Stephanie Gilson Counselling

#WiseWords from my friend @heatherthecoach

A goal without a plan is just a wish... This has got me thinking lately of all those times I say, One day. Our one day could be today. When we have a desire, dream, hope or goal yet don’t create an action plan, we can never achieve that desire, dream or hope. ... In my 8 week #WearTheRedLipstick workshop this is one of the first things we will do. Identify our red lipstick goal and create an action plan to achieve that goal! Let’s smash that goal and celebrate your successes together! What’s on your one day list? link in bio #goalcrushing #goalsetting #womensempowerment

RePosted with #repost @jenpeters_soulguide_healer Reposting @the.holistic.psychologist: ... "Unresolved trauma lives in the body. Ideally, we would have a secure attachment to a parent. This means that the parent provides us with a safe connections where our physical + emotional needs are met.... The ability for a parent to meet these needs depends on the parents own attachment they had with their parents. Cycles repeat themselves. If love meant neglect (this includes emotional neglect where we had to work through big emotions alone), abuse (this includes chronic chaos + conflict), or we had to betray ourselves to receive love (deny our own needs to gain connection) we will repeat this with partners. Humans always seek the familiar. Even if the familiar brought pain, anger, or fear. The mind + body feel they can predict the familiar. So unconsciously we seek it because predictably means safety. The pull to the familiar is so real that our nervous system + neurotransmitters in the brain become highly activated when we meet a person who embodies the same qualities as a parent we had a conflicted relationship with. This activation is a chemical cocktail within our bodies that feels fun, exciting, + irresistible if we are not aware of our own patterns. In this space we can’t see another person clearly. We are in trauma brain survival state (where we cannot access higher states of rational thinking.) We jump in without boundaries, without conscious communication, + without connection to our authentic self. All in an attempt to receive love + avoid the abandonment we faced as children. Here are some questions you can ask yourself as you navigate relationships: 1. What did my earliest relationships show me that love looked/felt like? 2. How does this person make me feel in my body (it’s helpful to practice breathwork + meditation in small amounts daily to create this connection) 3. What qualities excite me about this person? Did a parent display these same qualities? Can you relate?

BOUNDARIES!! The small boundaries are almost more important than the big ones! You know how come? ... Those small boundaries are where we teach people how we wish to be treated, how we value our own selves and by setting the small ones, it often times won’t reach the big one In my 8 week #WearTheRedLipstick workshop, you will learn the tools and skills to stop letting the small things slide and set those all important #boundaries Email [email protected] for more info! link to workshop in bio

#wisewords from #NelsonMandela When we stop playing small and start showing up in the authentic truth of all we are, that’s when we can truly live our #passion not using your voice... not wearing that dress in your closet you love not setting boundaries and letting slide not wearing the red lipstick speaking your truth wear that dress and own it! Let people bask at your confidence setting those small boundaries that teaches others how to treat you put on your metaphorical red lipstick *link to #WearTheRedLipstick workshop in bio #liveoutloud #speakyourtruth #liveyourpassion

YOU ARE WORTHY! #beseenbeheard #weartheredlipstick

Today is International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers We still live in such a double sexual standard for men and women when it comes to sex. How come? How come a known sex offender is able to hold political office yet a nurse making money through a #pandemic by her own #consent and #choice is condemned? ... Would this had happened if it was a male nurse instead of a female nurse? How come the movies #striptease and #showgirls were degraded by the press, yet @magicmikemovie was just as bad review wise, was seen as a light hearted, funny, cheesy romp? We need begin to have an equal conversation about sex that isn’t #sexist and rooted in #patriarchal nonsense. #ViolenceAgainstSexWorkers must stop How can we keep harming and degrading sex workers when the people that consume sex workers commodities are normal? If we condemn one we must condemn the other. But here’s the secret. Sex is human Sex is biological Sex is NOT shameful Sex workers are human! Sex workers are daughters! Sex workers are friends! Sex workers are good mothers! #sexworkiswork

Life is about the small pleasures! And on this #covidchristmas I’m so glad for the Christmas lights down #TrinitySt #Vancouver #ChristmasLights #christmas2020 @tishmtg

