Cycles

Legacy is what we leave behind for those who follow; for those whom remain once we have gone. Have you ever sat with the reality that the world will continue once you die? Have you embraced the certainty that the belongings and places, the people and pathways, familiar haunts and beloveds , dreams and desires that were were the dominion of You and the accumulation of your lifetime, will no longer be? ... There will be a shifting and a rearranging when You die, a reordering and a recounting. Some bits of your life shall fade away and other bits will remain, burnished with Love's patina, hallowed and dear. Some moments will be forgotten, some misremembered, some regretted but You shall have no part in any of it. Some dreams will be end abruptly in the moment of your death while some might live on, reimagined and reshaped, becoming the dreams of some other. All of your memories shall be lost...the stories and smells and tastes and touches that you carried with you for a lifetime, memories of your eyes and ears and brain and cells; memories of your heart. Your belongings, the trappings and relics and paraphernalia that were the touchable, tangible measure of your journey will be sorted through, hopefully by someone You loved but perhaps not. Some items will be held, lovingly , in your memory while others will be discarded, meaningless without the memories that went with You. Somethings...precious words or photographs, favourite books, papers, perhaps letters or childish pictures drawn by little hands will be thrown in bags and boxes and cans, scraps of nothing without You and all that You held. The physical reality of what life you had shall be dismantled. Your experiences will be unravelled, broken apart, untethered and released; perhaps quickly, maybe slowly but it will happen. The bits that remain..parts dear and not so dear will change slowly over time. Some will go on to new realities that have nothing to do with You and others will move forward, bravely, changed by the absence you leave. It is a heavy thought, this thought of death and what it means, this talk of legacy and memories and a lifetime distilled... but it is a thought that begs exploration. I invite you to sit with these thoughts.

Thought of the day... Dying is not something that happens to us but rather something that we do. Our bodies are designed to die and there is a complex and overriding protocol that the body follows in the last days, hours, minutes and breaths of a life.... This stage of living is called active dying and we know, in every single cell, how to participate. Want to know more about active dying? Cycles@letstalkaboutdying #askadeathdoula #deathdoula #itm #contemplativeendoflifecare #eolconsultant #deathpractice #cycles #deathadvocate #legacy #vigil

Autumn has always been a time of deep reflection and bittersweet poignancy, a time of beauty and loss and raw truth. Autumn has always been a pot of soup against the chill in the air, a bright burning fire against the early dark and a peaty whiskey for company against the ache of goodbye. I find myself thinking, often these shorter days of summer waning, of endings and transitions and what it means to grow old. Today, I awoke suddenly into the realisation that I am at t...he end of something nameless, but precious beyond measure. I cannot quite shake this feeling from my soul, and it stirs and churns me , turning me over and under and over again like an unexpected wave on still water. The year, on a cusp and I too am teetering on the brink of something vast and magnificent and heart wrenchingly real. I sit upon my summer deck, inhaling the cold beauty of this day and reaching for whatever warmth I might find in a light that grows achingly thinner, if not clearer. I cannot, in this fading warmth, this fading light and fading season ignore the clarity this time of the year offers. We are temporary beings on this earth . Our time is short. I am not quite old but I am certainly not young. My precious daughters have become women and are embarking on meaningful journeys that no longer include me. I can no longer ignore that my own Mother is suddenly frail and fading, wise and beautiful and beloved as she is. We are all 3 generations approaching something new; ending and beginning. We are Maiden, Mother, Crone. Spring, Summer, Autumn. Life Death, Rebirth. Cycles within cycles within cycles . We are the sacred spiral that never ends and yet we shall end...too fast, too soon and always unexpectedly even when we know it approaches. Autumn comes, as she comes every year, burnished and stately and offering up a cornucopia of the sweetest days. She brings with her a lifetime in a season; days overflowing with evocative smells, riots of colour and beautiful moments of light against shadow. Autumn is the luminescence of Life starkly silhouetted against the inevitability of Death. This year, this moment, I can taste this truth. I regret summer ending too soon, all of the things I meant to do but never got around to doing; all the herbs I did not harvest, the plans I did not make, the projects I did not finish, the places I did not go and the promises I did not keep to myself and to those I love. I count the dreams and goals and moments and relationships and hands and hugs I have not held as tightly as I could have. I sit, unmoving, in the knowledge that there is no longer time left to squander (perhaps there never was )and the moments that have passed are gone and I try to hold space for this most meaningful gift of all from fleeting Autumn as she approaches...this gift of Death's certainty...that she reminds us to live See more

Today is a day of inspired choice and action as we take our first step forward together as Death Doulas. Tracey and I are excited and humbled by this opportunity to share a Living Approach to Dying with our communities through our business, Cycles. Follow along on our journey to change the death paradigm. We hope to empower individuals, families and community through informed choice and end of life planning.... Visit us @letstalkaboutdying and make yourself comfortable! Let the dialogue begin...