Kelly Meloche

Hi. This is your late loved one speaking. I don’t have long, so listen up because I have a lot I want to tell you. First off, I get it. Ever since I left this... world you have missed me, and I know you’re bracing for the holidays without me. No matter what anyone says, this year’s festivities are going to be really tough. In fact, let’s be honest, this festive season will probably suck pondwater. But then, Thanksgiving and Christmas are tough holidays for a lot of people. You’re not alone. See, the misconception about the holidays is that they are one big party. That’s what every song on the radio claims. Each television commercial you see shows happy families clad in gaudy Old Navy sweaters, carving up poultry, smiling their perfect Hollywood teeth at the camera. But that’s not exactly reality. In reality, fifty-eight percent of Americans admit to feeling severely depressed and anxious during November and December. In reality many folks will cry throughout the most wonderful time of the year. Well, guess what? Nobody is crying up here in heaven. This place is unreal. There is, literally, too much beauty to take in. Way too much. For startersget thistime doesn’t even exist anymore. Which I’m still getting used to. Right now, for all I know, the calendar year down on Earth could be 1728, 4045, 1991, or 12 BC. It really wouldn’t matter up here. This is a realm where there is no ticking clock, no schedule. Up here there is only this present moment. This. Here. Now. That’s all there has ever been. And there is real comfort in this. I know this all seems hard to grasp, but if you were here you’d get it. Also, for the first time I’m pain free. I feel like a teenager again in my body. You probably don’t realize how long I’ve lived with pain because I never talked about it, I kept my problems to myself because I was your loved one, and you needed me to be brave. But pain is a devious thing. It creeps up on even the strongest person, little by little, bit by bit. Until pretty soon, pain becomes a central feature of life. Sometimes my pain would get so bad it was all I thought about. No, I’m not saying that my life was miserablefar from it. I loved being on earth. It’s just that simply waking up each morning was getting exhausting. But, you know what? Not anymore. In this new place, I am wholly and thoroughly happy. But enough about me. I don’t have room to describe all the terrific things I’m experiencing, and you don’t need to hear them. Right now, you’re grieving, and what you need is a hug. Which is why I’m writing to you. This is my hug to you. Because you’ve lost sight of me. And in fact, you’ve lost sight of several important things lately. Death has a way of blinding us. It reorganizes the way you think, it changes you. You will never be the same after you lose someone. It messes with your inner physiology. It reorganizes you’re neurons. But then, there’s one teensy little thing you’re forgetting: I’m still around. Yes, you read that correctly, I’m right here with you. No, you can’t see me. No, you can’t reach out and hold me. But did you know that one of the things I’m allowed to do as a heavenly being is hang out with you? It’s true. I’m never far away. I’m in the room with you now, along with a big cloud of ancestors, saints, and witnesses. I’m shooting the breeze alongside you, watching you live your life, watching you raise your kids, watching your private moments of sorrow. Here, in this new realm, I am in the perfect position to help you learn things. Which is what I vow to spend the rest of your earthly life doing, teaching you little lessons, lending you a hand when you least expect it, and desperately trying to make you smile. Actually, I’ve already been doing this stuff, you just don’t realize it. What, you don’t believe me? Well, wake up, pal. You know that tingle you get in your spine whenever you think of me? That’s me. You know how, just yesterday, you had a beautiful memory when you were driving and it made you cry so hard that it actually felt good and you began to laugh through tears? Also me. You know how sometimes when you’re all alone, preoccupied with something else, suddenly you get this faint feeling that someone is standing in the room with you? Hello? Me. You’re not alone on this earth. You never were. You never will be. So during this holiday season, when cheerful families are getting together and making merry, and taking shots of eggnog, I’m going to be clinging to your shoulder, helping you muddle through somehow. I’ll be making your spinal column tingle a lot, and I’ll be sending plenty of signs. Each of these signsevery single oneis code for I love you. So start paying attention to these hints. Because this was one.

