North Wind Wellness Centre

It often seems that parents are always wrong, doing too much or too little, but never just enough. While it is true that they are often in error, they are usually doing the best they can, given their own upbringing and challenges. Every child receives both gifts and wounds from their parents. As we grow and evolve, our job is to learn to appreciate the gifts, even as we do what we can to heal the emotional injuries. As we know, in recovery, we cannot change the past, but we c...an alter our relationship to it. We do this by being willing to explore the darkness of some of the complicated things we experienced and by slowly connecting the dots to see how those early episodes still influence us. Everyone harbours a shadow, where they tuck away things they would prefer not to see. It takes both courage and support to look at parts of ourselves that were rejected by our parents, society, and even us. Our shadow is a natural part of the self, a reservoir of human darkness, and the wellspring of creative expression. We must first acknowledge and access it before we can accept itthus bringing us closer to wholeness. Shining the light of awareness upon the shadow of my family's wounds helps diminish the pain.

Enjoying the Good Days Good feelings can become a regular part of our life. There is absolutely no virtue in the unnecessary suffering, which many of us have felt for much of our life. We don’t have to allow others to make us miserable, and we don’t have to make ourselves miserable.... A good day does not have to be the calm before the storm. That’s an old way of thinking we learned in dysfunctional systems. In recovery, a good day or a good feeling doesn’t mean we’re in denial. We don’t have to wreck our good times by obsessively searching for or creating a problem. Enjoying our good days doesn’t mean we’re disloyal to loved ones who are having problems. We don’t have to make ourselves feel guilty because other people aren’t having a good day. We don’t have to make ourselves miserable to be like them. They can have their day and their feelings; we can have ours. A good feeling is to be enjoyed. More than we can imagine, good days are ours for the asking. Today, I will let myself enjoy what is good. I don’t have to wreck my good day or good feeling; I don’t have to let others spoil it either.

People may doubt what I say, but they always believe what I do. ~Ellie E. It’s maddening and frustrating when people don’t believe what we say. Not that they think we’re liars, exactlyjust that they don’t believe us. When we tell them we’ve committed, for example, they may just roll their eyes as if to say, Oh sure, tell me another one.... Actions speak a lot louder than words. Before, maybe many times before, we might have told the same people about making the same commitment. And then we gave it up almost as soon as we said it. Eventually, our words have no credence to anyoneincluding ourselves. If we want people to believe us, we have to follow up on what we say. If we say we won’t tolerate abuse, we have to do what it takes to stop it. If we say we will take better care of ourselves, we have to make a plan of action and stick to it. Talk is cheap. It is incredible how quickly we can regain credibility when we walk our talk. Today, I will be aware of talking a better game than I play. I will not say a thing today that I can’t back up with action.

When all else is lost, the future still remains. ~Christian Bouee Ours is a program of hope. We sit in meetings and give each other hope. No matter how long we have been soberfive days or thirty yearsthere will be times when we feel horrible. This is life. In everyone’s life, there are times of extraordinary joy, but also times of incredible pain.... If we act from our values and the spiritual principles of our Higher Power, the pain will be transformed into growth and new understanding. Pain is transitory and softens with time. These are the lessons of recovery. Bad times can be transformed into growth and joy. Prayer for the Day Higher Power, I give you my pain, and I ask you to show me the lessons I’m to learn. I ask for your help in holding on to hope. Help me never to forget that you and others are with me. Today's Action Today I will list the times during my active addiction that I felt most hopeless. Then I will think of what lessons I learned from these moments. How did others, my Higher Power, and I transform these moments?

Only by caring for and loving ourselves can we feel safe. Many fears are born of self-loathing. ~Anonymous The need to feel safe is primary within each of us. Without safety, life is frightening and overwhelming. Not feeling safe can even affect our will to live. Why go on when we feel alone in a hostile world?... As addicts who have been buffeted by our own and others’ actions, we need to put feeling safe at the top of our priority list. Safety involves setting boundaries between ourselves and other people. It means having our needs met. It consists of affirming that we are competent and that we are lovable. It also requires inviting our Higher Power into what has been the void of our life. We can’t feel safe living in a void. We have to fill it with something meaningful, and the choices we make will determine whether we live or merely exist. I acknowledge my need for safety, and I am working to balance it with my desire for risk.

Reflection for the Day The language of friendship is not words, but meanings, wrote Thoreau. Life indeed takes on new meanings, as well as new meaning in recovery. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friendsthis is an experience not to be missed. Can I recall my initial reactions when I came to recovery? Do I believe that I’ve finally come home? Today I Pray... As recovery has given life new meanings for me, may I pass along to others that same chance to re-evaluate their lives in the light of sobriety, common purpose, friendships, and spiritual expansion. I praise my Higher Power for my new vision of human life and for restoring for me the value and purpose of living. Today I Will Remember I value my life.

Accepting ourselves Many of us used to think that our Higher Power hates this or that about us or others, but our Higher Power doesn’t hate at all. Our Higher Power accepts us and loves us no matter how we have lived. It understands that we are capable of changing. This is the only way we come to know our Higher Power, even as we begin to accept ourselves and others. The ability to accept ourselves more and more is a gift. It comes as we build upon the strong, valuable parts ...of ourselves. Am I learning to accept myself? Higher Power, help me believe in your acceptance, forgiveness, and generosity; help me to be willing to see myself in a new way. Today I will work on self-acceptance by

The perfection of innocence, indeed, is madness. ~Arthur Miller We’ve all said, I didn’t do anything. Don’t blame me; I didn’t mean any harm. Overdevelopment of innocence contradicts our spiritual growth. The painful truth is, we do have an impact on other people. Often, we have cultivated innocence as a style, and it has stood in our way of being accountable.... We cannot be in a relationship without sometimes hurting the ones we love. Spiritual growth requires us to take action and to take responsibility for what we do. It is painful to acknowledge we made a mistake and hurt someone. But giving up our innocent style is constructive pain. It opens the possibility to correct our ways, make repairs, and be forgiven. Then we are in the mainstream of hearty spiritual life. May I have the grace to let go of my innocence by taking action and admitting my mistakes?

But the alcoholicwill be unable to stop drinking based on self-knowledge. ~The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous Our program says three things are more important than knowing ourselves: first, admitting we have no control over our addiction; second, believing in a Higher Power; and third, turning our lives over to the care of that Higher Power.... Knowing ourselves makes our lives better in recovery. But it does not give us sobriety. Sobriety starts with surrender to our Higher Power. We now know we need the faith and strength we get from a Higher Power. We also need the support of others in our program. Prayer for the Day Higher Power, thank you for my sobriety today. Teach me what I need to know about myself to do Your will today. Action for the Day Today I’ll talk with my sponsor about the change in my spirit that keeps me sober.

Planning is deciding what to change today so that tomorrow will be different from yesterday. ~Ichak Adizes A house is like a lump of clay that can be molded and changed. It can be fixed and shaped, torn down and added to, painted, papered, carpeted, and paneled. We can think about how to change it, find pictures in books, and order plans. We can stock up on supplies, take fix-it classes, and get advice from others. But the house will remain unchanged until we pick up a brush,... grab a bucket of paint, and get to work. Only then will we see tomorrow the results of what we did today. Our plans help us construct a vision of how we'd like the future to be, but only actions will bring these things about. With confidence in the rightness of our desires, we can be assured that God never gives us a dream we can't reach. What action can I take today to make tomorrow's changes?