Nurtured Child

When possible... "Aim for completion of the emotion. It’s rare for children to be able to cry for as long as they want. Even though it may seem like childr...en cry all the time, they are constantly being stoppedor urged to stop. Many adults still suffer the consequences of having their emotions blocked so often in childhood. "Here's a new concept: being all the way done. The signal that a troubling emotion is completed is that a child can make relaxed eye contact, return happily to play, or drift off peacefully to sleep. It takes time for emotions to complete. "A father told me that he was very open to listening to his children’s emotions. He went on to say, I give them one minute, then tell them that is enough. No! One minute is rarely enough for the completion of a big emotion. It takes as long as it takes." Larry Cohen, author of Playful Parenting (among other titles) - extract from his Feb. 2020 newsletter.

Domesticity does not equal motherhood. I once sat in a class where teenage girls said they needed to learn how to cook, do laundry, and clean if they wanted... to one day be good moms. I stopped and told them that cooking, doing laundry, and cleaning are part of being an ADULT. Those are not the things that make up motherhood. But I get where they got that conclusion. You always hear women say they aren’t good moms when they don’t make homemade lunches, prepare cupcakes for the bake sale, show up to the doctor with kids who have brushed hair, or get the laundry put away in a decent time. I’m such a bad mom. I sent store-bought valentines to school with my kid. Mom fail. I didn’t get the laundry done. I’m a failure as a mom. I don’t make homemade bread/cookies/whatever. NO. Your success as a mother is not defined by domestic duties. Domestic duties are part of being an adult. While your children do need to be changed and fed, that’s not the summation of MOTHERHOOD. Anyone can change and feed children, including dads. You can hire someone to clean your house and feed your kids, and you’ll still be a mom. And if you weren’t a mom, you’d still have to clean your house, cook food, and do laundry. You’re not a bad mom because you didn’t do laundry in time. Let’s stop combining domestic duties with motherhood, because they just aren’t the same. Yes, moms do domestic things. And they raise children. These are two separate things. Your housekeeping is not your motherhood, and you’re giving away power when you combine the two and judge one against the other. You are a good mom because you love your child, and you try to help them learn the things they need to learn. You worry about your kids, you spend time with them, you plan for their future, and so much more. You might be terrible at domestic duties (I don’t know) or you might be the best housekeeper in the world. But neither end of the spectrum -- or anything in between -- determines if you’re a good mom or not. Housekeeping is NOT motherhood. https://www.rebeccabrownwright.com/housekeeping-is-not-mot/

Language matters!

https://offspring.lifehacker.com/what-to-say-to-little-kids