Morgen coaching

What are some of your thoughts when you want to try something you have never done before or something unfamiliar? I bet they resemble something like I do not know how. Who am I to try this, there are people who are way better at this.... I will suck. People will laugh at me. If it does not work out, I am a failure. Now imagine you would think thoughts like This is so exciting. I am going to learn a lot today. If it does not work out, then at least I know what not to do. I am proud of myself for trying. Now the immediate results may not always be great no matter your thoughts, but I can assure you that you will notice a difference in the way you show up for yourself. You are less likely to take things personally and you are more likely to persevere when you hit a bump So the next time you are trying something new or you feel nervous about something, choose consciously which thoughts you want to think. *And if this does not yet come naturally to you, reach out to me and we will work together to get you there.

We all know that we should not compare ourselves to others, or live our lives trying to meet expectations we think others have of us. While we do know this, it is a lot easier said than done If you are like me, you do (against better knowledge) have moments that you worry about what other people think of you or about not wanting to let other people down. And I want you to know that this is our brain’s doing. We are hardwired to seek acceptance and avoid rejection, this is o...ur brain keeping us save So we try our best to fit in, to be liked, we people-please and therefore bypass our own values and the things we actually like or want. This is why it is really easy to lose connection with ourselves and OUR wants and needs. One thing that I have learned along the way whenever making any decisions, is taking a step back, breathe, checking in with my body and collecting my thoughts. One of the questions I always ask is: ‘Will this decision bring me closer to where I want to go?’ With this I am able to assess if I am really doing this for myself or for someone else. And whenever I do this, I am noticing a decrease in worrying about what others might think and an increase in clarity of what it is that I want and who I want to be Remember, in the end, you live your life for yourself, not for others. If this is something you are struggling with, let's have a conversation on how to tackle this together!

Always seeing the positive, being grateful, and having some sort of gratitude practice Feeling unmotivated and down? You have to look at all the things you can do and set up a routine. Feeling bad? Snap out of it, others have it worse than you. Feeling sad? Well, you have so much to be grateful for.... While this advice can be helpful and true (for example, having a good morning routine might help you get started even on days you do not feel like it) there is also another hidden message in this. The message that some of our feelings are invalid. That it is useless to have those emotions and feel them, instead of propelling into action and becoming ‘stronger’. So instead, we tend to push those feelings down or beat ourselves up for feeling like this. We hop on the ‘fake it til you make it’ train. But I want you to know that ALL of your feelings are valid. And that this is just part of living. Some moments or even some days are better than others. And sometimes you just need to sit with it, look deeper within you and embrace yourself in the warmest hug. Holding space for yourself to feel, while knowing that this feeling will pass. Look within yourself for what you need in that moment or on that day. Be compassionate with yourself and the feelings that come up

Obviously I am not alone in my musings around and the acknowledgement of the importance of joy. Yesterday I listened to the Unlocking Us podcast episode where Brene Brown speaks with joy advocate Gabby Rivera While listening to Gabby speak about the importance of joy and in what ways joy shows up in her life, I was struck by how she describes joy. She uses words like ‘giggly giddiness’, ‘love’, ‘thriving’ and phrases like ‘joy is the thing that heals me’ and ‘the simple sm...all joys combined with the intentional healing and the joy in that healing has kept me alive and together and has allowed me to be so full’. I listened multiple times to this part of the episode, and I noticed my thoughts going back to my days as a teenager. Those moments with my friends, just acting silly, all giggles and laughing so hard tears were rolling down our cheeks. I realized those were all little moments of pure joy. It got me wondering when was the last time I had a moment of joy like that and then I remembered this moment last week. Gordon and I were on our way back home from Vancouver Island and we stopped at this lake along the way. I asked him to take a photo of me, and while he was ‘clicking away’ I made some silly faces without him even noticing. Until he looked at the previews of the photos and the look on his face, his response and my own silliness made me laugh so hard. I think he captured this moment of pure joy perfectly. What do you think? Oh, and I also learned that Gabby launched her own podcast, Joy Revolution, earlier this year. So I know what I will be listening to next

A couple of years ago I saw Ingrid Fetell Lee’s Ted Talk, ‘Where joy hides and how to find it’ and I often think back to it, it made me think more in-depth about the concepts of happiness, positivity, and joy. She also mentions that words like happiness, positivity, and joy are sometimes being used interchangeably, but there is a difference. Happiness measures how good we feel over time, while joy is an intense emotion that washes over you in a specific moment. And it is bro...ught on by experiences and things in the physical world. I started to pay attention to the things around me, that gave me this bubbly feeling and sparkly eyes, that made me let out a content sigh. I noticed that it made a difference when I paid attention to the things around me with the concept of joy in the back of my mind. Suddenly a LOT of things brought me joy. The first sip of coffee in the morning. Sunrays through the windows. Sitting at the beach and looking at the ocean, while hearing the sound of the waves. Putting on my new cool boots for the first time. Seeing a pretty building. A bundle of fresh eucalyptus. The smell of freshly baked bread. I can go on and on, but the one thing I know is this is something that you can teach yourself. To do things that bring you joy. And to look at the things around you from a joyful perspective. Watch the video below to see what brought me joy today. I would love to hear about something that brought you joy today And if you need a little nudge with this, reach out to me for a free chemistry session.