I choose to believe this too!!

Four days before the first day of Autumn I had the privilege of performing a marriage ceremony at an upscale Country Club. I knew it was going to be special but I had no idea truly what was about to happen. Just as everyone was topping up their drinks to take their seats at a lovely venue overlooking the water to celebrate a nuptial that was truly meant to be, I noticed a very last-minute addition to the bride’s side of the attendees. She was beautiful, yet clearly uncomfor...table. Long brown hair, slim figure and somewhere in her early 50’s, this woman entered wearing that dress. It was tangerine in colour falling just above her knees and shone a ray of cleavage sometimes only seen on the red carpet. Perhaps if another, much younger woman, was wearing it I would have judged her in a way of, slow your roll sister.show some respect. Not this time. This woman was Audrey Hepburn magnetic. This half-centurion literally sparkled tangerine with class and oh, so much, showmanship! Her attempt at being under the radar was a beautiful epic failure. I totally got it, because as the Officiant of choice, I am also well into that second century of my life and ridiculously invested into physical-self-doubt. As I left the venue I ran into this distinct lady. I complemented her immediately like my only purpose for being there was to let her know that she was remarkably worthy. Somehow, I knew she needed that. We all do when we are her. She paused at my praise. Then she confessed her gnawing insecurity was only trumped by her Momma’s wishes. At home is her Mom. Battling cancer. She told her daughter, Lindawear the dress. Linda didn’t feel worthy. She didn’t feel like she was enough to accompany such a statement. Yet, a total stranger, me, saw her worthiness. I don’t know if that was because her courage was as bright as her dress. I don’t know if that was because the love for her Momma entered before she did. I don’t know if were kindred spirits greeting to say, don’t give up girlgo for it! All that I know is that Linda chose courage that day and she shone brighter than all the glitter and gold within her sphere. That is the power of humility. Thank you, Linda, for being lovingly brave. This post is brought to you by the colour Tangerine. See more

I do lots of weddings. John is incredible!!

The Strength Of One Just recently a quote danced across my newsfeed. It was 13 words of powerful, relevant, truth. Someone brilliantly summed up an essence of survival by saying, And In the endAll I learnedWas howTo be StrongAlone. Amen, right? It’s like listening to the words of your favourite song that makes you nod your head as they speak the words you long to hear. My Facebook page is generally resigned to cute puppy posts and fun little memes. Sometimes I de...viate to a more serious tone although the motive remains to connect in kindness, never to subscribe to self-indulgence. So, when I shared what I thought was a sentiment that everyone could relate to, I was somewhat surprised, and okay, maybe even enlightened that it was interpreted as my state of being. Did I relate to it? Oh, absolutely. I own that t-shirt but try to never wear it in public. When I read the quote, I wondered how many people are truly dangling by the last thread of their strength, a deeper strength, they’ve had to find since Covid-19 invaded our human beingness. How many healthcare workers fear they can’t hang on much longer? Everyone wants a piece of them. Everyone takes a piece of them. They are alone in a sea of other front-line professionals also struggling to assemble their wits and shine their strength every day. How many small business owners have bled not only their resources but also their pride, confidence and dreams? Everywhere they look, the drought steals their hope. Yet, they try. Every day, they try to find their legs to limp through the day. They, too, are alone in a sea of other small business owners also struggling to assemble their wits and shine their strength, every day. Those once proud signatures on mortgages, business loans and equipment rentals haunt them while their cash registers gather dust. When it is only you grappling with a disgruntled consumer that feels lockdowns, buying restrictions and lineups in the rain are an infringement on their rights and freedoms, and somehow you are the one to blame, that is how you learn to be strong alone. It’s you, the young Mom, with young kids crawling out of their skin because sports are cancelled, online sucks, they miss their friends, masks itch and they are boredyou learn to be strong alone as you find ways to comfort their anxious souls. Yet, your spirit is screaming for a hug at the same time. Strong alone. Then comes that dreaded moment where you don’t want to be strong and you don’t want to be alone. That is where we all need to practice gentle thoughtfullness and do what others did for me. Go the extra mile and reach out. This not my problem attitude never works in reverse. We are all alone in some fashion. We are struggling in ways we were unprepared for and most of all, we are all exhausted. Kindness is life affirming. It will keep you strong when you are alone. www.kellymeloche.com

