Michael Edwards, Registered Psychologist
# 201, 8704-51 ave. T6E 5E8 Edmonton, AB, Canada

Remember children have meltdowns for any number of reasons. If you are looking for some help understanding FASD and aggression check out the podcast with Dr. Mela: https://www.fasdsuccess.com/blog/Fasdandagression

The PACT therapeutic stance is centered on the expectation that partners treat each other according to secure-functioning principles of fairness, justice, and s...ensitivity for one another. We want to express this both explicitly and implicitly through our conduct, expectations, and repeated narrative in sessions.

Remember children have meltdowns for any number of reasons. If you are looking for some help understanding FASD and aggression check out the podcast with Dr. Mela: https://www.fasdsuccess.com/blog/Fasdandagression

The PACT therapeutic stance is centered on the expectation that partners treat each other according to secure-functioning principles of fairness, justice, and s...ensitivity for one another. We want to express this both explicitly and implicitly through our conduct, expectations, and repeated narrative in sessions.

T’was The Night T’was the night before Christmas And all through my mind My mental illness was stirring... Choosing not to be kind. The visions were dancing around in my brain The emotions running rampant inflicting great pain. My family were all nestled snug in their beds While thoughts of sadness and dying danced through my head Me in my chair, a cat in my my lap I tried to calm down for a short little nap. When up on the roof there rose such a clatter I jumped from my chair to see what was the matter Away to the window I stumbled and ran Threw open the curtain to see what I can The moon was shining brightly, lighting up the ground below And all I could make out was an angel, beckoning below. I gazed in wonder at the beautiful sight And asked myself what did it mean seeing her here tonight? Was she there to take me home away from the pain Or there to give me strength to keep fighting again? With beautiful wings and a glow that filled the night I drew in her power and knew that I could still continue the fight. With a voice so sweet as she sang to me loud You’ve got work to be done and people to make proud. And as fast as she came she left me that night Leaving me with hopes for a better future in sight. Merry Christmas to all and all a good night. - wendy brown

When partners are put under stress, the sympathetic nervous system increases in activation and moves them into a state of hyperarousal. Their adrenaline starts ...pumping, heart rate increases, and they enter that familiar state of fight or flight. If extreme threat is detected by a partner, the most ancient branch of the parasympathetic nervous system (the dorsal vagus nerve) can move a person into a state of hypoarousal. They will fall into states of collapse and immobility, resulting in a numbing of senses and the elimination of pain, due to internal anesthesia being released. We want partners to operate in the middle range of arousal: the window of tolerance (as coined by Dan Siegel). This middle range is optimal for activation. When partners are in the window of tolerance, they have full access to their higher brain function and can socially engage. To keep partners in the window of tolerance encourage partners to: keep fights short, aim for win-win resolutions, and rapidly relieve each other when they notice theyve caused pain.

Think of your relationship as a survival unit. No matter what life throws at you both, you can protect and heal each other.

A Harvard study started tracking men in 1938 in hopes of finding what contributes to a healthy and happy life. The study began to include the mens children and... then women in this longitudinal study. What surprising factor did they find contributes to a long, healthy, and happy life? Secure relationships. The study found that the level of satisfaction with relationships in midlife proved more important than genetics for longevity. This is no excuse not to exercise, but its a good reminder that our relationships (romantic and otherwise) should be a top priority.

Twas The Night Twas the night before Christmas And all through my mind My mental illness was stirring... Choosing not to be kind. The visions were dancing around in my brain The emotions running rampant inflicting great pain. My family were all nestled snug in their beds While thoughts of sadness and dying danced through my head Me in my chair, a cat in my my lap I tried to calm down for a short little nap. When up on the roof there rose such a clatter I jumped from my chair to see what was the matter Away to the window I stumbled and ran Threw open the curtain to see what I can The moon was shining brightly, lighting up the ground below And all I could make out was an angel, beckoning below. I gazed in wonder at the beautiful sight And asked myself what did it mean seeing her here tonight? Was she there to take me home away from the pain Or there to give me strength to keep fighting again? With beautiful wings and a glow that filled the night I drew in her power and knew that I could still continue the fight. With a voice so sweet as she sang to me loud Youve got work to be done and people to make proud. And as fast as she came she left me that night Leaving me with hopes for a better future in sight. Merry Christmas to all and all a good night. - wendy brown

Happy Friday! Just a reminder that your feelings and emotions do not control you nor define you!

Thank you Mike Reilly for sharing your story. https://www.cfl.ca/2019/07/03/mike-reilly-battle-off-field/

The lies many porn consumers struggling to quit believe about themselves can only weigh them down on the journey to freedom. Thankfully, a little scientific understanding goes a long way in recovery.

Their is truth about addiction in this clip.

As therapists, it helps to take a stance on where therapy should go. This stance must be clear, coherent, and consistent. When we are clear with our couples abo...ut what is expected of them in treatment, we avoid any confusion that might get in the way of successful treatment. The PACT therapeutic stance is focused on an expectation of secure-functioning behavior in couple relationships. Secure functioning is the goal. This does not mean we expect partners to be secure. Secure-functioning is not dependent upon personality, internal working models, or disparities among people. Rather, it is based on behaviors, principles, and values that are grounded in sensitivity, fairness, justice, and true mutuality. We expect partners to treat each other in accordance to secure-functioning principles, and when they are not, wonder with them about why.

Learning to solve problems, take risks and overcome frustration are crucial life skills, many child development experts say, and if parents dont let their children encounter failure, the children dont acquire them.

Excellent article!

BEING-WITH, BEING-WITH, BEING-WITH . . .

We live within coherence. Love (and healthy attachment) always make sense. In this we can place our hope for a better world . . . daily.

Here are some thoughts as we enter a potentially stressful time of year.

Mark Greene reviews the research connecting boys friendships and adult male life expectancy.

It can be hard to tell whats going on behind a childs misbehavior at any given moment. Graphic by GoZen: Anxiety Relief for Children

Hidden in plain sight. Hidden in plain sight. So very present in the next moment with your child.

Watching someone having a panic or anxiety attack can be very scary. (via WebMD)

Circle of Security offers a new perspective for teachers. For students who keep being difficult and who we cant figure out, remember this: Just below the surfa...ce this student is "Frightened, Wise, and Waiting." Frightened in ways you will likely never understand and wise enough to wait until a safe, caring, committed adult can be found to alter the course of their life. One person who is bigger, stronger, wiser, and kind can make all the difference. See more

Circle of Security was designed with an awareness that self-rejection (perpetual anxiety/shame about our parenting) is often at the core of our "Being-With stru...ggles." We tend to reject feelings in ourselves and our children that werent accepted (and comforted) when we were children. Once we begin to honor those exact feelings in our current life, our capacity for Being-With (ourselves and those close to us) increases. See more

Several LMFTs on masculinity and expressing emotion: