Karen Guitman, Registered Psychotherapist

The Multiplicity of Us Most often we tend to see ourselves as a unity; from this perspective when we have struggles or issues then we might say to ourselves, I have a problem. Seeing ourselves as a multiplicity, as beings composed of many ‘parts,’ can allow us to view ourselves as a healthy human being who has parts of themselves that are struggling, or experiencing a problem. This difference may seem small, however, it can make the process of working on our struggles seem ...a bit more doable or achievable, since it is not ‘all’ of me that has this problem. Connected to this concept of being a complex system of parts, is that within each of us is a core, a ‘Self,’ that is capable of helping all of those parts of ourselves to achieve and maintain an inner balance and harmony. There are many types of therapy that view the human being from this perspective. One such theory, called Internal Family Systems (Richard Schwartz, PhD), offers a way to help us understand our internal systems and how we might strengthen and enable our ‘Self’ to do the work of bringing back the balance and harmony to our inner system. This empowering perspective really views each human being as capable of becoming an active and fully involved part of their own healing journey. See more

Sharing some sage advice.

The point of change isn’t to make yourself happy. The point of change is to grow, to show up for yourself, to express yourself, to be an example of what’s possible, to test the limits, to have new experiences. You can be happy and grateful for where you are and still choose to change everything, just because you want to. Sam Laura Brown Change can be a very scary word. Parts of us can really be comfortable with our environments, with our routines, even when those might no...t be healthy or serving our own wellbeing. Sometimes it can feel like staying in the security of the known is better than facing something that is not known. It takes great courage to venture into the unknown, to take those first steps into a new existence, into self-responsibility, to begin the healing process. According to Internal Family Systems (Schwartz, Richard, 1995), this requires that we first listen to all the parts of ourselves that are comfortable, that have helped create our current environment, our reactions, our routines of living. These parts created this environment based on the best information and experiences they had at their disposal. Bringing new, updated information to those parts, and cultivating the ability to be courageous and take responsibility for our own healing and change can give those parts the ability to let go, and trust that we know what is best for us; that we can make the changes that will move us forward on our healing journey. See more

The other day I was out for a walk, enjoying the crisp fall weather, when I came around a bend and a sight made me catch my breath. There, where only a couple of weeks ago there had been a gravel lot overgrown with what I thought were weeds, was a beautiful field of sunflowers, all craning their necks to face the full bright sunlight. As I paused to take some photos, I took in the fiery reds, purples and yellows of this clear, almost autumn day and I was filled with awe at th...e wonder of nature and gratitude for the beauty that surrounded me. I was very grateful to those beautiful sunflowers, for causing me to pause on my walk long enough to take in the wonders that were all around me. It reminded me that sometimes just pausing in our busy lives to take in the hidden surprises that surround us all the time can sometimes make such a difference in our moods and in our outlook towards the day. See more

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. Carl Rogers This quote from Carl Rogers really expresses the type of love and acceptance of ourselves which needs to take place before any lasting healing can take place within ourselves. Internal Family Systems focuses on first becoming aware of our inner world, of all the parts of ourselves that are interacting and reacting to each other and to the world around us, usually underneath our con...sciousness. Bringing this activity into the light of day allows us to see ourselves in a deeper way. The focus then becomes expressing appreciation and love for all of the parts of ourselves that we have discovered; even, and perhaps especially, for those parts of us that give us a hard time. The parts that cause us to lose our temper, drink excessively, take drugs, etc. All of these parts are working to protect us, although the methods they are choosing to use to do that may not always be helpful or healthy. Acceptance, understanding and appreciation for these parts, from our Self, allows them to change, to release their current method of helping us and to learn new ways of dealing with the challenges and the pain. As these parts of ourselves learn to trust our Self and know that we are capable of dealing with anything that life brings us, they are able to take on new roles and new jobs, helping us to have access to all of the gifts that we have within us. See more