Love You More, Grief

Why did I have to find my self-care/self-help book on the bottom shelf in the back corner on the store? Why was the topic of loss hidden? I recently had a discussion about self-care. I definitely have been one that read a bunch of books in how to better myself for the future and learn how to fix things to achieve the best version of myself. But with every book, instagram account and self-care/self-help trend I didn’t think it was helping. They were just trying to fix my i...ssue and put an end to it instead of teaching me how to live and cope with them. Just like loss (literally the root to most self care issues) people try to fix a person when they are processing a loss. It doesn’t have to be the death of a person, it could be the loss of a grade in school you were trying to achieve, the loss of a job, a friendship etc. We try to find a way to FIX something to make someone happier so they can move on when we need to find ways to help GUIDE someone through their loss as it will be with them everyday for the rest of their life. Why don’t we look for ways to cope and deal with loss that we can use for years to come versus quick fixes? Why if loss is such a big part of our lives and lead us to self-care that we put away the help in the back corner of a store with 15 books to choose from versus hundreds in the self care. Would we all be able to deal with life losses in a better way if we learned how much influence loss has on our lives? We grow from some of our losses so let’s build on that and teach that emotions behind grief are valid and that your allowed to feel those emotions when the waves hit you years from now. There is no quick fix but there are ways to help guide to live with grief. Do you think books about loss and grief should be in the self-care/self-help section and normalized too? Pretty sure it affects every single person on this earth!

Do things to make you feel close to someone you have lost. One thing I do is go for a walk along the beach and through the local beach town. My Mom use to walk every morning looking at the water front, cottages, and just having an outlet from her mind. Feeling the sun on her face, taking in the amazing crisp fresh air, and listening to her favourite music. Today, I went for a walk as it was a beautiful day. I needed a break from my computer and decided to download my lectur...e and book for school and listen to it while I went for a walk. Honestly such a perk with online learning! Anyways, after I was done listening to school work I decided to play my Moms playlist. I went and sat on a bench over looking the water listening to a few songs that meant a lot to my Mom. Between the silence at the beach because of the frozen water and Billie Holiday singing I’ll be seeing you I was filled with emotion. As a few tears fell I could sense my Mom sitting beside me on my right. She was taking in the view with me. It was an energy that really hit me. An energy filled with love. That energy can be overwhelming at times but at the same time it can bring you joy knowing your loved one is near. Some may think this is silly and not believe that energy and that is okay. But I encourage you to do something that connects you to someone you lost. It could be baking, walking, playing an instrument etc. You’ll be amazed how much love you will feel around. I say love because grief is just the continuation of love and who doesn’t want to always feel love. Do you do anything that makes you feel like your loved one is close by?

The little things are the biggest reminders. When a significant person in your life has died you connect the smallest things to that person. These events, objects, songs etc can be the biggest reminders. I like to look at these things as reminders of your loved one leaves behind to continue to teach you life lessons and reassure you they are still here. They are the nooks and crannies that love is presented in our lives. They can bring good and bad memories but the are still ...reminders of the amazing people you have had in your life. For me when I pick up the iron and do laundry memories flood back. This may seem little or silly but they are truly big reminders. When I was little my Mom taught me how to iron tea towels. I learned how to make sure my creases were done perfectly and that they were so smooth. I practiced those tea towels with pride! When she was diagnosed the lessons of ironing changed she wanted to teach me specifics for my future. She gave me a recap of how a shirt is ironed properly, making sure the creases line up correctly on pants, knowing what clothing of my Dads that hangs to dry and the specific soaps that need to be used depending on the clothing. And yes I had to do an example of one to prove I could do it properly. It was a lesson to help care for others. You see to some this may seem like just a daily routine but remember those daily routines may hit others much harder. These things she taught me were life lessons I needed to know. I needed to learn new areas of how to care for others. I think she also taught me them to keep that feeling of her over my shoulder telling me if I’m doing it right or wrong. And trust me I know when I’ve ironed wrong as I can just feel her with me and saying let’s try that again when I try to take the easy way out. But I am thankful for those pushes and life lessons as I continue in my life. Yes, the reason for her teaching me specifics was not a positive one at the end but those little things are lessons I will use in my life always. Thanks for the lessons Mom. I will iron with pride! What little thing reminds you of someone you have lost?

Long time no chat! I know I haven’t posted in awhile but it is just because I’ve been busy studying for school. I have lots of posts planned for the future! While I wasn’t posting I have been doing a lot of reflecting on what I want to bring to you all. Today I woke up to the most amazing view outside my window. A beautiful blanket of snow and frost on the trees. I got my good camera out and decided to take some morning photos around the farm. Photography has always been so...mething I loved to do. Especially landscape or nature. Winter photography I really love as I think it's amazing that in a moment you can feel the cold from the snow but yet the warmth of the sun all in one photo. The sharp edges of frost to the soft blanket of snow make me think about how winter is similar to people. We have some days filled with sharp moments but also soft edges. Just like grief, we have moments of sharp pain but then it can soften as the day goes on and even melt away at times. I know it can snow again after it melts but when that sun shines through I know there will be easier times to come after the pain. Enjoy the stories, reminders, reflections nature can teach you. You’ll be surprised by the signs it gives you. Go outside, take a deep breath of that fresh air and know that sharp frost will not last forever.

Just a gentle reminder with this holiday. Love you more, Meghan

Sometimes just sitting without words can mean the world to someone going through grief or other emotions. They will speak when they are ready. Mental health is so important. @umbrellamentalhealth

This is the speech I said on MyFM radio Exeter, Ontario today about my personal experience with loss and the importance of bereavement sessions at Jessica’s House in Exeter. Feel free to share if you know someone needs to hear this. Remember we all grieve and losing someone or something in our lives recently or years ago grief will always happen. So we need to learn how to cope and live with our loss. Jessica's House - Huron County South Huron Hospital Foundation

Today’s the day! Tune in to Exeter’s MyFM 90.5 between 8am-3pm to hear amazing stories about the South Huron Hospital and Jessica’s House! I will be telling my story about my experience with Jessica’s House at 12:30! The discussion of bereavement and grief is important as it affects everyone!!!!

I truly believe that it helps you see the world in a new way. A way that helps you acknowledge what is important in life and how you can help others. Grief changes you in an instant and makes you think about what you did or said to someone else struggling with their loss. Allowing others to know their emotions are valid through their loss is so important. From the loss of a loved one to the loss of a job. We all need to support each other with compassion.

Memories bring back you

Happy Wednesday everyone! Have you ever been thinking about someone you have lost over the years and then have something come into your point of view that connects the person to your thought? Today as I was driving home from work I decided to play my Carole King playlist as it reminds me of a memory with my Mom. I was just singing along (yes it’s like a musical theatre show when I’m singing in my car lol) and kind of having a sad moment to myself. All of a sudden it just... starts to down pour rain then in 10 seconds this huge and amazing rainbow appears and it turns into a sunny evening! My mind told me to pull over on the side of the road and take a photo! It was stunning and I happened to stop right in the middle of the rainbow! 6 months ago I would have looked at that rainbow and have been only filled with sadness but after having several months of bereavement sessions I look at that rainbow as a hug from my Mom. A sign to remind me she is still here. I am so happy I took this photo as it will now always remind me of my Mom. I am so thankful for these sessions @jessicashouse6909 Do you have signs or moments that fill your heart with joy of someone you lost? Comment below if you want to share! Love you more, Meghan @ Lucan, Ontario

Leave it to the Irish to add a little laughter to a funeral! https://youtu.be/ANcvkDADgmw

Hello Everyone! I hope you are all doing well! I know it’s been awhile since I posted. It has been a busy week with school and some prep for an event I am apart of this coming Friday. This coming Friday, October 9th at 12:30pm (EST) I am speaking at the annual Radiothon for Jessica's House - Huron County and the South Huron Hospital Foundation . I will be bringing to attention the amazing bereavement program that Jessica’s House has to offer. I will also be talking about how... my own personal experience with the program has helped me process the loss of my Mom. I hope you tune in and learn about how lucky we are to have this program in our small community and how we can get help to understand our own grieving process. Let’s normalize the discussion of grief and teach each other that your emotions are allowed and valid. So make sure you listen to 90.5 My FM this Friday and donate to @jessicashouse6909 and @shhfoundation_2 Love you more, Meghan @ London, Ontario

Art is powerful. Through out my life I have used the arts as an outlet to express myself. I have used photography, visual arts, dance and music to help me overcome some of my weakest and lowest points. Visual arts really become a huge outlet to me over the last 6 months. In January, I was still numb and having a hard time getting out of my head at times. Lack of sleep, foggy mind etc was all affecting me. So, I thought I would start to learn how to paint and draw. This was... a medium I have always been interested in and wanted to learn. It was also a chance for me to just not think but express with out words as some days I didn’t know how to or want to talk. Painting and drawing allow people to just decompress and get out of their minds. It could be creating a piece or even doing a colouring book. Art becomes a resource of therapy. As I continued to paint and draw I slowly had some relief of my mind. A hour here or there that let me just breath. I often look at some of my drawings and remember how I was feeling that day or how by drawing that picture made me feel better that day. Art is a very personal thing but I take away for it, that if I can help someone else feel an emotion of love, happiness or just a connection from some of my work then I need to share it. I can only hope that I can help others discover painting, drawing or any art to bring them a little comfort. So, I leave you with this. Next time you look at a piece of art your child’s or a professionals really look at it because there is always an emotion behind it. Embrace the emotion and see what art is all about. Have you ever used the arts to help you through a tough time? Comment below! for yes and for no. (Hint: there’s no wrong answer!) See more

Megan Devines book It’s okay your not okay is a book I will continue to be thankful for. It broke down the emotions I have in my grief and made me feel normal. Like this post from her page says the loss of someone changes you. And I am a true example of that. My mindset shifted as soon as I started grief counselling and I had to discover who I was, what made me me now with this added loss in my life. I still continue to figure who I am without my loved ones and will ...for years. But I look at each day as what would they do and see where my loved ones continue to guide me with the life lessons they taught me. has a loss changed you? for yes for no See more

I thought I would share this TED talk I recently watched. It brought attention to how the younger generations should talk about death. It is a beautiful presentation and also shows the importance of a hospice. https://youtu.be/R2HcxtBCK-o

Some pretty postcards I drew! I love the simplicity of one flower in black and white! Art is so therapeutic I can only hope I can bring it into my future work in bereavement and grief.