Kelsey Mech Counselling and Therapy

Today is the day! I’m finally releasing my first e-book Man Enough - a guide for supporting men in your life with the tough stuff, based on the research from my Master's degree. A big part of my work for the past two years has been supporting male survivors who have experiences of childhood trauma, abuse and neglect. I’ve learned so much about creating spaces for men, specifically, to be vulnerable in this culture of toxic masculinity and now I’m sharing all that research an...d learning. If you want to check it out it's available here: http://www.kelseymech.com/the-shop/ Understanding how we all contribute to reinforcing traditional male gender norms is vital if we are to really shift the conversation about what it means to be a man and move away from the toxic narratives and expectations placed on boys and men. We all have a role to play in shifting this culture and supporting the men in our lives, and this e-book is my attempt to provide you with the knowledge, understanding and tools to help you offer that level of support. What's included: - 40 pages of evidence based research and information exploring toxic masculinity, how feminism and support for men go hand in hand, and how to support the men in your life; - a breakdown of the 6 specific steps to follow, based on the research, that can help foster a sense of safety for men; - specific tools for supporting men you love to be vulnerable in a culture of toxic masculinity; - my own insights from my work as a trauma therapist specializing in working with male survivors; and - a collection of my poems touching on the topics of trauma, vulnerability and support to help inspire empathy and understanding or serve as conversation starters. This work is so important to me that right now I’m offering this resource on a pay what you can basis so I can get this information and awareness into the hands of as many people as possible. Contributions for my work are super appreciated though and will allow me to create more resources in the future. Again, it's here if you want to check it out: http://www.kelseymech.com/the-shop/ See more

GUESS WHAT? I’m launching a newsletter! You can sign up for it at the link below and it’ll land in your inbox every Wednesday morning (ish), with love and gratitude. Sign up: https://mailchi.mp/97859d38dc84/weeklyletters Most of my sharing happens over on Instagram, but it feels a bit limiting in terms of what I can really offer. I’ve been wanting to start writing in an email format for a while, expanding on the content I already share here and offering more. ... Here's what you are going to find in these weekly letters: - A blend of mental health knowledge, ideas and suggestions drawing on my background as a clinical counsellor; AND - My own journey of coming back into alignment with my true self (a lot of what I’ve already been sharing here, but a little more real and in depth). By combining my two passions, sharing authentically about my own journey, and weaving that together with my psychology skills and background I'm hoping to create something that's raw and honest, but also that provides tangible take aways for you. I’ll share what I’m learning (mental health info, tools, tips), what I’m living (how I’m putting it all into practice), what I’m loving (awesome resources, or whatever I’m feeling stoked on and think you need to know about), and anything that I’m launching. I so appreciate the support I have been getting from this community and I love connecting with you, so if this is your jam, let’s hang out in your email inbox as well. Click the link below to sign up: https://mailchi.mp/97859d38dc84/weeklyletters

ON ANXIETY I know anxiety inside and out. We are old friends. But it hasn’t always been that way (and I must admit, friend is still a strong word). I still struggle with anxiety but my relationship with it has changed drastically over the years. That has taken a lot of acceptance and kindness for myself and my anxiety, but also a lot of practice with various coping tools. When you are experiencing anxiety and it’s becoming overwhelming, one thing you can tr...y is reading these coping statements to yourself. Or perhaps pick one or two that really resonate and write them out somewhere you see them often. Or make your own! Using our thinking to remind ourselves that we are safe and can handle our anxiety can help us take back control of our nervous system and soothe ourselves. I LOVE hearing from you! What do you tell yourself when anxiety creeps up? What reminders are helpful to you? Share in the comments below. See more

The language self-care gets thrown around so much and it’s often associated with really unachievable ideals. We are exposed to this instagram picture-perfect and often expensive version of self-care involving rose petal baths and artistic lattes. But really, self-care ritual can involve taking any part of your daily routine and adding intention to it. I’ve really struggled with being mindful and present lately and being okay with whatever is in the moment. So... I’m going to be trying to add more intention into some of my daily routine as well - transforming the typical routine into self-care. Here are some ideas of ways to do this. I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions as well: - in the shower - set an intention of using that time to love your body and actually notice the smells of the shampoo and sensation of your hands on your skin - making coffee/tea - set an intention for how this will nourish you or brighten your day before making it and then imagine that intention entering your body as you sip I’ll be trying to ritualize these two parts of my day by adding an intention to the process and trying to stay mindful and focused on the present moment without distraction. What small routine acts do you already ritualize as self-care? Or where would you like to try to begin? See more

