Our Life: Pure & Simple

My son says this is accurate. This helps my neuro-typical brain understand so much better!

My children injured a child today. We went down to Birchwood and the kids ran over to the swing set while I ordered us lunch inside. I walk out the door in time to see a mom carrying her sobbing toddler away towards the car and a dad talking to my distraught boys. I rushed over, trying to seem calm, but beating myself up for letting them go outside without me.... Hey boys, you look sad. Is everything okay? My oldest locked grief-stricken eyes with me. The dad answered, They are sad, but it’s okay. They were swinging on the swings and my son walked in front. It’s not their fault. My oldest needed a minute, so we went over to the mom tending to her baby’s bleeding lip. I offered to grab some ice. It’s okay, she said, His teeth went into his lip, but the bleeding has just about stopped already. I saw it as it was happening and I yelled, but I couldn’t get there fast enough. I got it. I’d been there before. I commiserated with her. Being a mama is so tough. I collected the boys and we went in to have lunch. Joey could not shake it off. He had been pushing his brother on the swing and felt like it was all his fault. Then the dad came in and did the kindest thing... He brought the boys some chocolate milks and a cookie each. He told Joey that his quick thinking in grabbing the swing meant that his son didn’t get hit a second time. He told me that Joey checked right away to make sure his son was okay. Thanked them again, offered a kind word, and left. These beautiful people stopped and took the time to make my kids feel better, when they had their own hurting baby to take care of. And my kids noticed. Ben commented: Wow, what a nice guy. Those people were so nice. They could’ve yelled at the boys for not watching, or at me for not being there. I could have gotten angry that the mom yelled Watch out! or didn’t grab her child fast enough. Instead, our kids got to see how a village works today. They got to see grace, empathy, kindness and forgiveness in action. To those parents, I don’t know who you are, but thank you. It was a privilege being in your village today.

I lay on my bed, paralyzed. Weighed down by my own unmet expectations. It was the end of a long, exhausting week that started with an IEP meeting where I tried to make sure we were advocating for Joey and also building positive relationships with the staff at his new school. In my own classroom, I tried to meet the multiple needs, set boundaries and also encourage engagement and learning. On Friday afternoon I walked into our messy house, facing a weekend of cleaning and M...aster’s homework, and I laid down on my bed. Joey found me, and sat next to me, rubbing my back. You look tired. Are you okay? I’d also just gotten his Interim report. It left me wondering if we should have made different goals that would support him better, so I answered, I’m just worried about you. I want to make sure you get the help you need at school. He started telling me how wonderful his teachers were. How, even if the work was too hard, they let him know that he mattered and that he had a place in his classroom. I realized as he talked that he lives every day in vulnerability. Each day, he goes to school knowing that he doesn’t have all the skills and abilities the other kids do. But he goes, trusting in his teachers to help him. Trusting his friends to accept him. Trusting that I wouldn’t send him if he couldn’t do it. I was humbled by his courage. I’m so proud of your attitude and how hard you work every day, Joe. And that was when he did such a Joey thing. He made it about someone else. I’m proud of you, Mom. You got an A on your Masters paper. I wouldn’t be able to do that. I reminded him that I wouldn’t have been able to do that when I was eleven either. He smiled that beautiful smile and looked at me in that way that makes me feel like he’s seeing into my soul... Look how far you’ve come. I have a lot to learn from Joey. How to live each day with love and courage. How to revel in the wonder of what could be. And how to embrace the beauty of where I am and where I’ve come from. We’ve come a long way, Joey.

A new season is approaching. School starts today. There was mist on the ground when I got up, and the air holds the sharp promise of Fall. I love Fall. I love the crisp leaves. Sun shining on golden trees. Warm sweaters. New notebooks. Hot coffee. A change is coming. I can sense it’s vibration and I feel restless with anticipation. Sometimes it makes me feel uneasy. Fear creeps in and threatens to steal my joy at the fresh start. It tried to make a nightmare of Possibility. ...But not today. Today I have chosen to allow no foothold for worry. No crags for doubt to creep in. Today I embrace the Unlimited Potential of myself at the threshold of a New Beginning. Come with me. Take a breath... ... and step... See more

Dear Mom in the Save On parking lot, If it was you unloading in the Save On parking lot today, listening to my oldest begin to slip into a meltdown... thanks for saving me! He might’ve just seemed like a grumpy kid shooting attitude, but he is dealing with invisible disabilities and he was actually doing a pretty good job (for him) of trying to keep it together and communicate what he needed. The sweetly gracious way you offered to take my buggy back, freed me up to support h...im and respond to his needs by getting him out of there faster. You have no idea how grateful I am. It can be difficult navigating the ins and outs of our days, not knowing what may trigger him and knowing that others are watching and - sometimes - judging. Parenting a child with special needs is never straightforward. I compare it to going into a basement for something. The parent of a typical child turns on the light, goes down the stairs, gets something off the shelf (maybe they have to look a bit, but it’s there) and they go back up. Parenting, for me, is stumbling down those stairs in the dark, while someone helpfully asks, Why don’t you just turn on the light? There is no light. Sometimes, I have a little flashlight, and if I shine it in the right place, and the item I need is where it’s supposed to be, it’s not too hard. Other times there’s no light, cobwebs everywhere and everything is in a jumble. I never know what to expect when I go down there. And it can feel scary and overwhelming. For him and me. Thankfully, this time he knew what he needed and where it was. Thankfully, today I had a flashlight. It was you. Thank you for your light. See more

