Messy Beauty with Shaley

Max is TWO! Happy birthday little buddy. Your fuzzy little face makes everything better. Always. Except when you bark at the mail carrier and random birds. We need to work on that. Here’s to many more couch snuggles and PAWfectly baked milk & cookies. Milk & Cookie Treats @threedogpmoody Max gives them 5 paws. Highly recommend!!!!... #maxis2 #maxhoogs #birthdayboy #puppiesofinstagram #dogsofinstagram #cavapoo

J a n u a r y R e v i e w How was your mental health this month? ... January can be hard. Before being diagnosed with Bipolar 2, I would fall into a deep depression every January. It was like clockwork. I would get diagnosed with depression and end up on meds that never worked. It was because I have a mood disorder- I was not only depressed. I also experienced hypomania, I just didn’t know it then. Hypomania isn’t as extreme as mania so it is sometimes hard to recognize. I thought it was just my regular high energy self so I never went for help. One of the most helpful tools in getting the right diagnoses was to make a mental health timeline. It was such a powerful practice to see my patterns on paper. Its now a regular practice for me now. Writing down my monthly moods helps me recognize when I’m not okay. I can make sure I’m doing all I can to stay healthy. I can’t control my brain chemistry but being aware of my symptoms and cycles makes it easier to ask for the things I need. Sometimes my check ins are detailed and sometimes I only have enough focus to write down (or voice record) a few thoughts. It makes a difference for me. Do you track your moods? I’d love to hear. -Shaley Repost this is bipolar

. How can you meet yourself where you are, right now? . This is compassion, this is kindness. ... We say it in therapy all the time: meet the client where they are. We can’t push them into what they are not ready for because more often than not, it backfires. Similarly, this is a concept that I think we can all apply to ourselves. Where are we right now, in this moment ? What flows with ease? What can we give? On that same note, we can trust that when we’re ready, when the discomfort reaches the this is it level, we will take the necessary steps and be on our way. Repost @holisticallygrace

LET’S TALK!! Join mental health advocates Shaley Hoogendoorn and Julie Kraft as they share how to keep important conversations going after Mental Health Awareness Days. Statistics tell us that 1 in 5 people struggle with a mental health disorder. This means someone that you know or love is suffering (often in silence) right now. How can you support those suffering around you? What does it look like to keep showing up when things get hard? Shaley and Julie share tips and tools... to use when engaging in heavy, awkward, or uncomfortable conversations. They tell stories about the importance of language and how we can use them to hurt or help. It is Julie and Shaley's hope that this episode encourages us all to do our part in ending the stigma around mental health and mental illness. They believe that together we can keep the conversation going. This is bipolar... See more

What’s helping you want to get out of bed these days? Here’s mine: 1. Pumpkin scones 2. Lattes... 3. Flowers 4. The thought of going thrifting 5. Christmas shopping at Homesense 6. School Drop off (not a choice) I’m grateful I have school drop off and part time work otherwise I might just stay in my bed until this nightmare that is Covid is over! We have more bans and restrictions here in British Columbia so there are no gatherings in or outside. You can only hang the peeps you live with. It’s hard to get excited about anything. I look forward to the weekend and then realize that the days are much of the same. I was telling my besties this morning that I’m tired of looking for the joy in little things, I want the big things or the medium things right now. I know we are always supposed to be thankful for each day but truth bomb- I don’t feel very thankful I am sad, bored, restless and struggling with hope. I feel like doom and gloom thoughts are taking up so much of my brain space no matter how hard I try to fill it up with beauty and goodness. I am noticing that when I do tell people what I’m really feeling, my overthinking brain tells me that I’m bringing them down. I catch myself feeling too much or too negative and wanting to apologize for sharing. I still fight these ideas despite having beautiful friends that love all of me as is. I know showing up authenticly and I love it when others do too. I need honesty. I’m trying to embrace these ebbs and flows of grief and loss. I am trying hard not apologize for feeling them. I know I’m not clinically depressed just responding to a terrible and long worldwide pandemic. There is always the fear my depression will come back. I remember the despair. Spending more time in my cozy bed reading doesn’t mean I will go back to a dark place. It feels safe and cozy under the covers right now. I don’t have anywhere else to go. I am not lazy, I’m taking care of myself. I know it won’t be like this forever. Being authentic is not easy, it reminds me of what I already know. I can find wholeness here in the hard. xo

I can love all my perfect imperfections, ALL the Messy Beauty. You can too. xo . . Image @formimie

. S u n d a y R e a d i n g . I found the article on language really powerful. Words matter. Please stop using medical mental health terms unless you are referring to the medical diagnosis (I’m so OCD- for being organized. I’m so Bipolar for being moody). Our words hurt and add to stigma. Think twice about the power of your words. .... Our words Frame and reflect our understanding (and misunderstanding) about illness... scary words elicit scary feelings; Ugly words, ugly feelings. Words fuel stigma, but they can also protect, and ways we are just beginning to appreciate. Vocabulary matters. -Finding The Right Words by David Bjerklie See more

S a t u r d a y V i b e s What are you up to? Saturdays aren’t very exciting these days. Covid is really getting to me. I am an extrovert!!!!!!! I want ALL the plans. At this point one plan would suffice. ... We are in a few weeks back to no visiting/visitors and even outdoor gatherings. It’s dark and rainy here in Port Coquitlam. We went for a very wet hike. My plans for the rest of the weekend is blankets and books. Max gets it. Stay Messy and Beautiful (and cozy), Shaley xo

. B e K i n d . This year, maybe more than ever, kindness counts. Today on World Kindness Day, who can you show kindness too? How can you show kindness when it's hard? ... Friends - our words are powerful, let's use them to spread love not hate. Repost @shelovesmag @sosheslays #SheLoves #DangerousWomen #WorldKindnessDay

This one is a hard one for me. I wish it didn’t have to get as bad as it did before I got help. I sometimes feel like it is a tv show I’m talking about and not my real life. I’m feeling super vulnerable putting this out here today. I’m also reminding myself of the power of sharing my stories. Shame lives in secrets and the dark. I will not let this be a shame story. As always, I would love to hear from you if you watch or listen. Stay Messy and Beautiful, Shaley xo . .... NEW EPISODE!! In this episode, mental health advocates Messy Beauty with Shaley and Julie Kraft discuss their vastly different experiences of seeking professional help and receiving their bipolar II diagnoses. They describe when, where, and how they first heard the life-changing news, " You have bipolar disorder." It is Julie and Shaley's greatest hope that in sharing they will offer insight and encouragement to anyone going through the process of being diagnosed. This is bipolar..... . Instagram - @this.is.bipolar #thisisbipolar #thisisbipolarvlog #thisisbipolarpodcast See more