The Colour Grey ~ Brought To You By Covid-19 They couldn’t have picked a better colour to represent Covid-19 lockdown. It’s the colour of fog. That misty, illusion creating, hallucinating provoking filter that prevents you from seeing your safe pathway forward. The more you try to restore your vision, the hazier it seems to get. Grey is the hallway between the darkness and the light. Not only do you not know what door will be the next to open, you are completely out of c...ontrol to kick one down yourself as the warrior in you is now aching for. Grey in Covid-19 is the residue of the gunpowder that has shot through the life of small businesses. Truth is, entrepreneurs are no stranger to grey when it was the price to pay for dreaming big and forging forward with faith. It was the layer that was borne from the premise of build it and they will come. Boutique clothing stores offering treasures that were handpicked by the merchant who dreamt all her life of seeing that special glow emanating from a woman who finally feels beautiful in a blouse that she never thought existed. Or the hairstylist who wakes up every morning hoping their scissors will revive a neglected Mom’s ponytail into a frame that ignites her smile. There are restaurants that welcomed in the morning breakfast regulars and perhaps served the lonely widower his daily 7am coffee, eggs over easy with a side of essential connection. Love comes in many shapes and sizes. These exchanges were/are essential services when it comes to mutually beneficial, life sustaining, kindness. The grey also represents the smokie camouflage that those same people try to hide their fear, sadness and the utter emptiness. They can’t find the no big deal fake smile nor do they want to introduce you to the darkness that has taken up some serious real estate in their psyche. Grey is the colour a musician hears as his instrument lays silent. It is the colour of the sound bite in an addicts ear that calls out to him louder than his sobriety. Grey is the colour of the phrase, I don’t know. That is the real answer to most everything lately. For many it feels terminal unless you can make a better plan. And to create that better plan you need to have a vision of tomorrow. The tools and drafting board to reinvent their lives are submerged into the fog. Grey is the colour that coats their confidence that one day, again, they will explode with passion and be reunited with the person in the mirror who reminds them daily of their worth. In the midst of the grey, there is light. It is the contrast that keeps us going. It is the people who may not be personally impacted, but are holding those who are, safely in their thoughts by showing up for them. Whether that be an unexpected pick-me-up gift or a candid conversation. If you are one of those people choosing to be the bridge so others can get to shoreI hope karma finds you pronto and gives you a rainbow of your dreams come true.

For all of those who have recently lost their fur babies

The heartwarming moment a man asks his brother with Down Syndrome, to be his Best Man.

Invisible Scars On June 6, 1932 Sarah arrived to start a life that would strengthen her soul through the sharp edges of life lessons and fill her spirit by virtue of the love that finally found her. Less than one month before Sarah was born, Amelia Earhart flew her plane across the Atlantic. I sense some her fierce woman magic dust was sprinkled on Sarah to help her get through the challenges that awaited. At the age of 8, Sarah’s father moved her from another province to ...Continue reading

Now That's Amore!! Leo was a man that spent 86 years, 10 months and 29 days effortlessly making magic within moments and leaving love in his wake. That sentence might almost sound contrite, maybe even too sappy to read on, but I encourage you to take the plunge. Born Leonardo Santamaria, yes, a signature name appropriately given to a human destined to create his own era. The remarkable journey of this epic man began on Nov. 19, 1933 in Monte Sant’ Angelo, Italy. While many...Continue reading

For having helped people cherish all the memories that linger, I am truly grateful!

