PDA Parenting Solutions

This is an incredible resource!

Every parent, teacher, anyone who works with children needs to listen to this This kind of ideology is a huge part of our training https://youtu.be/4xAavs6BbP8

Here are some resources for adults.

Seen Lindsay Sanderson Let me repeat this: when you push a child/adult to do something she/he/they simply developmentally can not do, you create a profound be...lief that (a) I hate this; (b) I can’t do this; (c) I will never be able to do this, and (d) There’s something wrong with me." - Carol Black . . http://carolblack.org/a-thousand-rivers See more

And for kids with PDA this can show up as asking food to be made only to then reject it and want something else. Or saying they are hungry but turning down everything offered, including favourite foods.

Fantastic resource! Seen at Kristy Forbes.

#masking #actuallyautistic #PDA #IFS #autisticmemes

Ability to Regulate Stimulation Is your child a sensory seeker? We talk about supporting and not discouraging sensory seeking because the children need the sti...mulation to calm and organize their nervous system. However, we are assuming that the children know how to regulate the stimulation to provide what their nervous systems need. This is often not the case. They may seek sensory stimulation to help soothe or organize their nervous systems but not know what type of stimulation to use or how much to provide themselves. They may seek out movement, vocalization, or motor patterns that they may need but provide way too much stimulation, or too fast, that it overwhelms them and further dysregulates themselves. Knowing how much and how often to provide the stimulation is often too complex for the children to understand. Children on the spectrum are all or nothing thinkers and have difficulty gauging relativity (how much is good enough) to keep their nervous system in the optimal, just right, level of arousal, where they are both calm and alert. For example, a child may have an under-aroused nervous system and seeks out movement stimulation (climbing, pacing, crashing, running around, etc.) to alert himself. However, since he does not know how much stimulation to alert himself or seeks it too intensively, he frequently provides too much that it overwhelms him and makes him more disorganized. He goes from under-aroused to over-aroused, and rarely in the optimal range of arousal. Consequently, we need to identify what stimulation and how much is needed and teach the child to provide the just right dose of stimulation to optimize his arousal. Another example is that a child may slap his knuckles on the desk at school to provide ongoing proprioception to stay alert. This is very distracting to the other students and becomes more intense when the child is anxious. However, we can still provide proprioception to the fingers' joints by teaching him to squeeze a squish ball or squeeze the fingers and knuckles of one hand with his other hand. This alternate way of providing stimulation to the joints of the fingers may be more effective, as was as more tolerable, then his knuckle slapping. So, if the child seeks out frequent and intense stimulation, do not assume that he is meeting his nervous system's needs and just back off and let him haphazardly seek out stimulation. He is TRYING to meet his nervous system's needs but is not successful in doing so and maybe dysregulating his nervous system in the opposite direction. Watch him closely. Try to figure out what stimulation (touch, sound, proprioception, vestibular/movement, etc.) he is seeking out and needs, and then see if it is working to calm and organize him. Watch to see if he regulates the amount and frequency of the stimulation to maximize his nervous system or if he struggles at knowing how to provide the just right type and amount of stimulation. If not, then play around with gauging the type and amount for him and building in a sensory diet of ongoing activities that provide the just-right amount of stimulation. This is where an Occupational Therapist or other professionals trained in sensory processing difficulties can help identify what type of stimulation is needed, how often to provide it, and how intensively to give it so the child gets the maximum effect. In teaching the children how to recognize when their nervous systems are over or under aroused and what stimulation to provide to organize it, they become empowered to effectively use self-stimulation to regulate his nervous system. Mary Sue Williams and Sherry Shellenberger book ‘How does your engine run’ provides a good model for teaching children how to monitor and organize the stimulation they need.

