Navigate Counselling Services
6-115 Trafalgar Rd. L6J 3N2 Oakville, ON, Canada

My littlest helpless parts needed this love note today. Every feeling and sensation has a cause. Every reaction and response has a reason. Every pain has a purpose. Your incredible and intricately designed system is working hard to protect you even when it’s not functioning the way you think it should; even when you don’t understand. You are not broken and you are not lost in the journey of healing. You make sense.

There is no shame in our human complexities. We can feel both pleasure and discomfort at the exact same time. We can say one thing and desire something entirely different. We can want to live while wanting all the pain to go away. We can act in ways that oppose our truest nature. We can experience all kinds of trauma and still know joy. We can have both anxiety and depression. We can love a person and not want to be around them. We can love and experience great loss and still love again. We can feel messy and still be whole. We are beautiful + complex.

Hindsight is 2020 As the sun sets on 2020, what clarity have you gained? I hope that you give yourself a moment to remember what you felt (and maybe still feel) and all that you overcame. May you forgive yourself and others, celebrate the victories (big and small), and accept the things that can’t be changed. And may you bring with you all the wisdom that was gained. As you continue forward, what truths do you want your 2021 self to hear? What messages do you want to hold close as you navigate the twists and turns to come? Swipe for a list to help get you started.

You are worth keeping safe. Holding boundaries means loving BOTH you and them. This holiday season, here is a gentle reminder to give yourself the safety you didn’t have when you needed it most while paying compassionate attention to the feelings that arise from having to do so.

Give your pain a safe place to land When we deny our pain the chance to speak, we deny our systems the chance to heal. If we want a child to tell the truth we need to assure them that they won’t be judged when they do, otherwise shame will keep their truth locked away. Pain isn’t very different. When we lay down pillows for pain to rest it’s head on, the protective barricades that surround pain can begin to dismantle. These pillows are self-compassion.... Self-compassion helps to prevent emotional flooding while still allowing feelings to be felt and attended to. Gratefully, Kristen Neff has outlined three components that help to guide us through the process of self-compassion. It’s important to know that for many self-compassion doesn’t come easy. Without adequate modelling of warmth and compassion from a close loved one, it is difficult to know how to offer it to ourselves. This is where a relationship with a therapist can help.

Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Just stand your sacred ground -Brené Brown- You are not a problem that needs fixing or a voice that needs quieting. You are a person who is worthy of being seen with a story that is worthy of being heard.... Show up and speak up because you are meant to take up space.

Our emotions often come from our interpretations of events rather than the events themselves. Our thoughts and interpretations might include jumping to conclusions, mind reading, assuming we know what the future holds and filtering out the positive aspects of an event. When we put our own spin on the circumstances of an event, our thinking may be far from what the truth is. Our interpretations can naturally lead us toward experiencing big and uncomfortable emotions. The good news is that these emotions can change when we apply the DBT skill of fact checking. When we get curious about the things that are 100% true and those that aren’t, we can have a more accurate understanding of the situation. Usually this results in less intense emotional experiences.

Take a moment. Take a breathe. Let yourself sit with the triumphs and the tension from the week you’ve had. Start with these prompts and see where it takes you to @heyamberrae for this helpful end-of-week check-in!

in your mess, in your unfinishedness, you are so valuable @aundikolber Many of us work on healing or personal growth so that we can be valuable because we believe that there is something inside that needs to be fixed. It’s the belief that if we fix ourselves then we will be enough...then we will be able to pursue our calling...then we will be able to accomplish our goals...then we will be able to have a meaningful life. I’m here to tell you that there’s no amount of h...ealing that will install your value because it’s already there. When we heal because we think we are broken and require a repair to be worthy, we will always be disappointed because our worth is not based in how healed we are. Wherever you are in the healing process, you are valuable now

Hold it with compassion When we pay attention to not only the pleasures in life but also our pain, we get to experience life in it’s fullness. Living fully means feeling all the feelings, not just the ones that are comfortable. To invite pain in without being overwhelmed by it, we can pay compassionate attention. Meaning, we can be understanding, warm and caring to the parts of us that hurt and treat them like we would a friend who is suffering.