Kicking anxiety's butt

I started this page a hot minute ago - in 2012 I took back my health, kicked it with some Shaun T & Chalene workouts and took my health back - mental and physical. I suffered a burnout that turned out to be the single most helpful thing I have ever lived through. I am a knowledge seeker, I love to find solutions and so when I landed on burnout that is what I did...I looked for solutions, found things Tam enjoyed and made time for them. I have always been pretty good at get...ting back to what works but this 2020 bullshit has put that old habit to the test. In March when everyone was told to stay home, I was essential services so off to work I went. I was a nervous wreck for the first few weeks, worried about my health and our driver’s health as they continued to drive into New York City at it’s worst. Add to that helping my teen homeschool herself - with ADHD and internet and grocery shopping for two couples who were too at risk to do it themselves. Exhaustion because at the same time my noisy head had me cleaning the house before I left every morning to keep my kiddo safe...anxiety is no fun. As time progressed, my workouts and motivation were sliding - I missed my fitness class, I missed my family, my cups of tea at my gramma’s but we carried on. I started to pull out a couple of weeks ago - with the help of a physio I brought my knee back to healthy and with the addition of workouts, I was feeling pretty good and feeling like the climb was going well. Last night after discussing the terrible situation in Lebanon and the return to school, I woke up with an all too familiar lump in my throat, the beginnings of a panic attack and I got up and took some time to breathe and back out. My daughter joined me she had a nightmare too - Everyone out there right now is nervous, scared as hell or unsure. Be kind to yourselves, be kind to others and know if anxiety is back visiting, you are not alone... Breathe in breathe out anxiety warriors we are all in this together and I have your back

I feel this shit deep in my soul....2020 needs to get done...even if it means a return of snow....and Christmas shopping....lol I am tired but I am climbing out of the hole that Covid and 2020 has helped me dig myself into....gradually an inch at a time....

My workouts and sweaty selfies are for my mental health - they are my anti depressant and keep me from the overwhelm spiral. With Covid 19, my anxiety can get pretty out of control and this summer after steppung out of my camper to a step that wasn’t there, I took out my knee - and my ability to stop the spiral. I sat there for a while, I was grumpy ad miserable and mad that such a stupid (though surely entertaining to see me fall out with six pillows for anyone who saw) mo...ve - but I realized that I can sit in misery and count down to the end of this year or move forward - I chose physio to strengthen the knee. I am so grateful, my legs and their strength are hands down my best feature...and working to get that knee back so I can go all in on my workouts in two weeks has given me back my Mojo. It’s ok to sit with the hard for a while, just make sure when you get back up you are ready to fight

We have all had those moments, where life feels out of control, like we cannot possibly handle another thing - since March and the start of the pandemic I have felt misaligned - my energy going in a million directions and my anxiety up in the roof. This past week I spent some time reflecting, handing off some responsibility to a higher power, I concentrated on being present, on breathing in and out, on working on the PT exercises to getting myself and my knee back to exercising. It felt great and I am ready for whatever my PT tells me today - hoping that I can resume exercise; looking forward to sitting down tonight and putting forth my plan for the end of this year and showing it who is boss instead of the other way around. If you have never listened to Gabby Bernstein, you need to check this one out!

So Covid 19 has been kicking my ass - a kiddo home since March, working all the way through, unable to see the folks in my circle - I somehow stayed above the water but man was I tired of treading water....exhausting AF. I got back into my workouts and 2020 delivered a sprained knee and so I sat in a pile of poor me for a hot minute. Then I remembered that I am a woman of solutions, problems require solutions- so after listening to some awesome coaches and mentors, I pulled ...myself back off the back burner - I found a PT and started strenth exercises to build up my knee to get back ASAP, I decided that I needed to focus on me for a bit, not my family, not my friends or even all those folks on FB who live to find someone to fight with. My teen is joining me which is a huge win I am motivated because I unplugged some personal development and I changed my goals because a number on the scale or a pants size isn’t why I work out - it’s because I have some patrerns to bust through, it’s because I have anxiety and without workouts that bitch is in charge. Grateful for memers of my BB fam, for a certain soul mate super trainer who told me and a gang of his Dig deeper nation today to toss the scale, for my teen that jumps in, for the coaches that help me and for me for jumping back in - and for figuring out the way to not let stuff like extra responsibilities or Pandemics pull me into that state of anxiety If you are still here watching give me a sign below - anxiety sucks and we all need folks that understand