Koli Reyes

There is a difference between excusing toxic behavior, and seeking to understand toxic behavior in the pursuit of healing and restoration. As a reminder: expla...nations are not justifications. Will be doing a live and podcast on this soon! Subscribe to my podcast here so you never miss an episode: https://anchor.fm/cleaningupthementalmess

NEW PODCAST OUT (273)! In this episode I interview psychiatrist, professor and author Dr. Jud Brewer on: how anxiety drives our lives & what we can do to break... the habit loops that keep us anxious techniques to uproot anxiety at its source and manage our triggers how to train our brains using mindfulness and other practices that his lab has proven can work how to hack your brain’s reward system to overcome anxiety (and other unhealthy habits) And more! To listen just look for Cleaning up the Mental Mess wherever you listen to podcasts or visit: https://anchor.fm//How-to-break-the-cycles-of-worry--fear- And if you enjoy listening to my podcasts please consider leaving a review and keep sharing episodes with friends and family, and on social media (don’t forget to tag me!)

Pink and tangerines are bestfriends.

I took a huge risk! I wanted to interview Zach Mercurio after taking his class with Simon Sinek. I really had to get over Who am I to approach this guy?? I w...as thrilled when he said YES to an interview and he blew my mind The reason I wanted to interview him wasn’t because of Simon Sinek, but because he talks about belonging and why people need to know they matter. Belonging doesn't mean anything to someone who doesn't know they matter. It’s not your big title or promotion that counts, it’s your EMPATHY and COMPASSION for humans. Check out the full podcast on Spotify or Apple on this link: http://linktr.ee/wellnessinnovate

My go-to fruit this season.

It is what I call accidental emotional injury.

I’m grieved when I see Christians living with limited, powerless, finite thinking. How is this even possible? We have the Creator of the Universe living inside ...of us, the mind of Christ thinking through us, and the Spirit of God influencing the world around us. We believers are not victims or helpless weaklings, hiding in the corner somewhere, hoping the devil doesn’t destroy us. We are victors God’s solutionaries, commissioned to take revelation and solve earth’s challenges. To top it off, God does not just reveal the truth to us; He has put the Spirit of revelation in us so that we become co-revealers of truth. He is giving us spiritual intelligence in a way that will attract the world. This is the hope of His calling, the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints and the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. This is ityou are blessed, glorious and powerful, the light of the world, the hope of the nations, Christ’s answer to the world’s problems! #kvm #thesqbook

What is some piece of advise or something you’ve heard lately that’s really made you think, changed your life, or helped you through a tough time? Leave your answer in the comments below!

I learned this from our Great Author, and now, reading Dr. Leaf’s book. Effective, life changing amd so sharing to those who want to live a joyful life. #choicetobefree

For the person thinking about going to therapy: I’m proud of you. For the person just starting therapy: you are amazing. For the person just starting to recog...nize they have un-healed trauma and need help healing: you are incredibly. For the person recognizing toxic family patterns and wanting to end generational trauma: you are my hero. https://www.cleaningupyourmentalmess.com

What are some of the best texts or messages you’ve gotten when having a bad day, or when experiencing a mental health struggle? Leave a comment! Sometimes a si...mple text can make a world of difference for someone struggling. Be kind because you can never truly know what someone is going through And if you want to FREE receive weekly text messages from me with tips, mental health strategies and more just text DRLEAF to 8332853747 or click here: https://drleaf.attn.tv/p/IIE/landing-page

