Mountain View Psychological
10418 99th Ave # 103 T8V 0S3 Grande Prairie, AB, Canada

I couldn’t be more proud to be the co-owner, leading clinical supervisor and director of this new practice in Grande Prairie!!

Many people who fawn feel the need to earn love through people-pleasing. This doesn’t come from nowhere. We were the kids who had to perform, succeed, and pro...ve ourselves to our caregivers to receive the warmth and care we needed. But then we became the adults who attach our worth to what we DO rather than being inherent to us. We became the adults who are constantly overcommitting because being needed makes us feel valuable in ways we don’t ordinarily feel. We became the adults who struggle to be our true selves because we fear that it’s not enough to offer on its own. I speak from a heart place here. So much of how I’ve constructed my self-worth has relied on what I give to other people. So much of what makes me feel worthy is measured by what I can do for someone else. It is a painful way to live once you realize you weren’t doing much for yourself all this time. So let’s check in. What are you doing for YOU today? Just you and no one else. (PS: If this resonates, you can learn more about fawning at the story highlight on my page. ) See more

Truly, it all comes down to connection. We can heal our attachment wounds if we have consistent, safe, secure and loving relationships.

Trauma survivor, your survival response is not a moral failing. Trauma is not your fault. [period] There is SO MUCH victim blaming out there. It's infuriating!... May I address the folks peddling shame in the name of personal responsibility? May I speak frankly to those pushing toxic positivity for their own comfort despite how much it harms others? May I call complete and utter bullshit on the self-proclaimed "trauma-informed life coach" who told a survivor "there is always a choice in how you respond." May I correct the notion that personal responsibility is required in order to resolve trauma? Our autonomic nervous system plays a significant role in our survival physiology. Autonomic = involuntary or unconscious = we don't choose many of our survival responses they are instinctive and outside our direct control. Within some physiological states, there is little or no ability for us to respond, we are quite literally not "response-able." "You can't control what happens to you, (mostly true) but you can control how you respond (often false)." Telling someone who is in freeze/collapse physiology that they are responsible for their own healing can make a dark and lonely place even more isolating and reinforce the experience of powerlessness. Before offering survivors some "positivity" be it spiritual, religious, or otherwise, ask yourself, "why do I need them to feel better? Why do I need them to get over it? Am I uncomfortable being present with inexplicable suffering? Could this be more about my need to feel comfortable than what they need to heal?" "If survivors don't take personal responsibility, how will they resolve their trauma?" For starters, recognize there are other options. Create contexts where healing is possible. Seek justice and hold perpetrators accountable for their behavior. Recognize our collective responsibility to support the healing process. Stop victim blaming. And many more... This isn't as hopeless as it seems. We can influence, shape, and create contexts that reduce the need for some of our survival responses and mitigate their ongoing impacts. However, this is not achieved by shame, blame, or pulling harder on our bootstraps. It's not a personal moral failing to live in a body with an autonomic nervous system that prioritizes our survival. -Brian #Trauma #ReligiousTrauma #RoomToThrive

Parents, Be the change you want to see in the world ~Gandhi