It’s time to have a college in place FACT BC #AdrianDix

Let’s talk #plasticsurgery and #cosmeticsurgery Recently I posted about accepting our flaws. I do believe that even with the things I perceive as unattractive about myself, there’s also such a thing as #BodyAutonomy. As a society we are so quick to judge cosmetic and plastic surgery. We spend time shaming other people for their own body choices telling people they are shallow and that God made us that way. ... We state our opinions to the person about their body choices telling others Why would you do that?! I think you’re perfect just as you are! Or I think you’re crazy, I don’t see what you’re talking about! Here’s the thing. We can accept our imperfections AND still want them to change. I’ve had both cosmetic work done and plastic surgery. I have #NoRegrets for anything I’ve done to augment my body. If using #fillers and #botox makes your feel more #confident then #DOIT If a #breastreduction will help your back and neck pain or you simply think you want them smaller then #DOIT If you want a #breastenlargement because you simply want to be more endowed (even though others tell you you’re fine, or just don’t go to big) #DOIT and go as BIG as you want! If you want a #buttlift, a #nosejob, a #tummytuck, fillers for your face, botox, an #eyelift, a #facelift.... anything..... #DOIT The neat thing about body autonomy is it’s our decision. You’re allowed to decide what is best for you. Anyone that has an opinion is just nattering background noise. #youwithoutapology #authenticallyyou #loveyourself #liveoutloud #selflove #selfcompassion #therapistsofinstgram #mentalhealthmatters @unibasel #selfesteem #bodyautonomy #weartheredlipstick

Very socially distanced outside time with friends today remembering our friend Lindsay and her daughter, gone WAY too soon. Lindsay and Avery, I am better for having met you. I loved our bitch sessions about stupidity. I love connecting with you about our brothers, also gone too soon, I loved watching you laugh cry and you couldn’t catch your breath. I loved our potluck lunches and making fake Janes with you in the kitchen. Stinky rotten bean smell and all!

Have you ever gone to a therapist, counsellor or group therapy? Did it help? Or are you someone who is skeptical of therapy? Tell me why please!

Yesterday was a tough day at my day job so I decided to add a side of zen alongside my work day today! I highly recommend supporting this local Vancouver gem! Drinking Dog & Co. - Homemade Soy Candles I have #thedottie candle with a gorgeous scent of #satsuma filling my whole house! ... These candles are soy based, they have a jar return rewards program; go envirofriendly, and 10% of the proceeds until the end of Oct will go to Thank Dog I Am Out Dog Rescue #workzen #pawistivevibes #drinkingdogco #candles #gozen #peaceful #mentalhealth #selfcare #positivevibes

I recently made the mistake of reading all the comments on this video which I should not have done. I was told that BLM is a terrorist group, hate group and should be equated with the KKK. As a transpersonal therapist, a therapist that believes we are all connected. That the universe is universal and we are not only connected to each other, but we are also connected to the universe as well, I don't understand how a movement that preaches a message of inclusion, equality, and ...love is equated to a group like the KKK meant to separate and divide. I found this piece heartbreaking, moving, touching, powerful, beautiful, and necessary. Let's use this universal slap in the face that is 2020 to grow, be better, love more, have a little compassion and empathy, listen to someone with opposing views with an open mind and maybe, just maybe we can come out of this a better world. #blm #britainsgottalent #BGT2020 #BlackLivesMatter2020 #globalawakening #compassion #empathy #EmpathyForAll

Thank you Franka Frei for defending your dissertation on the portrayal of Menstruation in Media! I’m passionate about busting the shame and taboo of periods. How come I should feel shameful about something that literally half the worlds population experiences? ... How come I should feel shameful about something that brought every person on this planet life? How come this isn’t talked about openly in media? How come I am shamed into using euphemisms like that time of the month, shark week, Aunt Flo, the red tide etc? How come I am shamed for having a hormone surge and told I’m too emotional or I can’t control myself or my behaviour because of it? (Myth bust.... I’m almost 45. Got my period around 9 yrs old. I’ve been menstruating for 36 yrs. I THINK I mostly got the hang of it now) How come cismen are so shameful about purchasing tampons, pads or other menstruation products? (Fun fact... NO ONE and I do mean no one, thinks the products are for you. I guarantee almost women in a store thinks wow.... how lovely!) Franka, I applaud you! Thank you for fighting so hard to bust this shame!

