Raising Littles l Parenting & Sleep Specialist

Today, I wanted to talk about raising children who will become well-functioning adults. Yes, our sweet, perfect little babies will become adults one day. It’s hard for me to imagine my sweet, sassy, funny little baby boys will become men, but I always try to keep this is in mind interactions them. An adult does not have to share.... An adult does not have to eat all of their food. An adult can be tired. An adult can be in a bad mood and feel their feels. An adult can make mistakes. An adult does not have to be friends with everyone. An adult can make their own choices. An adult has free will, rights, and respect (or at least we hope). However, we don’t prepare our children for this. We expect them to fall into what we believe is good, what we want them to do, what we’re comfortable with, what society tells, and what makes sense to us. But it’s not about us. In doing this, we teach our children to go against their instincts and needs. We teach them that it isn’t okay to say no, to feel, to express themselves. We teach them not to take care of themselves. In the end, we have adults who don’t have boundaries, who don’t know how to communicate, and who try to please everyone but themselves. Don’t get me wrong. There are boundaries in our home, but we also model respectful interactions, communication, and acknowledge unmet needs. I want my children to know that their feelings, wants, and needs are important.

Suicidal thoughts and scary thoughts of harming your baby can be a normal symptoms of postpartum depression and anxiety. And yes, suicide is a leading cause of ...maternal death (out of 15 leading causes) and something we NEED to be addressing. However, infanticide or actually harming one’s baby, is less common and often a result of postpartum psychosis, which occurs in about 1-2 out of 1000 mothers. The thing is, if we’re only looking for signs of suicide and infanticide, if that’s all we think, and tell mothers, about postpartum depression/anxiety, then we’re not giving out the right information and missing a whole lot of opportunities to realize when something is wrong. See more

Society is hyper-focused on independence, but what is this costing us? Lack of support Increased stress Unattainable and/or high expectations put on ourselves and others ... Disconnect... When it comes to parenting, child development, education, mental health, physical health...these are high costs... The very word ‘independent’ implies that at one point one would’ve had to be ‘dependent’ in order to be less so. It’s a two step process and the first step is support. It’s normalizing dependence.

Just because something is common does not mean it’s normal or natural or that you can’t do anything about it. Depression Anxiety Fatigue ... Breastfeeding difficulties Reflux Colic Digestive issues Allergies Tongue tie... These things are common, particularly in new parents and babies. As result, these concerns are often ignored or cast aside by health professionals, but they’re not necessarily normal and you don’t have to live with them. Support is available.

I can’t begin to tell you how many clients I’ve worked with who have bought whatever sleep program with the lure of sleeping thru the night in so many nights by following a step by step plan only to be disappointed when it didn’t work or didn’t work for long. The thing is, sleep isn’t a recipe where you follow specific steps and receive a specific result. It’s not as easy as A + B = C. There is no one size fits all. No, sleep is a biological function. It’s... a relationship. It’s complex and unique to each individual. As a sleep specialist, I can’t offer you any guarantees, but I can promise that I will support you in uncovering the root of your sleep challenges. I will empower you to follow your instincts. I will give you the information and education to understand, and connect with, your child on a deeper level. I will help you to understand and implement strategies based on your child’s uniqueness and developmental needs. I won’t scare you or silence you See more

Once again, parents must become the buffer to society, not the agent of society. Dr. Gordon Neufeld & Dr. Gabor Mate Society determines a lot of how we act, and even more so, how we parent. Society tells us:... Not to hold our babies too much or else we’ll spoil them That they should be sleeping through the night the moment they come into the world That we shouldn’t breastfeed too long That our children shouldn’t cry or express emotion (and neither should we) That children must apologize That children need to be socialized right away That children need discipline based on fear and isolation or else how do they learn? That children should know how to read, write, and do math before kindergarten And so on... Society does not place emphasis on the developmental process. Nor does it respect it, our children, or our parental instincts. Society merely aims for comfort. As parents, it’s important that we act on behalf of our children. We are not agents of society. So hold the babies, know that they aren’t supposed to sleep through the night, don’t push them into situations before they’re ready, encourage and support emotions...Society doesn’t get to dictate your parenting.