Karla Torres,Transformation Life Coach

Own your truth! Don’t get caught up in self-doubt by comparing yourself to other moms. Comparison is the thief of joy.... What is true for you isn’t true for everyone else. What is true for someone else isn’t true for you. What you see on the outside isn't the whole story. You don’t know what they are going through or have gone through that they don’t feel safe or the need to share with the world. Stay true to who you are and when you find yourself noticing the comparison coming on just ask yourself is this true for me? When we let go of trying to fit into someone else’s box then we get to choose ourselves. We get to be seen, heard, acknowledged and accepted by yours truly. Ps. Here’s a tip. Come from a place of curiosity and love. What can I learn from that mama I admire so much that I can apply in my life. This shifts from not feeling enough to feeling empowered.

Mama are you showing up for yourself the same way you show up for your kids? This could mean many different things to different moms. You will ask yourself this from a space in which you are right now. What’s true for you is not the same for another mom.... You might be saying: Ya I’m showing up for myself by doing XYZ Or askinghow can you compare the 2? My kids always come first! Or maybe your already aware that you are not showing up for yourself. You are lucky you are even making the effort to shower, brush your hair, change out of pjs. That’s how you might see yourself showing up. What I’m talking about is how you show up for yourself in away that lets you feel Heard Seen Acknowledge Loved Confident Secure And cared for. It’s no secret that moms have a huge belief around what a good mother is suppose to be, do all the things and have all the things. Our focus becomes so external that we forget about ourselves and think that as long as I look the part or act the part everything will be just fine. Meanwhile your hiding, isolating, holding back, judging, criticizing and comparing. Finding yourself feeling exhausted, defeated, doubting your decisions, your life style and or your parenting for that matter. Almost like living a secret double life. You know deep down inside you can’t pretend any longer. The sarcasm is seeping through, the back talk under your breath is blurting out and your fuse is shorter then ever. Ask yourself are you showing up for yourself now? How do you want your kids to remember you as? Our happiness, wholeness and joy reflects on how we show up and modal to our children. It shows up on how we give love and receive love from our partners. It shows up on how we see ourselves and what we project out into the world. Your family will always be first just don’t forget you are part of that family and when you can fill your cup you teach your kids and partner to do the same. Stop hiding your truth. Own it and do something about it before it owns you. If your ready to break the cycle then let me show you how

Self-awareness is key to noticing your triggers and giving yourself the chance to do things differently. No mama wants to feel guilty or sad about how they lost their shit on their kids or partner. No mama goes out of her way to feel alone, resentful, unheard or unseen.... But yet we somehow find ourselves down this path time after time. We say we are going to change and do things differently but when in the midst of chaos we find ourselves exactly where we said we didn’t want to be. Then we end up beating ourselves up for it and or comparing ourselves to other moms either by guilt or righteousness. The fear of losing control is the very thing that is actually happening and we don’t realize until the moment has past. But what if you could be more present, aware that you are not your behaviour and understand why you are being triggered. Could you overcome this challenge and could it work? What you believe you are capable of or not is what determines if change is possible. This is why in my Awakened Mama program we focus heavily on shifting the mindset. If you believed it was possible to get back to the joys of motherhood without being dragged down by your triggers. Would it work? Your thoughts are the only thing in the way of being the best version of you. Let that sink in. Dm me if you done hearing the old story you keep playing.

By connecting with our inner-child, we gain access to new information about our unhealed wounds, and the needs that may not have been met when we were actually children. If your caught in a loop or reacting and then asking why do I keep doing this or why can’t I stop then chances are this has to do with some old beliefs and unresolved traumas. With said, if we heal our stuff then we don’t inadvertently pass it down to our kids. Remember our kids look to us for modelling if we don’t want them to learn traits we are struggling with then change the narrative to your story by giving yourself permission to heal so your kids don’t have to do it the future.

When we hold, carry, nurture our shame like a reminder of what happened to us or for what we did or didn’t do. It can hold us back from growth, belonging, connection and love. This took me a while to understand but once I spoke my truth and about the things I felt shame over. I freed myself of not feeling worthy or enough. I changed the narrative to my story and the more I spoke the easier it came out. The very thing that I avoided and feared the most ended helping me fin...d my purpose, my why and my liberation of others expectations. I tapped into a power I had not see in a long time. Passion, conviction and courage just poured out of me. I could see the chains melting away. My perspective had changed. There is something magical to be said when a mom shares her raw truth, her imperfections and her vulnerability. It creates a safe space for other moms to do the same. Shame dies when we share our story. Together we can give each mothers the courage to rise above their story and release a domino affect for future generations to come.

Are you finding it hard to deeply connect with your child? Whether your a bio mom, stepmom, foster mom etc... connecting with a child has a lot to do with what you believe is possible for you and that child or even for yourself. I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I thought the intention and desire of wanting to be a mom were enough to be the best mom I could be.... What I hadn’t realized was that being a mom is more than blissful, cute and loving moments. It’s also filled with fear, frustration and discomfort. Overcoming my traumas, fears and past hurts have changed the trajectory of my life. It made me see that reconnecting to myself and healing parts of me would allow for new information and new ways of being and doing things differently. I had so many outdated beliefs that looking back didn’t serve me as a child so why would I want to implement those same beliefs into my child. However, I do acknowledge that those experiences it has made me the resilient, loving and compassionate person I am today. It has also brought awareness as to where there could have been a block that would have blocked me from connecting on a deeper level. When my child is doing everything opposite of what I’m expecting to happen. I can now use my tools to take a step back, re-evaluate the situation and repair whereas in the past I would have gotten triggered because of my old hurts or my own way of upbringing. Mama, I hope this brings awareness to ask yourself what is unhealed within you that is blocking you from truly connecting and being the version of you, you desire to be and that your kids need. You don’t have to do this alone. Ask me how

