The Speakeasy
Cache Bay Rd P2B 3H7 Sturgeon Falls, ON, Canada

Getting worried here.

I work with a guy from Mexico who doesn't speak a lot of English. A Canada Goose made a nest by one of the paddock gates charged and hissed at him while he was putting horses out. He comes back to us after and says. I do not like the fuckin’ cobra chicken."

I don’t give a shit anymore , I’m letting the kids do whatever the fuck they want.

From an anonymous UPS delivery driver... 5 types of customers since the rona: 1) Mike : He has been waiting for this moment his whole life. He has been drinking boilermakers since 10:00 am in his recliner and his Remington 30/06 is within arms reach. He has 6 months provisions in the basement and a bug out bag due west buried in the woods. Mike demands a handshake as I give him his package. He’s sizing me up as I deliver his weed and ammo.... Mike will survive this, and he will kill you if he needs to. 2) Brad: He is standing at his window wearing skinny jeans and a Patagonia t-shirt. He is mad because there were no organic tomatoes at Whole Foods today. He points at the ground where he has taped a 6 ft no go zone line from his porch. I leave his case of Fuji water, organic granola bites, and his new Jason Derulo hat at the tape. Brad will not survive. Mike will probably eat him. 3) Nancy: She has sprayed everything with Thieves oil. Bought all the Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, meat, and bread from the local grocery chain. She has quarantined her kids and sprays them with a mixture of thieves, lavender, & mint essential oils daily. She has posted every link known to man about The Rona on her social media. She will spray you if you break the 6 ft rule. I will leave her yet another case of toilet paper. She will last longer than Brad, but not Mike. 4) Karen: She has called everybody and read them the latest news on The Rona. She asked for the manager at Food Lion, Walmart, Publix, McDonald's, Chi-Fil-A, and Vons all before noon demanding more toilet paper. Karen’s kids are currently faking The Rona to avoid her. I’m delivering Hello kitchen to her. Karen will not survive longer than Brad. 5) Mary: Is sitting in the swing watching her kids have a water balloon fight in the front yard as she is on her fourth glass of wine. She went to the store and bought 2 cases of pop tarts, 6 boxes of cereal, 8 bags of pizza rolls, And a 6 roll pack of toilet paper. There is a playlist of Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, Tom Petty and AC/DC playing in the background. I’m bringing her second shipment of 15 bottles of wine in 3 days. Mary will survive and marry Mike. Together they will repopulate the earth. And there you have it.