Oakville Family Birth

#39weeks This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I got pregnant in the middle of March. Yep, just as the shit hit the fan. We had NO idea what was coming. And, the past 9 months were only the last leg of a three year journey. It was December of 2017 when we conceived our third baby for the first time. I lost five pregnancies before this one finally stuck, against all odds. I was overcome with anxiety from the very first second. When I saw that positive test I literally fell... to my knees. I'd been working through PTSD from the trauma of my previous losses, so when Covid rolled in I was a mess, to be honest. Managing stress and worry has been an every day struggle. I want you to know that I'm proud of myself. I share this not for praise but to give YOU a nudge: if you've been riding these waves yourself, you should be proud as hell of yourself too. Others may tell you they're proud of you and that's wonderful, but I want you to feel it for yourself. You have been the answer this whole time. You have always been rising. I won't wrap this up with "At least..." or "I'm still grateful for..." - there may always be some sweetness sprinkled in there, but it's OKAY to simply acknowledge when things are hard. You do not have to point out a silver lining every time you share your story of grief and hardship. When I have this baby in my arms, when I see him and feel him, I'll feel all the joy. Angels singing, bells ringing....it is the holidays after all. And, I'll still feel my grief and I accept it all.

I need to make something right! I simply haven’t spent enough time on here talking about Nicole. So many of you are already lucky enough to know Nicole Anderson. Maybe she’s been your birth or postpartum doula, or maybe you’re one of our doula buddies But if you don’t know...Nicole and I have been working together as partners for well over two years now. She’s a birth and postpartum doula, childbirth educator, infant feeding specialist, and car seat technician. She’s also ...an incredibly beautiful person, inside and out, one of my top motherhood mentors and literally the best doula I know. Work aside, she’s been a rock for me as I’ve navigated the ups and downs of the last few years. I really couldn’t ever tell you what a gem this woman is. It’s a privilege to know her and to work with her. Somehow we have very few pics together but I rounded up some memories to share. That last one was taken at a training we did together years ago...I mean, it’s not all business all the time As I head into maternity leave (still figuring out what that means!), I’m so grateful to have Nicole stay on as a steady presence. She is available for birth and postpartum doula support, as well as private prenatal classes. To know her is to love her, so please if you’ve had the gift of Nicole’s support drop a comment below and tell us about it

Liquid Gold (PART 1) Have you heard about collecting colostrum before birth? First, what is colostrum anyway? Colostrum is the first form of milk that the body makes for a new baby. Production happens throughout the second half of pregnancy, ready to rock when baby arrives. It's full of sugar, antibodies, protein....the optimal first food. Stable blood sugar levels are vital in the hours and days after birth, which is one of the reasons newborns feed so frequently.... Collecting colostrum before birth isn't necessary for most babies. It can be helpful, though, if there are any anticipated reasons why baby might have some trouble feeding and/or regulating their blood sugars in the critical first few days. Here are some examples: Maternal conditions: endocrine disorders such as diabetes or PCOS *can* (but do not always) affect the development of breast tissue and establishment of the milk supply. Another example is if there is a known issue of flat or inverted nipples (again, this isn't always a challenge but it can be) In baby: known anatomy issues such as cleft lip/palate, some genetic conditions, or another anticipated reason why baby will need to be in special care/NICU and away from the breast Especially small and especially large babies have a harder time regulating their sugars, so if you know your baby will be born pre-term or that they're estimated to be small/large-for-dates, this isn't a bad idea. Talk with your care provider before collecting colostrum. There is a chance that stimulating the breasts this way could cause uterine contractions, so typically this is left to the last couple weeks before birth and there are some cases when harvesting colostrum is not recommended. Look for part 2 to see some techniques/tips on collecting colostrum - what you need, how to express, how to store, and what to do with it after birth. (Update: since Facebook doesn’t let biz pages upload photos and videos in the same post, please check out Part 2 on Instagram, here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CIYgelsH3Qz/?igshid=jdubuxurtbjy) Tag a friend who might need this info!