Looking back to when I first became a mom. I can recognize the anxiety in my eyes. I had done so much work around my traumas and fears that I thought I had this motherhood thing in the bag. Here’s the thing. Life will reflect where you need healing in the areas that you need healing in its Devine time.... Healing is multifaceted. There’s so many parts and layers to it. It’s like peeling an onion. Every layer pulled back reveals the next. It’s not a one shot fixes all. You see as humans we are always seeking growth and purpose so it’s only natural that our unresolved stuff would be triggered. I had no idea how much anger I was suppressing from my own childhood that surfaced when it came to being the perfect mom. I wanted to do right by her accept my fears that were dormant had become evident and started to surface. Anxiety was lurking in every corner. I wanted to put her in a bubble and keep her so safe but then I would of robbed her of a life of her own experiences and journey. Thankfully I was aware enough to know that I was projecting my childhood traumas of being unsafe onto her and when anyone didn’t understand me it led to rage. You see rage is an indication that a need somewhere was unmet and since it had been suppressed for so long. It was rage that was giving me my voice back. I was ppl pleasing and swallowing my pride for far too long that There was nothing left to give. Now I don’t regret how it all came about because it gave me true insight as to what I needed to heal and how my WHY for helping other moms move through this is my purpose. I learned what not to do and what do so that I wouldn’t end up on the path of rage. Rage helped me rediscover myself and taught me how to self love in away that puts me first and to become aware of what I allow in my life or don’t. I’m responsible for my happiness and if something dosnt feel right then it’s my responsibility to address it so that I don’t find myself in the past.

What an amazing Event around balancing women’s Autonomy and family. Gracias Karla Fernanda Berganza y Tania Borja por crear un espacio donde las mamás pueden unirse y apoyarse mutuamente.

What are you most proud of, in your parenting journey? (Hint: it can be a small thing!!! We need to celebrate all the wins mama!!!

Motherhood brings unique challenges that contribute to this rage. It’s time to look at these challenges to understand the source of this rage. Mama you may be grieving in ways you may not recognize. You may be grieving:... * Your old life * Your freedom * Your body * Your relationships * Your identity * Your peace of mind Sometimes we don’t recognize that all of this is happening in the background and when we feel pulled in so many directions while trying to look kept together, You can start to feel symptoms of: Sadness, Overwhelm Fear Shame Insecurity comparrison Guilt Worry Anger Rage . Listen to the cues your body is giving. The sweaty hands, the heat rising and the irritability coming off. Your body is telling you that you’re holding too much in and you’re about to explode if you don’t do something about it. Anger is a good way to right a wrong that was made. Anger can also lead to rage if not processed. There is no shame is losing your shit here and there. I totally get it. It’s not easy to do this parenting thing. We are all doing the best with the resources we have. If the opportunity presented its self for you to acquire new resources and learn new ways of managing your emotions so that you can create a safe place for your kids to do the same. Would you stay where you are and hope for the best or would you get ahead of the problem and find a solution so that you’re experience and that of your partner and kids are what you actually want it to be. You can mother on your terms without compromising yourself. I can help you get there! Connect with me if you feel it’s time.

Tony Robbins: ‘Gratitude Is the Solution to Anger and Fear’ After so much isolation and a hard week of balancing work and home life. I felt so grateful to see these 2 embracing their love for each other as if everything in between them didn’t matter. I took a deep breath and took it all in. I filled my cup of gratitude and can say it was all worth it for this very moment in time. Mama I challenge you to look for those moments in your journey where you are grateful for the l...ittle and big things. Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough. ~Oprah Winfrey Your mind is a powerful tool and if you know how to use it for your highest intention then you have more chances of living a happy, healthy and wealthy life. I know life can be challenging especially when everything seems to be going wrong and you find yourself stuck not knowing what to do and consumed by your thoughts and the story you keep repeating back to yourself. I get it. Your human, I’m human and if life were pretty perfect then we wouldn’t grow and there wouldn’t be room for improvement. Having those moments can feel like a life time and your allowed to feel what you feel. Don’t stay stuck there. Shift your focus, your energy and attention. Gratitude is the antidote to the things that mess us up. You can’t be angry and grateful simultaneously. You can’t be fearful and grateful simultaneously. So, gratitude is the solution to both anger and fear, and instead of just acting grateful, think of specific situations that your grateful for, little ones and big ones. ~TR You get to choose how long you want to stay in the negative thoughts. You have choice. Choose wisely.

One of my favorite quotes is by Mark Victor Hansen, co-creator of Chicken Soup for the Soul: You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. You are the author of your own story.... It took a long time for me to truly understand what that meant. I believed everything was written in stone and if someone told me something was going to happen to me in the future. I wouldn’t hesitate to believe that was my fate. I lived with constant worry, fear and sadness. My life was full of hardship, trauma, disappointment, hurt and the list goes on. I got so use to being the victim that I couldn’t see anything other then that. I felt so stuck in my life that I believed I would never reach happiness. Hitting rock bottom made me desperate for a hero, a saviour, someone who could give me hope. I asked for help and it was given. My whole life got flipped upside down. I became aware of how I was contributing to my pain and why I couldn’t see away out. I was so focused on the pain that I kept attracting it every where. Taking ownership of my reaction to things, Helped me to heal my old story and to start creating a new one. I’ve been there where your at. I was you. I felt all those same feelings. Let this be proof that you can change things and be in charge of your life again. Ask me how on a free discovery call. I’m here to answer all your questions.