. I have al...so become deeply aware of the responsibility we have to raise the next generation and how loaded that can be. There are many diverse experiences and feelings that come with the territory for each of us. This is why I feel like it is so important to help parents experience as much joy as possible, to navigate the road with grace when they can and at the end of the day, feel confident in the tools they can access as they raise their children as best they can. In Feb, I will be starting a series of posts that will provide a glimpse into some of the choices we can start to make at any stage of this journey around our energy and focus. When those align, everything can shift. I will be posting both on Facebook and Insta (which, according to my children - NO one calls it :-)) as I try and plant as many seeds as I can to build relationships, transform behaviour and help our children to be strong on the inside able to successfully navigate whatever lies ahead for them.

Well, this sure resonates I had a good chuckle when I first read this because I do it so often. Start one thing and get distracted again and again then sit back and wonder where the day went. Sometimes, I have a twinge of regret or discouragement thinking of all the things I DIDN'T get done. Honestly, who wouldn't rather get some joy out of old photo albums than do laundry!! Let's reframe distraction as a dip into the pool of enjoyment. Be there and let it refuel us to re...turn to the essential tasks of the day. Turn your attention to all you DID do and know that enjoying the moments you can is an important 'to do'. (picture shared from a support group I am part of)

The evidence is in! What was the training? The Nurtured Heart Approach - it helps ALL children to flourish "The NHA showed improvement by training parents, rather than a direct child-focused treatment approach, and thus could be diffused throughout the family, potentially yielding benefits for other children within the household. Inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity are the primary reasons parents and educators refer children for evaluations and the resultant ADHD diagnosis. Our study found significant improvements in ADHD behaviors as reported by parents."

In life, we can resist so much. We try and prevent ourselves from feeling emotions that we believe to be too hard or too scary. We push back on interpersonal dynamics that feel uncomfortable or unknown. We deny experiences that might expose a protected place within us or tear down a wall we have built. It is part of our human journey to resist as well as to be given opportunities to reveal our own gold. Tune into your own resistance as you feel yourself shut down, lash out ...or escape. I wonder if it still serves you and what gold you might find if you stopped? Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

Check out my interview with Daily Wonder Home Learning Hub (link in the comments)! It touches on the Nurtured Heart Approach and how it can support the home learning community. I have worked with the educators at Daily Wonder for a number of years now and I am so excited to see how they are extending their teaching knowledge, community vision and soulful approach to whole-child learning. They are an incredible resource so check them out!! ... and hopefully, you get a little more curious about how I can support you in your home and/or classroom.

It can be tempting to feel like changing our children will make all the struggles we have with them disappear. When we change the way we see the challenges and tune in to who they truly are, we change our own feelings and our relationship with them. Then, everything else follows.

Punishment. This a concept that I often get asked about. ‘What is an appropriate punishment for ‘x’ behaviour’? ‘That behaviour is a punishable offense!’ Parents try to find the right punishment to implore their child to behave differently. When that one doesn’t work, they scramble to find the next level and the next level that will finally work. Adults set up structures of threats of punishment. ‘If you don’t do x, then y will happen.’ ... We often use punishment as a tool to teach believing that surely if a child has the right negative experience, they will learn. Even if the word consequence is used instead, when the underlying energy is that I am doing something to you in hopes of changing what you are doing, it can still feel like punishment. Let’s be clear. Anything that directly or indirectly creates blame, shame or pain is punishment. If punishment creates short term change, in the long term, that blame, shame and/or pain builds into longer term effects in how a child sees themselves, feels about the world around them and therefore how they interact with it. It is not our intent to do this. It is a result of the tools we have acquired to influence behaviour and the beliefs we have learned around our role in it. What do you do when I child in your life throws you off balance? Does your mind go to a punishment that will stop the behaviour? Next time it does, see if you can pause for a moment before reacting. In that pause, see if you can open to the possibility that your feelings about the behaviour are yours. The behaviour is your child’s. Between those 2 truths is an option to respond. Instead of the typical reaction, see if you can find something going right and shift your focus there. This does not deny the problem. It establishes relationship and opens the door to dealing with the dynamic using deeper awareness, strength building tools and sanity saving emotional regulation.

So, this is cool .... #10, 11 and 12 are all Nurtured Heart Approach books!! Read #10 for yourself and check out #11 and #12 to bring it home to your children.

We can hold on tight in hopes that we fill what is missing. We can hide who we truly are or be someone else to protect ourselves from rejection. We can get aggressive trying to control and blame others hoping to feel better about ourselves. A different focus is important to reveal the possibility of our own growth, learning and opening to deep authentic connection.

Always grateful for the gift of a reset In fact, just this morning, my 15 year old and I started to get into that upside down energy. His Dad joined in, his sister joined in. As things escalated, I heard his words to just be left alone and finally made the choice to find my reset that was necessary to help him find his. It only took a listening curious ear today. Other days, it can be a much longer process! ... Then, my husband followed, our daughter followed and the escalation was over. Short but still unnecessary. As my son left for school, he called up to let me know he was leaving. I deeply appreciated that he let me know he was leaving so we could both move on with the day feeling better. I acknowledged his need and focus on fairness as his ability to advocate for himself will serve him well in life. We will work through the issue later. For now, the drama is gone and our relationship is intact

Happy Friday! I hope this little human gives you a smile and inspiration today. https://www.facebook.com/marj.desius/videos/10157805551300687

I came across this today and felt like I needed to hear it. For whatever reason, I feel unmotivated, low energy and run down. Rather than focus on the why, I am going to see the truth of how I feel and listen. I hope you find what you truly need this weekend

As we begin the final month of 2020, my wish for you all is that you can explore whatever ways you need to slow down. This has been one heck of a year for pretty much everyone. It has been like no other in some way or another. Try not to minimize how it has affected you. Especially as it is happening on top of all the other ups and downs of life. ... Maybe you need to slow down your physical pace. Maybe you need to slow down your expectations of yourself or others. Maybe you need to slow down your mind to free it, even a bit, from worry and doubt. Maybe you need to slow down any urges to escape from your more difficult feelings. Maybe you need to slow down your resistance to change something that no longer serves you. As we head into a traditionally busy time of year, know that there really is no rush. What will unfold will unfold and things do change in their own time. Do what you can to bring peace to yourself. Support your loved ones to take the pressure off and focus on what is fulfilling even if it is in the tiniest of ways. Photo by Merlin Kraus on Unsplash