This painting was made in honor of all the late grandparents of Codvid 19 who didn't manage to say goodbye to their grandchildren -artist Juan Lucena, Spanish painter of JEREZ DE LA BORDER.

Are You A Casualty of Covid-19? The casualty count from Covid-19 is as mind-blowing as the pandemic itself. There has been a massive sense of loss. Loss of freedom. Loss of finance. Loss of dreams. Loss of self and too sadly, loss of lives. It has been a pandemic of pause. Of the many things that were stunted, emotional security and stability is the most significant challenges that has left people in a vacuum of despair. Our loss of connection and comradery has been d...ebilitating. The light at the end of the tunnel represents only a speck of hope with no real promise of ever arriving. One of the most tragic wounds inflicted by Covid-19 has been the inability to celebrate moments and milestones with dignity. Transitions are milestones. They represent the roadmaps of our life stories. When someone dies, they leave behind an incredible story that impacted and shaped countless people in their lives. That story must be told. By telling the story you carve that persons’ legacy of love, laughter and lessons right into your own soul. It’s essential to acknowledge this passage, to celebrate their life, so you can move forward in yours in the healthiest of ways. Milestones missed encompass everything. Graduations, celebrations, weddings reduced to a solemn two witness ceremony, births, retirements, new chapters of your life, furbabies heading to the rainbow bridge. Everything matters to the max. The bright side is there is a creative and courageous transformation from the present to a revived sense of peace. As a Celebrant and a Professional Story-Teller, I also believe that music has a way of saying the words our hearts long to hear. As a songwriter, I know how poignant lyrics are and am grateful to have partnered with renowned talent that are musical icons within this realm. Together, we bring life into loss. We are pleased to not only continue offering our services in a Life Celebration Service but to also do our best to end the casualty count. When it comes to delayed grieving, keeping safe does not mean a surrender of our most important rituals of celebrating or saying goodbye to a loved one. Everyone is unique and that is the way we should celebrate our lives! If they loved their beautiful backyard, then we shall be there for you. Did they have a favourite patio? If so, let’s get casual and toast them in the style they loved. On the water, in a boat, at the barn, on the trailanything is possible. If the thought of this makes your heart smile, don’t remain in pause, don’t remain a casualty.. Every life is worth celebrating. For you ~ and ~ for them! Kelly Meloche ~ Sharing Stories.One Legacy At A Time www.kellymeloche.com [email protected]

Last Days Regrets Most times I write about tender lives who slipped away with a sense of peace. Most certainly fulfillment. And most definitely gratitude for the footprints they left behind. The life story I am about to tell doesn’t roll with that flow, yet I’m compelled to tell it. His survivors want it told so they can blanket others with relief. Relief that transcends to strangers becoming kindred spirits when it comes to a sword fight with the dark side. Connor was a New ...Continue reading

A Poolside Goodbye Today, I stood barefoot next to a pool in the backyard of a beautiful family that gathered to celebrate the life of their loved one. Despite the cause of death, all families are casualties of Covid-19 if they were not allowed to hold vigil during their loved ones last days or have a Celebration of life that felt whole rather than hollow. This family needed to properly honour their make-everything-better Momma. Darlene was present in the grass, the garden, i...n the wicker furniture and in the eyes of everyone that looked at me with an apologetic desperation. They needed to bring her home. Not the cosmic home but to the postal code of treasured memories. They needed her to be recognized for the piece of heaven she was while here on earth. They didn’t know what to expect, and I won’t lie, each time I am invited to lead a Celebration of Life, it makes my knees shake in gratitude. I’m not there to give a canned speech about being brave or the seven steps to perfect healing. I am there to tell the story of an amazing human that has left holes in the hearts of every single tear stained face infront of me. Life is a beautiful connection of moments that make a story. Just think of your own life. Your legacy is to have your story shared in a manner that lights up your loved ones senses just as if they were watching you on the big screen. It is most people’s innate desire to be understood and to be tucked deeply inside the souls of those remaining so they can profit from the lessons bequeathed upon them. We all are a story worthy of being shared. So, as we stay safe in this Covid-19 chapter, we also change. We are moving closer to a culture that reconnects through sensible kindness. I am optimistically certain that will not go back to many of our old ways. Some of the talk never had a walk, or at best, it had a shuffle. What we know for sure is that life is finite and simple is now somehow spectacular. We know how deeply important it is to embrace, in all ways, the people who mean the most to us. Bottom line, we are all taking steps together. And when we take our last steps, whether it be by the pool, in the barn, on the beach, in a winery or at a campground. We shall celebrate that person in their style with our grace. Sharing Stories ........ One Legacy At A Time. www.kellymeloche.com