Sibling Spacing Common question: "What's the right spacing between siblings?" There is of course no best answer to this question; there are pros and cons to every scenario. Some will say they prefer to do the baby stage (the diapers, the gear, the nap schedules, etc) all at once, or that they want their kids to be close in age so they have a close relationship. Others will say they prefer to focus on one little at a time, waiting until their oldest is entering school before... having another baby. The cost of child care () can be a factor here too! I want to acknowledge that sibling spacing is NOT always ours to control, and I say that from experience. When we started going for baby 3, my youngest was 2...she's 5 now. On the flip side, some parents become pregnant with a younger sibling a lot earlier than they were planning, and that's just their journey. What do you think? If you're planning to have more than one child, what do you think will work best for your family? Or, what's been your unexpected sibling spacing and how do you feel about it?

#Winteriscoming, and I'm a little concerned. I've talked to so many new moms and moms-to-be lately. There's a feeling of disconnect in the air and I'm worried about how it affects maternal mental health and, more broadly, the wellbeing of those moms. Those who give birth in the next few months will have navigated their entire pregnancy under the context of Covid-19. Totally unprepared, of course, because we didn't see this one coming! I know I swooned over the idea of #2020 b...eing the #bestyearever How are you approaching this? How will you get the support you need? If you're still waiting on your baby, please know that you WILL need support. We are simply not meant to do this alone. How will you stay connected to others? Have you thought about this? Should we be planning more proactively for this? Or, can we? What do you want to see more of in your community? What would help to meet your need for emotional connection while still respecting the recommendations of public health and your personal boundaries as a family? I would love to be some small part of the solution. And heck yeah, as a person who's expecting next month I'm personally invested in this too. Giving birth in the winter puts a person at increased risk for postpartum mood disorders straight out of the gate. At least for a while there, there was the option of distanced outdoor gatherings. I mean, I'd be down for some kind of babywearing, snowshoeing get together group as long as it's not -20 outside....who's with me But seriously, add to this complexity of #pandemicfatigue and I'm really wondering, how can I set myself up to thrive? I want that for you, too. If you have any ideas, please share. Weekly Google meet? Facebook community? Or, did I have you at snowshoes? I've always wanted a pair...say the word and we'll start a #showshoesquad and defeat the winter blahs!

Grateful to a special person for reminding me yesterday of an affirmation that I've always loved....I can do hard things. You can too Everyone's walking a slightly different path, but there's some tough stuff happening out there right now. Small business owners, especially brick and mortars, I SEE YOU and I know this has been every kind of stress. And maybe you're not a business owner, but this year has messed with you in other ways. Maybe you've lost your job, maybe you've... lost a loved one. Maybe like so many others, your mental health has suffered. November/December/January moms and dads-to-be: I of course have a special love for you. You (we ) are the first ones whose pregnancies have entirely overlapped with the pandemic. I have to laugh now at the memory of staring at that positive test back in March and wondering, "Is Covid going to be, like, a big deal?" So many of your experiences and choices have been affected. You've felt a looming fear you could never have prepared for. Is birth going to be a piece of cake now that your strength has carried you through a #pandemicpregnancy? Let's just put that out there You can do hard things. You got through every one of your worst days so far and whatever you're facing right now, I know you're going to rise above this time too. So, this is your random Thursday PSA: YOU'VE GOT THIS

HEAD DOWN, BABY Early last week in my midwife appointment we found out that baby boy was breech (head up by my ribs) after weeks of being reliably head down. I was just rolling into 35 weeks at the time, which ideally is when we want babies settling into a head down position for birth. While this didn't sound any major alarms and we agreed that there was still some time, I tend to make big babies so I did want to take action. [Note: it's worth pointing out that most babies ...settle head down all on their own. Nothing to lose sleep over! For various reasons, sometimes they need a little help.] As with so many pregnancy-related topics, there isn't a lot of good quality research on helping a baby to get into the right position. There are some small studies with limited designs, and much of what we have to guide us is based on practice, observation, and anecdote. Please always talk to your care provider! Our plan was to use a combination of low-risk approaches: chiropractic, acupuncture, moxibustion (this therapy comes from Traditional Chinese Medicine and involves burning dried herbs at particular points on the body), and positional/postural techniques (inversions, pelvic tilts, hip openers, etc). Enjoy these shoddy pics It felt like a lot of work and a long few days, but by the end of the week silly baby was back where he should be, confirmed by ultrasound (those lips!). HAPPY DANCE [One more note: if you find yourself in this situation, know that you can do all the "right" things and end up with a persistently breech babe. Sometimes we don't know why until birth, but there are reasons why a baby could "refuse" to flip. This could be related to the length or whereabouts of the cord, the shape of the uterus, etc. You have NOT failed if your baby stays breech in spite of everything.] Have you dealt with a breech baby? What did you do? @ Oakville, Ontario

