McArthur Home Care

We all had a code or conspiracy of silence around the subject of dying or death before it was said. It was easier to focus on the trees- the medications, what to eat, encouraging him take small walks, etc. -than on the big picture, the forest, which would have propelled us to prepare for his death and nudged us to get brave and have the more difficult (and intimate) conversations.

The stress of caring for an aging parent, watching their decline and eventual death, can, quite frankly, tear a family apart or bring them closer. To get to the latter often requires some emotional intelligence, a willingness to let go of previous hurts and resentments, and some guidance about practical steps to take.

PLEASE NOTE: THIS PICTURE IS A STOCK PHOTO TAKEN FROM THE INTERNET. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THE TWO LOVELY PEOPLE ARE IN IT. THE PICTURE WILL NOT BE REMOVED AS IT IS... A PART OF THE STORY LISTED BELOW. PLEASE DO NOT TAG THE PHOTO BUT YOU ARE FREE TO SHARE IT ON YOUR PAGE! TRUE LOVE ..(A Doctor's note) Must Read n share :) It was approximately 8.30 a.m. on a busy morning when an elderly gentleman in his eighties arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9.00 a.m. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat. I knew it would take more than an hour before someone would to able to attend to him. I saw him check his watch anxi...ously for the time and decided to evaluate his wound since I was not busy with another patient. On examination, the wound was well healed. Hence, I talked to one of the doctors to get the supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. We began to engage in a conversation while I was taking care of his wound. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment later as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no and said that he needed to go to the nursing home to have breakfast with his wife. I inquired about her health. He told me that she had been in the nursing home for a while as she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. I probed further and asked if she would be upset if he was slightly late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was and she had not been able to recognize him since five years ago. I asked him in surprise, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is." I had to hold back my tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arm, and I thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life." True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Long-term care needs to be completely rebuilt from the ground up, and governments have to realize that large facilities that ‘warehouse’ older adults are not w...hat they deserve, Bill VanGorder, C.A.R.P.’s chief policy officer told Zoomer during a discussion about the advocacy agency's 2021 platform. See more