Grieving & Gaining, Plus The 3rd G, During Covid-19 On some level, despite the unprecedented impact of this pandemic resulting in fear, sickness and sadly greed, Covid-19 will ultimately prove to be one of our grandest teachers and desperately needed recalibration of life gifts. Right now, it feels like the most obnoxious uninvited guest imaginable. Because of it, we are not hugging and holding each other. We are, as we are mandated and as a natural reaction, feeling isola...ted. A ‘final goodbye’ is a ritual that dates back centuries and transcends across the most intelligent heart centered animal kingdom. Elephants, monkeys, wolves are just a few that innately pause and gather to acknowledge that one of the own ~ a family member ~ has died. The gathering is that of respect and an integral part of the healing process. As I reflect on this current paradigm and guide Celebrations of Life to gatherings of 10 or less, I am overwhelmed with honour. Of the many things we are learning acceptance and gratitude, I believe will be the forerunners of this experience. It’s also reminded me that love doesn’t keep score nor need a crowd. The love from one single person, when given freely and unconditionally can fill a soul far more that a bus load of obligatory participants. Oftentimes we hear, I have to go to a funeral. That has changed. Now people are ignited with a deep-seated love and compelled to give more of themselves, and when they do, it’s a lottery win for their soul. We have been escorted to the platform of unconditional kindness and concern. When stripped from so many other perceived necessities and distractions, we now get it. We get what is important and are actually aware that, giving more than what you ever take, is the answer. The intensity of self-worth and peace derived from gentle thoughts and kind actions is galaxies away from the emptiness resting in the core of those operating from greed. How does a fully stocked garage of toilet paper and hand sanitizer help anyone to evolve? No heroes at that house! Life cycles never stop, not even during pandemics. Babies are carving light into the darkness and others are writing their final chapter. We shall continue to celebrate both. Whether you participate in person, or join in via social media livestream, you are woven into same wholly compassionate cloth. Knowing this and feeling its pervasiveness fill the room, gratitude feels like a magnificent rainbow of love not only dousing all of us in its colours reflective of love, support, passion, kindness and patience but this rainbow is also the conduit by which we will heal. So, take that Covid-19! Kelly Meloche www.kellymeloche.com Telling Stories.One legacy at a time

If you lose someone you love during this chapter of our lives, please remember that this is ONLY A CHAPTER. They lived an entire life story. In honour of their life and to keep your soul whole....Celebrate their life when that final page turns. We've got this ~ You need this!

The Guitar Sang Him To The Stars When Max’s wife asked me to lead her husband of 35 years Celebration of Life at their family farm I was elated. Yes! Yes, I thought this is exactly how it is supposed to happen!!! This farm was alive in itself with each barn board having been held, hoisted and a prideful shelter to generations of livestock, farm equipment and cold beer on a hot summer’s day. If a soul could be seen, this farm allowed you to see Max’s. Max was the youngest ...Continue reading

A daughter or son dying is NOT similar to: . . . a child leaving for college. . . . a child running away. . . . a child moving far away. . . . a parent’s failin...g health. . . . a parent or spouse dying. . . . a spouse cheating. . . . a marriage ending. . . . a severe medical diagnosis. . . . a dog, cat or other pet dying. . . . a friendship or job ending. These life events are all hurtful, tragic, sad and life-altering. Yet, a child dying is NOTHING like any of these losses. While each of them is heartbreaking, there is NOTHING similar to standing at a gravesite and watching your child lowered into the ground. Many people cannot comprehend the magnitude of losing a child. The reality is that unless you have walked this path, you will never understand. And that’s ok. We bereaved parents are glad that you can’t understand it. We wouldn’t wish losing a child on anyone. I have a metaphor that may shed some light: Child loss is similar to living within feet of a bottomless abyss. I’ve had several of these losses listed above. For me, these endings felt similar to jumping off a high dive into the deep end of a pool. It was heart-pounding scary, anxiety producing and surreal. Yet, I swam to where my toes could touch the bottom. The secure poolside was within sight and strokes away. Losing my daughter was/is similar to jumping off a boat into the middle of the ocean. I come up for air and the boat speeds away. There is neither a bottom to touch or sides to swim to. The body of water is massive. To not be pulled under, I have to either tread water, float or swim. I have helps such as a life vest, arm floaties or fins. There’s no sense of a break is coming. To keep going, my muscles must strengthen. I cannot pretend that I’m in a pool, but I’m facing a dark, subterranean ocean. So you can see how, similar to a jellyfish sting, hearing I know how you feel because . . . creates hurt. Unintentionally, this statement doesn’t acknowledge the oceanic depth of our pain. All this said, please stay the course with grieving parents. Losing a child is not contagious. If you spend time with us, a dark tidal wave will not consume you. Be the life preserver that uplifts your friend don’t be the boat that pulls away. Keep in mind that a bereaved parent teaches us about resilience, strength, endurance, devotion, compassion and eternal love. I’m grateful for the grieving parents who have modeled these strengths for me. As a person of faith, I believe that my daughter and I will spend eternity together. This perspective doesn’t mean that I am free of sadness here and now. Every day, I still ache for her presence. I expect to feel the same after 10 or 20 years. The grief waters won’t ever drain because my love for her is everlasting. Marie E. Guthrie It takes a village. Join ours. @ABedForMyHeart #grief #loss #childloss #lifeafterloss #abedformyheart #moms #dads #grievingparents #parenting #parentingafterloss Get the #1 best-selling book, You Are the Mother of All Mothers. A gorgeous gift book for #grieving #moms. ABedForMyHeart.com/buy/

They tell you not to cry. They tell you that it's just a dog, not a human being. They tell you that the pain will be over.... They tell you that the animals don't know that they have to die. They tell you that it's important not to let him suffer. They tell you that you can have another one. They tell you it's going to happen to you. They tell you that there is more pain. But they don't know how many times you've looked into your dog’s eyes. They don't know how many times you and your dog have looked into darkness alone. They don't know how many times your dog was the only one who was by your side. They don't know how much fear you have at night when you wake up with your grief. They don't know how many times your dog slept near you. They don't know how much you've changed since the dog has become a part of your life. They don't know how many times you hugged him when he was sick. They don't know how many times you've acted like you didn't see her hair getting whiter. They don't know how many times you've talked to your dog, the only one who really hears. They don't know that it was just your dog who knew you were in pain. They don't know what it feels like to see your old dog trying to say hello. They don't know that if things went wrong, the only one who didn't go is your dog. They don't know that your dog trusts you every moment of his life, even in the last. They don't know how much your dog loved you and how it is enough for him to be happy, because you loved him. They don't know that crying for a dog is one of the most noble, significant, true, clean and warmest things you can do. They don't know when the last time you moved him with trouble... made sure it didn’t hurt him. They don't know what it felt like to pet their face in the last moments of their life.... In Memory of all those who went over the rainbow bridge. You all have a place forever in our hearts Photo Travis Patenaude. - author Emanuele Spud Grandi