***Attention to all who are unoffendable***. Please read Friends We are just a few weeks into 2021 but I want to share something from my heart. ... I think it’s important to realize that at this point in history there is a great temptation to live in our own echo chambers and to quickly build walls of ‘offense against others’ in order to defend what we think. This especially happens when we are exposed to thinking that is not like our own. Why does The desire to be ‘right’ seem to dominate our hearts rather than the desire to understand those that we share history with? Maybe it’s time we begin to ‘make camp’ in the camp of our ‘enemies’ because in doing so we might learn that our greatest enemy is surprisingly not those who disagree with us but our enemy is the ‘enemy within’. I find that for many, we have become so intoxicated with using ‘science’ as a trump card to prove our point not acknowledging that science cannot make us more human or less human than we already are. If our application of ‘our own enlightened intelligence’ is used to dehumanize anyone we are ALL losing out. That person who is the object of your frustration because they ‘just don’t get it’ or are full of that ‘ism’ bias - listen to yourself carefully ... don’t let yourself slip into dehumanizing them into an ‘idiot, numbskull, sheep or blind naive follower’ In doing so you have just propagated the very thing that you are fighting against! I don’t have to agree with you or convince you to see things my way in order to recognize you have immense value in this world and that your existence is more than serendipitous. There is a better way... a way where we can live better. A way To honour and to value our expressions, our shared humanity, our Perspectives, and our need for each other (even when it’s tough to understand another’s view). One thing that I am learning more than ever is that ALL of us, regardless of race, gender, status, political party, professional training, body of experience or credentials - we really don’t have a handle on what we are in or what we have before us. We are all just flawed humans trying to do the best with the tools we have in front of us. Some tools are blunt and uncomfortable to work with or rarely used; other tools are sharp and pointed, others crafted for fine detailed work BUT all tools are needed (and best shared in humility) - we are all trying to use the tools allotted to us BUT my appeal to all of us is to use them with grace and wisdom. Especially in these days! There are many opinions but opinions won’t change our circumstance let alone change the world. Opinions will not get us to where we need to go so can we all take a collective pause from inserting them into our conversations ad Nauseam? Some things that will change our circumstance (and the world) Honour to others, compassion, and kindness and sacrifice. Where are the ones with willingness to be ‘UNOFFENDABLE’, to seek to understand, quick to listen and slow to speak and to lay aside ‘my right to be heard’ to uphold honour for one another? If you are one of these unoffendables (or even want to be one) ... we need you to step into, step up and show up now! We need you! It’s your time. 2021 is a season that needs US all to be unoffendable - it’s the posture I will do my best to walk out this year. I can’t do it alone ... I’ll need God’s help and yours too - anyone in?

Fear is a powerful emotion and one that can be protective. But it can also cause unnecessary anxiety when we fear something in the future or we fear sometime we... did in the present that was not correct and will have consequences. But is this fear based on assumption or fact? Are you assuming you know how someone will respond or what they are thinking? Learning to question emotions is a powerful skill. It’s ok to feel fear, but you don’t have to accept and react to it. You do not have to act on every emotion to honor it. You simply need to acknowledge it’s presence and why it’s making an appearance. So how do you deal with fear? 1. Gather awareness of the emotional & physical warning signals fear is causing 2. Reflect on the signals and situation by asking why questions. Why do you feel fear? 3. Write down your answers. Writing is a powerful tool to bring clarity! 4. Re-check what you just wrote to find patterns or triggers, and to go deeper with your analysis. What would you tell a friend who is struggling with a particular fear? 5. Active reach/action step: create a statement to help you to remember to question your fear, talk to a therapist or trusted friend, confront your fear by giving yourself a few mins (no more than 5mins) to imagine the worst case scenario then (and this is the important part!) Visualize how you would best manage the worst case scenario These 5 steps are the fundamentals of my scientifically tested Neurocycle- which is a mind-management system I developed to help people clean up their mental mess. When used over 63 days you can effectively & sustainably unwire toxic thinking habits and rebuild healthy new neural networks. You can learn more in my new book Cleaning up Your Mental Mess: https://www.cleaningupyourmentalmess.com

Some reminders that have been helping me a lot lately. https://www.cleaningupyourmentalmess.com

I did a few podcasts on how to navigate difficult family relationships, how to set & enforce boundaries, and how to deal with triggers while in quarantine. To l...isten just look for Cleaning up the Mental Mess wherever you listen to podcasts or visit: https://anchor.fm/cleaningupthementalmess Image by @justgirlproject

Anger is a secondary emotion. When we get angry, sometimes it means that our body is responding to something: it can be failed expectations, it can be injustice, or others. It’s helpful to first identify the primary emotion why we are angry. That way, we will learn to control our anger, it will help us to be slow in becoming angry, train in longsuffering and ultimately be loving. Anyway, emotions and feelings come from relationships, and we get affected by our relationships which we are called and created for. What are you angry about? What makes you angry? Be angry, yet do not sin. #lovealways