A few weeks ago we discussed the cervix. The message was that it's NOT a crystal ball! It doesn't tell us when your labour will begin. Today let's discuss the concept of your BELLY DROPPING which is also called "lightening." Lightening occurs when the baby's head engages in the top of the bowl-shaped pelvis and sometimes it's so obvious from the outside that it looks like the belly actually drops down. If/when you notice this happening - which could happen in a day, or more g...radually - you might notice you can breathe a little better as your diaphragm/ribs get a little more space. On the flipside you might notice increased pressure in the pelvis, as if you're hauling around a bowling ball Lightening can happen in the last few weeks of pregnancy, or not until the very beginning of labour. Can you see where I'm going here ...there's a wiiide range of normal. Like the changing cervix, lightening is an indicator that birth is approaching *but* - especially if this is your first birth - it's a totally unreliable sign! Like the cervix, lightening is another thing we tend to put a lot of unnecessary focus on. Well-meaning moms and aunties will stare you up and down and say, "You've totally dropped!" Or, You STILL haven't dropped?!" You might notice lightening at 38 weeks, get excited, and then still be pregnant 3 weeks later. You might be approaching your due date with no signs of baby dropping and feel discouraged, but then go into labour a few hours later. Both of those are common and normal, so basically it's just not super important when your baby drops. Try your best to avoid getting too invested in this and just surrender to the unknown. And trust me, I KNOW this is easier said than done because when we're in the homestretch we're typically pretty antsy for any sign that baby is coming. It's SO hard to let go of control. Questions? Or, what have been your experiences with this?

High on nesting instincts, I tried to run errands last night even though I was already tired. I was determined to grab everything I needed for the baby, for the birth, and of course a dozen other things we need between now and Christmas. Yep, Christmas....December baby means I can’t do my usual last minute thing and since I dislike shopping on a good day I’ve been pretty determined to knock this all out! A couple hours in my body told me, in more ways than one, OH HELL NO. Ev...erything hurt (third trimester friends, you know what I mean when I say...everything ). I searched the store for somewhere to rest with no luck, so I ended up sitting awkwardly on a low shelf. This turned out to be no more comfortable than standing, so after a couple minutes I said a quick prayer and hoisted myself back up using the side of my shopping cart. Then I waddled toward the check out, grabbed a bag of chips by the cash and ate them on the car ride home. Soooo these were not my finest moments! And I was pretty down about it last night. Today though, my inner doula voice is strong. She says, There is no shame in slowing down. I wish we heard this more. Wherever you are right now, pregnancy/postpartum or not, cut yourself some slack! Kick that inner critic in the (thunder) crotch and put your feet up for a while

This idea that dignity goes out the window while giving birth...it actually couldn’t be further from the truth. Labour is a time of incredible strength, surrender, and triumph. It’s a time of support and love, of true reverence. When you have a great support team in that room with you, they look at you like you are an absolute miracle (yes, I I feel this every single time I attend a birth; never gets old). Birth is raw, yes. There are body parts and fluids; sometimes there...'s nudity (this is your call). There are noises, sometimes loud ones. It can be highly instinctual, or it can involve a lot of coaching and even medical intervention. And none of this makes birth any less DIGNIFIED. Dignity means "worthy of honour or respect." The birthing environment should be, above all else, a place of respect. The birthing person is worthy of the highest honour. Simply put, you should feel like an effin' queen when you give birth. Let's reject the dialogue around birth being embarrassing, gross, undignified. It's sexist and yucky. Birth is the ultimate triumph. Can anyone share a story of what happened in their labour that made them feel supported? Was it a person you had by your side, something about the birthing environment, or something you did to empower yourself? : Lauren Jolly Photography - Winston Salem Birth Photographer (Sometimes support looks like this. I am with you. You have me. I’ll make sure you stay connected to your power.)