New Day Healing Arts
1706 Fernwood Rd. V8T 2Y4 Victoria, BC, Canada

The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response. Your I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself conditioning is a survival tactic. An...d you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you. From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you. From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart. From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave. From all the situations when someone told you we’re in this together or I got you then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when shit got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too. From all the lies and all the betrayals. You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point. Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE. You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right? You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you. Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak. So, you don’t trust anyone. And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people. To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable. Never again, you vow. But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall. Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either. Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming. It’s a trauma response. The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed. You are worthy of having support. You are worthy of having true partnership. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of having your heart held. You are worthy to be adored. You are worthy to be cherished. You are worthy to have someone say, You rest. I got this. And actually deliver on that promise. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy. You don’t have to earn it. You don’t have to prove it. You don’t have to bargain for it. You don’t have to beg for it. You are worthy. WORTHY. Simply because you exist. -Jamila White, @inspiredjamila Coyote Phoenix

As we move into fall and the darkness grows, what better time is there to explore our own inner darkness. Sound fun? It can be. Having spent a lot of time mys...elf journeying into these dark places, I now feel the time has come to be a guide and a wayfinder to help others explore their exiled parts in a safe, loving and non-judgemental environment, using collage to create images of what lives in these realms and is ready to be welcomed back with loving arms into the belonging of our wholeness. Although it is a challenging time to gather in person due to covid, I will be taking precautions to provide a safe, yet comfortable environment in which to do this work. The space we will be working in is large enough that we can be well spaced out, and numbers will be kept low. Masks will be optional. All materials needed will be provided, including a folder to take home any extra images you may have gathered, which you can use for subsequent journeys with me or on your own. It is recommended that you bring a journal if you have one, but paper will be available for journaling if desired. Please pre-register at [email protected]. Thanks to Mischa Arbess-Goudge for help with creating the poster. Poster art by Jezebel Jones. Due to the font choice, there seems to be some confusion, so just to be clear, this is on Sunday, October 25th, from 1-4. And the cost is $50.