Let’s talk about ANXIETY. Anxiety is something I have firsthand experience with, and also support clients with often. When it becomes all encompassing I know just how helpless it can make us feel. When I work with clients who struggle with anxiety, I like to break it down into these four quadrants. There are lots of ways we can start responding to and supporting ourselves through anxiety, and these four quadrants provide four different levels. We... can live with anxiety proactively, through both cognitive (thinking) and embodied (body) responses. And we can respond reactively, through both cognitive and embodied responses. There’s not just one way to manage anxiety there are many and this framework provides some options. PROACTIVE COGNITIVE responses involve befriending our anxiety, coming to know it, recognizing what it can provide us and how it can actually help us, accepting its presence in our lives and anticipating when it will arise. PROACTIVE EMBODIED responses involve listening to what soothes our anxiety and making lifestyle choices to make us less vulnerable to anxiety when it does come up. REACTIVE COGNITIVE responses involve rationalizing, reasoning, checking the facts, looking for evidence and trying to respond to your anxious thinking with self-talk that helps soothe. REACTIVE EMBODIED responses involve deep breathing, grounding tools (such as 5-4-3-2-1 or other strategies to bring you back to the present), or self-soothing your body with warmth or comfort. Anxiety can make us feel stuck, but remember there are LOTS of options for responding and managing anxiety. Let me know if this post is helpful and if you’d like to hear more about anxiety in the future. See more

Are you a support worker/frontline worker in Victoria, or know someone who is? My coworker and I are offering a therapy group for individuals working in these positions. As a support worker turned counsellor, I know how hard these work environments can be - witnessing violence and suffering every day under high stress and/or crisis conditions. It takes a toll on the nervous system, makes it hard to regulate our emotions, and leads to ongoing stress and anxiety... all of which... is normal given what people in these positions are dealing with. This group is intended to help participants identify the toll of this work in a way that allows them to proactively respond through trauma-informed practices. We're still accepting applicants to the pilot stage of the group! Please check out the details here and pass it on to anyone you think might be a good fit!

This question is everything for me lately. I’ve made some brave leaps that have felt terrifying. But whenever I ask myself this I find my internal compass steers directly back to what really matters - love, happiness, health. It helps quiet the shoulds and the pressures of society’s expectations and ideas of success. So next time you are facing a hard decision, or don’t know how to move forward, think about yourself years from now and imagine what advice that older version would have for you.

Have you ever totally over-reacted and in the moment had it feel totally justified, only to look back and realize your reaction was way out of proportion to the facts of the situation? ME! When we get overwhelmed by strong emotions - anger, sadness, fear, jealousy, to name a few - it can be easy to shut down, make assumptions, and jump to conclusions. One process that can be helpful is to check the facts in order to determine if your reaction is actually ...rational given the situation at hand. These six questions can be super helpful in the moment to help us figure out if our reaction is rational, help us decrease overwhelm, and come to terms with the facts of the situation. How do you actually use this? Keep this saved on your phone and when you find yourself facing emotional overwhelm, open it up and talk yourself through these questions. I almost guarantee you’ll find a little more space and calm. If some of these questions don’t resonate or help - skip them. Take what works and leave the rest! See more

One way of creating change in our reactions and behaviours is to really come to know and understand the chain of events that brought us to that point. And then, to ask ourselves where along that chain of events we can make changes? Drawing from CBT and DBT models, this framework can be really helpful. I would encourage you to apply this to any situation in which you end up outwardly acting or reacting in a way you would like to shift. Start by ge...tting really honest with yourself about anything making you more vulnerable to acting that way. Stress? Drinking? Mental health? Illness? Grief? Then get clear on what specifically was the event that prompted your reaction. From there, it can help to write out, in detail, all the feelings, beliefs, thoughts, physical sensations and other internal responses you had to that event that ultimately led to your behaviour or reaction. From there, identify the consequences and be honest about them. So now you know what you’re working with. This is the cycle. That’s awesome because it means you can start to find intervention points at which to shift it. Ask yourself the questions on the image here to try and begin considering ways of shifting this pattern. Making these shifts is not easy. It takes a lot of practice. But slowly over time you’ll notice changes. Bringing honesty and awareness to your patterns and determining what you can take responsibility for is the first step. Be gentle with yourself #selflove #selfcare #breakingthestigma #therapistsofinstagram #therapy #mentalhealth #youarenough #anxiety #depression #anxietyhacks #selfhelp #gentlereminders #mentalhealthmatters #recovery #recoverywarrior #recoveryispossible #trauma #mentalhealthwarrior #livingwithdepression #thebeautifulreal #keepliving #hashtagauthentic #cbt #dbt #selfloveclub #techniquetuesday #grounding #therapytools See more