Niagara on the Lake Counselling
111A Garrison Village Drive, Suite 206 L0S 1J0 Niagara-on-the-Lake, ON, Canada

Brene Brown says that daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. When we set a boundary, we teach people around us how to treat us, and we build a sense of self-worth. We are saying to ourselves I will show up for you. Setting and maintaining self-supportive boundaries is a really powerful way to manage anxiety and build our confidence. How do you know that you need to set a boundary? Your emotions an...d your body will tell you, so make friends with them. One of the main emotional indicators is resentment. When you notice feelings of resentment or anger, this may represent an unstated or violated boundary. Your body will also send you signals. Notice how your body feels when you are around certain people. Is there tightness? Tension? A feeling of instability or shrinking? When setting boundaries, we can maintain our self-worth and simultaneously respect the other person by using assertiveness strategies. Monitor your tone, words, and body language. So. Roll your shoulders back, feel the length of your spine supporting you, take a deep breath, and choose yourself over someone else’s comfort. #notl #niagaraonthelake #niagara #stcatharines #niagarafalls #therapy #niagaratherapist #therapist #counselling #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #wellness #mindfulness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #inhale #exhale #feelings #vulnerability #emotions #boundaries #selfworth #embodiment #courageovercomfort

These are hard times. The combination of risk and uncertainty can feel overwhelming. There is no need to do any of this alone. If you're wondering whether therapy may be helpful for you, dip a toe and see how it feels. I always recommend connecting over the phone with a couple of different therapists, asking any questions you may have, and following your gut in terms of who feels like a good fit. The research says that around 40% of the effectiveness of therapy relate...s to the quality of the relationship between the client and therapist, so it makes sense to try before you buy. We are fortunate in the Niagara Region to have some exceptionally skilled clinicians, most of whom are continuing to offer online sessions. If you’re curious, request a free 15 min consultation and see how it feels. Dip your toe! The water’s warm. #notl #niagaraonthelake #niagara #stcatharines #niagarafalls #therapy #niagaratherapist #therapist #counselling #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #wellness #mindfulness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #inhale #exhale #feelings #vulnerability #emotions #trysomethingnew

If it hurts, you’re probably doing something right. We need to move into the emotion in order to heal it. We need to move through it to get to the other side. Keep moving. #notl #niagaraonthelake #niagara #therapy #niagaratherapist #therapist #counselling #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #wellness #mindfulness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #inhale #exhale #feelings #vulnerability #emotions #ACT #acceptance #commitment

Emotions tend to follow the laws of nature. Just like the waves, what we feel will peak, soften, and pass if we allow the experience to unfold. I know, easier said than done when in a moment of panic. At the very least, reminding yourself of the impermanence of all emotions can help when you’re feeling engulfed by them. To help in riding the wave, you can try saying the following: this too shall pass ride this wave... I know I am breathing in. I know I am breathing out This is normal. This is valid. This is human You can also try this with your body: take a deep diaphragmatic breath lay on the floor with your legs up against the wall a burst of intense exercise (ie. jumping jacks) dance! #notl #niagaraonthelake #niagara #therapy #niagaratherapist #therapist #counselling #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #wellness #mindfulness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #inhale #exhale #feelings #vulnerability #emotions #ACT #somatic #acceptance #commitment #ridethewave #notice #allow #expand

Instead of trying to stop yourself from feeling or thinking certain uncomfortable things, instead, try to change your relationship with these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Once you bring acceptance to what is happening internally, you can end the tug-of-war struggle that often happens when we deny, push away, or try desperately just NOT to feel what we’re feeling. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers an approach which does just this - helping us to change ...our relationship with our thoughts and emotions, instead of turning away from them. ACE is a wonderful strategy to manage racing thoughts, feelings of panic, or any experience that has you feeling as though it has hooked you. It helps you to hold the internal experience lightly while you also notice your body, and then come into your 5 senses, helping you to engage fully in the present moment. This is one way of dropping anchor into the present moment when the seas feel stormy. #notl #niagaraonthelake #niagara #therapy #niagaratherapist #therapist #counselling #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #wellness #mindfulness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #inhale #exhale #feelings #vulnerability #emotions #ACT #ACE #acceptance #commitment

