Light On Wellness

Sounds familiar?

A bit on grief and how to help the grieving loved one

but what does that even mean to "trust oneself"? Most people, most of the time, are not even aware which behaviours constitute "approval-seeking". Our inner People Pleaser is really good at making up an excuses why not saying "no" is good for you with the following: "just this one time", "it will only take you 5 mins", "do it now so you won't have to deal with consequences later", "if you say no you're gonna feel bad", etc There is some work to be put into gaining awareness ...to start recognizing those pesky approval-seeking behaviours, and before you can learn to make a change to start saying "no", you need to really learn how to deal with the voice of The People Pleaser Solution - learn to tolerate shame. To so that you will have to learn to TRUST your own ABILITY to take care of yourself as you sit with the shame after-burn that comes as a result of saying "no" Learning to say "yes" is just other side of the same coin, when you say "no" you are really saying "yes" to choosing growth, choosing to practice ability to trust yourself to take care of yourself while learning to tolerate the shame - shame of being unpleasant, unlovable Don't see how shame fits in here? Ok, close your eyes and put your hand on your heart. Ask yourself, what feeling would I experience if I say "no" when another part of me says I SHOULD do? Most of us experience an urge of escaping the possibility of feeling "bad" aka shame. Shoulda/woulda/coulda is the language of your inner People Pleaser that manipulates you through the sensation of shame and guilt. Shame is a draining emotion that required self care. But, as always, more on that later #sayingno #learntosaynow #peoplepleaser #shame #guilt #trust #managingshame #managingguilt #guilt #trusdtyourself #yourtherapist #counselling #selfhelp #selfhelpresources #counsellingpsychology #counsellingservices #counsellingsessions #counsellinghelp #counsellingpsychotherapy #psychotherapy #anxiety #depression #spirituality #growth #onlinetherapy #instatherapist #human #feelbetter

Look familiar? Just for today - stand up and walk away. Or punch back!

Dear younger self, you did be best you could with the resources you had. I love you. Take your turn in comments below!

Although great advises, sometimes we need to be of help rather than of compassion