This really resonated with me this week. I’ve been focusing on self-care a lot since my summer break started. But self-care isn’t all bubble baths and massages... it’s learning how to value myself enough to take care of me. It’s learning that I am worthy of more than an I don’t care mentality. I was saying that to myself a lot: I don’t care, I’m eating a bag of chips. I don’t care, I don’t need to wash my face. I’m tired.... I don’t care, the dishes will wait and I will read my book. The problem wasn’t the chips, or the dirty face or the messy kitchen... the problem was that what I was doing wasn’t coming from a place of love for myself. It was coming from a place of unworthiness. I may as well have been saying: I’m not worthy of healthy food that makes me feel good. I’m not worth the extra minute it will take to clean my face and nourish my skin. I deserve the break-outs. I’m not worth the calm that comes with walking into a clean kitchen. One day I sobbed all day, feeling so incredibly low... and the whole time I knew I could put on oils or do a meditation, or both!, and feel better. But I chose to wallow and feel helpless instead. I could have helped myself, I CHOSE not to. So I’m working on choosing to love myself, and choosing self-worth and giving up the things that hold me back from health and happiness. I deserve it. You do too. See more

I am passionate, soulful and positive! What about you?

I used to buy into the myth that to be a good person I had to put myself last. I needed people to like me (never mind if I didn’t like them). I needed to make everyone happy (even though I was not). That my success was measured by how busy, burnt out and neglected I was. Does this sound familiar? I haven’t been posting much lately. I’ve been holding space for myself and learning how to nurture all the growing pieces of me. It’s a process involving light and shade, activity a...nd rest. I’m learning. How to not resent people for asking things of me, because I can say no. How to accept myself and my feelings, but not play victim to them. How to accept those around me, but set boundaries with love and peace. I’m learning the power of true stillness. That true control is actually release. And that only I can ever fully appreciate all the beauty that is in me. If I don’t acknowledge it, I can’t share it with others. If you connect with these words, let me encourage you: You are a window to light and vistas! Open your curtains to the world, take time to lovingly polish the glass. The world needs your loveliness. Embrace yourself and Shine bright. See more

The view out of my back window. So grateful to live in the midst of such beauty! #nature #farmhouse #farmliving #beautifulbc #grateful

I did something I was proud of yesterday. But I almost did something I would have been ashamed of. My youngest was having a meltdown about going to tutoring. He was rude and belligerent, the anger was rippling off him in waves. I pulled up to the tutor’s and opened his door and he grabbed the seat and refused to let go. I stood there on the brink. I wanted to rip his hands off his car seat and drag him into the tutor’s and walk away. I didn’t want to be around him or his att...itude. I wanted to disconnect from him and all of the dysfunction happening in the back seat of my car. He wasn’t going to win this. I reached around him, about to pull... ... and something clicked in my head. If I did this, I wasn’t going to win either. In fact, I’d feel like a loser. So I hugged him. He didn’t hug me back. I sent my oldest in to tutoring. Drove to a Tim Horton’s and got that crazy, angry little Hulk a bagel and went to a park. Half a bagel, and a minute into a quiet walk, he apologized. Then we got to talk. About his frustration with learning, about giving up, about falling down and getting back up. After an hour he was ready, and we went back to tutoring. When I was focused on controlling the behaviour, I escalated it. When I took it personally and made it about me, I disconnected from him. But when I stopped, focused on understanding his needs, and met those needs - I created trust, connection and ultimately, learning. I gave him time and space, and then we got where we needed to go. As is often the case, my experience in parenting got me thinking about teaching... How do we show our students we love them when they are challenging? How do we connect with them when they are acting out? Time and space. Two things we are always needing more of in a classroom, especially if class sizes grow the way the government is hoping. If our job is simply instructing and handing out assignments, a computer could do it. Our job is connecting children: to us, to learning, to each other and to the world around them. We can’t create those connections without love. A loved student is a learning student. How can I create Time and Space for love? The real question is, how can I not?

So, I love essential oils. They have changed my life in radical ways. And I love helping people who need info about them or support. However, it was become very apparent to me that my journey is taking me away from this focus and onto something else. I’m learning so much about my potential and how I can use my passion for education and educators to contribute to an educational system that desperately needs big changes. I’m still here, I’m still using oils, I’m still happy to support you! I am just embracing my calling in another area. I hope you’ll all continue to Follow this page and my journey. Big, beautiful things ahead!

Sometimes stuck is comfortable. Sometimes stuck seems safe. Stuck means you can’t fall. Stuck means familiar. But it also means pressure. Too tight. Boring. Mundane. What if you’re bigger than the place you’ve settled for? What if you’re meant to reach? Climb! Stretch! Grow into a beautiful, riskier, more authentic you. #highestpotential #transformation #oolagrow