How on earth did I forget to post the jalapeño chocolate chip cookies with the jalapeños from the garden?! Shhhh don’t tell my Dad! They are a little surprise for him when they get home from #adventureswitharchietherv #bakingtherapy

After having a busy summer with lots of amazing park dates, patio dates and a couple of weeks enjoying my parents RV #archietherv, I was grateful for the weekend inside. How come I had to stay inside I didn’t enjoy and feel awful for the people living in WA, OR & CA I did make sure to keep myself busy though. ... I took a 4 hr workshop I braved the smoke to gather my tomato haul from the garden I gathered a small but mighty jalapeño haul from the garden I also cut off the spinach from the garden Roasted two chickens, took them apart and froze the cooked meat and carcasses (for future stock making) Roasted cauliflower & broccoli for this week’s salad lunches Coming home from Keromeos a week ago, I purchased 20 heads of elephant garlic. I processed that, spread it across a cookie sheet, scored it and froze it. The next morning broke apart the squares of garlic and popped them in a freezer bag Took the jalapeños and made a lime, cilantro, jalapeño aioli and made a slaw that I dressed with that Took some chicken, the slaw, toasted some soft taco shells and made amazing tacos for dinner Took the spinach haul, blanched that, froze in balls for my Dad’s future smoothie making. They no longer make spinach pucks (or we can’t find them) so I made some for him And after picking up a box of peaches from Keromeos for my Mom, even though I’m allergic to raw peaches, I threw on some gloves and cut them up, laid on a sheet pan and froze those PHEW! I’m pooped but feel so glad to have done so much AND still had time to mediate today! Productive domestic goddess days make me feel really accomplished. What do you do that makes you feel accomplished? #domesticgoddess #productive #foodharvest #foodsaver #learning #busy #covidlife #stayindoors #smokeskies #PNWfires #apocalypse #2020cantakeabackseat #2020yourefired

White people created racism, whites people can destroy it too Jane Elliott Malcolm-Jamal Warner... #DestroyRacism #weareallonerace #Human #humanity #learn #dobetter2020 #TimeToWakeUp #stopracism

#RepresentationMatters #BLM #RIPChadwickBoseman #RIPBlackPanther #wakandaforever

1am and the amazing #vancouver #lighteningstorm kept me up. taking time to reflect on the magic that is Mother Nature taking time to be quiet and still in the middle of the city while no traffic is around... taking time to revel in the vastness of the mountains that surround the place I call home taking time to be grateful I have lots of coffee beans and a new espresso machine to keep me going at work tomorrow! #coffeeislife #vancity #crazyweather #storm #eastvan #hastingssunrise #eastvillage #vancouverbc

I've been pondering what to say in my own words about Cardi B's new release WAP, and I couldn't have said it better than this visual of pictures below. Thank you Anthony McPherson for the labour and for the support of female sexuality. Ben Shapiro's outrage for the lyrics and concern for Cardi B's sexual health are not the same sentiments I've ever heard him speak about male rappers and their own d*cks or concern for the way they speak about women in their rap songs. I coul...d sit on my soapbox about women's sexuality and that I fully support women to stand up, whether it be in a rap song, stripping, writing, art, burlesque, in their own bedrooms with whomever they choose, however often they choose, to live out loud and own their sexuality in whatever way that fits for them, but I will leave these visuals here for your viewing pleasure. On that note, in this house, WAP is on repeat right now! #sexcounsellor #sexcounselling #empowerment #empowered #cardib #wap #outloudandproud #feminism #feministart #femininity #licensedprofessionalcounselor #feelgoodfriday #WAPS #AnthonyMcPherson

Such valuable information!

Let's talk a min about #mentalillness, specifically today about #bipolardisorderawareness Struggling with a mental illness is no joke. Watching someone you love struggle with the insidious nature of a mental illness is absolutely heartbreaking. It's like seeing the person and sometimes there is a wall in front of that person. That wall is the mental illness. The person is behind that wall screaming for help but the mental illness wall is bigger, louder, and more dominant than... the person behind the mental illness. Bipolar disorder is no joke. Manic episodes can be just that. Manic. Symptoms can include: !! - Irritability !! - Talking rapidly which others cannot keep up with !! - Racing thoughts and jumping from one though to another !! - Inability to concentrate !! - Reckless thinking !! - No thought of consequences !! - Hallucinations As someone loving someone with a mental illness, you can often be left feeling like you are: ?? - Controlling; trying to control environments or manage them and their actions or words ?? - Helpless ?? - Afraid; some days are better than others and sometimes you don't know what you are going to wake up to. Or scared to ask questions ?? - Alone; Sometimes you don't know where to go for support ?? - Feeling like it's something you've done or perhaps deserve that treatment ?? - Feeling that you have to always be their therapist or that you can't have your own opinion ?? - Feeling selfish because you want your own self-care or to put yourself first sometimes If you or a loved one is struggling with a mental illness please reach out for support because self-help is asking for help. www.stephaniegilsoncounselling.com http://counsellor-directory.acctcounsellor.com//member_lis or https://www.canada.ca//mental-/mental-health-get-help.html #mentalhealthawareness #askforhelp #licensedprofessionalcounselor #licensedprofessional #nojoke #selfhelp #WellnessWednesday