#notl #niagaraonthelake #niagara #therapy #therapist #counselling #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #wellness #mindfulness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #inhale #exhale #feelings #vulnerability #happiness #ACT #validation #self-validation

It’s generally accepted - with a little variation here and there amongst experts - that there are 9 core emotions. Take a look at the list above, and without giving it too much thought, give a thumbs up or thumbs down to each of them. If you’re like most people, you’re going to label 6 out of 9 of the core emotions as bad or negative. Only 3 of the 9 will be seen as good by most people. So, then, why in the world do we have an expectation that pleasant, comfortable... emotions should be our baseline? That’s only 30% of the experience of being human. Further, it’s pretty unrealistic to expect ourselves to be joyful all or most of the time. It’s only one of the nine emotional experiences. Notice and hold lightly all of the emotions as they perch on your shoulder. They are information for us, about our values, what we hold dear, and whether there is a gap between what we have and what we long for. Although this is not the point, or the goal, when we learn to hold our emotions more lightly, relieving ourselves of expectations and pressure to be a certain way, we may, paradoxically, start noticing more of the joy, curiosity and love. #notl #niagaraonthelake #niagara #therapy #niagaratherapist #therapist #counselling #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #wellness #mindfulness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #inhale #exhale #feelings #vulnerability #emotions #lockdown #ACT #validation #selfvalidation #acceptance #holdlightly

In times of stress our brains will gravitate toward all-or-nothing, black and white thinking. It may be more difficult during these times for us to remember the impermanence of.well, everything. It may feel as though we’ll never hug our loved ones again, that the kids will never get back to school/routine, that we will always feel this way. When you feel stuck, hopeless, defeated, remember that this, too, shall pass, just like the waves. Breathe deeply, and try to hold l...ightly any black and white thinking that may be adding insult to the injury of this pandemic. #notl #niagaraonthelake #niagara #therapy #niagaratherapist #therapist #counselling #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #wellness #mindfulness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #inhale #exhale #feelings #vulnerability #emotions #lockdown #ACT #validation #selfvalidation #perfectionism #worthiness

There’s a lot that we miss out on when we’re being run to death on the hamster wheel of perfectionism. This pandemic has ushered many unanticipated new perspectives into our lives; I hope that we can all deeply know that perfection is unattainable, and also that its pursuit is a soul-destroying waste of our lives. Time to hop off the wheel. How? Learn about perfectionism. Know that striving for perfection is a way that we armour up to protect ourselves from some of the ...deeper emotions - mostly shame. Bring mindfulness to the ways in which perfectionism shows up in your life. Work, home, parenting, relationships, diet and exercise, appearance, social media, etc. Remind yourself of your inherent worthiness. You are worthy of love and belonging right this minute, not because of what you do or how perfectly you do it. Just because you exist. Find a good therapist and keep doing the work #notl #niagaraonthelake #niagara #therapy #niagaratherapist #therapist #counselling #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #wellness #mindfulness #anxiety #depression #selfcare #inhale #exhale #feelings #vulnerability #emotions #lockdown #ACT #validation #self-validation #perfectionism #worthiness #elizabethgilbert #brenebrown #dothework

Today I attended a zoom gathering honouring a beautiful soul who was lost tragically to Covid last week. I never met her, but was honoured to hear the stories shared by family and friends. She was a woman who delighted in the little things: sharing food, laughter and her home with those in her life; playing piano and making cherry pie; connecting with neighbours, laughing with friends, holding her family close. The invitation offered by one of the speakers was to bless her ...memory by embracing these little things. The smell of cherry pie, the sound of piano floating out an open window, the laughter of people we love, the hug that lasts just a moment longer. In the end, these are the threads, woven together year after year, that create the rich, colourful tapestry of a beautiful life. #notl #niagaraonthelake #niagara #therapy #therapist #counselling #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #wellness #mindfulness #littlethings