Hard Knox Counselling
4888B Princeton Avenue V0H 1X7 Peachland, BC, Canada

Years ago I learned something from Brené Brown that I still use every single day: When you get home to your spouse/kids/dog etc.. Before you open the door... Put a smile on your face! It doesn't matter how your day went. Or what you're doing next. Or if you're starving. For 30 seconds, at least pretend that you're elated to see them. Make them feel like you were looking forward to getting back home. After all, they're your favorite people in the whole world. I hope. Now, I know what you're thinking: "That seems like a cheesy, tiny thing, man. Hardly an earth-shattering revelation." But your #attitude sets the tone for the rest of the evening within 15 seconds of walking in the door. So really, it's not tiny at all. It's a huge deal. Because you come home every day. And the things you do every day grind on you. Jordan Peterson says if you can fix 25 little things like "coming home," you will have an extraordinary life. Taking your family to Disneyland is insignificant. Your kid's expensive birthday party will be forgotten within weeks. Coming home? That's your whole life. Fix it. Start today.

Fellas. The perfect woman doesn’t exist. They all have their level of crazy. ... Just like we do. But 10 years after divorce and dating a few women, I’ve figured a few things out about this relationship deal. Here’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned. CHOOSING. We must CHOOSE. I played small for a long time. I had trust issues so I didn’t trust. I had fear so I kept my distance. I had resentment that I projected. In the back of my mind I had the idea that one day the perfect woman would just kick down the door and save me. That This bad ass chick would trump all the others and it would just be rainbows and kittens 24/7. All the while over the years I used the story of HER insecurities, or HER crazy, or HER issues as my excuse to why I couldn’t make a relationship work. When in reality I simply hadn’t CHOSEN. Most of all I hadn’t chosen ME. To work on me and do some dark, scary, humbling work on ME. To see what I didn’t want to see and change what I was too damn stubborn to change. Fellas you and I could bounce from woman to woman easily. That’s simple, it takes zero effort. We can say she’s got this problem or that problem, and we are probably right. We can move on over and over and at the end of it all that a pretty hollow existence. Keeping her at a distance. But the truth is there is only one way we are going to BUILD (not find) love. And that’s if we CHOOSE. CHOOSE HER. Choose her and choose to do whatever work necessary to BUILD with her. CHOOSE to own your shit CHOOSE to close other doors. CHOOSE to get off the fence. CHOOSE to dive into the deep and dark shit. CHOOSE you man. More than anything, CHOOSE YOU. CHOOSE to honor yourself by not playing small. Look, if you want to be Hugh Hefner and have 47 girlfriends so be it. No judgement at all. However. If you truly want to build an empire with a queen, YOU MUST CHOOSE TO BE A KING. When I quit LOOKING for a Queen and I CHOSE to go all in on me, the little girls disappeared and she showed up. Yea she tests me. A good woman will. Yea I still have fears. I suspect I always will. But from one dude to another I can attest to you that the biggest thing I’ve changed to bring this Queen into my life is ME. I CHOSE ME. I CHOSE to quit lying and blaming. And once I made that choice and did that work, the game changed. Fellas, CHOOSE YOU. Surround yourself with other men building REAL relationships. With men who will hold themselves and you to a higher standard. Much love y’all.

"Not why the addiction but why the pain." Gabor Maté

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw