Men Therapy Toronto
2300 Yonge Street, Suite 1600 M4P1E4 Toronto, ON, Canada

"Addicts confuse nurturing and sex. Support, care, affirmation, and love are all sexualized. Absolute terror of life without sex combines with feelings of unworthiness for such intense sexual desires. Sexual activity never meets the need for love and care, but continues to be seen as the only avenue to meeting those needs. Addicts have a high need to control all situations in an effort to guarantee sex. Yet there is a secret fear of bring sexually out of control. Addicts promise themselves to stop or limit sexual behavior because of this fear". Carnes PhD, Patrick. Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. #mensmentalhealth #sexaddiction #recovery #healing

"Addicts feel unloved and unloveable, which means other people cannot be depended on to love them, so their needs will not be met. The resulting rage becomes internalized as depression, resentment, self-pity, and even suicidal feelings. Because they have no confidence in others love, addicts become calculating, strategizing, manipulative, and ruthless. Rules and laws are made for people who are lovable. Those who are unlovable survive in other ways". Carnes PhD, Patrick. Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction . #mensmentalhealth #sexaddiction #shame #recovery #healing

"Addicts believe that everyone would abandon them if the truth were known. They have a constant fear of being dependent on others. Addicts perceive their sexual behavior as so bad that everything becomes their "fault." Addicts assume responsibility for all the pain in loved ones. Honest guilt and remorse cannot be expressed because that would require honesty about behavior. Addicts become progressively more isolated". Out of the Shadows, Understanding Sexual Addiction. P. 118. Patrick Carnes, PhD. #sexaddiction #mensmentalhealth #masculinity #recovery #shame #mentherapytoronto

Addicts conclude from their family experiences that they are not worthwhile persons. Feelings of inadequacy and failure predominate. Addicts often see humiliation and degradation as justified and deserved. The desperate struggle around sexual compulsivity absolutely confirms this belief and enhances feelings of low self-worth. Addicts are committed to hiding the secret reality of their addiction at all costs because of their unworthiness. Yet the addiction guides almost all behavior and decisions. Patrick Carnes, PhD. Out of the Shadows. Figure 4.2

"The addictive system starts with a belief system containing faulty assumptions, myths, and values that support impaired thinking. The resulting delusional thought processes insulate the addiction cycle from reality. The four-phase addiction cycle (preoccupation, ritualization, sexual compulsiveness, and despair) can repeat itself unhindered and take over the addicts life. All the other support systems, including relationships, work, finance, and health, become unmanageable. The negative consequences from the unmanageability confirm the faulty beliefs, which hold that the addict is a bad person who is unlovable. In turn, revalidated beliefs allow further distortion of reality". Carnes PhD, Patrick. Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction (pp. 39-40). Hazelden Publishing.

We are proud and thrilled to introduce Haley Blumenfeld MSW, RSW as our first couples therapist to the Men Therapy Toronto team. Haley supports couples experiencing diverse challenges, such as symptoms related to mental health concerns, low self-esteem, infidelity, and betrayal. We meet many men who are open to working with a couples therapist to support them to become better partners in their relationships. Haley Blumenfeld MSW, RSW is now accepting new clients. Learn more... about Hayley here. http://ow.ly/sJnn50BeEhG #couplestherapist #couplestherapy #mentherapytoronto

An interesting look into some of the research regarding mens mental health and what can be done to improve outcomes. From Rob Whitley, Ph.D., Hes an assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at McGill University and a research scientist at the Douglas Hospital Research Centre. #mensmentalhealth #connection #wellbeing #menshealth ... http://ow.ly/8AN850BaNn1

For a man isolation is one negative consequence of feeling emasculated. He does so because relationships are generally a source of pain. Furthermore, if a man has negative sexual experiences as a result of sexual dysfunction, then being in a romantic relationship becomes something that must be avoided. learn more http://ow.ly/oW1950B8Unh #mensmentalhealth #masculinity #isolation #connection #intimacy

Understanding how masculine & feminine energy works within you is an important aspect of developing balance in your life and to the nurturing of relationships. Tantraan Eastern philosophy that believes the universe is created by and made up of masculine (Shiva) and feminine (Shakti) energies that infuse all things. Vitti continues, Both energies exist within each of us in varying amounts. Learning how to engage both fully is what ends up making a person psychologically, emotionally, and physically well. Just as you wouldnt operate a remote control with only one battery, you need both of these energies as your power sources. Theyre necessary tools for shaping your life. - Alissa Vitti in http://ow.ly/XpVE50B4BFX #masculine #feminine #mensmentalhealth #wellbeing #balance

It does not matter how many books, videos or wisdom resources are consumed as all growth and change must takes place within relationship (& community). Individuals may enjoy listening to inspirational wisdom teachings but they are simply that; inspiration. To grow into the healthy masculine a man must be an active participant in community. #mensmentalhealth #masculinity #menshealth #community #connection #together Learn more - http://ow.ly/vB9b50B3YI9

Feeling inadequate as a man is a core component of wounded masculinity. I has been described medically as "gender shame", which is feeling ashamed of ones gender. Learn more http://ow.ly/GLty50AY4U8 #mensmentalhealth #masculinity #shame #healthymasculinity

When men discover the life transforming process of sharing openly & honestly with other men, a world of healthy assertiveness & self-empowerment opens up for them. Learn how were working to support men in this endeavour. http://ow.ly/VFV450AW2UE #mensmentalhealth #empower #mensgroup #courage

Sexual dysfunction paradoxically reinforces a negative core belief that "Im not good enough" and acts to protect the man from exposing that belief. It is better to not perform sexually then it is to perform and be found out to be lacking or inadequate as a man. http://ow.ly/UBXc50AOmu3 #mensmentalhealth #mentherapytoronto #sexualdysfunction #erectiledysfunction #intimacy #shame #healing

Were thrilled to be welcoming the newest member of the team! Read more about Michael on our team page https://mentherapytoronto.com/toronto-counselling-servic// #mentherapytoronto #mensmentalhealth #wellbeing #therapist

Many men struggle with the question of their life purpose. They may feel that what they are doing at the moment is not what they want to be doing or they know that they could be doing more. It often presents itself as a restlessness or even a stirring. They may see another man, maybe a friend or family member, who seems to be living their life purpose and become envious. At moments there may be faint attempts at making a change but then it falls flat. Life Purpose Perspec...tive The truth about finding a life purpose is the simple fact that it is impossible to be more than you already are at this exact moment. It does not matter where you are and what you are doing while you are reading these words as you already are essentially whole (even if you dont feel that way). This is very important to accept because many men use life purpose as a future oriented quick fix solution. The thinking translates generally as follows, once I find my life purpose I will feel great about myself, all my struggles will go away and people will love and admire me. The fantasy of what life would feel like once a man lives his life purpose at some point in the future is almost more powerful that the life purpose itself. Life purpose is not a goal to be reached but rather is simply the positive consequence of many small and courageous choices over a long period of time. Your life purpose will find you once you are ready for it. http://ow.ly/pkNm50AOmpO #mensmentalhealth #mentherapytoronto #lifepurpose #meaning #values #potential

"I think it is truly unfortunate that we have created a situation in which men are reluctant to seek help from psychotherapy because there is a lot for men to gain, some of which is very different from what they might believe". Avrum Weiss, Ph.D. Heres a great article that provides some background and perspective on the current state of the relationship between men and psychotherapy. http://ow.ly/EyZJ50AKiKk... #mensmentalhealth #psychology #intimacy #courage

We need to be brutally honest with at least one human being because we need help to recognize whats going on around us, and we cant see what we dont see, which is why we cant do it alone. @StartsWithMe_ http://ow.ly/ghhE50AFGQb #mensmentalhealth #askforhelp #shame

The healthy masculine energy does not use its power to destroy or exploit. The power is used for life giving purposes. It is important to express that power here is not being described in terms of physical, intellectual, financial might. Power is being used in the sense of wholeness. For example, a deeply sensitive and intuitive man who has negated the more physical and grounded aspects of his masculinity will not be truly powerful till he does. The man will be lacking ...wholeness if his entire being is shifted heavily in the direction of sensitivity, emotions and intuition. Conversely, the man who is dominant in the area of analytical and rational thought without access to his emotions and intuition will also be lacking in wholeness and power. To be a truly powerful man is to be whole. For the healthy masculine the experience of power will transform into a personal sense of peace and freedom. http://ow.ly/xJUo50AE6SX #masculinity #patriarchy #mensmentalhealth #wellbeing #menshealth #mentherapytoronto #strength #courage #truepower

Sometimes the stories we tell about ourselves and the meaning those stories have no longer serve us. When this happens, it is important to reframe these stories in a way that serves our present self and to imagine a new empowering story to bring into being the part of us thats been patiently awaiting its call to action. #mensmentalhealth #menshealth #wellbeing #stories #transformation

Its normal to think our behaviour is the problem rather than seeing it as the symptom or outcome of a deeper underlying issue. We must heal the internal pain that leads to our unwanted behaviour. #pornaddiction #mensmentalhealth #porn #acceptance #recovery #shame... http://ow.ly/4e9K50AxlT3

Have you been trying on your own to change or stop all the unwanted thoughts and behaviours that are causing you suffering? If these questions resonate with you, chances are, at the very least, you can benefit from trying a therapy session or seeking a support group. Learn more http://ow.ly/sfFp50ArYRs... #mensmentalhealth #menshealth #therapy #freetherapytoronto

Supporting mens mental health begins with how we treat young boys and how we help them transition into adulthood. This article by Damion Nurse of Cinnabean Cakes (www.cinnabeancakes.com) is a sincere and thoughtful description of ways to support the #mentalhealth of black youth. Theres a variety of suggestions on how we can improve outcomes for young boys in minority groups to help create a healthier, more just, and compassionate world. ... #mensmentalhealth #boysmentalhealth #compassion http://ow.ly/SIrE50Ao2LK

Since the experience of shame is so multi determined, it is usually "not our fault, but it is our responsibility". Learn about healing from shame through Mindful Self-Compassion & Compassion Focused Therapy. http://ow.ly/SJrJ50All1O & http://ow.ly/i6F950All1N #mensmentalhealth #compassion #shame

One of the great joys of our work is facilitating a mixed mens group with men of all different sexual orientations. At the start of the group, they are often threatened by each other and hold stereotypes of each other. Yet, by the end of the group, these seemingly different men see how the same they are. At the core, they are just men trying to live better lives and having the courage to seek help. Its a beautiful thing to watch men bond and celebrate each other. Happy Pride Month. #pridemonth #pride2020 #love #mensmentalhealth

Many men struggle with feelings of loneliness and isolation. Often men are afraid of each other and their personal sense of vulnerability. Rather than support each other men tend to suffer in silence. Learn more - http://ow.ly/VEmf50AdUKw #mensmentalhealth #addiction #sexaddiction #loneliness

Out of the Shadows, Understanding Sexual Addiction, by Dr. Patrick Carnes, is a window into the variety of ways that trauma, adverse childhood experience, & other factors harm people & how that leads to compulsive & destructive sexual behaviour. Theres a ton of wisdom in this book. Heres a quote that is particularly poignant today. "All suffering contains gifts. And sex addiction is no different. It has expanded dramatically our knowledge of addictions in general. As a res...ult of our increasing awareness of sex addiction, we know more about the addictive family system, the neurochemistry of addictions, the role of child abuse in addictions, and the impact of shame on addictive behavior. As eating disorders have helped us understand healthy eating, so sex addiction has provided us with new perspectives on healthy sex. The womens movement, the mens movement, pornography, AIDS, sex offenders, sexual harassmentmany of our most divisive or controversial issues are sexual ones, and they take on new shades of meaning within the context of sex addiction." Carnes PhD, Patrick. Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction . Hazelden Publishing. See more about Dr. Carnes https://www.drpatrickcarnes.com/ #mensmentalhealth #sexaddiction #menshealth

Thanks to Matt Barnes @SocialWorkMe for having me on his Social Work Me Podcast. In this podcast, youll hear more about my transition from corporate life to becoming a therapist. I share too about the shame I still work through. Also, we touch about how it may be different working with men in therapy. I share my paradigm on #masculinity, #sexaddiction, #shame. We conclude with the importance of promoting this profession towards men. We need more male therapists, and it benef...its all. Here are some key points I share. Listen to the podcast here https://podcasts.apple.com//mens-therapy-sex/id1490264622 #mensmentalhealth #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #addiction #mentherapytoronto #mentherapy

How do you interpret your emotions? One helpful way is to see them as a data source. This helps us detach from them, and supports our ability to make decisions that are wise and that move us toward our ideals. Heres a great article on what were learning about emotions and well-being. http://ow.ly/hQ1m50A5hw7 #menshealth #mensmentalhealth #emotoinalintelligence

Learning to navigate the paradox of life is one skillset that helps us build resilience and find balance in turbulent times. Heres an insightful article on the subject. "Its no surprise that the stress and anxiety of the COVID-19 pandemic are having a significant effect on peoples mental, as well as physical health. According to a national poll released this Spring by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), more than one-third of Americans (36%) reported that coronavi...rus is having a serious impact on their mental health and over half (59%) indicated its having a serious impact on their day-to-day lives. 19% reported having trouble sleeping, and nearly one in four people (24%), said they have had trouble concentrating on other things because of concerns about coronavirus." (Dan Mager MSW) Click the link to read more. http://ow.ly/W6uA50A2Shr #mentherapytoronto #mensmentalhealth #mentalhealth #addiction #resilience

We cant go around, under or above. We must go through the pain and discomfort. The beautiful thing is that on the other side is the freedom and contentment weve been searching for. #menshealth #mensmentalhealth #masculinity #mentherapytoronto

In this podcast, we discussed a bit about my past and why some men have a hard time asking for help. We also explored some thoughts about the need for the emergence of a modern masculinity that is rooted in love. From the State Of Mind Podcast hosted by Mike Stroh from Starts With Me whos doing his practicum with us at Men Therapy Toronto. #menshealth #mensmentalhealth #love #courage #masculinity... https://startswithme.ca//mens-mental-health-and-accessibl/

Powerful presentation given by @zacseidler; "Globally, on average, 1 man dies by suicide every minute of every day." He speaks of the issue, the role of masculinity and how we can help. You can watch the entire presentation online. #mensmentalhealth #menshealth http://ow.ly/rKLr50zKgGJ

Masculinity, like everything, is in the process of evolution. We are exiting a more limited expression of masculinity which was formed under patriarchy. Now the opportunities are boundless yet many men are caught trying to be an aplha male or the nice guy. Both of which have fear at their root. There is a third way; rooted in love (not the sentimental one). Being a healthy man takes courage and is formed by choice. It is difficult work but a wonderful legacy to leave your loved ones. None of us can do it alone. Hope you enjoy the article and perspective on what it means to be a healthy man. #mensmentalhealth #menshealth #masculinity #goodmen #masculinity #positivemasculinity http://ow.ly/agZS50zJjNW

We are currently looking for a therapist to join our team. We are looking for individuals comfortable and passionate about working with men. Your primary focus will be providing the best possible clinical care. If interested, email us at [email protected]

A great discussion on some reasons boys are struggling in school and how we can create an environment that lifts all boats. #mensmentalhealth #menshealth http://ow.ly/eKBF50zFNtZ

Our popular 8-Week Healthy Sexuality and Healthy Masculinity Mens group starts on June 2, 2020. Its powerful experience and great tool reduce shame and live more freely. #mensgroup #mensmentalhealth #pornaddiction #sexualhealth http://ow.ly/M6lb50zoV68

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change". Carl Rogers. If we hide from whats bothering us it only makes it worse. The beautiful thing is, when we become willing to face those fears we become increasingly stronger and the we can move forward. For #MentalHealthWeek 2020, Men Therapy Toronto is inviting guys to a virtual drop-in session at no cost. Book here ... http://ow.ly/9Jls50zvv4O #mentalhealth #GetReal