The polyvagal ladder is a great tool for an intro level understanding of Polyvagal Theory. But if we’re going to use Polyvagal Theory in our lives, as people co...ping with trauma and stress on a regular basis and people seeking to recover, it’s important for us to understand the next level - the mixed states. None of the states ever exist entirely without the others, and we may be frequently in flux between different dominant states. When I talk about what an individual state feels like in my slide set on the Polyvagal Ladder, I’m talking about the times when that circuit is the dominant neural influence on our physiology. If you take a look at the dials in the photo, you’ll see what a wide variety of combinations of these states is possible. We can have all 3 circuits at high tone or low tone or anywhere in between. Neural tone is sort of like amps, a measure of electric current in the nerve. There are 3 mixed states that are vital for us to know about if we are basing any of our personal healing practices on polyvagal theory. 1. Play 2. Fawn 3. Stillness 1. Play is when we can easily dance between Sympathetic (gas) and Ventral Vagus (foot brake). This mixed state helps us safely release excess energy. We can only release as much sympathetic energy as we have Ventral Vagal tone to contain it, otherwise the body will shutdown like an overloaded circuit breaker. 2. Fawn is when we control our Sympathetic activation (gas) with the Dorsal Vagus (emergency brake) so that we appear to be in a social engagement state. This mixed state is damaging to the nervous system if it happens too frequently. It is important to have a refuge where you don’t have to use this state so that you can recover your internal resources. 3. Stillness is when we rest and replenish our internal resources. Stillness is a dance between Ventral Vagus and Dorsal Vagus. (This puts two brakes on our sympathetic energy at the same time.) You can think of it as safe Dorsal. Stillness is particularly important for neurodivergent people as a way to recover from routine stressors and trauma. Thanks for attending my little Polyvagal 201 lecture Hope it helps clarify some things for you. Feel free to let me know if you have questions about how all this works! . . . More Polyvagal Terms & Definitions Ventral Vagus: A nerve circuit which enables our social engagement system to function. The social engagement system is how we are able to connect with self, others, nature, and higher states of consciousness. Sympathetic activation: This part of our nervous system enables daily movement as well as the fight/flight stress responses. If you are alive there is always some level of sympathetic activation happening. Low levels are used for waking, sitting, standing, while high levels allow us to run, exert a lot of energy, or express big feelings. Dorsal Vagus: A nerve circuit which has two roles, depending on its neural tone. At low-tone, the dorsal vagus is how we rest and digest, sleep, rebuild/repair, meditate, and slow down for intimacy. At high tone, the dorsal vagus shuts off all nonessential body processes to protect us from a life threat. . . . Photo credit: https://equusoma.com/the-polyvagal-theory-and-horses/ [This article makes a common mistake of equating Fawn with Tend and Befriend. However, Tend and Befriend is a response of the ventral vagus social engagement system and Fawn is not.] . . . . . . . . I make infographics to be used as teaching tools (linktr.ee/TraumaGeek). They are free to view and professionals can purchase printable copies. My goal for these is to help Neurodivergents, parents, educators, and healing professionals understand the diverse and complex ways that ND humans process input from their world including traumatic events. I also offer a small number of one-on-one consultations each month where I provide targeted research assistance and answer specific questions about neurodiversity, polyvagal theory, and trauma. (You can schedule a chat with me here: https://calendly.com/traumageek/learn-with-trauma-geek) We have a Facebook group for neurodivergent people that you are welcome to join if you identify as neurodivergent (Neurodivergent = any non-normative neurology, including Autistic, ADHD, C-PTSD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, or any mental health dX) [It’s free!] https://www.facebook.com/groups/theNDSocialClub ALL of this work (and also the chilrens’ book I am writing about the nervous system) is made possible by patron members at www.patreon.com/TraumaGeek. I am especially grateful for you all over the holidays!

This is an important distinction

Abby Sesterka of Linguistic Autistic and I were super excited when the editor of our Psychology Today blog commissioned a written piece for the print magazine, ...taking ideas from both our blog article on late-diagnosis https://www.psychologytoday.com//when-late-diagnosis-autis and our blog article on messages we wish we could give our younger selves https://www.psychologytoday.com//5-messages-my-younger-aut It took a while for the print copy to make its way from New York to us, but here it is in the October edition of the magazine! We hope our messages of Autism acceptance reach a wider audience through both print and online media. #Page30 #AutisticsInPrint #PsychologyTodayMagazine #PsychologyTodayPrintMagazine #LinguisticAutistic #AutisticWellbeing #AutismAcceptance #Autism #Neurodiversity

I like that idea of looking at series of excursions. It reminds me of the importance of creating that safety and trust with our child with PDA that allows them to feel secure enough to explore.

AUTISTIC SHUTDOWN (graphic + links) Text: I Want You To Know About...Autistic Shutdown Autistic shutdown is like an internalized meltdown. While the person is ...experiencing a lot of emotions, they can't express them outwardly. It may look like this: zoning out, exhaustion/falling asleep, hiding/defensive position. How can allistic (non-autistic) folks help? - Safety first! Help them to a quiet place w/ minimal stimuli. - Be sensory sensible! Have a kit tailored to their needs. - Eliminate all expectations/demands. They are currently overloaded. - Reduce interactions, giving them space and time. REMEMBER: Autistic shut-down is NOT stubbornness, laziness or disrespect. Autistic shut-down is involuntary, painful, exhausting. Please, be patient and compassionate. Info by Kate, Autistic Girls’ Journey; illustrated by Introvert Doodles For additional Autistic insights (including ways to support a loved one), please see: * From Neurodivergent Rebel, 'Autism & Shutdowns - How They Differ From Autistic Meltdowns' (tinyurl.com/y8rj85sp) * From Amythest Schaber, 'Ask An Autistic: What Are Autistic Shutdowns?' (youtu.be/3WIiL8vBjq0) * From Speaking of Autism - Quincy Hansen, 'Understanding Shutdowns & Autism' (tinyurl.com/vywxvwv)